Feelings Today

Dec 16, 2013

My taste buds have definitely changed. I use to love water, but now it tastes strange and it hurts my stomach when I do decide to drink it. And that's even if I sip it! Actually, a few nights ago,I had a vomit incident. I drank my cup of water and went straight to sleep afterwards. Apparently, I had acid reflux because that water came right back up four hours later. Furthermore, (don't read the next line if you are squeamish) I vomited up so much bile, I thought I was dying! 

Gosh, until this surgery, I never realized how emotional this process is. I mean, they told me! In fact, they made me wait 2 years before they did it. Sometimes I think maybe they took so long to do it because I wasn't meant to have it. I know things will change as I heal and the regret will go away, but I must say: Food really did revolve around me more than I realized!

Because I can't have the foods in the amounts that I want, I am constantly trying to feed everyone LOL I'm always cooking something. I can't eat it, but I love smelling it and watching other people eat it. I guess I have also discovered that I am weird as well.

Food is in every situation it seems: Having company? Oh, gotta make some snacks! Going to the movies? Must have snacks! Going to the park? Must have snacks! Going shopping? Must stop and eat somewhere!

I try to explain that to my fiance'. Ever since my surgery, I have taken an alarming look at how he eats! He eats EVERYTHING! I try telling him that he should eat healthy with me because he doesn't want to end up like me: Get big and get stuck that way. But, that is easier said than done I suppose. People tried to tell me the same things, but look where it got me.

I'm not ungrateful, but I can't wait until a year from now when I know my body again...

 

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Akron, OH
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Dec 09, 2013
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