Diana06

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It has been 7 months since surgery and I weigh in at 164 pounds and I feel great. My blood test results came back and everything is excellent. Currently I am in a relationship, but it is too soon for me. I tried breaking up with him and that did not work. I care about him very much to the point where I think I am in love but how can you love a person without loving yourself first.  It does not help when your family members tell you not to settle down with the person you are currently in a relationship with. I hear it all the time about how beautiful I am and I can get a much more attractive looking guy. It makes me second guess myself and my relationship. I want to date other people and enjoy it. I know there is something about me that I need to work on and I think that is accepting the new me. I have changed for the better but I am still that bubbly smiling girl.   

My body is starting to change again and it is strange yet exciting. The other day while I was on my side and for the first time in my life I felt my hip bones, shoulder bones, and leg bones. It felt weird to touch it and kinda gross. Dont get me wrong I am very excited but I do not like to touch it just yet. I can see my veins on my hand and feet. My left leg is a lot smaller than my right. I hope one day they will match up.  I can not wait until I have plastic surgery.

It is amazing what this surgery has done to me. I am down 77 pounds in 5 months. I wear a size 16 pants with a size medium shirt. I went to Victoria Secerts the other day and fit into a medium underwear and shirt. Wowza. I actually feel like a sexy seductive woman.  People have commented on my attitude and my confidence and can see the glow in my face. I do have to keep myself on check because it does go to my head. I am very active and enjoy doing things outdoors. There are many things that I can do that I was unable to do before. I can cross my left leg over my right leg but I can not cross my right leg over my left leg and feel comfortable. I can sit in a chair without my blubber and hips expanding the handles of the chair and getting stuck. I can get up off the floor without any hassle. I can exercise. I can see the scale numbers without having to hold my belly up. I can see my toes more and more every day. My eyes are getting wider. I can feel my hip bones. There are many other things I can do.  

I can not believe that it has been 3 ½ months since I had the surgery. I would take nothing back! I have so much joy within myself. I have not felt like this since only God knows when. It feels great to have energy again and to be able to run around with my nieces and nephews. Others have told me that I have changed but in a good way. I have this glow about me now. I think it is because I drink a ton of water but it’s not; it’s me starting a new life again. Also, people have noticed the drastic change in my weight. It felt good in the beginning but now it’s a little awkward. I think it is because people are looking at me which I am not used to. I have noticed that when I am out men will hold the door open for me, smile at me, and start a conversation. That is such a great feeling to know that you are being accepted in society. I realize that those are harsh words to be accepted again but it is true. For instance, the other night I went out with friends to a club. I had so men wanting to dance with me I had no idea what to do with myself. I did get a good workout!  All I need to do is work on my skin issues. Other than that I am one extremely happy gal!

My body is definitely not proportionate. I am wearing a size 18 pants and my shirt size ranges from a medium to a large. So I look little on top and big on the bottom. I can describe it as a corkscrew. My boss referrers to me as a weeble wobble. Which is light on the top and heavy on the bottom so you do not fall over. My main goal is to find out who I am and what I enjoy doing. My second goal is to love myself and my body no matter what shape it is. I find myself talking about my fat body constantly. It bothers me but it just comes out of my mouth and I could only assume that it bothers other people to. Before weight loss surgery I never talked about my fat because I was to embarrass. One major benefit from having the surgery is that I am more open about this process and have been showing my stomach to people; Strange but true.   

I have noticed my arms waving back at me and figured out a way how to make them look slimmer. The seceret is to tuck the arm fat underneath the armpit and then you look in the mirror it's not as bad to look at. :) To tone my saggy skin I have been working out everday. I feel great about myself and bought some clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch. I purchased 5 tops and 2 out of the 5 items I fit into. Holey Macrol! I am at lost for words. My weight loss has slowed down but my legs are looking sexier. My new hobbie is working out at the gym. I am trying to figure out who I am and what is enjoyable. Food is not the answer for me any more.

I have been focusing on going to the gym every day. I feel very good and have energy. I think I did to much the other day and felt the inside of my stomach do something weird. I think I pulled a muscle. But other than that I try walking 3 miles a day and do weight training 2 days out of the week. My facial features are changing and when I look in the mirror I do not see me. I feel like I have a fat body and my head is a size of a pea. Kinda weird. I do notice that I get very critical about my body fat/skin. I am getting obsessed with the way my body looks. The part of my body that I do not like to look at is my mid section and the way my arms wave back to me. Before surgery I told myself that I would not be one of the people that are soo critical about the way their body parts look. Well I have to admit that I have. I still feel like a hot sexy mamma. I think if I buy new clothes I will feel even better about myself. Some days I feel sloppy because my clothes are baggy. I do not want to break down and buy clothing just yet. I want to save more money for my tummy tuck and my boobs. By the way I fit into my Victoria Secert bra today. Thank god I did not throw that one away.