My story on "telling people"

Nov 19, 2013

First it was my mothers idea to have surgery.  My surgeon did her lap band about 3 yrs ago. So I knew I had that support from the jump. My step dad was supportive but he didn't agree he was just concerned for my health and still is. I wasn't going to tell my biological dad or anyone on his side of the family (there's so many of them) just bc I didn't want to be talked out of i or receive endless phone calls/ texts about their concerns or questions. I think my aunt on my dads side had something done not too long ago and just didn't say anything because she recently lost a lot of weight. But I didn't tell my dad until like a couple of days preop. I gave him the disclaimer of how I wasn't even going to tell him so be lucky I did kind of speech so his objections were reserved but he seems to want to tell everyone he even asked if it was ok if he could begin to tell the family once I told him  I was discharged. HECK NO! It's my business to tell and why would you want to tell on my behalf. I should be the one to share. But he promised he wouldn't. If he does I won't tell him anything else. I know he told his girlfriend bc she's a doctor so he probably had some concerns or questions he expressed to her. Quite frankly when we all get together for family functions I've always been big and I always show up bigger than the last time. I really just want to show up and surprise everyone at the next function in my new body. Without anyone knowing or expecting me to be smaller because they know i had surgery. If they ask how i did it ill tell them but I just want that thrill factor because they've always known me as the chunky cousin/niece/grandchild/sister/daughter. Just to one day show up thin would be a great surprise. We all live between new York California north Carolina and Virginia and jersey so were spread all over and we don't see each other but once every couple of yrs. last time we were all together was my grandmothers funeral then 5 months later my cousins funeral everyone couldn't make it but Even then I know I had gained weight in those couple months since my grandmothers funeral. So like I said I always show up bigger and I can feel everyones thoughts and concerns about my weight even though they don't verbalize it.  I can't wait until we're all together again and I'm not the same as they saw me last! Not to spite them but just to see how proud they'll be. We were supposed to have the reunion for Xmas this yr but itwas postponed until maybe summer 2014. Works for me that way I have more time to lose more weight!

 on my moms side there's only my grandmother my aunt and her husband they all know and are supportive , they knew before surgery also. They've always been concerned about my weight so I think since my moms surgery was a success and they got a glimpse of the WLS results they were at ease. So I think they were pro- anything that gets this weight off but still concerned about my health and making sure everything's ok since I'm young and I'm the "baby" of the family. Literally I'm the only grandchild so they spoil me, when I have kids it's over for me but I know they'll be loved and taken care of.  

Anyway.....I choose the ones I tell about this decision wisely and selectively.  As for my friends i told all of my besties.a group of 4 of us. We call ourselves the dream team. They're all thin and pretty. I just wasn't thin. So they've all been supportive. We all Met in college and we have a lot of mutual friends and I've shared my journey with some of our other friends too.  Now I have couple of close coworkers that I would say I've  established a friendship with and they're the ones that have been sort of shady. They tell me no they don't want me to change or they like me "thick" I'm way past the thick phase as far as I'm concerned. I think that when I get those responses they are content with me being just a pretty face but once I'm their size or maybe even smaller then there will be some kind of competition. Maybe all the men in the building won't give them all the attention or they won't be the cutest things in the office anymore. Its a shame. But I'm looking forward to the way ppl treat me once I start showing results, male or female good or bad.im welcoming it all. Especialllytheway men that knew me preop will respond afterwards. I don't know how I'll handle a guy that might find me attractive afterwards that didn't give me attention before surgery. That's so insulting and I don't think I'll respond well. I already think one guy in particular will do that but well see. Ive told some strangers that I've met in the store while shopping. I don't know how it came up but it did and they've been thrilled. Even one girl I told when I went to get my weight history from a visit in urgent care she worked there and I told her I needed the history for insurance requirement for surgery and she was ecstatic for me. she Asked if I could stop in again after my results so she can see what I'll look like, lol I told her sure I would. I seem to get more excitement from ppl I don't know. I just hope none of my relationships with family or friends change. I've heard some ppl lose friends bc they're accused of changing. I'm sure some  ppl do change and get full of themselves because they've never been "pretty" or "handsome" Or been confident enough to say what's on their minds, but I havent had those problems I've just been trapped in a large body. So I don't think I'll be any different I won't need that boost of confidence that being thin normally gives ppl. But we shall see so ....until next time!

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NC
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Jun 12, 2012
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