Donna Jensen

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Nothing to do with weight loss, my progress or any words of wisdom. Just have a laugh

Today's post is going to be a reminder of why I have done what I have done to get healthy. It is intended for myself (and anyone else reading) to read and remember why surgery was necessary to change my life should I ever be tempted to stray from the path, or I wonder what the hell I have done to myself. Credit goes to Wulfrune of the UK for starting this thread on the RNY forums and giving me a chance to reflect on my reasons for having surgery.

Top ten reasons I hate being fat.


1. Difficulty driving a car. Can't get that seatbelt around me, and all my shirts have black marks from the steering wheel rubbing my belly.

2. Sitting in restaurant booths just wasn't working for me. I once got wedged in for a few seconds and couldn't get back out or the rest of the way in. Completely mortifying. Ahh but in those restaurants where I DID fit in the booth...the table certainly was a nice resting spot for my boobs. Who needs a napkin in their lap? Not me!

3. Sitting on airplanes was near impossible. I never knew they had seatbelt extenders, so when the seatbelt lights came on, I would just have my sweater in my lap to hide the fact that I wasn't wearing one. Never mind putting the try table down either. I either held my drink or used the tray table in an empty seat near me.

4. Sex was such an ordeal that I started trying to avoid it. It's gotten better, but I still won't do anything in the bedroom with my husband unless it's dark.

5. Not having a lap really sucks. My cats try to get on my lap for some lovin' and I always end up with claws in my leg when they fall off because my belly is in the way. Or how about going to a fancy restaurant, putting the napkin in your itty bitty lap, and having it fall to the floor in 3 seconds flat. Then it's an exercise in futility to pick it back up without getting out of the chair that the nice host just pushed in for me, like a gentleman.

6. Bending over to put on socks and shoes was a workout all by itself. I used to have to put on my pants first, then use the cuff of the pant leg to lift up my leg high enough to get the ankle crossed over the knee just to put on my socks. The shoes I always bought were slip-ons because tying shoes nearly made my head explode from the blood rushing to my head.

7. Buying clothes for myself. This was once a fun thing for me in my younger, thinner days. Now, I buy clothes once every 5 years when everything I own is falling apart. Trying on clothes in the store's dressing room is the worst kind of ordeal. Pick the biggest size they have, take it in, get it halfway on before realizing it's not going to get over my hips let alone zipping or buttoning. Peel everything off, get re-dressed in my old clothes. Come out of the dressing room dripping sweat and shoving stuff at the attendant like it was her fault it didn't fit. Leave the store without new clothes. Story of my adult life. If I do manage to find something that fits, all it seems to do is make me look rumpled and fatter (is that possible?) and like a slob.

8. Having my husband say to me, "let's go camping this weekend" or "let's go for a bike-ride, it's such a nice day out". And me saying, "aww honey, I wish I could, but I have to do XXXX today" or "Eww camping, with all the bugs and crawly things?" Actually I always loved camping and bike riding but weighing this much makes it nearly impossible to do. Last time I tried to sit on a bike was about 15 years ago and the entire bike seat was swallowed by my butt and I felt like I was sitting on a pole without the seat.

9. Walking was becoming an effort as well and I was tempted to use those motorized carts in the grocery stores whenever I went. I'd have to go into the store with a cart even if I was only picking up one or two things because I knew I couldn't make it through the store without that cart to lean on and rest my back.

10. No energy to do ANYTHING. It took me forever to get the most basic of housework done because I always got tired, sweaty and out of breath doing simple things like vaccuuming, mopping the kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, brushing the dog, etc. Forget about things like lawn mowing, leaf raking, snow shovelling and weed pulling. Those were automatically delegated to my husband who is as fit as ever thanks to the military. Sometimes I feel like such a burden to him

I had my first trip to the gym today. First real gym I should say. The pitiful excuse of a fitness center where I used to work was like a dank hole in the wall compared to this! I met with my very own personal trainer, a bright, bubbly, bald  man named Otis. He's awesome and has this charismatic way of motivating everyone around him. I'm looking forward to introducing my husband to him lol. 

AlohaJenni, that I met from right here on OH, had me meet her at the gym and she introduced me to Otis. She showed me how the computer thingy works that stores all of my workout information, and got me on the treadmill for a short 10 minute walk while we waited for Otis to finish his class. She looks amazing by the way, and only 9 months out. I've seen her pictures on her profile here, but in person, she looks so different! I can only hope I do as well.

So I start tomorrow morning, 3 days a week at 8am on a beginners circuit training program, plus I'll go back every night for a walk on the treadmill with my husband (he doesn't know this yet  ) I'm very much looking forward to this!

Look out Terri! I'll be catching up to you before you know it!

Well today is my 9th post-op week. So far so good. I hit a stall a couple of times and I have learned if I eat more when that happens, the scale starts to move again. Then I go back to what I was eating before until the next stall. 

I quit my job this week. Couldn't take anymore of that over stressful place. I'm trying to figure out how to pay my bills, but even that is less stressful than that job. So anywho, I've been exercising more now that I'm gainfully unemployed. And I've been exploring the joys of cooking again. Something I haven't done in many a year. I've found some good recipes on Sparkpeople.com and some really great recipes from some people here on OH. Looking back through weeks and months on the recipe forums also yields some good recipes. Everything I make is low fat, low sugar, high protein, and very yummy. Thus my husband is also getting healthy

I've been to the store to buy one new outfit so I have something that looks halfway decent to interview in. I'm keeping the receipts so I can return everything too lol. I've gone down 3 or 4 sizes since surgery, totally shocked when I went to the dressing room with the size I thought I'd fit into, only to have to go back out and find the next size down. And get this. My FEET (had to buy new shoes with the new clothes) are a full size smaller! That just rocked me.

I still don't see a real difference in my pics. I am posting an update picture each month now. I'm still heavy. BUT the last time I weighed what I do now was 20 years ago just before I got pregnant with my second child. So that says something. I'm losing slow, but I'm ok with that...as long as I'm losing. I've been big for so long, I won't know what to do with myself once I get down to a healthy weight.

 I got to talk on the phone to one of the girls on my friends list today. AlohaJenniH who actually lives pretty close by me. We chatted for a long time today and it was great. We have some stuff in common, like living in Alaska, working in the same place (at different times), having a husband in the military,  and stationed at Ft. Sill.  We made a date to go to one of the gyms on post for Tuesday. Hopefully I can get on a regular routine and turn up my exercise levels a notch or two. It'll be really nice to have someone to talk to in person who has already experienced what I'm going through now.

Well, haven't I just rambled on and on. I need to get dinner put away and clean up the kitchen. Have a lovely weekend!

Tomorrow is my 7th post op week, officially. I'm feeling pretty good, even though I can't see any results yet, I can feel them. I went to my nutritionist today and she told me (gasp) that I'm not getting enough fat or carbs in my diet to be healthy. She said just because I've had surgery doesn't mean my body needs that much less than someone who hasn't had surgery. I think she has a point lol. She said I need fat in my diet so my body can absorb my fat soluble vitamins (those are A, D, E and K in case you wanted to know). I asked if my body can't just use the tons of fat it already has. She said no, of course. That is fat stored in tissue and cells for energy, not for vitamin absorption. That has to come from the foods I eat. She didn't say "DUH" but she didn't need to

Then she said I need to have between 90-100 grams of carbs in my diet to keep out of long term ketosis. Now I know there's a thousand opinions on the safety of being in ketosis, so it's hard to know what to believe. I'll bump up my carbs a little and see how I do on weight loss. If I stall out again, I'll take them back down.

So for the record, this is where she wants to see my ranges for the different levels:

Calories between 600 and 800 (which is where I am)
Protein between 60 and 65 (which is where I am)
Fat between 20 and 25 grams (which I've been way under)
Carbs between 90-100 grams (which I've been about half that)

I got half of it right anyways hehe

I've been back at work for a couple of weeks now. That first day back was a killer! I was fine at work, then came home ravenous because I thought I'd eat lunch at home. WRONG. I ate too fast, didn't chew well enough, and suffered mightily for 12 hours afterwards! Longest day of my life, I swear. I learned to eat my lunch at work, at my desk, and chew it really really good. Since then, everything's been great. I haven't had any foamies since that day, and I'm sure not going to attempt anything that might cause dumping. I don't even want to know if I dump.

I've lost 31 pounds so far, and like I said, I can feel it. I can walk 2 miles, and sometimes 3 miles if the heat lets up for a lousy hour  I can wear things I haven't worn in a good five years, and I'm still thanking God he blessed me with a packrat nature and I never throw away anything, like the old clothes I outgrew 5 years ago! Even my shoes are feeling loose and that just tickles my pickle

Anyways, off to find some dinner. Till next time...

I LOVE MY OH!

Well, my first post op month is behind me and I think I've done fairly well. I am going back to work on Monday (EEK!) as part time until I feel up to speed. I am so tired in the afternoons it's ridiculous, so I will work from 7am to noon or 1pm and then be able to come home and crash lol.

So the scale has moved quite a bit since surgery, as of this morning I'm down 23 pounds since surgery and 54 pounds total from that awful day of "highest weight ever". I have also learned the hard way what "the foamies" are and what it feels like to eat too much, and to not chew well enough. The docs are right when they say not to eat in front of the tv, computer or with a book. You just shovel it in and swallow without paying attention, and before you know it you are worshipping the porcelain god. It's a double edged sword for me though, because if I just sit at the table and try to eat slow, I get bored and impatient and end up eating to fast that way too. Whoever thought meal times would be so difficult? My only other issue is a spot on my incision that won't heal because my bra rubs on that spot and keeps it red and irritated. I've started wearing a band-aid on it...they have these new band-aids that are large and have a coating of Neosporin on the pad, so we'll see if that helps.

The benefits have so hugely outweighed any risks or problems (like the foamies) that I wouldn't trade any of it to be my pre-op self again. I can walk now, for a long long time. Before, I would have to stop and sit every 10 to 15 minutes because my back hurt. Now I end up stopping only when my feet hurt. I haven't had my feet hurt in years, mostly because my back beat em to it! I'm also wearing my wedding ring on my finger again, where I've been wearing it on a chain around my neck because it wouldn't go on my finger for the past 3 years. Probably the biggest thing is when I'm driving my car. First, I can wear my seatbelt again. That was a big deal to me because I hated driving without it. Second, I look down and there's about 3 inches of space between my belly and the steering wheel! There used to be no space at all! I had black marks on my shirts where the steering wheel used to rub. 

All in all, I'm very happy with my decision to have this surgery. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself. When I go to my son's wedding next year, I will be able to hold my head up and dance without shame. If not for this surgery, I can tell you I would end up being the wall flower that I always have been. Hiding from life and just watching it happen to everyone else.

I'm 10 days out now. I went to my first post op visit today and got my staples out, and believe it or not I feel good enough to go back to work (desk job). Surgeon won't clear me for at least another week though, and thats ok, I've needed the time away from the job lol. There's been no dumping, no nausea, no vomiting, no food intolerance. My taste buds haven't changed either. Heck, I was almost wondering if he really did the procedure. The only thing that lets me be sure he did is that I get full after a 1/4 cup of food or less. I know it's early days yet, but I think as long as I follow orders and don't try to eat things like high fat/high sugar foods, this will be a breeze. 

I haven't seen any results yet mainly because I lost 30 pounds on my own pre-op, and I don't regret what I've done for a moment. Not even when I was all drugged out in the hospital did I go "what have I done?!". Things will only get better from here on

Home again :-) I'm officially on part two of my journey and on the loser's bench. 

The surgery experience

My surgery went very well, Dr. Warnock came out to talk to my husband after 30-ish minutes went by in the operating room. I woke up on a ventilator which I wasn't expecting, and naturally being mostly out of it, I came up swinging and trying to pull the tube. I have a vague memory of gagging on the tube down my throat in recovery and my hubby tells me they had to sedate me to keep me from pulling everything out. I also have a vague memory of being wheeled into my room and very painfully scootching over to the bed. The rest of the day was spent in and out of a morphine induced haze.

Day two in the hospital went by a little better, although I have a really hard time sleeping on my back. I'm a side sleeper and rolling to my side just wasn't going to happen. For some reason I had an aversion to pumping myself full of morphine. I do have a high pain tolerance, and so often the nurses had to keep coming in and reminding me to push the button on the pca pump (patient controlled analgesia for those who didn't know). I didn't like the idea of pumping myself full of morphine and sleeping the day away when I knew I needed to be up and walking. Luckily, they took out the foley catheter so I could pee on my own that day too.

Day three was the best day. I'd finally found a comfortable position to sleep in and slept soundly the whole night. I woke up at 4am, raring to go. My poor husband, who was sleeping in a lounge chair next to me, was forced awake to help me walk and shower. I got to drink a cup of grape juice that day and it tasted like heaven! It took me several hours to get it all down, but it was the best thing I'd tasted all week. They took away the pca pump and put this patch on my shoulder that released a painkiller for 72 hours. I felt it was too strong and made me woozy so I asked them to take it off. Liquid tylenol was doing the job for me during the day and I took the narcotic painkiller at night to sleep better. This was also discharge day. They gave all the bariatric patients a small class on post discharge eating and home wound care before a more individualized discharge that covered my meds and my follow up appt with Dr. Warnock. Then it was off to the Rathegeber hospitality house across the street from the hospital. I had to stay one day there because I am from out of town (about an hour away in the next state) and Dr. Warnock wanted me close by in case there were any complications. It was an uncomfortable night, because I couldn't lay flat on the bed so I slept on the small loveseat thing next to the bed in a semi sitting position. Otherwise it is a wonderful place and I was very well treated there.

Day four, I am home. What a relief! I went to Big Lots a few days before surgery and bought a recliner on sale for $199. Best investment I could have made, because it is sooooo comfortable to sleep in. Unfortunately my cats think so too and I have to retrain them not to sleep on my belly. They spent the night curled up in the space between my legs and the dog slept on the floor beside the chair. My husband slept on the couch. It's a family affair lol  So far, I feel pretty good, all things considered. I have no nausea or vomiting,  a little diarrhea (sorry tmi), not as much pain as I thought I would. I'm very much looking forward to my future now

Well the big day is almost here, and I'm pretty anxious to get it over with now. Could it be that I'm STARVING on this liquid diet? Could it be that I'm utterly tired of being hungry 24/7 since starting this liquid diet? YEP! I'm not nervous or scared or even worried. I just want it done hehe.

I drank my bottle of Mag Citrate today....BLECH! Even cold it tasted nasty and I could taste it in my mouth for a good hour after. Not only is it working on the intestines, it's making me nauseous so that I don't even want to drink my protein shakes or even water for that matter.

Reading the posts in the RNY forum and my surgery page is what has kept me sane this past week, I love all the people that I've met on here...and the ones I haven't met. A big hug and thank you to all of you who so kindly share your experiences over and over again for all the new folks that come in each day and us old lurkers who have been here a long time but are shy and don't post much

I want to thank those who sent messages and prayers, they all helped! I went for the angiogram yesterday (an experience I don't care to repeat) but it turned out I don't have any blockages and my heart is fine. WHEW what a relief! I had some really bad moments there, especially in regards to my husband. He is younger than me by quite a few years and I was feeling awful for burdening him with the poor health of an old fat lady. We spent a lot of time talking it through, and we're stronger than ever now. Then the good news that the angiogram was clear just made everything better  I'm still feeling a little woozy from the drugs they gave me but all in all, I'm not a basket case and feeling good hehe  Thanks everyone for the kind words and prayers