Doranna S.

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On yesterday (Friday, 8/17/07) I hit the 239 mark, which was one of my personal mini-goals!  Actually, the scale read 239.5 yesterday morning and 238.5 this AM!  Yep, I weighed myself today.  As a matter of fact, I weigh daily as my doctor has suggested.  That is at least ONE thing that I can stick to.  I know, some people don't approve of this "daily" practice, but guess what??  It's MY journey.  Whew!  I said it; I finally stood up for myself and said what was on my mind.  I'm "running" my race the way I see fit.  Remember this:  you will have SOOOO many people who think they know what's best for you.  SOOOO many people who want to tell you what you should or should not be doing.  Granted, some things are standard across the board concerning nutrition -- it is a GOOD thing to have someone help you along the way.  But as for other things, it is YOUR choice on how YOU want to run YOUR race!  If you wanna weigh daily -- do it!  If you want to update your ticker daily -- then DO it!  If you want to blog daily or everytime you lose 1/10 of a pound -- do it!  It is your race:  RUN, RUN, RUN...and enjoy it!  You deserve it.  My goal now is to continue to meet the challenge of losing 80lbs total by September 4, which would put me at 231lbs.  Following that (if it doesn't occur as part of me meeting my challenge), the goal is 229.  So, at my current weight of 238.5, I have 7.5 lbs to lose by September 4.

Anyone who really knows me know that I like friendly competition.  So, a WLS friend of mine issued me a challenge to have lost 80lbs by the next support group meeting which is September 4.  This challenge was issued two days ago (Saturday, 8/11/07).  As of yesterday, my weight was 242.5, which means that I have 11.5 lbs to go in order to meet the challenge.  Can I do it?  We shall see!  Also, look out HB cause I'm gunning for your clothes!  Yes, today I tried on some of my Hubby's jeans and they fit!  I could actually wear them out the house on a "fast-tail gal'" kinda day!  Also, ALSO, I was able to wear a pair of my thrift store jeans that I could not fit before.  I mean, I was able to get them up over my butt when I bought them, but I could not get the two sides to meet up in the middle.  No way!  They wouldn't even wave at one another!  So, imagine my surprise when the sides came together, the zipper zipped, and the button buttoned!!  OMG!  I just remembered:  I bought a pair of Levi jeans a size larger than HB's!!  If I want to get any use out of them, I'd better snip those tags and wear those babies NOW!  Like, everyday this week!  LOL  I just wanted to mention that there is a lady at my church ("W") who had gastric bypass surgery in 2000!  She is maintaining and was very encouraging to me on yesterday.  I can't believe it was that long ago.  I remember being amazed at her progress.  She is beautiful both inside and out.

...MAKE THIS FEELING PASS, I'LL NEVER, EVER, DO IT AGAIN!!  Yesterday, HoneyBunny had a bone marrow biopsy and all went well with him.  Afterwards, we decided to go out to eat.  We went to a family restaurant (J N Michael's) and ordered breakfast around Noonish. (By the way, this was after my excursion to the thrift store--I thought HB put me on lockdown??  LOL)  So, I ordered one egg with cheese with a slice of ham.  It came with toast (wheat) and hash browns.  Wellllll, they must've went out and found the HUGEST hen in the world--I asked the waitress, "Is this ONE egg??".  So, I start with the eggs, a taste of 'tatoes, a bit o' ham.  Repeat.  Repeat.  I said to HB, "I feel alright!  I don't feel like I've had surgery.  Well, other than the incision and soreness...".  So, what do I do?  Repeat:  eggs, 'tatoes, ham...then a bit o' toast.  Repeat!!  SIP OF ICED TEA!  Sit, rest, then...OMG!  OMG!  Wha..what's going on?  When I looked at my plate, I'd eaten approximately half of everything, including the bread!  The pressure was indescribable...I felt like my pouch would burst at any moment.  I was so miserable that I wanted to cry, cry, cry!  OH GOD, IF YOU'D JUST, PLEASE, MAKE THIS FEELING PASS, I WON'T EVER "TEST" THIS SURGERY AGAIN!!  Yes, girl, you had surgery.  As Bunny (bunnysbrown) would say, "I told you, Roger:  GBS is permanent.  You tiger now!"  Yeah, yeah, I know girl, throw it in my face--we both "tiger" now!  (Note to self:  tell Bunny we watch WAAYY too much tv...LOLOLOL)  P.S.  Ate the leftovers the next day and felt sick again.  Bunny says it may be due to eating leftover eggs (I know, yuk!) or the Sennokot laxative that I took this morning.  AND, I finally went over to the fitness center and did a mile on the treadmill (speed 3.0).  Also did a little weight training on arms and legs.  BTW, today's weight:  still holding at 244.5.

Thanks to Tricie (Tricie40), I found my way to another bounty of thrifty treats (tongue twister!).  Earlier this week--Tuesday--I found my way to 26th & Chicago Road to a huge assortment of gently worn clothing/used furnishings/etc.  I was like a kid in a candy store!  You see, my hubby had two MRI's scheduled for that day and I went with him.  Well, when the tech called his name, I asked her if he would be coming back out to the waiting room between procedures.  No?  Well, "I'll be back".  So, I took a little time for self and slipped over to the thrift store.  Needless to say, I'm supposed to be "banned"  from shopping for a while.  Yeah, right!

Not much happening lately -- just been really tired.  Last Friday I found myself back at the thrift store in my area.  They actually had 50% off all clothings items.  So I walked outta there with 7 pairs of jeans/overalls (I love overalls) for $11.85.  All in all, between my two trips thus far to the local thrift store, I've picked up some CK's, GV's, BB's, Old Navy's -- just to name a few.  Oh, I've always, ALWAYS wanted some TH's (you know, Tommy Hilfigers) and actually bought a pair!  Now my Calvin's and my Tommy's are in anticipation of the day I'm able to fit a size 12!  Otherwise, my jeans are in sizes that are soon to come.  Tricie40 made mention of a thrift store on 26th street and I'm waiting for her to let me know exactly where it is.  Other than buying a few new pieces here and there, thrift shopping will become a way of clothing myself until I reach goal weight.  Hecks, I may be so good at it by then that I'll just keep on being "thrifty"!  lol  You know, you can even find clothing with the tags still on and clothing in mint condition--not to mention designer labels!  I really need to find me some "new" clothes for church.  I'll make a quick run tomorrow OR...maybe there are some things that belonged to my mother in law that I can wear now.  She bought nice suits and was a shoe/purse-a-holic!  She had small feet, so I know I can't wear the shoes, but, since her passing, we've held on to her clothes in anticipation of the day when I would be able to wear them.  You see, she died last September but I knew that one day I would have this surgery.  She would want her clothing to be appreciated and I'll do just that.

Okay, that's from the cut "Dancin' Machine" by the Jackson Five, or was the group's name Jackson Fives with an "s" on the end?  Well, anyway, my scale is mooovin' again!  Granted, not fast, but it's in the right direction and that's all that matters.  Not only is the scale moving, but I'm moving more.  Instead of going for a walk only once a day, I've incorporated a second walk along my regular route into my routine beginning this past Monday (7/23/07).  It's time that I increase my daily activities and I really need to just give in and go on over to the clubhouse to use the fitness equipment.  Basically, I need to do exactly what I'm supposed to do and let the weight take care of itself.  Eat right, exercise and in time I'll be where I need to be.  No more comparisons to the "speed" of other folks' journeys, right Bunny??  Yep, Bunny (my bud, Bunnysbrown) be on a Sista' about the comparison thang.  Everybody is different!!  Even though she had surgery after me, she has a lot of wisdom concerning this journey.  She helps me stay focused (well, of course the Good Lord is behind it ALL and He sees fit to use her in this manner).  I'm doing really well with the protein drinks now and I'm enjoying the use of fitday.com to track my food and activities.  Did I mention I bought a George Foreman Grill last Friday?  Well, I grilled a turkey burger on it today, my first time using it.  I really enjoyed the burger, well, the 1/2 burger (no bread, just a little spicy brown mustard and less-than-a-tablespoon of homemade potato salad).  I know I'm jumping all around here, but I just wanted to play a little catch-up.  So, back to Monday (7/23):  I went to the new thrift shop in my area and found quite a few things that I liked.  I even picked up a few things for the Hubby.  The bad thing:  Everything I bought for myself is too small; I guess I was so focused on my next size down that I neglected to take care of my current-size needs!  I meant to pick up maybe one item in the smaller size, but I guess I just zoned out while I was shopping--I was in that fantasy place that I go to in my mind, imagining myself as a smaller, healthier person.  So I'm home now and I pull everything out the bags to rewash but decide to try them on first.  I grab the one pair of jeans that I remember being a size 16, just to see how far up I could pull them.  Okay, fine, they don't fit but I expect this.  I grab the next pair and the next and I'm like, what's REALLY going on??  Anyway, I'll wear them one day soon!  Also Monday, I started incorporating B1 into my daily vitamin regimen.  I just CANNOT crush it for the six months like my surgeon wants me to.  It's just TOO NASTY!!!!  Another thing:  my hair is thinning so bad that I'm doing comb-overs like Donald Trump or somebody!  Okay, not THAT bad, but noticeable.  Me thinks it's time to invest in WIGS!!  Now on to yesterday (7/24):  A WOW MOMENT.  I was in Victoria's Secret checking out fragrances.  The Sales Person, of course, was trying to sell me the store, including all the panties.  For some reason, she seemed to enjoy saying "PANTIES".  Anyway, I told her that her store carried no underwear that would fit on my body and that I was just interested in the body sprays.  She was like, what???, we carry x-tra large and you can fit an x-tra large or large.  I looked at my Hubbby with this huge grin and he understood why (my WOW moment).  Anyway, either sister-girl was desperate to sell some PANTIES or I really looked that "small" to her.  I have never, ever bought undies from The Secret as I've never known them to carry 3X.  But, WOW, I didn't appear to be a 3X to her....so why do I still see a 3X when I pass by a mirror or a store window??  I mean, I was checkin' me out yesterday when me & Hubby went to the mall after his doc's appt.  I still see ME.  All of me.  Sure, I have my moments when I say, ooh--I see a difference!  But most of the time...well...I see the Pre-Op me.  Well, I gotta go walking now before it...well I'lll be, the sun is coming out!  I was going to say "before it rains".  Anyway, gotta run....

I am experiencing those "I don't really see a difference" moments.  You know, when you look in the mirror and see the same body that you had before weightloss surgery??  And these ache-y--break-y knees!!  OMG!  I thought the pain was gone!  Well, I received a bit of confirmation that the pounds are, indeed, shedding.  On Friday, 7/20/07, I returned home from Wal-Mart to discover that I'd lost my engagement ring.  Yes, indeed--it slipped right off my finger -- SOMEWHERE -- without me even feeling it.  Proof that the body is shrinking, but I know there could've been a better way...  Well, my girlfriend Tonya was like, "Not the big one???"  I actually wear (USED to wear) three rings on one finger, as a set, so to speak.  The ring to which she referred was actually a gift from my Hubby after we'd been married a few years.  So, no, I didn't lose the big one.  The one I lost has far more sentimental value than that.  I'm hurt, but I know I can't change the facts.  True, the ring is gone but the sentiments will remain in my heart forever.  BTW, today's weight (7/21/07) is 249.5.  My next goal is 239.

Today is my 41st bday.  I have a choice of going to breakfast or going to Wal-Mart Superstore.  Hmmmm....I choose WAL-MART!  BTW, I can now ZIP and BUTTON that second pair of Capri's that I bought last week.  YAAYYYY PROTEIN!!  Okay, now I need just a little extra breathing room and we're good 2 go!  I'm gonna buy a pair of Levi's today from Wal-Mart.  Yep, been on the website and just learned that they sell LEVI's!  I guess I've been in a cave.  Anyway, haven't worn Levi's since high school and vowed never to wear them again once I went over a certain size.  That was THEN!!  And as always in closing, WEARING SMALLER CLOTHES IS A SIDE EFFECT OF LOSING WEIGHT; ADDING YEARS TO ONE'S LIFE IS THE MAIN GOAL!! Okay, gotta go 2 Wal-Mart!

Well, after being a little discouraged with the current pace of my weightloss, I took a little trip to the local Wal-Mart on Tuesday, July 10, 2007,  (as a matter of fact I went to a different Wal-Mart today, July 12 [discovered the FOOD MART!] and spent WAAYYYY too much on groceries--grocery shopping is my new addiction--depressing).  Anyway, I was able to fit into a size 18 Lee jeans two days ago!  This is the first item of clothing purchased since surgery.  Granted, they have some "stretch" in them, but I can actually wear them!!  Before surgery, I'd outgrown my size 24's and just started wearing size 52's in men's jeans.  I'd been shopping with my friend Tonya when I saw a pair of men's Rocawear's for cheap and said, hey, I KNOW I could fit these!  So from there, I started wearing the huge jeans, tied up by a long scarf or held up by hubby's suspenders.  Anyway, I said all that to say that I know I was at least a size 26 or more and now I can wear some 18's, definitely no more than size 20's!  I bought another pair of size 18 capri-like pants.  They aren't stretchy so I need to lose a few more pounds before I can ZIP and wear them comfortably!!  ALSO, as of JULY 11, I started back on track with my protein shakes.  I do so much better with using WATER instead of SKIM MILK!  So I am doing two shakes a day.  I'll let you know if the scale starts to move again.  That's what I've been told would happen so I'll just wait and see.  One more thing:  being able to wear smaller sizes is just one of the extra benefits of losing weight--NOT THE MAIN FOCUS!  MY JOURNEY IS ONE TOWARDS BETTER HEALTH AND A SHOT AT A LONGER LIFE.

P. S.  Just wanted to document here that my first meal "out" was at Old Country Buffet.  I did well and even "Miss Missy" was just fine!  No problems whatsover.  Because I was with a group of people for the first time, however, I was a little nervous.  I believe this was on June 21 or the 28th, 2007.  Of course, Hubby was there to regulate things and I knew everything would be just fine.

Okay, so I had written a blog about not being able to really do the protein shakes, and how I'd made these slammin' turkey tacos last Saturday.  Now I realize that, when I put a "plug" in for my Anniversary last Saturday, I overwrote my blog.  Anyway, the tacos were delish and hubby "grunted" his appreciation throughout the entire meal.  I am trying to "eat" my protein, but that's not an easy task when "Missy" (as in "Little-Miss-Missy", my pouch) is fussy.  Even if she's not fussy, she can only hold but so much wit' her itty-bitty self!  I just KNOW that I have to get this protein in by any means necessary!  On another topic,  I'm a tad bit disappointed that I'm not able to add music back into my profile yet.  There was a slight problem during OH's last website enhancement.  If I could put music to the message, I would still have "Well, Alright!" by CeCe Winans playing.  TAFN