doreen967

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My post-RNY life has become so natural to me that I sometimes forget that I had the surgery until mealtimes.  I find myself not thinking about it every waking moment like I was just a few short months ago.  By my 6 month anniversary I lost 104 lbs and have dropped from a size 30 to a size 20.  I have so much more energy and am feeling much more comfortable in my own skin. 

In the past every weight loss attempt has been derailed by something in my life.  It didn't have to be something bad, just something that got me off my schedule, away from my focus, a distraction that would eventually end up with me gaining all my weight back and more.  I have had a major life altering event occur this month which has me more certain than ever that without the surgery I would be derailed and on my way back to 372 lbs.  I have found out that I will be laid off my job and will need to sell my house and relocate elsewhere.  My life has been in a tailspin, but my diet and weight have not been affected by it for the 1st time in my life.  That is an amazing realization.  Plus the new smaller self image of myself has given me a big boost in self confidence at interviews, knowing that I will not be viewed as a fat, lazy employee.  As a result I have secured a new job already with a great relocation package that will take most of my stress away.  I can't tell you how sure I am that the situation would be quite different without my RNY.

I officially met another goal this week.  I weigh less than my boyfriend, which has never been the case for our 8 year relationship.  He did make it a little easier by gaining about 10 lbs since my surgery, but I would have caught him soon anyway.  I am concerned that he is gaining weight by eating the food I am not eating these days.  I have talked to him about it but he doesn't seem too concerned.  Men seem to be able to hit the gym and drop weight quickly, but I hope he doesn't ignore the problem and let it get out of control like I did.  All any of can do is try to offer insight, but just as each of us have had our own journey, he will have to have his too.

That's all I have this month!  I need to improve on my exercise, so that will be my goal for next month.  Here's to surpassing my expectations over the next 6 months as well.  What an amazing ride!

It is amazing how the time flies these days.  Last Wednesday was my 5 month anniversary from surgery and I could not be happier.  I have lost 96 lbs total (84 since surgery) which is amazing!  Every day people are commenting on how great I look and say I am like a new person.  I am officially half way to my goal weight of 180 lbs (I am 6’0”) and only 4 lbs away from being in the 100 lb club.  I am now at my lowest weight since my 20’s and it feels incredible.  

 

Beside my weight loss, everything else in my life has been falling apart, so my stress level should be through the roof, but somehow I feel so much better about things and seem to be taking everything in stride nowadays.   I am certain the weight loss has a lot to do with that.  Even if everything in my life falls to pieces, somehow I feel like it is God’s way of saying, new you…time to start a new life.  I will be fine!

 

I had to break down and buy a few outfits a few weeks ago.  My mom got tired of seeing me with all my clothes sagging on me and she took me shopping.  I am going to the Outer Banks in a few months and need a new swim suit.  I normally dread shopping for swim suits because I always hate everything at I leave feeling nothing less than nauseated.  I grabbed 2 suits in size 20 thinking they would be tight (I started off at 30/32 before surgery) and when I tried them on I was shocked that they fit, and actually looked pretty good.  I was so happy I bought them both since they were half off.  As far as pants and tops, I am wearing size 20 or 22 depending on the brand.  Since I thought I was in 24s, it was a really great shopping day.  I have a mountain of clothes to bring to Goodwill and my closet is getting more and more empty.  I have gone from not having anything to fit because everything is too small to the same problem because everything is too big.

 

I went to the surgeon for my follow up a few weeks ago.  All my labs looked really good except for my Vitamin D which was a little low.  I was low on Vit D before the surgery, so this was no shock.  I have added over the counter Vitamin D to my daily vitamins and kept everything else the same.  I have also switched from chewables to pills last a few weeks ago, which has been an adjustment.  They are much less expensive but you have to take them more frequently and getting so many pills into my little pouch 1^st thing in the morning has been uncomfortable at times.

 

I am still struggling with pains in my tummy at times when it is empty, but the carafate seems to help.  I was trying to just eat a small high protein snack instead when it started hurting, but the pain would come back a little while later.  I hope I am not going to end up with an ulcer.  Hopefully the carafate will prevent that from happening.  When the pain gets bad, I get back on the normal dosing schedule, and it seems to get better in a day or two.  Then I just go back to taking it only as needed.  I will discuss this again with the surgeon next time I see him in October.

 

Other than the occasional tummy pain, I have had no other issues whatsoever.  I still feel that weight loss surgery is the best thing I could have done for myself and I have no regrets.  I am getting more and more of my life back with each pound lost and unless you have lost out on as much life as many of us have, I don’t know if anyone else could ever completely understand how much that is worth.  I can’t wait to see where I am at after 1 year.  This is incredible!!

Before my surgery I was overcome by the fear that I may never again be able to participate in holidays and festivities in the same way if I could not participate in the feeding frenzy that normally accompanied these events with my family and friends.  Sunday was my 4 month anniversary from my date of surgery, and I have to admit, it almost went by without me even noticing.  I was so busy planning my 4^th of July cookout for friends that it did not even enter my mind, which is really incredible since for the 1^st few months all I could do was focus on my surgery, my diet and the scale.  For the 1st time since surgery, I planned my menu as I normally would in the past with chicken kabobs, bratwurst, pasta salad, fruit salad, deviled eggs, pepperoni pizza puffs and hummingbird cupcakes.  Not entirely WLS friendly, but to my suprise, I was not tempted by the foods that were bad for me.  In fact, I did not miss them at all!  I did have plenty options to eat and I never felt left out in the least.  I ate a small chicken kabob, a deviled egg and a tiny bite of the salads.  I have realized that I enjoy cooking now more than actually eating, and get more enjoyment watching others enjoy meals I prepare for them. Crazy, hua?  My eating habits have become more natural now and I don’t find myself sitting looking at menus longing for the days I could eat ½ of a large pizza at one sitting.  I don’t miss gorging myself with potato chips and soda while lounging around watching TV and don’t even miss the large tub of popcorn at the movie theater. I am so much happier being in the theater fitting comfortably in my seat, being able to sit in my living room and get off the couch with much less effort, and fitting easily into any seat in any restaurant.

 

Though my weight loss has slowed quite a bit, it is still coming off steadily.  I am down 82 lbs total, 70 lbs since my surgery 4 months ago.  I am in the smallest sizes of clothes I have in my closet and will need to buy more once these are too big.  I figure I can stretch it for about another couple of months.  The pile of clothes for Goodwill is growing larger every day and I am trying to decide whether I want to keep an old pair of jeans to remind me where I came from, but part of me wants to just get rid of it all and never look back.  I go for my next follow up with the doctor in 2 weeks, and I am looking forward to seeing my nutrition levels.  For the most part I am feeling pretty good.  I did have an issue a few weeks ago when I decided to walk a 5K with people at work for the 1^st time.  I felt fine during the walk, though it was rather hot.  Once I finished and sat down for a few minutes and when I stood up again, my vision went completely blurry and I got a little dizzy.  I spoke with the nurse at work and was told that is was more than likely low blood sugar.  I ate a small breakfast, but it is possible that the tiny amount of food I ate was not enough to sustain me through a walk that was a bit more than I have been accustomed to.  Next time I will drink a protein shake as well before doing something like that.  Every now and then I will stand up and get a little dizzy but it passes quickly.  I am not entirely sure if my blood sugar is getting a bit low, if my blood pressure is a little low, or if  I am somehow vitamin deficient.  I will talk to my doctor about it when I see him.  Other than that I feel great!

 

I am beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and I cannot tell you how incredible that feels.  I went swimming in a friends pool with friends without being mortified of letting them see me in a bathing suit, I can sit with my legs crossed again, I don’t feel morbidly obese anymore and don’t feel people looking at me with disgust, I am learning to accept compliments on my appearance and even enjoy putting on clothes without getting frustrated with how they fit.  What a difference 4 months has made.  The best way I can describe it is that the old me is beginning to come more into focus.  It has affected my body, my mind and my spirit; and it is noticeable to everyone around me.  My RNY has done so much more than move the scale in the right direction.  My brother said it best a few weeks ago when he called my mom to tell her that he loves his "new" sister.  Not just the weight loss, but the new person I am becoming from the inside out.  I guess I never realized how much I had changed over the years as a result of my weight gain.  All this excess weight has has been suffocating me both physically and emotionally.  I have come to realize that missed the real me.  I nearly forgot who she was!  Being held hostage by the severly overweight and overly cautious me I created over the years, who was designed to not draw attention to myself to avoid being hurt or embarrased.  That person is slowly being pushed aside to let the girl I once was back in to run the show. All this time I had convinced myself that my weight was only a physical limitation, boy was I wrong.  It's like I not only had WLS but also brain surgery in a way.  Now that was something I didn't count on, but it has been one awesome side effect!

 

Summer is right around the corner, and I am actually really looking forward to getting out and being active for the 1^st time in years!  Friday was my 3 month anniversary from my surgery date.  Though my overall weight loss is right on schedule, my weight loss seems to be going in spurts these days.  I may go a week without loosing anything, then all the sudden 4 or 5 lbs will drop away.  I have been hovering around 305 lbs for the last week, which has been really frustrating since I am dying to get below the 300 lb mark.  Maybe in the next week or so. It will be fun to check off my first goal and move on to the next, which will be weighing less than my boyfriend!  My total weight loss has been 67 lbs, with 55 lbs lost after surgery.  Who can complain about those numbers?   

I am still trying to walk at least 45 minutes most days, though I have been slacking off on the weekends and even some weekdays.  I really need to step up my exercise and have not done that yet.  This may be contributing to my frequent stalls, I don’t really know.  Regardless, this is something I need to get on top of soon. I still seem to come up with excuses why I don’t have the time, which really makes no sense.  I need to remember why I decided to get this surgery in the 1^st place.  I wanted to regain my active lifestyle, so I need to get off my ass and get started. I have options whether the weather is nice or not, whether I exercise at home or out and whether I work out in the morning, lunch or after work.  I need to put my need to be active ahead of everything else, but I still seem to fall short sometime, this is something I really need to focus on this month.  

My diet has expanded to include more varieties of food, including salads and more carbs than before.  I am eating about ½ cup at each meal and am still trying to get everything I need in 3 meals a day, but sometimes I fall a little short on my protein.  I have a protein shake on the days I am low and try not to snack, but when I do, I try to keep it low carb. My diet has become more natural to me now and less of an effort.  Eating slowly is still something I have to work on even though I have gotten much better about chewing my food well.  I have been eating out more often and I need to stop that.  Whenever I plan my menu out ahead of time and stick to it, I tend to eat at home and healthier.  I would suggest this to anyone who is having trouble with meal planning.  If I plan a weeks menu at a time, shop for only food I need for my weekly meals and know what is for dinner each day, I am much less likely to buy junk on impulse,  forget to defrost meat for dinner, realize I am missing something to prepare the meal I planned or just get too lazy to cook and go out to eat.    

I have seen several members of my family over the past few weeks that have not seen me since surgery, and they were amazed at how much I have lost. Some even went as far as to say I was like a different person. Not just because I was smaller, but they said I have so much more energy, seemed to be much happier (they even said glowing), and more comfortable in my own skin. I defiantly feel all those things, but I did not expect it was so apparent to others. People who don’t even know I had surgery have been approaching me to ask what I am doing to loose weight. One coworker commented that all that walking I have been doing at lunch must really be working for me. I had to come clean with her and tell her I had a “little help”.  To tell you the truth, I enjoy telling people about my experience and like to be an example of how weight loss surgery can work if you are willing to follow the plan. With all the horror stories out there, it is nice to show some of these people that you can have a great life after surgery. In fact, your life can be even better when you are not a slave to food and limited by your excess weight. This defiantly ranks up there with one of the best decisions I have made in my life.  No regrets at this point, and I am looking forward to enjoying even more of my life in the future.

It is hard to believe that today is my 2 month anniversary from surgery.  While the first month dragged on and on, since I have returned to work, the days have just flew by. I had my 6 week follow up with the surgeon 2 weeks ago.  I had started to have some fairly intense stomach pains whenever my pouch was empty a few days before my appointment.  When they first started I thought it was gas and tried to take Gas X chewables, but only experienced minimal relief.  After meeting with the doctor, he said he was fairly confident that it was just my stomach being hyper sensitive to the stomach acid when nothing was in my pouch, and said I should try some Maalox or Mylanta.  After trying it for a couple days, I found that I had relief, but that it quickly returned after an hour or so.  My doctor then called me in a prescription for carafate, an anti-ulcer medication that I took for 1 month after surgery.  After a day of taking the carafate, the stomach pains have stopped completely.  I will have to periodically stop taking it and see if the pains come back, but for now I am happy to be pain free once again.  The surgeon said I am to healthy to be hanging around the doctors office, so don't have to go back for 3 months.  We will do blood tests at that point to be sure my levels are looking good.  

I have moved into the maintenance diet, which consists of 3 meals a day.  Snacking between meals is to be avoided. At this point, I am supposed to introduce new foods one at a time and eat between ¼ and ½ cup of food per meal.  Depending on what I am eating, I can usually eat about 1/3 cup before I get full.  I can eat more when I eat very soft foods like yogurt or soup or thin chili and can only eat about ¼ cup if I eat a solid piece of meat like chicken, pork or steak.  I still have yet to run into any problem with anything I have tried to eat and have come to the conclusion that I have a very accommodating pouch.  Bread, rice, crackers, meats, dairy, vegetables, spicy foods…anything I have tried to eat has been fine as long as I chew well and don’t eat too fast. I cooked a huge Easter feast complete with desserts. I was able to eat a small bite of everything and did not feel left out at all.  I made a hummingbird cake with cream cheese frosting. While I was icing the cake, I got a good amount of icing on my finger and without even thinking I popped my finger in my mouth. All the sudden I realized what I did and thought, oh crap! I am going to dump. I sat down and waited for it to start.  I waited and waited and nothing.  I haven’t even tried to eat anything with any significant amount of sugar since the surgery, so this was my first experience that I thought may cause me to dump.  Since I was fine I assume either I don’t dump or I just did not have enough to cause it.  I suspect that since my pouch has been so corporative with everything else, I probably don’t.  I am not a big sweet eater so this is not a big deal to me and I would rather not dump so I don’t get caught off guard if I eat something with hidden sugar.  I had no desire to eat any of the cake, but I wouldn’t have even before the surgery.  Sugar has never really been my problem. If only I could dump on potato chips and fried foods, then we would be in business!  

My weight loss to date is right about 50 lbs. It has slowed down quite a bit, but I know that is to be expected.  I actually stalled for about 10 days, which was kind of frustrating, but I tried not to let it get to me.  I also had my period over the last part of that time, so that may have something to do with it.  I was up 4 pounds at one point, then dropped 5 pounds overnight.  As of Sunday, I seem to have finally started to go down again.  Another factor that may have contributed to my stall is that since I have gotten busy again, I find that I will forget to eat and drink when I get off my schedule.  There have been many days over the past 2 weeks that I know I have been low on protein, calories and water.  I may have thrown my body into starvation mode as a result.  So, as of this week I have made it a point to focus on getting back on track with eating and drinking and making sure I get a protein shake in every day.  I think it has helped because the scale has started moving again. I don’t get hungry so skipping meals is too easy to do when I am distracted.  I do better during the week when I am on a regular schedule, but the weekends are harder.  I sleep later, so I eat breakfast later. I sometimes forget to take my vitamins on weekends.  I will totally forget lunch if I eat breakfast late and get busy.  We tend to eat out with friends often on the weekends, so my meals are not as healthy as when I eat home during the week. I forget to take water with me when I run out the door and since I can’t drink during meals, I don’t drink anything at restaurants.  All combined it is just asking for trouble, so I need to make a better effort to focus on my needs and not get caught up in my activities.  

All things considered, I am very happy with my progress so far. My life is still the same, I can still do everything I enjoyed doing before surgery, only the way I eat has changed.  I feel great. I am getting into clothes I haven’t been able to wear for many years and people are starting to really notice.  I can’t tell you how fun it is to go through my closet and try on pretty clothes that haven’t fit into for years and look good in them again.  I have started weeding out the clothes that are too big to go to Goodwill.  I am very tall and can only wear tall pants so maybe someone at Goodwill will be happy to find them.  I can’t wait to see where I am 6 months out. I have a feeling the really fun part is just beginning!

Things have been settling down and my new diet has started to feel more normal than like a burden.  I start the maintenance diet on Friday, which means I can eat up to ½ cup of food at meals - 3 meals a day.  I have been logging all my meals on the nutrition tracker to keep up with my protein.  It really has been helpful! I really have not had any issues with anything I have been eating, and I have a very varied menu since I have started soft foods.  Chicken, fish, beef, pork, eggs, cheese, soft veggies, beans, fruit, everything I have tried has gone down easily with thorough chewing.  I don’t know if I dump yet. I don’t really think I have tried anything with enough sugar to make me dump, and I don’t want to try it either.  I guess I will just figure it out in time. 

I have still been following the doctor’s orders to the letter, no cheating with the types of food I am eating and no snacking between meals.  I am walking 30 minutes most days and plan on doing more exercise once the doctor clears me at my appointment next week.  My incisions are healing nicely and I doubt I will have much scarring at all. Since surgery, I have lost 34 lbs and a total of 46 lbs since the pre-surgery diet.  Not bad for a little over 5 weeks. 

My stamina has been increasing, though I can really feel it if I am late on a meal.  My calories are still really low, ranging from 400-600 a day, most of that coming from the protein shake I have once a day.  My protein has been 50-55 g a day, and my target is a minimum of 40, so I am doing really well with that.  Once I start maintenance on Friday, I should have no problem meeting my protein target of at least 60 g. 

I guess the biggest news is that there is no big news on my end, and that is the best news of all.  Hopefully I will continue with the slow but steady weight loss and no major issues.  I was asked today by a co-worker if I had any regrets about getting the surgery, and at this point I would have to say no.  Hopefully my answer will be the same in 6 months. 

Today is my official one month anniversary from my surgery!  I have a lot to celebrate.  As of today I have lost 28 lbs since my surgery and 40 lbs total since the start of my pre-surgery diet.  I have been back to work since last week, but I was only cleared to work half days until I met with the on site physician (who is also my primary care physician) this week.  I met with her this morning and she was so exited to see me and to see how well I was doing.  It was really cool to see her bouncing around in excitement for me and for how far I have come already.  

First off I should explain, this is the doctor who first talked to me about bariatric surgery years ago and has been my biggest supporter from day one.   She herself had RNY surgery a few years ago and lost over 150 lbs in the process and has been successful in keeping it off since that time.  She has been an incredible support to me through this whole process, going well beyond a doctor patient relationship with her complete openness about her experiences and what I can expect.  I cannot thank her more for her help and support.   

The best news off all is that she says I do not have to go back on any the medications I was on before surgery.  At one point I was on 2 blood pressure pills twice a day, metformin for diabetes and crestor for high cholesterol.  Since surgery, I stopped those meds, but was taking 2 anti-ulcer meds and a blood thinner.  As of today, I am off everything. The only thing I am taking now is my multi vitamins, calcium and iron.  What a fantastic trade off! My blood sugars have normalized and my blood pressure is quickly dropping to normal levels.  I feel like my shackles have been removed. I am ecstatic!  Plus, my knee pain has decreased drastically in the past month as has the swelling in my feet and ankles as well as my back pain.  

I am fitting into clothes I have not been able to wear for over 2 years and even my shoes are fitting better.  I am enjoying my soft foods, and do not feel like I am too restricted at this point.  As a bonus, my fiancé has lost 12 lbs along with me by eating what I am eating, just larger portions.  So life is good, and this is only one month out.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds. 

Happy!  That is the best word I can use to describe how I am feeling this week.  Happy to have progressed to soft foods.  Happy that I am still free of any problems with my new pouch.  Happy that I can be active for hours without getting tired.  Happy to be getting out and doing more things.  Happy that my fiancé is enjoying my soft food meals as much as I am.  Happy that friends and family are starting to notice my weight loss.  Happy that I will be returning to work on Tuesday.  What can I say, I am truly thankful to be  where I am and to be progressing so well.

I did a lot of research and planning last week to start the soft foods stage, and I am pleased to report that it really has paid off.  So far, my meals - which my fiance has been eating with me - included:

Friday:
Breakfast:  Huevos Rancheros
Lunch:  Refried Beans and Cheese w/Taco Sauce
Dinner:  Mushroom and Cheddar Frittata

Saturday:
Breakfast:  Crab Stuffed Deviled Eggs
Lunch:  Ricotta w/Marinara Sauce
Dinner:  Crock Pot Chicken Chili w/Beans

Sunday:
Breakfast:  Greek Yogurt
Lunch:  Chicken Salad
Sunday:  Crustless Ham and Cheese Quiche

I am eating 1/4 cup at each meal.  Best of all, flavor has returned to my life.  That has been the thing I have missed the most and now feel completely content.  Best of all, we had several friends dropped in last night. and offered them dinner. They raved over how much they loved the chicken chili!  Yeah me!!  That was my whole goal.  To have foods that nobody would suspect were fitting into any special diet and enjoy them.  Success!!!

My activity level as been slowly increasing and I am feeling like I can get back to work now without getting too tired.  I spent 5 hours yesterday morning at a photo shoot and at a Keep Florence Beautiful cleanup event.  Though I was on my feet most of the time, with periods of sitting, I really did not get tired at all.  I brought water and a protein shake along, and really did not feel like I wanted to go home, except that I had to get home for lunch and to take my anti-ulcer meds.  It was a good day and made me feel better about returning to work this week.

My weight loss has slowed and I feel like until I get back to work and increase my activity level to a normal pace this will continue to be the case.  I plan on trying to do my walking over my lunch break and to start doing by Biggest Looser DVDs in the evenings to let Jillian Michaels kick my tail into gear.  Activity is the key to everything.  To loosing weight, to better health, to maintaining weight, to staying young, to feeling good, to everything.  This is what I have learned over the last 20 years of my overweight and underactive  life, and I need to remember this as I continue through my weight loss journey. I now have the tool that will allow me to learn for my mistakes and make new priorities in life.  Not taking advantage of this second chance would be a waste.  A waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of my life.  And I want to live, truly live again, and I promise to myself and to anyone else who cares enough to read this blog that I will never waste my life again!!

Sometimes, as I am sitting here I forget that I had major surgery just over 2 weeks ago.  I have no pain at all, my incisions have all scabbed over and my energy is returning more and more each day.  I am still on full liquids and am looking forward to starting the soft foods diet on Friday. 

I have been searching online for recipes that will fit in with the soft food diet since I will be at this stage for 3 weeks, and it would be nice to be able to cook one meal that my fiancé and I could eat together.  I have been focusing on crock pot recipes, casseroles and foods that can be easily mashed with a fork,  After spending most of the day searching, I have found over 30 yummy recipes that will fit, being sure none contain any rice, pasta, bread or crackers.  I have also focused on high protein and low carb selections that only contain soft vegetables with easily digestible skins. 

I am actually looking forward to this.  For all the preparation I went through with my surgeon and nutritionist prior to surgery, this is one aspect I feel was lacking.  It would be nice to have someone teach you how to cook after surgery.  There are very few cook books available and only a few websites that provide recipes designed for WLS patients. Maybe down the road this is something I could do for others during the pre surgery classes. Something to think about.

For those of you that do not know me, I love to cook.  In fact, I have my own catering company that I started last year just for fun because I enjoy cooking for others so much. I love entertaining and trying new things, so hunting for new ideas in the kitchen is something I have always done; now my focus has just changed.  I will not accept that I cannot enjoy cooking or eating healthy WLS friendly meals, and based on the recipes I have come up with so far, I doubt anyone else would know that these meals were designed to fit any particular diet anyway.

My weight loss has slowed down quite a bit since my last post, which I think would be expected.  I have decided to go by the scale at my doctor’s office since mine seems to bounce around so much, but as far as I can tell I have lost another 3-4 lbs this week.  My next follow up is a month away, so I will not update my ticker until then.

I am walking 30 minutes a day and hope to start using the Wii Fit I got for Christmas as soon as I get my weight down to below its limit.  In the meantime I will start my Biggest Looser workout DVDs in the next week or so.  This will be my biggest challenge.  I have hated exercising since gaining all this weight, but I know it will be essential in getting me where I need to be, so I will have to suck it up and get started. No time for excuses!  Time for a new life and a new me, and I am looking forward to getting to know her.

Well, here I am, 10 days post op and doing great!  I had my first post op visit with the surgeon to have my staples removed today.  My incisions look pretty good, though when the nurse removed my staples, a few of the incisions spread a little bit.  She said it is normal and taped the ones that were still tender.  The staple removal was mostly painless, just a tiny pinching for a few of the tender spots. No big deal.

My official weight loss according to the doctor’s scale is 18 lbs since my surgery and 30 lbs since I started the pre op diet.  Holy Cow!  That is great, though a little scary.  I had no idea the weight would start dropping so fast.  I am still having no issues getting my fluids and protein in.  I have graduated to full liquids and am eating yogurt, pudding, thin mashed potatoes, skim milk and cream soup so far.  I will try to add some oatmeal and maybe some grits this week.  Still no problems eating, but I am not getting the full sensation I expected.  I mentioned this to the doctor and he said that my system is still healing and it may take a month before these normal sensations return.  On the other hand I do not feel hungry either.  My stomach makes noises, but no real sensation of hunger.

Right now my biggest challenge is that I miss tasting real food.  Just the smell of food cooking makes my mouth water.  Though I would never dream of touching anything that is not on my limited list of food I can consume at this point, I am having a hard time getting the idea out of my head at times.  I am sure this has got to be normal.  I mean, all my life I have taken so much enjoyment from eating the foods I love.  Obviously I loved to eat, or I would never have ended up where I am.  I guess it will just take time to adjust, and once my food choices become more varied, I doubt I will feel so restricted and be much happier.  Oh well, nothing I cannot handle!

So I guess I am officially off and running.  I feel so good in fact that I have to remind myself that I still have to heal on the inside and need to take it easy.  I find it easy to overdo it right now.  If I do too much, my body definitely lets me know!  I start to feel a little light headed and queasy and have to sit down.  I guess when you are consuming so few calories; you cannot expect to function at a normal level for long.  Though it is hard, I need to continue to relax and heal.  There will be plenty of time to go, go go.  Right now I need to enjoy this time.  Who knows when I will ever get this much time off work again!