LIZA B.
Where I'm at today
Aug 01, 2014
Hello WLS family, the timing of this update is oh so special. As of tomorrow I will be 13 years post op of RNY. I started my journey at 327lbs and lost 157lbs, including my tummy tuck. That brought me down to 170lbs. About 4 months after my tummy tuck, we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd child. That was a bit of a blow, but I was so gloriously happy with that pregnancy because it was the first pregnancy I had that I wasn't super morbidly obese.
After the pregnancy I had gained about 20lbs and maintained that weight for 6 years. I truly believe my maintenance was due to the support group I founded in Connecticut. I was not only accountable to a few people, I was accountable to over 100 people. It fueled my motivation, and kept me on track. But then we moved to Florida, and I no longer had the support group. Everyone here knew me at the new weight and I could eat whatever without any eyes watching over me. I was no longer accountable.
In the years since moving to Florida, I've gained and lost another 30-40 lbs a couple of times. I even got back down to 190, at one point and was thrilled. Although, once again, I lost track and didn't pay attention. Finally, this past April a cousin of mine decided to have VSG and it opened my eyes to this gift of a tool that I had just been letting sit there, and not picked up. I decided to get on the scale, see how much damage I had done, and start my journey again. I was dreadfully shaken to reality when I got on the scale and saw that I had ballooned up to 254.8 lbs. How could I have let this happened? I remember thinking all the things I had thought of myself prior to my wls. Yet, I somehow mustered up enough courage to say, "no more!"
I was eating way too many carbs, eating Bugles for snacks and have popcorn almost every night. I decided that the only thing I would change was to cut those 2 items out of my diet first. I started in March and the following month I had lost 5lbs. I knew that if I did what I had to do I would lose weight again and it would come off like anyone else. In April I went back to hard core no carb eating, basically following an Atkins type eating lifestyle. I'm ecstatic to say that since March I have lost a total of 30lbs and am now at 224. Still, what seems like a world away of the 170, I had been but I'm doing it. Everyday, one day at a time, sometimes 1 hour at a time, but I'm doing it. I've given myself a goal of losing 52 more pounds by my birthday next August, when I turn 45. And I truly believe I can do it. I have the same motivation, I had when I had my wls, because I've become accountable to people again. I've posted my journey to all my friends/family on facebook, and plan to keep coming back to OH so that I have a place to feel supported.
This Monday I will be taking a 4 day cruise and I'm a little concerned about it, but I've been reading a lot about what one can do when they are cruising. I plan to stay on track, by making better choices and prioritizing what I want to truly try on the ship, verses what I can eat at any other time. Planning and awareness of what I'm eating will be key, and I think I can get through this, and still have a fabulous time.
Thank you all for reading my long post. It's been a long while since I've posted on OH and it feels really good to be back.
Muah! Liza
The Journey WLSSG
Aug 31, 2011
The next meeting of The Journey Weight Loss Surgery Support Group will be on Saturday 9/3/11 @10am.
5582 Jonquil Circle #104
Naples, FL 34109
Please contact Liza Branch for details or directions. 239-330-0467.
The Journey WLSSG
Aug 08, 2011
The Journey WLSSG will be starting again very soon, here in Naples FL. Contact me for details.
239-330-0467
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239-330-0467
Can't get the words out.
May 11, 2011
It's amazing, I've never been at a loss for words, yet today I'm not sure what I want to say. More than likely it's because I have so much that's going through my mind, I can't figure out where to start.
I guess I'll come back later.....stay tuned. =)
That was then, this is now.
May 10, 2011
Hello my wls family, it has been so very long since I last consistently posted on here. Although it is sad to me that it has been so very long, I am renewed by my new sense of committment to this eating lifestyle and look forward to spending much more time on here.
In August, it will be 10 years since my wls. So much has happend in the time that I have been away. Too much to go into at this time. I do not know if anyone even regularly reads these posts anymore, but I will begin posting on here more regularly and hope to be a friend, encourager and guide to anyone who is on this journey. I hope that I may learn from you, as well, although I always did get so much more from you than what I could ever give.
Hope to hear from all of you soon!
Love & Peace,
Liza
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In August, it will be 10 years since my wls. So much has happend in the time that I have been away. Too much to go into at this time. I do not know if anyone even regularly reads these posts anymore, but I will begin posting on here more regularly and hope to be a friend, encourager and guide to anyone who is on this journey. I hope that I may learn from you, as well, although I always did get so much more from you than what I could ever give.
Hope to hear from all of you soon!
Love & Peace,
Liza
08/02 - 05/03
May 10, 2011
WELCOME
TO MY ABDOMINOPLASTY PAGE
This is where the 2nd part of my WLS Journey begins.
August 2, 2002 was my 1 Year anniversary of my RNY (down 132.5lbs then) and it is time to begin the final leg of this journey....getting the excess abdominal skin removed and hernia repaired.
Here goes!!
8/15/02 11:00pm
Let the games begin!! I saw my surgeon, Dr. Valin for my 1 year post-op visit, on August 5th. He was very happy with my results this year. I have officially lost over 131lbs.
We discussed the severity of my rashes, having my hernia repaired finally and having the abdominoplasty done. He checked my belly and felt my hernia. He will be doing an anchor cut, where they cut from breast bone to pubic bone and then from hip to hip. He will stitch my abdominal muscles, as well. This type of cut will cinch my waist, fix the hernia and leave me smooth....that means no more creases for rashes. HOORAY!! He feels he'll be able to take 10 - 12lbs off, just from this surgery. That should put me at almost 180lbs.
Now the insurance wait begins. The office sent in my paperwork, letter from him and all my glorious pictures on 8/6. The insurance company said they can take 1 - 2 months for a predetermination. I pray every night that they give me an answer soon as I'm going nuts already. I have already been scheduled for surgery on September 30th, so I pray that I will hear from them in plenty of time for this.
Wish me luck!!! 8/19/02 8:03pm
Wow! What a weekend! We went to an amusement park for my daughter and my birthday, this weekend. I had a blast....oh and the kids did, too. LOL =) The only bad part was that the young girl at the entrace asked me if I was pregnant....YIKES! It was truly a mistake and she tripped over herself apologising when I said, "No, I'm not pregnant, this is just left overs from losing 132lbs." Poor girl turned every shade of pink and red imaginable.
8/23/02 7:09am
I have some semi-good news about my insurance journey for my TT. I had been hounding my insurance company for a week to find out if they received the paperwork from my surgeon and nothing was coming through. I finally got in touch with an Angel who told me to fax him the paperwork and the pictures. I got the paperwork and pics to him yesterday and he said that I should have a determination in plenty of time for my 9/30 surgery date.
Although, he does not make the determination for approval, he said by looking at the pictures and my letter, I seem to meet all the requirements neccessary and that the insurance company does pay for this surgery if all the conditions apply and that he knows they have paid for this several times. WOO HOO!! He also promised me he would check the system every few days to check and see if there was an approval number in the system. I was so appreciative for all of his extra efforts, I asked to speak to his supervisor so I could compliment and praise his excellent service. I figured that was a nice thing to do....and it will definitely keep me in his mind, too.
5 more weeks and a weekend until the big TT day!! 08/26 11:12 PM
=(
Yes, I have a sad face on, because as of this afternoon I am jobless. Lost my job @ 2:30 today. I was okay, until a little while ago when I realized I have no where to go tomorrow. I'm really scared, as we are a one income family and now that income is gone. I wil be putting in for unemployment tomorrow, but as it was we were living hand to mouth, I can't imagine what we will do now.
I will have to pay $350.00 to keep my insurance going on Cobra. Otherwise I will lose my surgery date. Can you imagine, I use to pay less than that monthly for my whole family. If I were to keep my entire family on the cobra, it would cost almost $1,000!!
Well, I guess as they say "that which does not kill you makes you stronger." 08/29 04:08 PM
HELP, I'VE BEEN DENIED
My Insurer just called me. They approved the hernia (no kidding) but not the panniculectomy!! They said there is an exclusion in the contract. BUT, they did say I can do a secondary appeal. Please, please, please someone tell me what to do, I can't live with this belly and all the complications from it. This is such a crappy week. Lost my job on Monday and now denied for this today. I just want to crawl into a ball. What do I do now, who do I contact, what do I write? They want more proof showing this is medically neccessary and that this is effecting my quality of life. HELP!! 08/30 08:34 AM
You guys are such a source of comfort for me and have rallied around me time and time again.
It is times like these that you realize who your true friends are and who is just a fair weathered friend. There are a few people in my life that I thought would have emailed me or called me over the events of this week, but not one word. Don't take me wrong, I'm NOT upset...actually, very happy that they've given me the oppotunity to see who they really area.
Some people have thought that my getting upset over my denial of my panni was not neccessary, that maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't, but I have every right to my feelings. It's true that compared to other events that can happen in one's life, this may be less important, but right now in my life those other things are not happening. I've had 2 major blows this week and I have every right to own my devastation over my denial.
I don't want to be perfect, I want to look "normal". Currently, I am NOT exaggerating when I state that, I look 7 months pregnant. (Take a peek at my before pics on this profile and you will see.) Yes, as my darling John says, "but you look like such a sexy pregnant woman." I'm happy for that, but still would like to look like a normal 32 year old, not a pregnant 32 year old. This panni is still part of my weight loss journey and is as important mentally and physically as the RNY was to me. Getting rid of my huge belly, will make me look normal, not perfect by any means. It will take away the pain, in my abdomen, I wake up with every morning from my umbilical hernia. It will take away my back pain and these smelly rashes. Mentally it will help me to feel like I've reached my goal and help me to look, again normal. It will allow me to function as a normal woman again.
Isn't that what having this surgery is all about, helping us to feel better and look better. I don't care what anyone says, looking good may be secondary to getting healthy, but it's still on the top of the list. Anyone who says they don't care about looking better is lying to themselves, as well as everyone else.
Okay, I'm done, I'll go back to my "silent suffering," LOL =) 08/30 10:47PM
I have good news and bad news about my panni denial. The good news first. I called to find out what the exact reason for my denial is. It is NOT because they do not consider it medically neccessary (although, I guess that could be next.) Here is the bad news. It is because Per contract this procedure is excluded.
What this means is, my employer excluded this from the contract when they purchased the policy. On a whim I asked the great guy from the insurance company,"what if I got a letter of exception from my company?" He stated that he could not say for sure, but he believed that would make a big difference.
Okay, so now I'm calling, emailing & faxing a letter (w/graphic pics), to my old employer asking them for a letter of exception, based on the fact that this is not a cosmetic procedure, but a medical neccessity and I'm including the letters from my docs and references stating these facts with diagnosis codes.
On another note, I wanted to let you know I thank God everyday for the wonderful people on this site and for the people who make this site possible. I am a strong person and have overcome much in my life, but truly it is you who have lifted me up this time and helped me get off the floor this week, when I was kicked down. You guys are the greatest bunch of people and I pray that God blesses each and everyone of you with the dreams and goals you all very much deserve.
09/15/02 07:21am
Hi Everybody!! Goliath has won! After putting up one heck of a fight, my former employer under no circumstances will pay/approve the abdominoplasty. I finally have decided to give up the fight with them. I trully believe that God has his own plan and if I was meant to have my TT payed by them, then they would have approved me. I did everything I could have done (except hire a lawyer and sue their butts off.) I'm not up to anymore of a fight with them. I woke up very much in peace about this last week.
I still have a couple of other options. My family and I are now on state aid and I will apply for the TT with them. Since, I have a hernia, I know that even if I don't get approved for the TT, the hernia, anesthisiologist and hospital expenses will be paid and I can pay for the TT part out of pocket. So the door is not closed. I will have my TT, just not in my time, in God's time. I think he has plans for me and I shouldn't be fighting against it.
Peace and love to all on this journey. MUAH!! 10/19/02 8:31am
I've been away for a while. I was really depressed about not getting my approval in my time. We had decided to put off the surgery and try to have our third and final baby. Well, after a month of watching my cycle, trying to figure out when I ovulate, making love like crazy and then waiting the 2 weeks to see if I was pregnant.....I'm not.
I had made a decision that if it didn't happen this first attempt, it was a sign to not have a baby right now and continue with my journey to have my TT. This will give me even more time to get into better shape for the day we are ready to finally have our third and final. We know we want one more, just not right now.
I am still unemployed and not sure of what direction I wish to take my career. I've worked in customer service for 15 years and I'm tired of it. I want to work in a field where I can help others. I am sort of doing that with my work with my suppport group I started, but unfortunatley I don't get paid for it.
I'd like to become a midwife, but the training for that will take me forever. So, I'm starting off with trying to become a certified Doula. A woman who supports pregnant women through their pregnancy, labor and postpartum. I'm looking forward to this, but I'm going to have to quit smoking and that scares me. I don't know how ready I am to give that up.
Oh, I forgot, I applied for the TT with my new health insurance. The surgeon has given me a date of 11/7, so hopefully I'll be approved before then. I'm getting excited about this all over again. Thank goodness, because it's been a few weeks since I've been excited over anything.
10/23/02 8:11am
I spoke with Joyce at Dr. Macatol's office yesterday. The paperwork for my approval was sent last week and the pictures were sent this past weekend.
I called Healthnet to see if they had received the pics already and was lucky enough to get the sweetest lady on the phone. She happend to be the one taking care of my case and said they had not received the pics yet...but she gave me her phone number and extension to call her back Thursday afternoon.
The good news is, once they've gotten the pics and can send them over to the medical board, they should have a decision within 48 hours. I'm getting so excited and motivated again.
My eating habits over the last 2 months have been atrocious. I haven't been eating a lot, but more not eating enough protein, drinking my water, excercising and eating a lot of carbs. Over the last few days I've been more careful, not perfect but more careful and guess what? The scale is moving again.
I'm feeling so much more motivated and excited. Thank God!!
11/3/02 3:28pm
Healthnet has received my pics on Friday and I'm told they should have a decision by Monday or Tuesday. I may be tummy free by the end of two weeks. Actually, I'm trying not to think about it. The part that scares me the most is the pain. I have to find out about a compression garment. I'm not sure if my surgeon provides one or if I have to buy one myself.
I'll let you know the update soon!
11/4/02 10:50pm WOOOO HOOO =) !!!! I have rather great news guys. My TT & hernia repair was approved yesterday at 10:45am. The nurse called and asked how I was and I said in a rather shaky voice, "I'm good." Then she replied "well you are about to be even better,YOU'VE BEEN APPROVED!!"
These have been some of the sweetest words I've ever heard. When I had my wls, I wasn't worried one bit that I wouldn't be approved, so when they did, it was just a fact and not that much to jump over joy for. But this, I had to actually convince someone and it feels all so awesome. I was doing the happy dance, all day!
I'm seeing my surgeon this afternoon and I should be able to go under the knife very soon.
11/16/02 8:39am
So close and yet so far. My abdominoplasty was scheduled for yesterday 11/15/02, but as you can guess, it didn't happen. On Monday I started having sinus headaches and was taking over-the-counter sinus medicine. Dr. Macatol felt that because of the headaches, it was best to postpone the surgery.
I was crushed, I wanted my surgery so badly. I could taste it. All week we had been making preparations and I had to cancel everything. But, the truth is I was sooooo very nervous about this surgery. I don't know if it was preop jitters or what, but I actually felt relieved, in a way, when it was cancelled. My darling John thinks this was fate and stressed to me how things happen for a reason.
I have to believe in the universe working the way it's suppose to. Now I am very happy that this happend. Since Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away, I've decided not to reschedule until early December. This way I will have had a nice Thanksgiving and be somewhat recovered for Christmas.
Okay, enough on that subject. I really wanted to write today about some of what's been going on in my life. I've been really bad at updating and it's time to get back on track.
I lost my job at the end of August and my eating has not been very good. I've been eating way too many fats and carbs, not drinking enough water and not exercising. The bad news about all that is that I have barely lost any weight since then. The good news....I haven't gained any weight. FREAKING AMAZING!!!
Pre wls I would have gained 10lbs in the last 2 months, but because of this surgery I haven't gained anything. The even better news....the pouch still works. I've been watching more carefully what I've been eating over the last 2 weeks and I've lost another 1.5lbs. I know that doesn't sound like much, but when you haven't lost anything in months, 1.5lbs is so very sweet. It also proved to me that I can still lose weight if I do what I'm suppose to and this wonderful tool is still working like a charm.
Now on all the other news. Our support group has grown to 5 chapters and I'm having a wonderful time leading it. This journey had taken me to places I never thought imaginable. Now that I will be looking for work again, I've decied I want to change careers. No more office work for me.
I would like to go back to school and get a nursing degree. I feel that a nursing degree will give me the credentials I need to go into so many paths. I can work in hospitals, with doctors offices, with agencies. I can later do administrative work, I can get a minor in social work. But most of all the best thing is that I'll get to work with people, helping them, because that's what I want to do. I want to be able to help and comfort people who are in pain, whether that be physical or emotional pain. The best part is I think I'm really good at that.
I've had several social workers who have listened to me speak at meetings and have said that I would be perfect for becoming a social worker. I have the heart and mind of a social worker. That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. Who knew that this journey of weight loss and health, would have brought me to where I am today.
I am so very grateful for this surgery. This has been a true miracle for me and I only wish that it touches others the way it has touched and changed my life.
11/26/02 1:25pm
December 3rd 2002 will be my date to get my abdominoplasty and hernia repair done. I was so nervous the last time I was getting ready to have this done. I was actually relieved when it was cancelled. This time, I'm still having a little nerves, but mostly just excitement.
The great news is I have cut back on my smoking and I am so very proud of myself. Some would say that cutting back is not good enough, but I've gone from having 25-30 cigarettes a day to only 6 cigarettes a day. For me this is a major milestone.
My husband and I have cut out all smoking in our house and are only smoking outside. Although, my husband is not planning on quitting, this little change has caused him to cut back on his smoking as well. I'm very happy for that.
This month is extremely hectic now. We have my surgery coming up on next Tuesday, my son's birthday on the 9th, then he has surgery for a tonsillectomy/adnoid removal, tube insertion in his ears and removal of a syst on the 12th of this month and of course Christmas on the 25th. Wow, how will we ever get through all of this. I'm sure God will find a way.
12/1/02 10:59am
2 more days and counting until I'm on the flat side of this tummy!! YEAH!!!
12/6/02 12:29pm
Hi everybody!! Thank you so much for all those who have posted to my page and emailed me personally. I promise I will get back to you each individually, but it will take me some time. But I wanted to make sure and put a general message out there for you.
Well, I went into the hospital on Tuesday, surgery started at 11:15 and finished at 4:07, I'm told. Thank God, I did not wake up with the ventilator tube down my throat this time. So things started off very well, right there. The first night I was barely in any pain, just very sleepy. I kept waking up every 10 min thinking I had been sleeping for an hour or so. That was surreal.
The doc said he took off 7lbs of skin. I'm not sure how many inches exactly, but I've been told 7 by some and 10 by others. Either number will be fabulous with me. I haven't seen my scars as of yet, because I'm completely bandaged and wrapped in this binder. My surgeon doesn't want to take off the binder until he sees me this weekend. I have 3 drains and they don't hurt at all.
Okay, as far as the pain goes. I'm taking 1 percocet every 3 hours down from 2 every 4 - 6 hours. By the time 2.5 hours go by, I start feeling the pain coming back. But during the first 2 hours of the percocet I feel really good and can move around. Still stiff and hunched over, but I can stand a little more straight each time.
As I said before I can really see too much of the results right now, but once I can I'm sure I will be jumping for joy that I did this. Right now, I'm just trying to recover and not even think of the results.
Of course I will try and get you all some pics as soon as I can, as I know how important it is for all of you to see. I can't tell you how many emails I've received thanking me for posting my nude before pics. It means a lot to me that I can help all of you out there, because it's my way of giving back just a little of what you've given to me. I'll talk to you all again soon.
12/13/02 7:20am
I'm 11 days postop TT and pretty much up and about now. I've lost 7lbs from my TT and another 5lbs, as of this morning. This makes my total loss so far now, 149lbs. I'm so freakin' psyched about this.
My swelling is still there, but going down a bit everyday. I'm also still wearing my binder, which is currently my best-friend. I have steri-strips on the "T" part of my incision, but the hip to hip incision looks great. So far just a thin line. That makes me thrilled. I don't really know what size I can wear now, but I'm planning on going shopping this weekend. Woo hoo!!
12/13/02 8:30pm
Hi everybody! I have to tell you about 2 milestones that have happend to me lately. Since I'm 16 months postops, the milestones are starting to come far and few between, so these are very sweet. First, as many of you know, I had my TT last Tuesday. Well, when I was leaving, the nurse came with the wheelchari to bring me to our car. I took one look at that little chair and thought "you've got to be kidding, buddy." The last time I was in a wheelchair I need the extra large chair. I had on a thick sweater, thick pants and my long ankle legnth coat. Never thought I'd fit. Well, I forget that it's been 16 months and over 140lbs since I had been in a wheelchair. I slid right in with room to spare. The nurse asked me what I was so worried about. All I could do was look at my husband and we gave eachother that knowing smile. He knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling. My second milestone, which happend just yesterday, is the sweater I wore. Just for giggles I looked at my husband's sweater and wondered if it would fit. I pulled it over my head and it indeed did fit. Its a Gap size Medium. Now on my husband the sweater is loose and on me it's form fitting, but can you believe it, size Medium. I just about pee'd in my pants with excitement. God,WLS is such a miracle. Peace and love to all on this journey. MUAH!!
12/29/02 8:01am
It is almost a month since my TT. I am feeling great, still wearing my binder in the house and evenings. When I get dressed and go out I wear a body girdle I have, that is VERY snug fitting and holds everthing in real tight. It actually feels good.
I think back to 18 months ago and pre wls, wearing a girdle like this would have killed me, not that I would have even been able to find one in my size. I would have felt suffocated. But now it feels so nice to be squeezed into a girdle and have a nice smooth look to one's figure and curves.
The incisions are all doing well....except for one spot. Right where my two incicision meet, there was a scab. Part of the scab came off and then my daughter accidentally elbowed me right there the other day. The other part of the scab came off and the incision opened. So now I have about a 1 in piece of my incision which is open again. This had made me so sad, angry and disappointed, because the rest of the incision is so fantastic looking. It looks like a thin pencil line. No track marks or anything. Now I have this open wound that I have to start covering and taking care of again.
I checked my BMI today and I am down to 30.4 from a BMI of 56. I only need to lose 4 more lbs to be considered just "overweight." I'm 5'4 and 177lbs now. I've lost in almost 17 months 150lbs. That makes a total loss of 78% of my excess body weight.I'd like to lose another 27lbs to get to 150, but if I lose another 32lbs, instead, I can be at a "normal" weight for my height. I never thought I could ever be this close. I don't know if that will happen, but anywhere near that goal will make me thrilled.
I remember pre wls I use to think "If I only lost 100lbs with this surgery, I will be happy." I got to that goal and there was no way I was stopping there. I felt too good to stop the ride. So, I'm still on it.
I keep wondering, I've loved this journey so much, but when will I get to my destination? I thought that my destination would be having my TT and that's when I'd be done. But funny enough, it's not over yet. I think because the journey never ends. We may get off the road for a little while, slow down and relax, but then it's right back on that road, continuing the path to learning and expanding ourselves.
This is the difference from before wls and after. Pre wls I would have gotten off the road and settled down. Stagnated and killed myself in the process, but now I am always continuing on the journey and learning more and more about myself.
We are on the edge of a New Year and my wish for everyone is that they consistently find themselves on the journey.
1/3/02 6:34pm MILESTONE TODAY!!
I started a new job today. I sat in on the monthly meeting, where I was introduced to everyone. The thought came over me that I wasn't thinking "what do these people think of the new fat girl?" Then I realized that none of these people new me as fat. They just know me...now.
Then I'm in the kitchen, speaking to one of my new co-workers. She's picking the bread off her hamburger and I said to her, "I see I'm not the only one who does that." She proceeds to tell me that she's on Atkins and asks why I take the bread off mine. I explain that I eat a lo-carb diet. She then asks me (get this!) "why, you don't need to diet?" I was blown away!! I wondered what was wrong with her eyes. She must see things like those carnival mirrors or something. But then I realize, I'm not huge anymore. I certainly can lose some more weight, but I'm not super morbidly obese anymore.
Well, I chuckled and explained to her that I use to weigh 327.5lbs. Now she was blown away. She couldn't believe I could have ever been that big. My only regret is that I lost my before pic, that I use to carry with me and have to get another copy. I wish I had been able to show it to her.
It was a good day!
2/2/03 10:27am
Hi everyone, this is Liza's hubby John. I just wanted to boast a little about her, because she deserves it.
Liza took the plunge and got a small (Tastefull) TATTOO on her Ankle. she is a Career Woman and this is NOT something we do! But this really is a work of art.And so she got this Lotus Flower.Whats interesting is the story behind the Lotus. It seems this Flower grows best from Muck in a Swamp area. The flower represents "courage, sexuality, beauty and rebirth". As the wife likes to translate "From Out Of Adversty there can still grow this Beautiful Flower.
I believe it really reflects Liza's journey through her Weight Loss Surgery to losing over 150 pounds and becoming the BEAUTIFUL Wife and Mom she is today(course I thought She WAS ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL). so anyway just wanted to mention how proud of her I am, not just about A Tattoo but Her ENTIRE JOURNEY! Okay thats all, I Just wanted to Share this. If you want to see a pic of it, just email her, I'm sure she'll be glad to send one. Love, the DH...aka John!
2/15/03 9:28am HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! This holiday was very special for me this year. Two years ago, I was wearing a size 4x, last year (6 months post-op) I was wearing a 2x and this year I went to Wal-mart for some lingerie and I'm wearing a M/L!! I bought and wore, for the first time ever, a pair of THONG undies (black with little pink hearts). The jubilation I had was almost unbearable. I felt like my heart was going to bust out of my chest.
3/29/03 5:51am
It seems harder and harder to keep coming back here to post these days. My surgery was 20 months ago and my life is becoming so normal. WLS has become just such a natural part of my life.
There have been some bumps in the road, but Halleluiah it's smoothing out again. One of the reasons I truly believe it is getting better is because I've reconnected with an Overeaters Anonymous group. Some of you may wonder why? I'll tell you, for me it is a fact of life that I am a food addict and compulsive overeater. The surgery helps you the first year or so to get the weight of and help you see more clearly for changing your eating lifestyle, but it doesn't change your mindset forever. At least that was not the case with me.
I lost my job about 7 months ago and the first 6 months I was home, I totally regressed back into old habits. Gratefully, this surgery does not allow me to do the damage I to myself, I once could have done. My weight pretty much stalled. I wasselled within the same 4lbs for months. And to top it off I was depressed and my life was chaotic.
I have since found OA again and it has brought some semblance of peace back into my life. I went back to basics, as far as food is concerned and I'm feeling great. The 4lbs I had gained, I have lost 3 and I feel again like I can conquer....at least my world for right now.
Some of you may not feel that you have a food addiction or are a compulsive overeater and to you I say "Kudos," but for those of you who know that you have a real "problem" with food, I implore you to get support, in whatever way you feel fits your life. For this surgery is a tool and will only help you as much as you let it.
5/24/03 6:00am WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
How difficult it is to continually come back here and update this page. Although my gratitude for this site is never waning, life as a post-op offers so many new opportunities. It makes it just virtually impossible to find the time I once so abundantly had as a super morbidly obese person.
I come here today to share some wonderful news with all my friends. My family and I are being blessed with an addition to the family. I am now 9.5 weeks pregnant and feeling wonderful. My wonderful husband and I have two children, but this will be our first with me being a post-op.
I am so thrilled as this is my first pregancy that I am not super morbidly obese and will be looking like a "normal" pregnant woman. I was freaking a little in the begining thinking about the weight gain and how the baby will change my body, but now I am relishing every moment. I have started to "show" a little and it is so very exciting to see this change so early on. It use to take me 5 - 6 months before I really looked pregnant and not just fat.
We saw my OB at my 8 week check up and the baby was 1.5cm long, with a wonderful heartbeat. Can you imagine something so tiny with a heartbeat already. It was so very exciting to see the ultrasound be so clear. With my other pregnancies, the ultrasounds were always blurry because of the huge amount of fat on my abdomen.
I'm also so much looking forward to buying real maternity clothes for the first time. Each time before I would only be able to purchase maybe one or two pieces, because I couldn't find anything that would fit me. Now I can buy off the rack.
I'll keep you all updated with our progress. MUAH!
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August 2, 2002 was my 1 Year anniversary of my RNY (down 132.5lbs then) and it is time to begin the final leg of this journey....getting the excess abdominal skin removed and hernia repaired.
Here goes!!
8/15/02 11:00pm
Let the games begin!! I saw my surgeon, Dr. Valin for my 1 year post-op visit, on August 5th. He was very happy with my results this year. I have officially lost over 131lbs.
We discussed the severity of my rashes, having my hernia repaired finally and having the abdominoplasty done. He checked my belly and felt my hernia. He will be doing an anchor cut, where they cut from breast bone to pubic bone and then from hip to hip. He will stitch my abdominal muscles, as well. This type of cut will cinch my waist, fix the hernia and leave me smooth....that means no more creases for rashes. HOORAY!! He feels he'll be able to take 10 - 12lbs off, just from this surgery. That should put me at almost 180lbs.
Now the insurance wait begins. The office sent in my paperwork, letter from him and all my glorious pictures on 8/6. The insurance company said they can take 1 - 2 months for a predetermination. I pray every night that they give me an answer soon as I'm going nuts already. I have already been scheduled for surgery on September 30th, so I pray that I will hear from them in plenty of time for this.
Wish me luck!!! 8/19/02 8:03pm
Wow! What a weekend! We went to an amusement park for my daughter and my birthday, this weekend. I had a blast....oh and the kids did, too. LOL =) The only bad part was that the young girl at the entrace asked me if I was pregnant....YIKES! It was truly a mistake and she tripped over herself apologising when I said, "No, I'm not pregnant, this is just left overs from losing 132lbs." Poor girl turned every shade of pink and red imaginable.
8/23/02 7:09am
I have some semi-good news about my insurance journey for my TT. I had been hounding my insurance company for a week to find out if they received the paperwork from my surgeon and nothing was coming through. I finally got in touch with an Angel who told me to fax him the paperwork and the pictures. I got the paperwork and pics to him yesterday and he said that I should have a determination in plenty of time for my 9/30 surgery date.
Although, he does not make the determination for approval, he said by looking at the pictures and my letter, I seem to meet all the requirements neccessary and that the insurance company does pay for this surgery if all the conditions apply and that he knows they have paid for this several times. WOO HOO!! He also promised me he would check the system every few days to check and see if there was an approval number in the system. I was so appreciative for all of his extra efforts, I asked to speak to his supervisor so I could compliment and praise his excellent service. I figured that was a nice thing to do....and it will definitely keep me in his mind, too.
5 more weeks and a weekend until the big TT day!! 08/26 11:12 PM
=(
Yes, I have a sad face on, because as of this afternoon I am jobless. Lost my job @ 2:30 today. I was okay, until a little while ago when I realized I have no where to go tomorrow. I'm really scared, as we are a one income family and now that income is gone. I wil be putting in for unemployment tomorrow, but as it was we were living hand to mouth, I can't imagine what we will do now.
I will have to pay $350.00 to keep my insurance going on Cobra. Otherwise I will lose my surgery date. Can you imagine, I use to pay less than that monthly for my whole family. If I were to keep my entire family on the cobra, it would cost almost $1,000!!
Well, I guess as they say "that which does not kill you makes you stronger." 08/29 04:08 PM
HELP, I'VE BEEN DENIED
My Insurer just called me. They approved the hernia (no kidding) but not the panniculectomy!! They said there is an exclusion in the contract. BUT, they did say I can do a secondary appeal. Please, please, please someone tell me what to do, I can't live with this belly and all the complications from it. This is such a crappy week. Lost my job on Monday and now denied for this today. I just want to crawl into a ball. What do I do now, who do I contact, what do I write? They want more proof showing this is medically neccessary and that this is effecting my quality of life. HELP!! 08/30 08:34 AM
You guys are such a source of comfort for me and have rallied around me time and time again.
It is times like these that you realize who your true friends are and who is just a fair weathered friend. There are a few people in my life that I thought would have emailed me or called me over the events of this week, but not one word. Don't take me wrong, I'm NOT upset...actually, very happy that they've given me the oppotunity to see who they really area.
Some people have thought that my getting upset over my denial of my panni was not neccessary, that maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't, but I have every right to my feelings. It's true that compared to other events that can happen in one's life, this may be less important, but right now in my life those other things are not happening. I've had 2 major blows this week and I have every right to own my devastation over my denial.
I don't want to be perfect, I want to look "normal". Currently, I am NOT exaggerating when I state that, I look 7 months pregnant. (Take a peek at my before pics on this profile and you will see.) Yes, as my darling John says, "but you look like such a sexy pregnant woman." I'm happy for that, but still would like to look like a normal 32 year old, not a pregnant 32 year old. This panni is still part of my weight loss journey and is as important mentally and physically as the RNY was to me. Getting rid of my huge belly, will make me look normal, not perfect by any means. It will take away the pain, in my abdomen, I wake up with every morning from my umbilical hernia. It will take away my back pain and these smelly rashes. Mentally it will help me to feel like I've reached my goal and help me to look, again normal. It will allow me to function as a normal woman again.
Isn't that what having this surgery is all about, helping us to feel better and look better. I don't care what anyone says, looking good may be secondary to getting healthy, but it's still on the top of the list. Anyone who says they don't care about looking better is lying to themselves, as well as everyone else.
Okay, I'm done, I'll go back to my "silent suffering," LOL =) 08/30 10:47PM
I have good news and bad news about my panni denial. The good news first. I called to find out what the exact reason for my denial is. It is NOT because they do not consider it medically neccessary (although, I guess that could be next.) Here is the bad news. It is because Per contract this procedure is excluded.
What this means is, my employer excluded this from the contract when they purchased the policy. On a whim I asked the great guy from the insurance company,"what if I got a letter of exception from my company?" He stated that he could not say for sure, but he believed that would make a big difference.
Okay, so now I'm calling, emailing & faxing a letter (w/graphic pics), to my old employer asking them for a letter of exception, based on the fact that this is not a cosmetic procedure, but a medical neccessity and I'm including the letters from my docs and references stating these facts with diagnosis codes.
On another note, I wanted to let you know I thank God everyday for the wonderful people on this site and for the people who make this site possible. I am a strong person and have overcome much in my life, but truly it is you who have lifted me up this time and helped me get off the floor this week, when I was kicked down. You guys are the greatest bunch of people and I pray that God blesses each and everyone of you with the dreams and goals you all very much deserve.
09/15/02 07:21am
Hi Everybody!! Goliath has won! After putting up one heck of a fight, my former employer under no circumstances will pay/approve the abdominoplasty. I finally have decided to give up the fight with them. I trully believe that God has his own plan and if I was meant to have my TT payed by them, then they would have approved me. I did everything I could have done (except hire a lawyer and sue their butts off.) I'm not up to anymore of a fight with them. I woke up very much in peace about this last week.
I still have a couple of other options. My family and I are now on state aid and I will apply for the TT with them. Since, I have a hernia, I know that even if I don't get approved for the TT, the hernia, anesthisiologist and hospital expenses will be paid and I can pay for the TT part out of pocket. So the door is not closed. I will have my TT, just not in my time, in God's time. I think he has plans for me and I shouldn't be fighting against it.
Peace and love to all on this journey. MUAH!! 10/19/02 8:31am
I've been away for a while. I was really depressed about not getting my approval in my time. We had decided to put off the surgery and try to have our third and final baby. Well, after a month of watching my cycle, trying to figure out when I ovulate, making love like crazy and then waiting the 2 weeks to see if I was pregnant.....I'm not.
I had made a decision that if it didn't happen this first attempt, it was a sign to not have a baby right now and continue with my journey to have my TT. This will give me even more time to get into better shape for the day we are ready to finally have our third and final. We know we want one more, just not right now.
I am still unemployed and not sure of what direction I wish to take my career. I've worked in customer service for 15 years and I'm tired of it. I want to work in a field where I can help others. I am sort of doing that with my work with my suppport group I started, but unfortunatley I don't get paid for it.
I'd like to become a midwife, but the training for that will take me forever. So, I'm starting off with trying to become a certified Doula. A woman who supports pregnant women through their pregnancy, labor and postpartum. I'm looking forward to this, but I'm going to have to quit smoking and that scares me. I don't know how ready I am to give that up.
Oh, I forgot, I applied for the TT with my new health insurance. The surgeon has given me a date of 11/7, so hopefully I'll be approved before then. I'm getting excited about this all over again. Thank goodness, because it's been a few weeks since I've been excited over anything.
10/23/02 8:11am
I spoke with Joyce at Dr. Macatol's office yesterday. The paperwork for my approval was sent last week and the pictures were sent this past weekend.
I called Healthnet to see if they had received the pics already and was lucky enough to get the sweetest lady on the phone. She happend to be the one taking care of my case and said they had not received the pics yet...but she gave me her phone number and extension to call her back Thursday afternoon.
The good news is, once they've gotten the pics and can send them over to the medical board, they should have a decision within 48 hours. I'm getting so excited and motivated again.
My eating habits over the last 2 months have been atrocious. I haven't been eating a lot, but more not eating enough protein, drinking my water, excercising and eating a lot of carbs. Over the last few days I've been more careful, not perfect but more careful and guess what? The scale is moving again.
I'm feeling so much more motivated and excited. Thank God!!
11/3/02 3:28pm
Healthnet has received my pics on Friday and I'm told they should have a decision by Monday or Tuesday. I may be tummy free by the end of two weeks. Actually, I'm trying not to think about it. The part that scares me the most is the pain. I have to find out about a compression garment. I'm not sure if my surgeon provides one or if I have to buy one myself.
I'll let you know the update soon!
11/4/02 10:50pm WOOOO HOOO =) !!!! I have rather great news guys. My TT & hernia repair was approved yesterday at 10:45am. The nurse called and asked how I was and I said in a rather shaky voice, "I'm good." Then she replied "well you are about to be even better,YOU'VE BEEN APPROVED!!"
These have been some of the sweetest words I've ever heard. When I had my wls, I wasn't worried one bit that I wouldn't be approved, so when they did, it was just a fact and not that much to jump over joy for. But this, I had to actually convince someone and it feels all so awesome. I was doing the happy dance, all day!
I'm seeing my surgeon this afternoon and I should be able to go under the knife very soon.
11/16/02 8:39am
So close and yet so far. My abdominoplasty was scheduled for yesterday 11/15/02, but as you can guess, it didn't happen. On Monday I started having sinus headaches and was taking over-the-counter sinus medicine. Dr. Macatol felt that because of the headaches, it was best to postpone the surgery.
I was crushed, I wanted my surgery so badly. I could taste it. All week we had been making preparations and I had to cancel everything. But, the truth is I was sooooo very nervous about this surgery. I don't know if it was preop jitters or what, but I actually felt relieved, in a way, when it was cancelled. My darling John thinks this was fate and stressed to me how things happen for a reason.
I have to believe in the universe working the way it's suppose to. Now I am very happy that this happend. Since Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away, I've decided not to reschedule until early December. This way I will have had a nice Thanksgiving and be somewhat recovered for Christmas.
Okay, enough on that subject. I really wanted to write today about some of what's been going on in my life. I've been really bad at updating and it's time to get back on track.
I lost my job at the end of August and my eating has not been very good. I've been eating way too many fats and carbs, not drinking enough water and not exercising. The bad news about all that is that I have barely lost any weight since then. The good news....I haven't gained any weight. FREAKING AMAZING!!!
Pre wls I would have gained 10lbs in the last 2 months, but because of this surgery I haven't gained anything. The even better news....the pouch still works. I've been watching more carefully what I've been eating over the last 2 weeks and I've lost another 1.5lbs. I know that doesn't sound like much, but when you haven't lost anything in months, 1.5lbs is so very sweet. It also proved to me that I can still lose weight if I do what I'm suppose to and this wonderful tool is still working like a charm.
Now on all the other news. Our support group has grown to 5 chapters and I'm having a wonderful time leading it. This journey had taken me to places I never thought imaginable. Now that I will be looking for work again, I've decied I want to change careers. No more office work for me.
I would like to go back to school and get a nursing degree. I feel that a nursing degree will give me the credentials I need to go into so many paths. I can work in hospitals, with doctors offices, with agencies. I can later do administrative work, I can get a minor in social work. But most of all the best thing is that I'll get to work with people, helping them, because that's what I want to do. I want to be able to help and comfort people who are in pain, whether that be physical or emotional pain. The best part is I think I'm really good at that.
I've had several social workers who have listened to me speak at meetings and have said that I would be perfect for becoming a social worker. I have the heart and mind of a social worker. That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. Who knew that this journey of weight loss and health, would have brought me to where I am today.
I am so very grateful for this surgery. This has been a true miracle for me and I only wish that it touches others the way it has touched and changed my life.
11/26/02 1:25pm
December 3rd 2002 will be my date to get my abdominoplasty and hernia repair done. I was so nervous the last time I was getting ready to have this done. I was actually relieved when it was cancelled. This time, I'm still having a little nerves, but mostly just excitement.
The great news is I have cut back on my smoking and I am so very proud of myself. Some would say that cutting back is not good enough, but I've gone from having 25-30 cigarettes a day to only 6 cigarettes a day. For me this is a major milestone.
My husband and I have cut out all smoking in our house and are only smoking outside. Although, my husband is not planning on quitting, this little change has caused him to cut back on his smoking as well. I'm very happy for that.
This month is extremely hectic now. We have my surgery coming up on next Tuesday, my son's birthday on the 9th, then he has surgery for a tonsillectomy/adnoid removal, tube insertion in his ears and removal of a syst on the 12th of this month and of course Christmas on the 25th. Wow, how will we ever get through all of this. I'm sure God will find a way.
12/1/02 10:59am
2 more days and counting until I'm on the flat side of this tummy!! YEAH!!!
12/6/02 12:29pm
Hi everybody!! Thank you so much for all those who have posted to my page and emailed me personally. I promise I will get back to you each individually, but it will take me some time. But I wanted to make sure and put a general message out there for you.
Well, I went into the hospital on Tuesday, surgery started at 11:15 and finished at 4:07, I'm told. Thank God, I did not wake up with the ventilator tube down my throat this time. So things started off very well, right there. The first night I was barely in any pain, just very sleepy. I kept waking up every 10 min thinking I had been sleeping for an hour or so. That was surreal.
The doc said he took off 7lbs of skin. I'm not sure how many inches exactly, but I've been told 7 by some and 10 by others. Either number will be fabulous with me. I haven't seen my scars as of yet, because I'm completely bandaged and wrapped in this binder. My surgeon doesn't want to take off the binder until he sees me this weekend. I have 3 drains and they don't hurt at all.
Okay, as far as the pain goes. I'm taking 1 percocet every 3 hours down from 2 every 4 - 6 hours. By the time 2.5 hours go by, I start feeling the pain coming back. But during the first 2 hours of the percocet I feel really good and can move around. Still stiff and hunched over, but I can stand a little more straight each time.
As I said before I can really see too much of the results right now, but once I can I'm sure I will be jumping for joy that I did this. Right now, I'm just trying to recover and not even think of the results.
Of course I will try and get you all some pics as soon as I can, as I know how important it is for all of you to see. I can't tell you how many emails I've received thanking me for posting my nude before pics. It means a lot to me that I can help all of you out there, because it's my way of giving back just a little of what you've given to me. I'll talk to you all again soon.
12/13/02 7:20am
I'm 11 days postop TT and pretty much up and about now. I've lost 7lbs from my TT and another 5lbs, as of this morning. This makes my total loss so far now, 149lbs. I'm so freakin' psyched about this.
My swelling is still there, but going down a bit everyday. I'm also still wearing my binder, which is currently my best-friend. I have steri-strips on the "T" part of my incision, but the hip to hip incision looks great. So far just a thin line. That makes me thrilled. I don't really know what size I can wear now, but I'm planning on going shopping this weekend. Woo hoo!!
12/13/02 8:30pm
Hi everybody! I have to tell you about 2 milestones that have happend to me lately. Since I'm 16 months postops, the milestones are starting to come far and few between, so these are very sweet. First, as many of you know, I had my TT last Tuesday. Well, when I was leaving, the nurse came with the wheelchari to bring me to our car. I took one look at that little chair and thought "you've got to be kidding, buddy." The last time I was in a wheelchair I need the extra large chair. I had on a thick sweater, thick pants and my long ankle legnth coat. Never thought I'd fit. Well, I forget that it's been 16 months and over 140lbs since I had been in a wheelchair. I slid right in with room to spare. The nurse asked me what I was so worried about. All I could do was look at my husband and we gave eachother that knowing smile. He knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling. My second milestone, which happend just yesterday, is the sweater I wore. Just for giggles I looked at my husband's sweater and wondered if it would fit. I pulled it over my head and it indeed did fit. Its a Gap size Medium. Now on my husband the sweater is loose and on me it's form fitting, but can you believe it, size Medium. I just about pee'd in my pants with excitement. God,WLS is such a miracle. Peace and love to all on this journey. MUAH!!
12/29/02 8:01am
It is almost a month since my TT. I am feeling great, still wearing my binder in the house and evenings. When I get dressed and go out I wear a body girdle I have, that is VERY snug fitting and holds everthing in real tight. It actually feels good.
I think back to 18 months ago and pre wls, wearing a girdle like this would have killed me, not that I would have even been able to find one in my size. I would have felt suffocated. But now it feels so nice to be squeezed into a girdle and have a nice smooth look to one's figure and curves.
The incisions are all doing well....except for one spot. Right where my two incicision meet, there was a scab. Part of the scab came off and then my daughter accidentally elbowed me right there the other day. The other part of the scab came off and the incision opened. So now I have about a 1 in piece of my incision which is open again. This had made me so sad, angry and disappointed, because the rest of the incision is so fantastic looking. It looks like a thin pencil line. No track marks or anything. Now I have this open wound that I have to start covering and taking care of again.
I checked my BMI today and I am down to 30.4 from a BMI of 56. I only need to lose 4 more lbs to be considered just "overweight." I'm 5'4 and 177lbs now. I've lost in almost 17 months 150lbs. That makes a total loss of 78% of my excess body weight.I'd like to lose another 27lbs to get to 150, but if I lose another 32lbs, instead, I can be at a "normal" weight for my height. I never thought I could ever be this close. I don't know if that will happen, but anywhere near that goal will make me thrilled.
I remember pre wls I use to think "If I only lost 100lbs with this surgery, I will be happy." I got to that goal and there was no way I was stopping there. I felt too good to stop the ride. So, I'm still on it.
I keep wondering, I've loved this journey so much, but when will I get to my destination? I thought that my destination would be having my TT and that's when I'd be done. But funny enough, it's not over yet. I think because the journey never ends. We may get off the road for a little while, slow down and relax, but then it's right back on that road, continuing the path to learning and expanding ourselves.
This is the difference from before wls and after. Pre wls I would have gotten off the road and settled down. Stagnated and killed myself in the process, but now I am always continuing on the journey and learning more and more about myself.
We are on the edge of a New Year and my wish for everyone is that they consistently find themselves on the journey.
1/3/02 6:34pm MILESTONE TODAY!!
I started a new job today. I sat in on the monthly meeting, where I was introduced to everyone. The thought came over me that I wasn't thinking "what do these people think of the new fat girl?" Then I realized that none of these people new me as fat. They just know me...now.
Then I'm in the kitchen, speaking to one of my new co-workers. She's picking the bread off her hamburger and I said to her, "I see I'm not the only one who does that." She proceeds to tell me that she's on Atkins and asks why I take the bread off mine. I explain that I eat a lo-carb diet. She then asks me (get this!) "why, you don't need to diet?" I was blown away!! I wondered what was wrong with her eyes. She must see things like those carnival mirrors or something. But then I realize, I'm not huge anymore. I certainly can lose some more weight, but I'm not super morbidly obese anymore.
Well, I chuckled and explained to her that I use to weigh 327.5lbs. Now she was blown away. She couldn't believe I could have ever been that big. My only regret is that I lost my before pic, that I use to carry with me and have to get another copy. I wish I had been able to show it to her.
It was a good day!
2/2/03 10:27am
Hi everyone, this is Liza's hubby John. I just wanted to boast a little about her, because she deserves it.
Liza took the plunge and got a small (Tastefull) TATTOO on her Ankle. she is a Career Woman and this is NOT something we do! But this really is a work of art.And so she got this Lotus Flower.Whats interesting is the story behind the Lotus. It seems this Flower grows best from Muck in a Swamp area. The flower represents "courage, sexuality, beauty and rebirth". As the wife likes to translate "From Out Of Adversty there can still grow this Beautiful Flower.
I believe it really reflects Liza's journey through her Weight Loss Surgery to losing over 150 pounds and becoming the BEAUTIFUL Wife and Mom she is today(course I thought She WAS ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL). so anyway just wanted to mention how proud of her I am, not just about A Tattoo but Her ENTIRE JOURNEY! Okay thats all, I Just wanted to Share this. If you want to see a pic of it, just email her, I'm sure she'll be glad to send one. Love, the DH...aka John!
2/15/03 9:28am HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! This holiday was very special for me this year. Two years ago, I was wearing a size 4x, last year (6 months post-op) I was wearing a 2x and this year I went to Wal-mart for some lingerie and I'm wearing a M/L!! I bought and wore, for the first time ever, a pair of THONG undies (black with little pink hearts). The jubilation I had was almost unbearable. I felt like my heart was going to bust out of my chest.
3/29/03 5:51am
It seems harder and harder to keep coming back here to post these days. My surgery was 20 months ago and my life is becoming so normal. WLS has become just such a natural part of my life.
There have been some bumps in the road, but Halleluiah it's smoothing out again. One of the reasons I truly believe it is getting better is because I've reconnected with an Overeaters Anonymous group. Some of you may wonder why? I'll tell you, for me it is a fact of life that I am a food addict and compulsive overeater. The surgery helps you the first year or so to get the weight of and help you see more clearly for changing your eating lifestyle, but it doesn't change your mindset forever. At least that was not the case with me.
I lost my job about 7 months ago and the first 6 months I was home, I totally regressed back into old habits. Gratefully, this surgery does not allow me to do the damage I to myself, I once could have done. My weight pretty much stalled. I wasselled within the same 4lbs for months. And to top it off I was depressed and my life was chaotic.
I have since found OA again and it has brought some semblance of peace back into my life. I went back to basics, as far as food is concerned and I'm feeling great. The 4lbs I had gained, I have lost 3 and I feel again like I can conquer....at least my world for right now.
Some of you may not feel that you have a food addiction or are a compulsive overeater and to you I say "Kudos," but for those of you who know that you have a real "problem" with food, I implore you to get support, in whatever way you feel fits your life. For this surgery is a tool and will only help you as much as you let it.
5/24/03 6:00am WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
How difficult it is to continually come back here and update this page. Although my gratitude for this site is never waning, life as a post-op offers so many new opportunities. It makes it just virtually impossible to find the time I once so abundantly had as a super morbidly obese person.
I come here today to share some wonderful news with all my friends. My family and I are being blessed with an addition to the family. I am now 9.5 weeks pregnant and feeling wonderful. My wonderful husband and I have two children, but this will be our first with me being a post-op.
I am so thrilled as this is my first pregancy that I am not super morbidly obese and will be looking like a "normal" pregnant woman. I was freaking a little in the begining thinking about the weight gain and how the baby will change my body, but now I am relishing every moment. I have started to "show" a little and it is so very exciting to see this change so early on. It use to take me 5 - 6 months before I really looked pregnant and not just fat.
We saw my OB at my 8 week check up and the baby was 1.5cm long, with a wonderful heartbeat. Can you imagine something so tiny with a heartbeat already. It was so very exciting to see the ultrasound be so clear. With my other pregnancies, the ultrasounds were always blurry because of the huge amount of fat on my abdomen.
I'm also so much looking forward to buying real maternity clothes for the first time. Each time before I would only be able to purchase maybe one or two pieces, because I couldn't find anything that would fit me. Now I can buy off the rack.
I'll keep you all updated with our progress. MUAH!
05/02 - 07/02
May 10, 2011
5/31/02
Our son Taylor had to have surgery today for an umbilical hernia. He is just 3.5 years old. I have to say medical science is amazing!! The procedure started at 9am. By 12:30pm we were getting our walking papers. Besides a little soreness, Taylor seems okay. Doc says he should be able to have a bath by Sunday night. He's snoozin' right now, but before that he was already beggin' for McDonald's.
We just want to thank all you guys for your kind words and well wishes. Here's some pics of the whole grizzly scene. My DH, John, went into the operating room until they got Taylor knocked out, hence the gown. 6/2/02 4:30pm
Today marks my 10 month anniversary of this journey. As The Grateful Dead once said "What a long strange trip it's been." Most of what has happend in the last 10 months has been utterly wonderful, but for the last 8 weeks or so I had been feeling very depressed and slipping into old eating patterns.
This slip has been mostly due to personal financial problems and other things, not really related to the weight, but like any addict, I went to my crutch to solve my problems, which doesn't work. It only creates bigger problems. I also started to isolate myself and stay away from the people and things that I know are good for me, because I had so much shame.
Almost 2 weeks ago I decided enough is enough and as much as I hated it, I came back to the places I knew could help me and sought out the help of those who I knew could give me unconditional love and support. I picked myself up by the boot straps, kicked my ass and started the journey again. I went back to basics food wise and with other issues in my life. Somehow with all my eating slips this month, I still managed to squeeze off another 5 lbs. Thank God for this surgery, because other wise it would have been a gain, instead of a loss.
All that being said, I still feel awesome about my weight loss. I want to get down another 55 lbs to get to 150. I don't know if that will happen, but I want to get as close to it as I can. I have had to readjust what my body image is. After having this surgery you get a little greedy about the weight loss, wanting more, more, more. Now, I'm becoming a little more comfortable with myself. I don't have to be a twig to feel like I'm beautiful, sexy and healthy looking. I pretty much feel those things already. I think once I'm able to get this belly taken off with some abdominoplasty (tummy tuck), I will feel better.
I had a nurse at the pediatrician's office ask me "when is the new baby due?" I was crushed. Here I've lost all this weight, but someone still thinks I look pregnant. My darling husband, John, explained to me the reason she asked is because I've lost sooo much weight in my limbs, that the only thing on me that looks chubby is my tummy. I'll take that reasoning. =)
The support group I've started has grown so much. This has become my 3rd child. I'm trying to nurture it into a wonderful resource and support for all that are going through this journey. I am in the midst of doing the paperwork to make us a Non-Profit Organization. Let me tell you it's not easy and I don't have the bucks for a lawyer to help, so I'm learning to do this on my own. I have to be careful, because if it's not done correctly, I have to wait a long time before I can apply again.
A local hospital has asked us to have meetins hosted by their hospital. The want me to run the group and increase the meetings to weekly. We will soon now be having 2 chapters of my group. The one at the hospital and the one at my home. There will be some other chapters coming on board soon. My hopes are to make the group international. There will be a group in every city in the United States. Am I aiming high or what? Lol. I once heard someone say (I'm paraphrasing here) "When you reach for the moon, at the very least you get the stars." That's my philosophy with this. Why not reach for the best the group can be.
I guess that's all for now. I will try not to be a stranger and keep you updated more often. 6/20/02 6:28pm
Oh my God!! I just got an email from Saint Rapheal's BETTER HEALTH Magazine. A freelance writer for them interviewed me for an article a few months ago, on wls. The email is asking me when would be a good time to get together for a photo shoot. They want to include picture of me for their magazine. I'm so hyped over this. I have to lose some more weight by then...LOL. =)
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!! YIKES!!
6/26/02 7:17am
I don't usually write this early in the morning, anymore, but I was so excited I just had to write this down for all the world to see. I've lost 4 lbs this week!!! It's been so hard losing lately, I was feeling lost. But I got back to basics and down 4 lbs. The best part is I'm only 2lbs away from being under 200lbs!!! I'm so thrilled. I've wanted to be under 200 for so long now and it just seemed like my body wanted to hold onto that #2 forever. I'm still in it but so very close.
My bmi is 34.5, which means there is no way I would qualify for this surgeyr anymore. I would actually have to gain weight in order to be able to qualify. That means so very much to me.
I'm hoping to be under 200 by my 11 month anniversary, but if not, I know I will be there by the time I have the photo shoot with St. Raphaels BETTER HEALTH Magazine. I can do it, I can do it!!!
6/27/02 7:14am
Down another pound to 200lbs. Just 1 lb away from being 199 Can I get there by 7/2/02? I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT!!!! 6/30/02 11:27pm
I'm grateful, I'm grateful, I'm sooo, soooo, soooo very grateful!!! Oh, did anyone hear...I'm grateful. What for, you ask? I'll tell ya. John and I took the kids to the beach today. Simple enough, right? Not when I use to weigh 327.5 lbs. Today, we went to this beach we had never been to. We parked and decided to walk to find a good spot...We walked and walked and walked and walked. Normally, looking for a spot would have been walking 20 paces, losing my breath and that's where we stopped.
We found a beautiful spot, that wasn't too overly crowded and set up shop. I had bought a new bathing suit yesterday, size 18 not 4x and I have to say I looked damn good. John just kept telling me how sexy I looked. I ate it up. I went into the water with the kids and played with them for an hour. Then sat on the beach to soak up some sun, without one fear that someone would mistakenly harpoon me.
Finally it was time to go and I remembered how much we had walked to find that spot. Momentarily I thought, "I'll never make it back." Wouldn't you know, I made it back with out batting an eye. I felt good, strong, healthy and for the first time in the longest, truly sexy. So for this, the opportunity to enjoy life, not worry about a thing, play with my children, spend quality time with my husband and to feel like a real human being, I am ever so very grateful!! For any of you who flauder about whether this surgery truly changes your life, I am living proof that it does.
7/27/02 9:37am
Hi everybody!! Oh my God!!! I'm 6 days away from being 1 year postop. (official day 8/2...send cards to [email protected])I can't believe where the year has gone. Here I sit now, working on getting my abdominoplasty the rollercoaster starts again.
I'm thinking about what I want to post about the events of this last year. There are so many I have no clue where to start. My mind and heart are so overwhelmed with the good that has happend. How do you actually express,that your heart feels like it's going to explode from happiness, joy, relief, love. How do you explain to someone what it feels like to be virtually dead and being resurrected?
I look in the mirror and I don't see that fat face anymore and it is so overwhelming. I often have to do a double take. I don't recognize that woman. Who is she? Is this a dream? Will I wake up from this only to find out that this whole year has only been some poorly written night time drama and none of this really has happend? (DALLAS reference there...lol)It's just so very surreal.MUAH! My doctor's office submitted the paperwork for approval of my hernia & abdominoplasty, Tuesday 8/6. I'm told by the insurance company it could take 1 - 2 months for an approval. YIKES!!!! I don't think I'll have a problem with qualifying as I have all the conditions, with the extended belly, my hernia and this gross rash. I've got a surgery date of September 30th, so I'm praying with all my might it will be approved by then. Love and peace to all on this journey. MUAH!!!
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Our son Taylor had to have surgery today for an umbilical hernia. He is just 3.5 years old. I have to say medical science is amazing!! The procedure started at 9am. By 12:30pm we were getting our walking papers. Besides a little soreness, Taylor seems okay. Doc says he should be able to have a bath by Sunday night. He's snoozin' right now, but before that he was already beggin' for McDonald's.
We just want to thank all you guys for your kind words and well wishes. Here's some pics of the whole grizzly scene. My DH, John, went into the operating room until they got Taylor knocked out, hence the gown. 6/2/02 4:30pm
Today marks my 10 month anniversary of this journey. As The Grateful Dead once said "What a long strange trip it's been." Most of what has happend in the last 10 months has been utterly wonderful, but for the last 8 weeks or so I had been feeling very depressed and slipping into old eating patterns.
This slip has been mostly due to personal financial problems and other things, not really related to the weight, but like any addict, I went to my crutch to solve my problems, which doesn't work. It only creates bigger problems. I also started to isolate myself and stay away from the people and things that I know are good for me, because I had so much shame.
Almost 2 weeks ago I decided enough is enough and as much as I hated it, I came back to the places I knew could help me and sought out the help of those who I knew could give me unconditional love and support. I picked myself up by the boot straps, kicked my ass and started the journey again. I went back to basics food wise and with other issues in my life. Somehow with all my eating slips this month, I still managed to squeeze off another 5 lbs. Thank God for this surgery, because other wise it would have been a gain, instead of a loss.
All that being said, I still feel awesome about my weight loss. I want to get down another 55 lbs to get to 150. I don't know if that will happen, but I want to get as close to it as I can. I have had to readjust what my body image is. After having this surgery you get a little greedy about the weight loss, wanting more, more, more. Now, I'm becoming a little more comfortable with myself. I don't have to be a twig to feel like I'm beautiful, sexy and healthy looking. I pretty much feel those things already. I think once I'm able to get this belly taken off with some abdominoplasty (tummy tuck), I will feel better.
I had a nurse at the pediatrician's office ask me "when is the new baby due?" I was crushed. Here I've lost all this weight, but someone still thinks I look pregnant. My darling husband, John, explained to me the reason she asked is because I've lost sooo much weight in my limbs, that the only thing on me that looks chubby is my tummy. I'll take that reasoning. =)
The support group I've started has grown so much. This has become my 3rd child. I'm trying to nurture it into a wonderful resource and support for all that are going through this journey. I am in the midst of doing the paperwork to make us a Non-Profit Organization. Let me tell you it's not easy and I don't have the bucks for a lawyer to help, so I'm learning to do this on my own. I have to be careful, because if it's not done correctly, I have to wait a long time before I can apply again.
A local hospital has asked us to have meetins hosted by their hospital. The want me to run the group and increase the meetings to weekly. We will soon now be having 2 chapters of my group. The one at the hospital and the one at my home. There will be some other chapters coming on board soon. My hopes are to make the group international. There will be a group in every city in the United States. Am I aiming high or what? Lol. I once heard someone say (I'm paraphrasing here) "When you reach for the moon, at the very least you get the stars." That's my philosophy with this. Why not reach for the best the group can be.
I guess that's all for now. I will try not to be a stranger and keep you updated more often. 6/20/02 6:28pm
Oh my God!! I just got an email from Saint Rapheal's BETTER HEALTH Magazine. A freelance writer for them interviewed me for an article a few months ago, on wls. The email is asking me when would be a good time to get together for a photo shoot. They want to include picture of me for their magazine. I'm so hyped over this. I have to lose some more weight by then...LOL. =)
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!! YIKES!!
6/26/02 7:17am
I don't usually write this early in the morning, anymore, but I was so excited I just had to write this down for all the world to see. I've lost 4 lbs this week!!! It's been so hard losing lately, I was feeling lost. But I got back to basics and down 4 lbs. The best part is I'm only 2lbs away from being under 200lbs!!! I'm so thrilled. I've wanted to be under 200 for so long now and it just seemed like my body wanted to hold onto that #2 forever. I'm still in it but so very close.
My bmi is 34.5, which means there is no way I would qualify for this surgeyr anymore. I would actually have to gain weight in order to be able to qualify. That means so very much to me.
I'm hoping to be under 200 by my 11 month anniversary, but if not, I know I will be there by the time I have the photo shoot with St. Raphaels BETTER HEALTH Magazine. I can do it, I can do it!!!
6/27/02 7:14am
Down another pound to 200lbs. Just 1 lb away from being 199 Can I get there by 7/2/02? I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT!!!! 6/30/02 11:27pm
I'm grateful, I'm grateful, I'm sooo, soooo, soooo very grateful!!! Oh, did anyone hear...I'm grateful. What for, you ask? I'll tell ya. John and I took the kids to the beach today. Simple enough, right? Not when I use to weigh 327.5 lbs. Today, we went to this beach we had never been to. We parked and decided to walk to find a good spot...We walked and walked and walked and walked. Normally, looking for a spot would have been walking 20 paces, losing my breath and that's where we stopped.
We found a beautiful spot, that wasn't too overly crowded and set up shop. I had bought a new bathing suit yesterday, size 18 not 4x and I have to say I looked damn good. John just kept telling me how sexy I looked. I ate it up. I went into the water with the kids and played with them for an hour. Then sat on the beach to soak up some sun, without one fear that someone would mistakenly harpoon me.
Finally it was time to go and I remembered how much we had walked to find that spot. Momentarily I thought, "I'll never make it back." Wouldn't you know, I made it back with out batting an eye. I felt good, strong, healthy and for the first time in the longest, truly sexy. So for this, the opportunity to enjoy life, not worry about a thing, play with my children, spend quality time with my husband and to feel like a real human being, I am ever so very grateful!! For any of you who flauder about whether this surgery truly changes your life, I am living proof that it does.
7/27/02 9:37am
Hi everybody!! Oh my God!!! I'm 6 days away from being 1 year postop. (official day 8/2...send cards to [email protected])I can't believe where the year has gone. Here I sit now, working on getting my abdominoplasty the rollercoaster starts again.
I'm thinking about what I want to post about the events of this last year. There are so many I have no clue where to start. My mind and heart are so overwhelmed with the good that has happend. How do you actually express,that your heart feels like it's going to explode from happiness, joy, relief, love. How do you explain to someone what it feels like to be virtually dead and being resurrected?
I look in the mirror and I don't see that fat face anymore and it is so overwhelming. I often have to do a double take. I don't recognize that woman. Who is she? Is this a dream? Will I wake up from this only to find out that this whole year has only been some poorly written night time drama and none of this really has happend? (DALLAS reference there...lol)It's just so very surreal.MUAH! My doctor's office submitted the paperwork for approval of my hernia & abdominoplasty, Tuesday 8/6. I'm told by the insurance company it could take 1 - 2 months for an approval. YIKES!!!! I don't think I'll have a problem with qualifying as I have all the conditions, with the extended belly, my hernia and this gross rash. I've got a surgery date of September 30th, so I'm praying with all my might it will be approved by then. Love and peace to all on this journey. MUAH!!!
About Me
GARNER, NC
Location
38.9
BMI
Surgery
08/02/2001
Surgery Date
Oct 09, 2001
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
Day of surgery
327.5lbs
20months post-op ~150lbs
177lbs
