Life after Surgery....

Jun 09, 2010

SO i haven't even had all my pre-tests done, have not seen the dietitian or the social work yet.... everything is still in the very early stages but as they get closer i think more and more of what my life might be like post op. My life long passionate love affair with food...my love of cooking ...... gummy bears ........ when i try to be positive and think about all the things i WILL be able to do that I can't do now .... I fail and think about the fact that my hubby is still going to be obese and wont be able to do these things with me ---- how will he feel about the new me? how will the new me feel about him? how is it going to affect our relationship... how is it going to affect all the relationships in my life? will i really be any happier? is it going to be all worth it in the long run? I know i will be healthier but does that matter ... will i be a different person on the inside? by then i might still have no job, my dog (she is sick) might be dead my life might not be any different I'll just be skinnier -- what if there are complications...i might not be healthier at all...I might be dead or worse so sick i wish I was dead...what if my husband can't adjust to the changes well....just so many what ifs its driving me crazy .....  Guess I am just kinda depressed today ... feeling alone in all this ... .. i think joining this group might help.... give me a chance to share my journey and fears with others experiencing the same journey.

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