It's been a looooooooong looooooooong ride...

Sep 25, 2008

Hello Peeps!
I know it's been a very long time since I updated my profile... but today I felt the urge... LOL.
Anyways... here it goes.
When I lost aaaaaaall that weight and had the illusion aaaaaaall my problems were gone (so let's make some more right?) I thought I was on top of the world. I thought NOTHING could touch me or derail me from my path to bliss. WRONG.
For those of you who are new or didn't even have surgery yet I would like to let you know that yes... life does get a lot easier without all the extra weight. But it still comest at you FAST.
I always read about how people lose so much weight they look like "supermodels" and then they bounce back a little. IT IS NORMAL... but I thought it would not happen to me. Well guess what... it did. I gained about 20lbs back from my lowest, which I still consider a SUPER success. But the hardest thing for me was to make peace with those 20lbs and be happy knowing I'm much much better off today than I was 5 years ago.
Last week I finally had my lower body lift and arms done. I am absolutely AMAZED at the results... and I'm so glad I waited to have the surgery until my weight was well stabilized.
In about 3 or 4 months I'm going back for my tights and breasts... and I just can't wait!
I'm still married... my kids are still the most awesome kids in the universe and life is going forward.
We finally bought a house, which is so much more than I expected to get...
Marriage is still constant work and vigilance. For those of you who believe in God I can say this... Family is THE number one thing in His list... and it's also the number one thing in the "you know who's" list...
Things are good... and I'm always working for them to get better.
I only have great things to say about this website.
You guys were the path I followed (together with my support group) to get where I am today... since I had my surgery in Brazil and had 99% of my information/support from you guys and my PCP after I got back to the US.
Thank you so much for all the friendship, understanding, happiness and grief counseling that was offered to me when I needed the most.
I love you all... YOU my friends are the only ones who really know what it is like to have been like me...and still what's like to BE like me.
Peace... Paola

He's gone...

Feb 18, 2007

Last week, on Valentine's day...Bob killed himself. The pain is great...and I feel like part of me is gone with him. 
I thank God every day that I have HIM to help me through life. 
How sad...how stupid...what a waste of an AWESOME guy...
Pray for him...and for us who stayed behind...wondering why...

My Weight loss chart

Aug 04, 2006


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Here is how my weight loss went:

03/27/04: 265lbs
04/14/04: 244lbs (-21lbs)
04/22/04: 237.5lbs (-6.5lbs)
05/05/04: 230lbs (-7.5lbs)
05/17/04: 223.5lbs (-6.5lbs)
05/26/04: 220.5lbs (-3lbs)
06/15/04: 211lbs (-9.5lbs)
This is when I started exercising (yes it does make a difference!)
07/18/04: 201lbs (-10lbs)
08/13/04: 192lbs (-9lbs)
09/12/04: 181lbs (-11lbs)
10/14/04: 174.5lbs (-6.5lbs)
11/13/04: 168lbs (-6.5lbs)
12/13/04: 165lbs (-3lbs)
(Yikes! I'm stuck...but that's ok...not much else to lose and I'm working as hard as I can!)
01/13/05: 161lbs (-4lbs)
02/18/05: 158lbs (-3lbs)
06/16/05: 156lbs (-2lbs after some gaining/losing I'm back on track)
07/23/05: 154lbs...slowly but surely :)
11/27/05: These days my weight goes up and down about 5lbs...depending on what's happening in my life.
My body seems to like to stay at 160lbs.
Which I'm quite content with, since a lot of it is muscle :)
Now I just need my plastic surgery!
06/21/06: 157 and some more muscles...LOL
08/03/06: 152 geez...I swear I'm not trying...but I'm happy the scale is moving the right direction :)

My summer

Aug 02, 2006

August 3rd, 2006
This has been a busy summer...and a fun one. I just got back from 10 days in Arizona with the kids...we visited the house they were born in...and it was quite emotional. Their bedrooms are still EXACTLY the same. All the hard work we put in painting, changing the floors, breastfeeding my babies...it all came back to me. It was amazing to say the least.
Now my husband left for Korea and Japan...it's 10:30pm...I'm exhausted from taking care of the kids by myself...but it's the best feeling knowing I can do it alone. They are very well taken care of...and loved.
When Rob gets back my sisters and I are going to Europe to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday...it's HER gift to US...LOL...I'm soooooooo excited I could scream!!!
But what I really wanted to tell you guys...is that it has been almost 2 and a half years from my surgery...and every day I look in the mirror I can see and feel that my body is still changing. My skin is still tightening...and amazingly I just lost another 10lbs...just from keeping up with the food...not messing it up as often. The few times I did/do kick the bucket have been very thought out. I did it consciously...not on impulse. And went right back to the "program." So as a result my body is looking amazing. Of course I still need my plastic surgery...but I'll tell you...I'm SUPER happy with the results of all my HARD WORK.
So for all you people who are over 2 years out and have lost hope that things can still get better...take a look at my pictures...and get your behinds to a gym. It is THE ONLY WAY to get things going...and KEEP them going.
Anyway...enough tooting my horn...ROFL...
Peace...P.

I'm me again

Jun 20, 2006

June 21st, 2006
Whew...I finally feel like myself again. Everything in my life (besides love) is back to where it's supposed to be. That's when I feel the strongest. No turmoil. Food under control, emotions under control, exercise under control. Even if my love life is miserable it's a lot easier to deal with it when the rest is going good.
Thanks so much to those of you who wrote me concerned about my well being. Sorry if I didn't answer all your emails...you're great and just knowing you care makes a HUGE difference.
I just got back from Brazil. Went for my other sister's wedding...had a SUPER BLAST!
I'm posting some new pictures...and changing the music video :)
Love Ya'll...Paola

My upcoming anniversary

Mar 23, 2006

March 24th, 2006
My second anniversary is fast approaching...3 more days. This has been a tough week. A lot of stuff happening...I didn't have time to go to the gym a single day...therefore I feel like crap.
Emotionally I don't feel much better either...I'm ok I guess...but bored, unhappy, etc. Sometimes I wish life would just move FASTER! But I guess if there is ONE lesson I'm here to learn it is PATIENCE. Not sure I'm making great progress...maybe I'll live til I'm 100...just to advance a little in that department...LOL...
I finally sent out all the paperwork needed to get my EMT licence...now the fun part...waiting...
I've been feeling lonely...besides my kids (which I thank God for) I don't think I can count on one single person. But then I've learned that lesson a long time ago. I miss Tucson terribly...I miss my best friend who lives in New York and my very good friends in Arizona. I miss the sun, I miss being happy and in love. I miss being excited about every little thing. Can't wait to feel that way again...I miss my cornflakes too...

My visit from mom

Feb 20, 2006

February 21st, 2006
My mom is visiting from Brazil. I don't think I know a single person in the world who is meaner and uglier inside than her. I have no idea why I even keep trying to please her. There is no such thing. What a sad way to go through life. I am SO glad I moved away from her and am raising my kids away from her I can't even begin to tell you.
Physically I'm doing well...I'm really glad I'm on anti-depressants or this visit could be a lot worse. God help me...it's the LAST time she stays at my house. I am not taking any more crap from her. Yes I'm angry...angrier than I can put it in words...but it's a feeling all too familiar to me. I grew up with this person. I'm just glad I have two sisters who think the same way I do...
that way I don't think I'm the crazy one.
For sure I know what made me eat my way through life...I've always known...but now I'm really positive...a bad parent can surely screw up your life.
I know I'm old enough to stop blaming my parents for my failures...and I've done that a long time ago. However...I know that if my mother had treated me the way I treat my children I wouldn't have half the emotional problems I have...maybe not even obesity. I also know I would not be as beautiful inside as I am today if I hadn't gone through hell and back...
so there...water under the bridge...made me stronger :-)
Now let's go take on the day...
Love (yes I have lots of it in my heart), Paola

Such a good day

Feb 03, 2006

February 4th, 2006
Today was a VERY good day...that's all I have to say...oh and I passed the National Registry this week...so I can apply to be an EMT and start working! YAY!!! ...Image hosted by Photobucket.com

My little update

Jan 31, 2006

February 1st, 2006
It's been a while...I haven't felt like sharing my feelings lately...
Life is ok...kinda boring at the moment. I feel like I'm in this "limbo" and waiting for something to happen. Waiting for my National Registry test score, waiting for my plastic surgery, waiting for my heart to stop hurting, waiting for spring, waiting for love...to be happy again. I know it's all coming and all going to fall into place. Problem is...it's so hard to wait in peace. I waste so much energy just thinking about all this stuff...and really there's not much I can do to make things happen any faster. I wish I had more serenity...but maybe that's how we learn to be serene. Waiting...

Image hosting by PhotobucketOne verse comes to mind..."TO EVERY THING...THERE IS A SEASON, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love (hi Lindo!), and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Love, Paola

My poor baby

Jan 08, 2006

January 9th, 2006
Boy let me tell you what happened yesterday...my Sunday started at 3am with Bella throwing up...had to give her a bath and do a load of laundry...yes at 3am. So when I woke up Rob told me to leave Bella with him and take Ben to church...so I did
On my way back from church this @$$*&%^$^# lady pulls out of nowhere from a parking lot...to avoid hitting her I swerved to the left and hit another car...which ended up on the other side of the road! Thank GOD nobody got hurt...the lady got a ticket and will have to pay for both cars to be repaired...but still
Then we were going to go out for lunch...but Bella was still ing...so I told Rob to take Ben...and stayed home with Bella. I'm not kidding you...she threw up over 30 times yesterday...so we took her to urgent care. They could only see her at 8pm. We got there and she right at the reception So they put her on an IV. I told Rob I couldn't hold her...that he would have to do it while they put the IV on...and then gave her a shot to stop all the vomiting. The whole office could hear her scream...and when I went in the room
after they were done Rob was shaking and crying...
holding her...it broke my heart.
To make things extra special I got home and my answering machine (which is built into my phone system) had passed away...dead...
Sooooooooo...today is a brand new day...and in the name of Jesus it's going to be a GREAT one!
Ok...my weekend wasn't all bad...my friend Julie (we met at the OH convention in Denver) came down to go hiking with me...then we hit the bead store...then she spent some time at my home watching the 40 y/o virgin...which cracks me up!
That's Jules and I up there :)

Tonight I found this written in Bryan's profile...I like what it says...so I'm guilty of plagiarism :)
"Do not be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings and wait."
I bid you LOVE...P

About Me
Colorado Springs, CO
Location
23.1
BMI
May 08, 2004
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
At heaviest (1999)
About 280lbs
In a cave in Arizona (July 2006)
155 lbslbs

Friends 22

Latest Blog 29
It's been a looooooooong looooooooong ride...
He's gone...
My Weight loss chart
My summer
I'm me again
My upcoming anniversary
My visit from mom
Such a good day
My little update
My poor baby

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