3 Months Out

Apr 12, 2009

Hello All!

Well yesterday was 3 months out for me.  The scale read 203.5 - I am getting so close to onderland, I can't believe it, it has been about 9 years since the scale was under 200.  Easter went really well.  It was so nice for me that the focus was not on food for the first time in a long time.  I focused on my kids, my family and helping my mom in the kitchen.  Not one piece of candy or food that I shouldn't be eating passed my lips and I didn't even want it.  Not like holidays in the past when I was on a diet and resisted temptation and was cranky and then broke down and gorged on food later when everyone was sleeping.  I guess what I am trying to say is that this new "tool" of mine has made all the difference in my life.  For this I will be forever grateful. 

I went for my 3 month follow up on Friday, all my levels looked good except for my b12.  I am not as dedicated as I need to be with taking my vitamins and this has to change now.  Dr. Sadik seemed pleased with my progress.  I told him I was only averaging about 500 calories a day, he seemed to be fine with that number.  It still sounds low to me.  The biggest struggle I have now is not wanting to eat at all or starting to eat something I think I want and losing interest 3 bites in.   Food seems to have lost all meaning to me and for someone who used to be preoccupied with food 24/7 - it is a very strange sensation.
Should I just be grateful or worried?  I am really not sure.  Is this a phase like so many others I have been through in the last 3 months.  Right after surgery, I thought what did I do to myself, I cried and then it passed.  Then I struggled with head hunger and resentment over what I could not eat and then it passed.  I struggled with a stall and worried I would be someone this surgery did not work for and that passed too.  If anyone out there can offer and experience or input, I would appreciate it very much.  Maybe I'll post on the main board as well.

All and all I am doing great.  ALL areas of my life have improved dramatically over the past 3 months.  I can't wait to see what the next 3 months brings.

I hope you are all feeling good.

Debbie

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