Jane M.

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Well, I'm doing good. I have had some food sensitivity issues related to allergies that have basically caused me to cut out a lot of stuff from my diet. No wheat, milk, soy, nuts or any sugar of any kind. At least this will help me maintain my weight. I gained some pounds during the holidays and found out I'm low on Zinc, B-5, B-6, B-12 and because I cna't have most dairy, I had to up my calcium Citrate to 1800 MG a day. Oy Vey, the supplements are piling up. I'm also on natural treatments for a Parasite I picked up while overseas. The stuff makes me nauseated like morning sickness. I thought I was gonna puke in the middle of Macy's Shoe Dept yesterday. I found I have to eat something about an hour before taking my pills or else that's how I feel.

I see my PS tomorrow to talk about my Left Boob.  My thin is so thin on my breast that my implants are poking through at least on the left side. We have to do one more surgery to correct it. He's going to put in cadaver tissue to strengthen my own tissue. Kinda yucky just to think about it but I think it's my only recourse to fix this problem. MY Right leg still has the hard spot on it. He can fix that in the office, I think. It sucks but It was worth it. I'm using Viamin E oil and coconut oil on the scars and they have completely flattened out. You just have to make sure you put it on several times a day.

As for my personal life, It's good. Still with my boyfriend. It will be a year in May. We are going out to a beautiful restaurant for Valentine's day. I want to make it special. I'm so glad he came into my life. I adore him. We are very suited to each other in every way. Internet dating does work folks!!

Well my friends, I've had some complications with my right thigh. It got worse before it's gotten better. I've had to have it aspirated every 6 days for the last 4 weeks. My doc decided to cut a 1/2 inch incision to let it fully decompress (2 inflamed lymph nodes). It was good for a few days then 2 days before Thanksgiving started hurting, swelled and was very angry looking. I started antibiotics and spent most of my days with ice packs or warm compresses on it. It's better now. I am most likely going to have to have my inner thighs revised. I'm not happy about this, but I was tld it could be a possibility when I signed my consent papers. It's sucks, but what can you do?

One side effect of being under anesthesia so much in a short time, is memory loss. MY short term memory has been terrible of late. So much so that I'm starting to take Brain and Liver function vitamins to help me. I have my Medical Coders Certification Exam on December 29th and I need all the help I can get. This is a big deal for me.  18 months of school to get to this point.  It's not an easy exam. 40% of the people who take it fail the first time around. that's a huge percentage. No wonder we get paid well!

So, mom is very sick now. She has lost a lot o weight. 40 pounds since September. the cancer is going to take her from me. Her options fr medicine is running out. The only good thing is that it has not invaded her organs but the cancer is quite extensive. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on her plight. Cancer sucks. Plain and simple. When you watch your loved ones suffering, it hurts you too. I'm not worried about me in the end. I'm worried about my son. He lost his grandpa and his daddy at age 7. Now is grandma who is a second mom to him. She's my co-parent. The poor kid has seen more than enough death and sickness than any child should at his age. It's reall effected him. He's a very smart kid with a high IQ, but he's not doing well in school. I think he's really worried about losing his grandma. I feel very bad for him.  He's all I'm going to have left in this world and all I want to do is protect him, but it's not possible in this situation. Heck, If I didn't have Perry to talk to, I would go insane. I can vent to him and he listens. I'm lucky I found him.

I've gained a bit of weight recently, not enough to freak out about, but enough to bother me. I admit, it's emotional eating. Cookies, candy etc. I'm getting back on track this week. 80 grams of Protein, 100 oz of water a day and 4 days of exercise a week. It's my formula and I'm sticking to it!

Well, I'm a week post op from my last plastics round. Not doing so good this time. I've had some complications but not anything that I can't get through. I had a build up of excess blood and clots in my right leg. I had to go in the day after surgery and have a clot suctioned out of my groin. Lovely, I assure you it was not! Then today I had to go back because I started gushing old blood from the same thigh. It was probably close to a pint of old blood stuck in me. So I have to massage my legs twice a day to get any excess clots out. I will not be doing any more surgery for quite awhile. I only have my arms left, and I'm tried to bulk them up through weightlifting.
I do not regret any of my surgeries. I wish I had never gotten to the point that I needed WLS to lose weight and then having the excess skin afterward. But I just think that because of it all, I'm a better person in the end. I have so much empathy and sympathy for people now. I see obese people on the street and a small part of me wants me to help them, but I know that this is a decision that people have to make for themselves.
I am now over 3 years post-op. It's hard to believe that. It actually feels like a long time ago when in reality it was not. My life have changed significantly since that day I was wheeled into surgery. For better and for worse. I lost a lot along the way. I'm not just talking about weight. But I think in many ways I discovered the real me underneath all that fat.

Ok, I had my Medial Thigh Lift and Breast Implant exchange on Monday October 1st.  Surgery went well. Went home and had to go back the next day because I had what I thought was a rather large hemotoma forming in my groin area. Turned out it was a huge clot of clood and fluid and I had to have it sucked out. He numbed me first and then did some digging around in me. I immediately felt better.

This surgery has kicked my butt.  I can't sit down. Walking is tough. when they split open and filet your thighs!! Think bad Zombie movie walk. Really...it's just like that.  Sitting on the toilet is next to impossible and I feel like sex may never happen again. I don't want anyone going anywhere remotely near my crotch for awhile. I'm not kidding.

On a high note, I finally got my boobs fixed the way I wanted them to be. High, Full projection and soft and natural. I went with the Inamed Cohesive Gels in the 410 FX Model. these puppies are awesome. Very expensive though and since you can only get them through the clinical trials, not available to everyone. He did an awesome job and can't wait for the months to pass by to see my end result. It takes about 6 months for the implants to drop and fluff and stabilize. Not a lot of women know this. You have to be patient with the boobies. they will look funny for awhile but then you will start to see suttle changes as time goes by.

I will state this..I will not be doing anymore plastics for a longgggg time. I am done. Surgery is hard on you physically and mentally. I just started crying the other night for no reason at all. It's the surgery, not me!!!  Makes my hormones nuts, my skin break out and makes me moody. I'm very bitchy right now about a lot of stuff. Can't help it. It's a good thing my boyfriend is patient with me. I told him, you have now seen me at my worst. Hey, he still loves me!!!

I have my 3rd round of plastics and hopefully last round next Monday October 1st. this is it. I still want my arms done, just want to wait ans see if laser technology improves for a non-invasive procedure for arms.

So I'm having a medial Thighplasty and removal of my saline implants and replacement with Gummie Bear implants. I will be apart of the Inamed Cohesive Gel Implant study and will get paid to come in for the next ten years. They will also pay for a MRI if necessary. These are the "Rolls Royces" of implants. Pricey, natural looking and feeling and they have been used in Europe for some time with great success. I have never been happy with my boob job. Mainly because of the shape and feel of them. they did start to sag again. I think I will finally be happy after the implant exchange. Wider in width, contoured and textured to keep them in place.  The thighplasty is gonna be a bitch to deal with. I understand this is the worst of the lot. Yeah, I would leave the most painful for last. I least I know what to expect now. The Lower Trunk lift had some healing issues but I learn to deal with it rather well. I will not rake leaves 8 days after surgery...I promise.LOL

So I go in early monday to the Plastic Surgery Center. I have great faith in my Surgeon. He's fantastic and knows what he is doing!!! He's not the cheapest, but I guess you get what you pay for!!

I have gained some muscle weight. I've been doing some weightlifting in my arms and leg areas. But my size has not changed so that's good. I look healthier now. I think I got too skinny for awhile. My mom was concerned, but you know moms. My boyfriend doesn't complain. Ahh...he's a sweetheart. I think he's my good karma for all the bad things I've suffered. My dark angel, my partner, my love. He is going to care for me for the first few days after surgery. His house is more conducive to rest. My mom was upset that she was not going to have me at home. But between the phone constantly ringing, the dogs barking, Dylan banging the door and the street noise, it's just not restful at all. Besides, I have a king sized bed, a bathroom in short distance an a TV and Laptop at my disposal. Quiet country air will aid in my healing.

So, I had this lady write me the other day telling me that I was selfish for having so much plastic surgery. WTF! It's non of your business lady. This fomer fat chick doesn't give a flying Monkey's ass what you think. and yeah, I am selfish. Selfish enough to cash in some investments so my mom can get cancer treatment not covered by insurance. Selfish enough that I regularly donate time and money to a local wildlife foundation. Selfish enough that I spent ten years, "Yes dearing" a man and sacrificing my career because he wouldn't let me work for a living. Yeah, I'm selfish. I spent ten years unhappy because I gave up everything. It's my turn. So screw you....

Yes, I'm getting out the Urban jungle and moving to a horse property in Williamsburg. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him and since I spend most of my time up at his place it just makes sense. It's kind of out in the country but close enough to retail shopping that it's not so bad. I'm thrilled to get out of Hampton. the schools are good up there too. I will miss being by the ocean though, it's the one thing I love about where I live. I'll also be much further away from my friends which sucks. But I'm in love, so it's all worth it.

mom has decided that since I'm moving out, she is going to sell the house this spring and move to Massachusetts. I hate the thought of being so far away from her, but she wants to be near her sisters. Looks like lots of trips up North for me.  Dylan is not happy about moving so I'm gradually getting him used to the idea. Being away from the comforts of his surroundings and his grandma is a hard thing for him. He's had so much change in his life that instability does not settle well with him. Making new friends and starting a new school is tough for kids. It can have a  effect that can last forever. I know that when we moved around as a military family I always wished we could be normal and just live in one place. Hopefully this will be a permanent change. I'm happy for once in my life. I was always a person who got shortchanged in happiness, I deserve it now. I have so much more confidence in myself and my abilities. I've finally come into my own.
You know being heavy can sometimes make you feel like you are not worthy of happiness. I know that I settled for a lot of things in my life. I will not do that anymore. Being fat does not make you unworthy. The deep stigma attached with obesity is more in the mind of the obese person. We perceive things differently that thinner people. I still think that it was harder getting over the "fat" mindset than it was to lose all the weight I lost. It was not until I was down to 150 pounds that I realized that I still thought of myself as a fat person. It took some cathartic events in my life to make me change my way of thinking.

Remember the obstacle before us are often made in our minds. With weight loss comes confidence but you have to use that new found confidence to truly make a change in your life through your mental attitude.

Still maintaining within 5 lbs. It seems to go up and down everyday but overall I'm very happy and wearing size 4's and sometimes 2's. I'm a bit of a health freak now. I've even finally quit smoking for good. The Nicotine patch did it for me this time.

I spent 15 days this summer in Europe with my mom and 8 year old and had an amazing time sightseeing and shopping. One thing I noticed was that Europeans are not fat despite the fatty foods. It's all the walking they do that keeps the pounds off. I walked my little butt off the whole time and ate whatever I wanted. I did gain three pounds but have since dropped it by going back to my "regular" diet.

Life is good for once. I feel like things are going my wy despite dealing with mom's illness. I have faced up to the fact that she i eventually going to leave this earth. I've accepted it even though it's hard to imagine my life without her.

I've been seriously dating the same man for the last 2 months. He's wonderful to me and is also a health nut. He treats me like gold. I will be moving in with him sometime before the end of the year to a horse property in Williamsburg, VA. I plan on finishing my studies because I only have one class left and then my exam. I'd like to work from home. The property is huge and needs someone to help take care of it. I also am going back to the thing I love the most with his full support. Glass working. I am setting up a fusing studio in his garage and hopefully be able to eek out a living. He supports me 100%. I love him dearly. Best thing that has happened to me in a long time. Sometimes I feel like he's my good karma for all the bad things that have happened to me. My reward for enduring multiple tragedies.

I am officially in the "Double Century" club. 200 lbs lost. I went from my highest of 328 to now my lowest at 127 lbs. I'm done losing. No more. I'm bordering on too thin but I'm very happy. I have a wonderful new boyfriend who treats me like a princess and he doesn't care that I was once heavy and that I've had plastic surgery with still one more round to go. I've had men totally run away when I tell them all that I've been through.They were not worth my time or effort. The man I'm seeing is wonderful and caring. We met online a few months back and I had no romantic intentions toward him at all and then I ran across his profile on match.com not knowing it was my friend from myspace. We met for coffee and the rest is history. We hit it off immediately.  I'm in such a good place now in my life. I have had so much tragedy and pain that maybe I'm finally being rewarded for all the hell I've been through. Karma.

I get asked over and over what my secret to success is. I will tell you that my secret is determination, discipline and still following the rules. My 3 year anniversary is at the end of the summer. My last plastics will be soon over and then I think that I will finally feel "done". I don't eat junk, I don't drink any kind of soda (not even diet), I stay away from processed foods and I always eat protein first, veggies second and then a bite or two of carbs. I tend to stick with healthy food. I don't watch my calories but I still watch my sugar intake and stay away from fatty foods. I use common sense. It's not easy sometimes, but I have found through my new found discipline, that resistance is much easier now.  It's all in the training. Spending tons of money on plastics has also been a great incentive. I did not go through two painful surgeries that I paid out-of-pocket for to go back to my old ways. It's always in the back of my mind when chosing the foods I eat. 

I do get "too skinny" commens form time to time. These are usually from people that have known me as a fat girl. It's difficult for them to see you any other way. It scares them, maybe makes them a bit jealous. I tell them to get over it!!! I love wearing a size 3-4. I love shopping for clothes now! I pamper myself and I make no excuses for it. I ignored myself for so long that it's now my turn.

Well, I'm wearing size 2's, 3's and 4's now. Yeah, that's right. I'm a officially a "skinny bitch". LOL. I'll have to take some pics because I have a difficult time even seeing myself this thin. The other day I was walking along and saw my shadow and was womdering who walking behind me. I didn't even realize that I was that thin. 

the thing is, I'm struggling to keep the weight on. I just have no desire for food. Yeah, I still like to eat but when you order food at a restaurant and can barely eat 1/4 of it, it makes it not even worth it. Both of my docs told me to not lose anymore. As a matter of fat my PS said that gaining about 5 pounds will do me some good. I just can't do it! I have come this far, I'm not going back to being fat no matter what. 

So, I have decided to just try to maintain. I'm keeping a protein bar with me at all times so that I can remember to eat. Yes, I do forget from time to time. I saw 128 pounds the other day. That's 200 lbs lost people. But now I'm back at 130 which is actually a relief. I ideally need to be 135 because of my big bones.

Here's a problem that I thought would never happen...I can't find freaking pants to fit my skinny, flat butt. The only brand that fits me is the brand at Pacsun which is made for Juniors. I guess Juniors have no ass, cause I certainly don't.

So what's the secret to my success? I don't eat junk (though I do indulge occassionally), I drink my water, take my vitamins and I try to stay active. I really eat whateever I want to without guilt. My pouch is still very small and I'm thankful for that. So what do I eat now at almost 3 yrs PO.....anything except sugar. I even eat some fried foods occassionally as long as they are cooked in canola or olive oil. I try to eat protein and veggies. I still eat bread, crackers etc. But I still have to watch the salt content because I blow up like a whale.

Just remember, if you have one bad eating day it is not the end of the world. Start fresh tomorrow!

Alright, 2 weeks after my 2nd round I am now down to 136 pounds. I was 145 The day of surgery. That's 9 pounds in 14 days. Ok, 3 pounds of pure skin was removed and then a little bit of lipo. Not enough to make me drop this kind of weight. Then it hit me. I haven't been eating. I forget to! I've had my head in the clouds lately and I need to come back to reality. So, right now I am not only below my personal goal, but my docs original goal weight which was 138. I'm glad I have a little room to breathe now , just incase I gain some weight back. I am eating a decent dinner and still a protein shake for breakfast, but I really need to increase my caloric intake by at least 500 more a day. Maintaining is harder than you Think. I never imagined that I would be this thin ever in my life. I think I weighed this much in 4th grade. But I'm ready to stop the train!


So, with my smaller size, I went shopping for Spring clothes today and had to buy all my cotton shorts in a size 4! Hellooo? What? I still need 6's  in jeans. But khakis and dress slacks I need the magic 4. This is so unfathomable to me. Blows my mind completely. I was actually crying with glee in the dressing room. The sales associate who was helping was giddy too when I told her how much weight I've lost. NY & co had 50% off everything in the store. I got an entire spring wardrobe-17 items for $250. Bermuda shorts, jeans, nice blouses and shirts and cami tops. I'm ready for the warm weather!


Waiting for Spring!!!!!