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WOW!!  I can't believe it's been a year since my last post.  MY BAD!  LOL  Anyhoo. . . I've done a lot this year.  I've gone down from a size 24/26 pants to a 12.  I can even squeeze into some size 10's but not comfortably yet.  But hey it's the little things that keep us going, right?  I've also been shopping exclusively in "normal" stores.  No more plus sizes for me.  I'm a little sad to be out of Torrid because I love their clothes but I'm happy to not to only dress at specialty size type stores.  I still haven't expanded my wardrobe the way I want it but once I level off and maintain I plan on it.  I'm assuming I have around 25 - 30 lbs left before I hit normal weight for my height.  I'm really excited about it.  I'm hoping to lose that before summer is in full swing but the beginning of fall at the latest.

These holidays I didn't over indulge the way I did last year.  I was determined not to have a significant weight gain.  I'm sure I did but I think I also got rid of it just as fast.

Ok so these last two months went really, really fast for me.  We went home for Thanksgiving.  Man what a long drive!  Also we had Christmas dinner (I cooked) at our house and went to a New Year's Eve party at a friend's house.  Between Thanksgiving and Christmas it was non-stop store hopping gathering gifts for the kids.  Whoever said it is easy to buy for a girl since you are a girl is WRONG!  I had a hardest time trying to find gifts for my daughter that were age appropriate and that would actually be played with beyond Christmas Day.  My son is easy Transformers galore.  LOL  Unfortunately during all this chaos I didn't work out as needed but I did try to make sure my eating was on track.  And it payed off... I lost 8 lbs since the beginning of November.  I know it's low but hey it's great considering I gained last year and that I didn't work out.  I called my hubby and told him about it and I confessed that my workouts weren't there but I did try to eat right and hey I lost.  He told me he noticed and that I should keep up the good work.  It made me smile.  It goes to show that the little things in lfe can make you happy.  Just think when I first started this journey my hubby would yell and lecture about how I'm not working out every single day and tell me about all the stuff that I'm not doing.  Now that he sees that I'm doing it my own way and it's working all he can do is tell me to keep it up.  I knew there was a happy medium in there somewhere.

Ok so I haven't been on the site for a very very long time.  I haven't been slacking.  Well I will admit I've had my good days and my bad days.  Right now I'm at 235.  My doc says I'm doing better than he expected for my year weight loss.  Also I'm getting ready for the ball again.  Yep it's that time of the year.  Work, Gym, and Home are the 3 dominate items in my life right now.  I'm trying to do everything I can to keep busy.  I'll post later.  I promise.

Okay so I had an appointment with my doc.  I got some restriction put back in my band.  All was well until the next day.  I didn't have any complication...I got into a car accident.  I tried drinking some water to calm me down after my accident but then I couldn't hold anything down.  I'd swallow a sip and a minute later it would come right back up.  My doc says it could just be from the stress of the accident making my body do weird things because my band is where it is supposed to be.  I'm okay considering that I was rear ended and propelled forward into another vehicle.  Thankfully no one was hurt.  Anyhoo back to my rant...So I go to the ER after I was released from the scene and they get ahold of my doc and since I can't keep anything down he takes all my fluid out.    I was so disappointed.  I thought he could take a half a cc or a whole one.  Not all of it.  Now I have to wait until I can get another appointment before I can get any restriction.  So until I can see him again I'm on my own.  I'm so upset.  Because of this accident I lost my restriction.    I'll  be okay though.  I just have to be more vigilante as to how much I'm eating.  That's my downfall.

Zoe and my hubby went to their first Father/Daughter Dance.  She felt like such a big girl.  When they left the house she couldn't stop grinning.




Emery and I went to our first Mother/Son Day at the Diamond.  It was hot and I was roasting but I had a blast with my baby!

Today I went to Dr. McDevitt's office to get some restriction back.  I'm so happy to see that since my last appointment (which was almost 2 weeks ago) I only gained 2 lbs.  YEAH!!!!!  I was so prepared to see that I had gained like up to 10 lbs but I didn't.  I defintely had a smile on my face.  He put more saline in my band and now I'm back from nothing to having about 5 cc's in my band.  I'm on liquids/soft foods until this weekend.  I plan on taking it easy anyway.  I mean it's Mother's Day weekend!  You know I'm going to pamper myself.  LOL

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHER'S AND MOTHER'S TO BE!!!

Well yesterday I had a hell of a day!  First of all I couldn't hold down my food.  I was puking and couldn't stop even when I had nothing in my stomach.  I couldn't even drink water without feel sick.  I called Cathy and she got me in to see the people in angio.  Well that doc said my port was flipped.  He even gave me a shot to numb the spot where he would stick me and I seriously think I had some sort of allergic reaction.  Now that I look back it wasn't until he gave me that I started having shortness of breath and my back and side really started to ache.  I couldn't get comfortable.  Then Cathy got me into see a doctor in McDevitt's office.  Bless Dr. Tober!  He got in the port no problem and pulled out all the saline I had.  I felt so much better.  I know I wasn't overfilled because Cathy, Dr. McDevitt, and Joyce all said that I was eating the right amount.  (I few days before I was complaining that I wasn't eating enough.)  They all seem to think I had a stomach virus that is going around.  But OMG!  I felt like I was going to puke my insides out because that's what was left in me.  When the doc was done Cathy gave me some water and it was the best water I ever tasted.  I drank water and broth for the rest of the day.  I feel a lot better now.  I haven't gotten all my energy back to normal but that will come with time.  Right now I need to concentrate on not over eating and falling back into bad habits.  Keep my eye on the goal!  I'm hoping to, at the very least, maintain.  Hey if I can lose a pound or 2 during this time of no restriction that I need to have a ticker tape parade!  We'll see how everything goes while I'm TAD next week.  With all those restaurants around I know temptation will be even harder to resist but I have a game plan.  I'm going to get some protein powder to mix up in my hotel room and I'm going to go by the commissary to get food for the week.  The easiest way not to stray is to make it yourself.

   

Can you believe how much my body has changed in 7 months!  I'm so excited about my results so far and can't wait until I reach my goal.

So it's easy to get motivated when everything is going good.  You work out, eat right, and lose weight.  Sounds like an easy plan to stick to doesn't it?  Well it's not the case with me all the time.  My workouts are on point but I haven't lost any weight since my last appointment.  I have 2 choices for the reason this is happening... 1 - I've hit a plateau or 2 - I'm eating more than I am working off.  I'm thinking it's a combination of both but more of number 2.  For some reason I go to the doctor and see how much I've lost since my last appointment and I get all excited and tingly and then I just forget to watch what I eat for a few days because I'm in this cloud of "I've lost X amount of pounds" and everything else is thrown to the wayside until I come down.  Why do I do this to myself you may ask.  I've come to believe that because of my past experiences of losing and gaining weight I've never had a time in my life that I've lost and it stays off.  Due to that pattern I relish the times that I do lose weight and I just focus on that.  I truly need to change that and always have the ultimate goal directly in front of my mind's eye.  My husband has even brought this to my attention on numerous occasions and I know he's getting sick of repeating himself.  He says whenever he brings it to my attention I get defensive.  Now that I think about it I notice that he brings it to my attention when I'm still in that euphoria of "I've lose X amount of pounds" and I think he's not trying to focus on that but what I haven't done.  I have to make sure I don't fight him on it when he does.  I know he comes from a place of love and he wants me to succeed.  Believe me I want to succeed as well.  I have a thin, healthy body just waiting to come out.  

Maybe I need another fill or maybe not.  I'm going to attempt to write down my food portions (I'm bad at keeping track of my food intake) for a week and see how much I am actually eating.  Maybe this will help me gauge if I should ask for another fill or if I should just cut down on my portions.  Wait I guess I need a fill but I'm not sure if I should get one or not.  I have to think about it.  I'm sure I didn't explain myself fully in those previous sentences so those who are reading this can understand what I am trying to say.  Please know that as I type I have random thoughts going through my head.  I come up with my best theories that way.  Anyhoo, I went off on a tangent but getting back to the issue at hand...  I need to fight off this level of complacency that I feel whenever I lose any amount of weight.  I need to let it drive me to lose even more and even more and even more until the next thing I know I've reached my ultimate goal.  I'm trying to be at 200 lbs by my bandiversary and by my doctor's weight loss chart I have a little over 60 lbs to go.  I think I can do it.  Scratch that... I KNOW I can do it.

I have another appointment in May so we'll see how that goes.  My plan is to lose another 8-10 lbs by then.  It will be a test of will power to see if I can keep it up without being under my husband's watchful eye since I will be going TAD (Temporary Additional Duty for those who are not military affiliated) a week before my appointment.  I know since I will basically have to eat out every day for 5 days straight we'll see how much I'll lose.  I'm keeping positive and trying to make heathly choices even though temptation lerks everywhere.

STAY AWAY TEMPTATION STAY AWAY!!! 

Okay so finally I went out and bought some new clothes.  I even packed up all the clothes that do not fit me now.  Now all I got to do is figure out if there is anyone who would want them.  I would love to give them to those that would benefit from them before I gave them to the Goodwill.  It was so nice to try those clothes on that weren't a size larger than what I was wearing before.  I must say though I do realize now that my mind has not caught up to my body.  Evertime I grabbed any clothes to try on the first thing that would go through my mind was..."What am I thinking?  This shirt/pants will never fit.  I hope I don't rip it."  Every time I amazed myself and sure enough they did fit.  I did this all day even though I knew the answer.  You always hear about how you view yourself differently than what you really are.  To me it just seems like one of those things that you can't fully understand unless it happens to you.  With my store hopping yesterday I found out that I wear a size 20 pants and 1X or 16/18 shirt.  I'm so proud of myself.