Complacency

Mar 24, 2009

So it's easy to get motivated when everything is going good.  You work out, eat right, and lose weight.  Sounds like an easy plan to stick to doesn't it?  Well it's not the case with me all the time.  My workouts are on point but I haven't lost any weight since my last appointment.  I have 2 choices for the reason this is happening... 1 - I've hit a plateau or 2 - I'm eating more than I am working off.  I'm thinking it's a combination of both but more of number 2.  For some reason I go to the doctor and see how much I've lost since my last appointment and I get all excited and tingly and then I just forget to watch what I eat for a few days because I'm in this cloud of "I've lost X amount of pounds" and everything else is thrown to the wayside until I come down.  Why do I do this to myself you may ask.  I've come to believe that because of my past experiences of losing and gaining weight I've never had a time in my life that I've lost and it stays off.  Due to that pattern I relish the times that I do lose weight and I just focus on that.  I truly need to change that and always have the ultimate goal directly in front of my mind's eye.  My husband has even brought this to my attention on numerous occasions and I know he's getting sick of repeating himself.  He says whenever he brings it to my attention I get defensive.  Now that I think about it I notice that he brings it to my attention when I'm still in that euphoria of "I've lose X amount of pounds" and I think he's not trying to focus on that but what I haven't done.  I have to make sure I don't fight him on it when he does.  I know he comes from a place of love and he wants me to succeed.  Believe me I want to succeed as well.  I have a thin, healthy body just waiting to come out.  

Maybe I need another fill or maybe not.  I'm going to attempt to write down my food portions (I'm bad at keeping track of my food intake) for a week and see how much I am actually eating.  Maybe this will help me gauge if I should ask for another fill or if I should just cut down on my portions.  Wait I guess I need a fill but I'm not sure if I should get one or not.  I have to think about it.  I'm sure I didn't explain myself fully in those previous sentences so those who are reading this can understand what I am trying to say.  Please know that as I type I have random thoughts going through my head.  I come up with my best theories that way.  Anyhoo, I went off on a tangent but getting back to the issue at hand...  I need to fight off this level of complacency that I feel whenever I lose any amount of weight.  I need to let it drive me to lose even more and even more and even more until the next thing I know I've reached my ultimate goal.  I'm trying to be at 200 lbs by my bandiversary and by my doctor's weight loss chart I have a little over 60 lbs to go.  I think I can do it.  Scratch that... I KNOW I can do it.

I have another appointment in May so we'll see how that goes.  My plan is to lose another 8-10 lbs by then.  It will be a test of will power to see if I can keep it up without being under my husband's watchful eye since I will be going TAD (Temporary Additional Duty for those who are not military affiliated) a week before my appointment.  I know since I will basically have to eat out every day for 5 days straight we'll see how much I'll lose.  I'm keeping positive and trying to make heathly choices even though temptation lerks everywhere.

STAY AWAY TEMPTATION STAY AWAY!!! 

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About Me
Beaufort, SC
Location
28.2
BMI
Surgery
08/06/2008
Surgery Date
May 19, 2008
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