Liz C.

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I know it has been forever since I have been on here.... I have been reading posts on here for about a week. I really lost touch with myself and this site. I decided last Monday to go back and read all my blog posts. Took me 2 days but I did even though it was hard....

So let me fill you in on what has been happening the past 2yrs.... ugh...

I ended up getting married to a man that I have know now for over 17yrs. Everything was perfect in the beginning. He didn't like the fact that I didn't eat that much. He thought it wasn't good. Slowly over time I began to eat a little more with him. Now after we married that is when his true colors came out. He was truly an alcoholic!!! An alcoholic that became violent. I suffered the past 2yrs with domestic violence, him being an alcoholic and I was assaulted by 2 of his male cousins... Over the past 2yrs I have put on weight. I was completely depressed! I hated myself. Every time I tried to leave he would make me feel bad. I put myself on the back burner to try and help him. HUGE MISTAKE! January 2013 I weighed 200lbs. As of this week I weigh 271.6lbs!!! Yes I gained that in the past year. SMH!!! I know I am putting my personal info out there but I think it is important for others to read this. Someone might be in the same situation as me (or should I say as I was!) Something snapped in me 1/1/15. I changed and broke out of my shell and said no more! I have let myself go and allowed it to happen. See when you are living with someone with bad habits those bad habits eventually rub off on you! Because of the abuse and his alcohol use.... I turned to alcohol as well. Every night for over a year I had to have my drinks before bed. It numbed the pain I was going through. I was hooked and couldn't stop until January of this year! So since January I have been doing some lifestyle changes. I stopped drinking those cocktails all together, stopped smoking and started to focus on me. The longest time I just dealed with everything going on because my husband excepted me even after I gained the weight. Even though he is mentally, physically and emotionally abusive... but I had noticed since last fall he started calling me fat when he was drunk. He threw in my face that I failed and something was wrong with me that I even needed the surgery to loose weight in the first place. I was heartbroken all over again....crushed! Anyways to make a long story short.... he has been in jail since January of this year because I finally stood up for myself. I started to focus on myself and making changes. I would loose 5lbs then gain it. So depressing. I decided to get back on here. this site is extremely important. I had that I ever lost touch with this placse. After reading posts and then reading all my posts.... I decided last Tuesday to go back to what I know and start from the beginning. I'm talking back when I was going to the NUT before surgery. I remember doing optifast and checked into it but too many carbs. I had did 4 shakes a day, 1 meal bar and a frozen diet meal with 1/2cup of veggies for 12wks. SOOOOOOOOOO I decided to go back to that except for 4 protein shakes a day, 2oz meat protein in a cup of salad for lunch and dinner. I did consult with my doctor and it is safe to do. If I want to get back to where I once was then I have to do this and I can do this! After work Tuesday night I went and bought my shakes and supplies. Wednesday (yesterday) was day 1. It went really well. I felt full all day because of all the protein. I had about 103g of protein. I was normally getting about 30-40g before that. Today is day 2!!! Yippee! Going good so far. My work closed so I decided since I had no work and my daughter had no school we went to the gym this morning. I felt great! I noticed that even though I am full I will still look at the food here every time I go in the kitchen and the urge is there to eat it even though I am full. I gotta break those bad habits I have had for the past 2yrs. I'm back on this site and will never loose touch with it again. I may not post daily but will try to a few times a month.

If anyone out there is in a situation like I was please get out and seek help before it is too late!

Oh and remember to not let someone else's bad habit become your bad habits....

Thanks for listening everyone!

Whooooa!!! I can't believe as of yesterday I am 3 years out!!! What a crazy journey I have been on. I have managed to maintain my weight loss. I can't seem to get under 199lbs but I can't be mad because I started off at 435lbs! I have my everyday struggles still. If I had any advice it would be that if something is wrong and bothering you then seek help asap! I know its hard to talk to family and friends because they really don't understand what we went through and the last thing we want is for them to think we have failed because we are facing a problem such as emotional. The rapid weight loss plays a huge mind game with you. I have learned that just because you loose weight it doesn't fix your problems you had pre-op and sometimes creates more problems post-op/ Those problems are always going to be there unless you seek help and address them. It only makes things worse to keep them to yourself and to go on as if nothing is wrong. I am very thankful that I was able to have the gastic bypass and would do it all over again if I had to. I am truly blessed and thankful God was with me to see me through! Good luck to everyone who is up and coming with your surgery and to those who are post-op keep up the good work!!! Oh yeah the scale isn't your friend at all! It plays a huge mind game on you because even though the numbers may not move at times doesn't mean you are not loosing. Keep track of your inches!