Emazingsexy

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So yesterday I complained cause i haven't lost any weight WELLLLLLL today I lost a pound so BLAH HUMPH! HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE

I haven't lost weight in four days and i am starting to get nervous that I am doing something wroung....I want this to work I gotta get the weight off!!!!! How do I do this what am i doing wroung???? Hopefully tommorow I will have lost something I will keep you all posted

Okay let me explain how horriblely stupid i am....This month I had my sons b-day i had his b-day party i had my surgery and i am having a huge reception for mine and my husbands wedding....yeah and me the stupid person I am thought that that wouldn't be too much well I guess next time I will beat the hell outta myself when I even think about doing anything like that again...Also yeah I am starting to regret having the surgery. i mean I won't even be able to eat a piece of cake or have a ribe from the caterreing or anything! Wait I can have a protein shake that yeah they are making me way sick...They now make me gag! I thought I would be all happy having this surgery and that no I wouldnt be depressed but you know what i am...This is bad i don't know why i feel this way or anything? i am going to go and talk to my doc tommorow and tell him to fix it..Oh and I haven't even told you all about hte hair issue i had...i had to shave my head the week end before surgery becasue of a really really bad reaction to the hair dye! So now Ia m a fat bald ugly depressed bitchy female! What a great person to be around...yeah so at this point if this surgery works i would be surpriased I dont' feel like anything is going to change I don't feel like there has been a difference and I hate myself for putting us into debt for this! i am hopeing that it changes and that yes it is way worth it but we will see, i think my body is retarded or something cause I know I had a great doc it is just me! anywyas sorry everything in this sucked but oh well...Em

Yeah so liquid diet kinda not so great but is gonna be worth it! Plus I don't want to hurt anything. I have taken a drink of water forgetting to sip and well lets just say I don't think I should do that again

But can i just tell you I am scared that this was a bad choice...What if this wasn't the right surgery for me?? I think it is but we will see...Right now I just want to be able to eat meat again! LOL I am craving beef and chicken so bad...Okay I will write more later smooches EM

 4 more hours till my liquid diet!

So I will now admit it my hair is not natturally black and purple...It is a mousey brown. And well all of you will be ablke to see it soon cause...On saturday while after getting my hair colored I had a reaction that sweeled up my head and well in the long run I had to shave my head...I have been dying my head for years so I don't know what went wroung. I will be taking pictues with my wig on...I got some really pretty ones! So i am excited about that..Surgery is coming up very soon adn that is getting to be freaky!!!! monday is my last day on normal foods...and then tuesday it is clear fluids for the next few weeks!!!!! I am soooo excited!!!! I can';t wait! i will keep you all updated about my hair and my weight loss!

Lets see what is special about the number 5....
The jackson 5
5 days in a week
5 little monekys jumped on the bed
the 5th Harry Potter book
i have 5 children
OH and Yeah in 5 days is my surgery

Needless to say I am getting way excited!!!!!
You guys all have a great week end! Smooches Em

ONLY 6 more days! Okay soooo we are getting ready I am nesting.
I have been cleaning out rooms and closets and toy boxes. I am trying
to get allthe laundry done before surgery so Greg doesn't have to do any
I am also trying to make sure the house is in order so that he doesn't freak out when he has to search for anything. I haven't explained how busy May is for us to anyone on here yet but let me give you an idea, May 4th was our sons 6th b-day we didn't have his party till May 10th and all between those days i was running up and doing some testing for pre-opp then On the 11th it was mothers day and then on on monday I had to go back in for more pre-op testing and THEN on the 13th i had my pre-op with Doc Roller. And in between all that I have to go grochiery shopping and clean the house. And then I have to get all the kids stuff ready for going to their dads for a night this week end. And then i have to get their stuff ready for while my mom is watching them. so Surgery is on May 21st i will get out of the hosipital on the 23rd and on the 27th I have to pick up my sister from the airport two hours away and then on the 30th we are having a bachlorette party for me here at my house and a bachlor party for Greg. Then on the 31st we are having our wedding reception (we had our wedding last year) And then on June 2 school gets out so at some point I have to help the boys make gifts for their teachers. Anf then take my sister back to the airport on June 3rd and then on June 12th the kids are supposed to go to their dads for two weeks and  then June 16th threw the 22nd Greg and i are going to vegas and then when we get back we will get our kiddos for a week. So that is how our summer is starting

I may not be perfect but dang it who cares anymore.
I mean what is perfect? Is there a book on what the
perfect women is? Is barbie the perfect women?
I mean it who makes up the rules for what is the 
perfect women? Does she have to be 5 foot 9inches tall and 110lbs?
Or is she 5 foot tall and 200 lbs? Why is the idea perfect so veried?
Let me tell you why I think it is...Cause everyone! EVERYONE!!! is different.
Not everyone likes brussil sprouts but we still grow them. Not everyone
like mint choclate chip ice cream but they still make it. And not everyone likes bigger women or skinner women. BUT why do people find it
nessacary to point it out? What brought on this rampage you ask? Well 
I was talking to a friend and she said that some kids yelled out their
car window FAT COW to her. My friend is sexy as hell and one of the 
sweetest people in the world. But the thick headed dumbasses made her feel about two seconds tall. She hung her head in shame and ran
inside her house! If you ask me it is those boys and their parents who should be ashamed! How dare they judge her by her size. How dare they yell rude things like that to her. And how dare they drain her of what little self esteem she had! Only people who have been over weight can understand how it feels to be overweight. All those people who have gone their whole life being what they consider a perfect size they have no idea about the struggles of dieting and dieting just to lose two pounds.
Hwo many of them can say they have tried everything done everything and hyet they can't lost weight. They can't know what it feel slike to go threw the constant struggle of being over weight. I want to tell you as a mother if I ever hear my kids say anything about a persons weight they had better hope they are way taller then me cause I will pop them in their mouths! My children will respect people no mater how fat skinny pretty ugly old young they are like Horton says a person a person no matter what size!

One more week...before long I think I am going to start counting down the hours!!!! I am soooooooo freakin excited! Like i can't even tell you how excited I am, But i will try...If I was a dog I'd be so excited i pee all over the floor, If I was a bird I'd be so excited I'd pull out my feathers and swauke laudly, If I was a fish I'd jump put of the water and do a flip, If I was a toddler I'd be so excited that I ran around in circles, If i was a kid I'd be so excited I'd scream, If i was a teenager i'd be so excited I'd jump up and down screaming omg, If i was retired i'd be so excitecd I'd dance with a walker! I am that excited...maybe i will do all these things cause that's just me! Gosh lets see I am setting up goals for myself. My first one is when I have lost 20 lbs I am going to go and get a tattoo that says Life has just begun! itis going to be on my wrist and going to be in a pretty cursive. When I have lost 40 lbs my reward will be going sky diving and maybe getting my instrustors liceness soemthing I have wanted to do for a long long time, When i have lost 60 lbs I am going to get a tattoo on my bag of my children (i already have one of my kids) When I get to my goal weight I am going to reward myself by finishing my tattoo sleeve on my right arm, It is going to be a mass of flowers so far I have five! LOL I amalso going to when i get to my goal weight reward myself by going out and spending a small fortune on clothes that I thought i would never be able to wear, string biknis, leather pants, corset tops! Watch out world Here I come, If you thought I was bad before just wait cause bad never looked as good as I am going to look LOL....