emt4jesus
New Beginnings?
Aug 25, 2010
It's been way too long since I last journaled and to say the least, it's been a hard six months. I now understand what it means to be an "emotional eater" as life's ups and downs seemed to be heaped mightily on my head recently. I almost lost my dad on several occasions due to CHF and then watched as a friend went from a seemingly healthy person to dying of cancer in just a six week period. Work has been stressful as Sonya and I have survived two layoffs in the past two month sand the picture framing business has been slow. Even my health has suffered as I've been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis in both feet. When stress come barreling into your life, I have a tendency to forget my faith and worry too much. I also have found that my eating habits go from good to terrible without realizing it. As you concentrate on having a daily pity party, everything you have learned about in the bariatric adventure get tossed aside for the convenience of fast food. I turned to comfort foods, snacking, and grazing to help cope. It wasn't until I took a moment, three days to be exact, and evaluated where I was at that I realized I had allowed the trials of life to take me totally off track physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
So what have been the results of the stress in my life over the past few months? First my prayer life was not where it should be. Ed Yohe was a good friend and mentor for me over the years. His testimony was awesome and convicting. After beating cancer seven years ago, he was diagnosed with an inoperable liver cancer in February. He passed away in July. I prayed so hard for a miracle but none came. The seemingly unanswered prayer was very disturbing to me. I was then asked to serve as the chaplain at my friend's grave side service. The words I spoke and the scripture I read helped me to realize that God did answer my prayer it just wasn't to my will in the situation. Now my prayers are centered on God's will and not my own.
The second result of all the stress in my life was a weight gain to 302 pounds. I had promised to my self never again to weigh over 300 pounds and there I was at 302. I forced my self to write down everything I ate over a three day period and it was obvious what I was doing. Grazing, especially at night, had taken over my eating habits. I would sit down with a package of Club Crackers and just graze until they were gone. I was eating more carbs and fatty foods than protein. All the bariatric rules that I had lived by were out the window and everything that could be destructive to my WLS I was doing. So, five days ago, I started the 5 Day Pouch Test. The first two days were hell. Carb shock and caffeine starvation brought on headaches. Head hunger pains had me pacing around the house to keep from snacking. But day three was easier and I felt myself getting that full feeling after eating. By day five, I sat down to eat a half roasted chicken and could only get down a leg and part of a thigh before I had to stop. It was great to have that full feeling again. But the biggest bonus of the test was the 16 pounds I lost.
For now, I'm not setting any weight goals. I want to concentrate on eating right and getting back to the eating habits that will allow the weight loss to continue. Above all else, I am striving to present myself approved in God's eyes. Through study, prayer, and meditation, I know that God will do a good work in me. I look to lean on God's strength and not my own to get through the trials. The stress of life is still there but I'm learning to let God handle the problems while I try to walk in His light.
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So what have been the results of the stress in my life over the past few months? First my prayer life was not where it should be. Ed Yohe was a good friend and mentor for me over the years. His testimony was awesome and convicting. After beating cancer seven years ago, he was diagnosed with an inoperable liver cancer in February. He passed away in July. I prayed so hard for a miracle but none came. The seemingly unanswered prayer was very disturbing to me. I was then asked to serve as the chaplain at my friend's grave side service. The words I spoke and the scripture I read helped me to realize that God did answer my prayer it just wasn't to my will in the situation. Now my prayers are centered on God's will and not my own.
The second result of all the stress in my life was a weight gain to 302 pounds. I had promised to my self never again to weigh over 300 pounds and there I was at 302. I forced my self to write down everything I ate over a three day period and it was obvious what I was doing. Grazing, especially at night, had taken over my eating habits. I would sit down with a package of Club Crackers and just graze until they were gone. I was eating more carbs and fatty foods than protein. All the bariatric rules that I had lived by were out the window and everything that could be destructive to my WLS I was doing. So, five days ago, I started the 5 Day Pouch Test. The first two days were hell. Carb shock and caffeine starvation brought on headaches. Head hunger pains had me pacing around the house to keep from snacking. But day three was easier and I felt myself getting that full feeling after eating. By day five, I sat down to eat a half roasted chicken and could only get down a leg and part of a thigh before I had to stop. It was great to have that full feeling again. But the biggest bonus of the test was the 16 pounds I lost.
For now, I'm not setting any weight goals. I want to concentrate on eating right and getting back to the eating habits that will allow the weight loss to continue. Above all else, I am striving to present myself approved in God's eyes. Through study, prayer, and meditation, I know that God will do a good work in me. I look to lean on God's strength and not my own to get through the trials. The stress of life is still there but I'm learning to let God handle the problems while I try to walk in His light.
Daily Status Report 2/23/10
Feb 24, 2010
Calories = 1609 Goal = 1500
Carbs = 83 Goal = 75
Protein = 191 Goal = 125
Water = 50 Goal = 100
I worked out four of the past seven days. Last night was circuit training. 15 minute on the elliptical and 40 minutes of weights. I am really starting to look forward to the work outs especially the 15 minute sauna time at the end of the workout. My schedule that I'm trying to establish is:
Friday - Sunday - Tuesday - Aerobic
Saturday - Monday - Circuit Training
Wednesday & Thursday - Off Days
After two weeks of working out, my main concern is the left knee. It's back to popping especially after sitting for a period of time. We'll see how it goes.
Weekend Status - GS Cookies
Feb 22, 2010
Girl Scout cookies are a temptation that I can not resist. Can I get a witness. I blew my weekend by eating far too many dos-i-dos and thin mints. But I am being honest and have put them on my food log.
2/20/10
Calories = 2689 Goal = 1500
Carbs = 159 Goal = 75
Protein = 207 Goal = 125
Water = 54 Goal = 100
2/21/10
Calories = 1946 Goal 1500
Carbs = 200 Goal = 75
Protein = 128 Goal = 125
Water = 54 Goal = 100
J.T. condition has not improved. It looks as though she may be in a permanent vegetative state. They are now talking about long term care options. I've heard the words "living death" to describe her condition. J.T. is such a sweet, caring, unselfish person. I would rather her leave us and be with her Heavenly Father than for her to exist in a vegetative state for the rest of her days. I pray that God would either heal her or take her but that she would not linger.
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2/20/10
Calories = 2689 Goal = 1500
Carbs = 159 Goal = 75
Protein = 207 Goal = 125
Water = 54 Goal = 100
2/21/10
Calories = 1946 Goal 1500
Carbs = 200 Goal = 75
Protein = 128 Goal = 125
Water = 54 Goal = 100
J.T. condition has not improved. It looks as though she may be in a permanent vegetative state. They are now talking about long term care options. I've heard the words "living death" to describe her condition. J.T. is such a sweet, caring, unselfish person. I would rather her leave us and be with her Heavenly Father than for her to exist in a vegetative state for the rest of her days. I pray that God would either heal her or take her but that she would not linger.
Daily Status Report 02/18/10
Feb 19, 2010
Calories = 2099 Goal = 1500
Carbs = 174 Goal = <75
Protein = 107 Goal = >125
Water = 64 Goal = >100
Weight = 291 Goal = 270
Exercise - Off night
What a messed up day. I've been expecting a sugar drop since they changed my meds and it happened yesterday. I about hit the ground. At lunch my glucose level was 210. I took 10 units of Apedra and drank my protein shake. By 2:00 I started feeling funny and by 2:30, things started fading away. When I finally realized what was going on my level was 90. A co-work brought me a Snickers bar. After half of the snickers bar and two glucose tablets, my sugar was at 85 and I started getting the funnel vision. I don't know how low my levels got but that was a freaky experience. The worst part is that after it is all over with and the levels go up, you feel like crap for the next few hours. Almost like being hung over.
Tonight it's back to the gym for 45 minutes of cardio. Tomorrow I have several framing jobs to complete and a missions breakfast to attend.
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Carbs = 174 Goal = <75
Protein = 107 Goal = >125
Water = 64 Goal = >100
Weight = 291 Goal = 270
Exercise - Off night
What a messed up day. I've been expecting a sugar drop since they changed my meds and it happened yesterday. I about hit the ground. At lunch my glucose level was 210. I took 10 units of Apedra and drank my protein shake. By 2:00 I started feeling funny and by 2:30, things started fading away. When I finally realized what was going on my level was 90. A co-work brought me a Snickers bar. After half of the snickers bar and two glucose tablets, my sugar was at 85 and I started getting the funnel vision. I don't know how low my levels got but that was a freaky experience. The worst part is that after it is all over with and the levels go up, you feel like crap for the next few hours. Almost like being hung over.
Tonight it's back to the gym for 45 minutes of cardio. Tomorrow I have several framing jobs to complete and a missions breakfast to attend.
Daily Status 02/17/10
Feb 18, 2010
Calories = 1657 Goal = 1500
Carbs = 116 Goal = <75
Protein = 132 Goal = >125
Water = 80 Goal = >100
I did well until dinner. I went out to a local cafeteria and the food was terrible. I ended up eating about half of what I got. We had very little time until Awana started at church so I got two KFC snackers en-route to the church. Big mistake. Not only are they high in calories but I didn't feel real well after eating them.
I had a blast with the kids in Awana last night. It is so energizing to watch these children work so hard to memorize God's Word. It was a fun night.
A sad note: J.T. took a turn for the worse this week and we got news from Jeff that she is not expected to live. My Sunday morning hallway buddy has fought the good fight but it may be time for her to go on home. We pray for a miracle from God but it's His will not ours.
0 comments
Carbs = 116 Goal = <75
Protein = 132 Goal = >125
Water = 80 Goal = >100
I did well until dinner. I went out to a local cafeteria and the food was terrible. I ended up eating about half of what I got. We had very little time until Awana started at church so I got two KFC snackers en-route to the church. Big mistake. Not only are they high in calories but I didn't feel real well after eating them.
I had a blast with the kids in Awana last night. It is so energizing to watch these children work so hard to memorize God's Word. It was a fun night.
A sad note: J.T. took a turn for the worse this week and we got news from Jeff that she is not expected to live. My Sunday morning hallway buddy has fought the good fight but it may be time for her to go on home. We pray for a miracle from God but it's His will not ours.
Daily Status 2/16/10
Feb 16, 2010
Daily Status
Calories = 1191 Goal <1500
Protien = 174 Goal >125
Carbs = 64 Goal <75
Water = 50 Goal >100
Exercise = 45 minutes - Elliptical - Intervals
Weight 290
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Calories = 1191 Goal <1500
Protien = 174 Goal >125
Carbs = 64 Goal <75
Water = 50 Goal >100
Exercise = 45 minutes - Elliptical - Intervals
Weight 290
Hanging In There
Feb 16, 2010
After a weak weekend where I ate the wrong things, it's has not been so hard to get back where I need to be, at least so far. I've been to the gym four of the past five days which has had some positive and negative effects. The negative is the soreness. Sunday and Monday were filled with leg pain as my muscles revolted against the physical abuse I was giving them. This morning is a different story. I'm a little sore but no near the pain level of Sunday. The positives are several. First, I'm sleeping better. The past two nights, I've laid my head on my pillow and went straight to sleep with no interruptions. I also seem to be less hungry in the evenings. Yesterday, I survived comfortably on less than 1200 calories.
So, the new routine is as follows:
1. Gym - five times a week - Friday thru Tuesday
A. Friday - Sunday - Tuesday - Cardio - 45 minutes followed by 15 minutes in the sauna
B. Saturday - Monday - Circuit Training with weights - 15 minute cardio
2. Diet Plan
A. Calorie Target - 1500 Protein Target - >120g Carb Target - <75g Water Target - >100 oz
B. No snacks after 7:00 PM
C. No high glycemic index foods allowed in the house!!!!!
3. Health Plan
A. Religiously take vitamans and meds at proper times.
B. Monitor blood sugars and chart levels
Last but not least - journal, journal, journal!!
Tough Weekend
Feb 16, 2010
It was a tough weekend as I struggled with what I ate. Being Valentine's weekend, I made reservations at Conner's for Sonya and I and two other couples. I still have a weakness for ordering appetizers and all of us orders and shared with each other. Fried green tomatoes, oysters on the half shell, mozzarella sticks and lobster dip. All very good but irresistible. I had the smallest prime rib they had and that was worth not eating breakfast and lunch for.
I did do something that I had not done in many years. I went to a movie. Not only did I go to a movie but I sat right in the middle of a row of seats. Why am I so excited? I hated going to movies. I've been to three movies in the past 15 years. I hated trying to fit my fat butt into one of those itty-bitty seats designed by the same people who came up with coach seating in airplanes. I hated having to get to the theater early to insure I got a seat at the end of a row. That way my wife could get the third seat from the end and I wouldn't cause her to be crowed by my girth that spilled over into the next seat.
But all in all, it was an enjoyable experience. I actually fit in the seat and was comfortable. I was even able to put a bottle of water in the cup holder without pushing it out. The arm between my wife and I even moved up and out of the way allowing me to hold my wife. Theaters have come a long way in 15 years. Now if I had only not bought that buttered popcorn! Oh well, I had fun!
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I did do something that I had not done in many years. I went to a movie. Not only did I go to a movie but I sat right in the middle of a row of seats. Why am I so excited? I hated going to movies. I've been to three movies in the past 15 years. I hated trying to fit my fat butt into one of those itty-bitty seats designed by the same people who came up with coach seating in airplanes. I hated having to get to the theater early to insure I got a seat at the end of a row. That way my wife could get the third seat from the end and I wouldn't cause her to be crowed by my girth that spilled over into the next seat.
But all in all, it was an enjoyable experience. I actually fit in the seat and was comfortable. I was even able to put a bottle of water in the cup holder without pushing it out. The arm between my wife and I even moved up and out of the way allowing me to hold my wife. Theaters have come a long way in 15 years. Now if I had only not bought that buttered popcorn! Oh well, I had fun!
Diabetes Issues
Feb 10, 2010
I just got back from my quarterly diabetes check-up and the numbers were not good. For the second quarter in a row my A1C went up. It is now 8.1, up from 6.6 six month ago. After discussing all the different options, we settled for upping my metforum to two pills a day, adding Avandium once a day, and continuing with Apedra shots before each meal. We talk about adding a long lasting insulin but decided to try and get things back on track with orals first. Hopefully, going back to eating correctly and this small modification to my meds will kick start my weight loss and correct the sugar problem. I still fell if I can get these last 60 pounds off, the diabetes issue will take care of itself.
I did well for most of my day when it came to eating yesterday. I stuck to the meal plan through dinner but come home from a deacon's meeting all stressed out. Before I knew it, I had downed a salami & cheese on rye without stopping to think about it. I've got to get back into the gym to relieve some stress. I will be visiting a new gym on Friday.
67 more days until my third WLS anniversary. My weight this morning was 289. Still 19 pounds to go to reach my three year goal.
0 comments
I did well for most of my day when it came to eating yesterday. I stuck to the meal plan through dinner but come home from a deacon's meeting all stressed out. Before I knew it, I had downed a salami & cheese on rye without stopping to think about it. I've got to get back into the gym to relieve some stress. I will be visiting a new gym on Friday.
67 more days until my third WLS anniversary. My weight this morning was 289. Still 19 pounds to go to reach my three year goal.
Back On Track......Again
Feb 09, 2010
No one ever said it would be easy. No one ever said there would be no trials. The flesh is weak and the mind can become easily distracted. I'm 68 days away from my three year anniversary of WLS. I'm not where I thought I'd be but I'm not where I was. My biggest personal issue is that once I lost a considerable amount of weight and was able to do things that were physically impossible to do five years ago, I became content with where I was at. Complacency is a tool of the enemy. Whether that enemy is spiritual, physical, or emotional, becoming content with where you are at in life takes your eyes off your priorities and allows old habits, past sins, and physical issues to creep back into your life. These negative issues don't just suddenly re-appear. As our focus drifts away from our priorities, we loose site of where we came from and where we are going. When eating right, exercising, correctly hydrating, and insuring your body receives the correct nutrition are no longer foremost on your mind, you slowly tend to revert back to habits that were sometimes painful to discard.
I must confess the sin of complacency. I have allowed myself to be content with where I am in my weight loss journey. After a hunting season that saw me in the woods and on the water more times this year than the last five combined, I thought I was happy where I was. I made it to my fiftieth birthday, I'm more active than I've been in 20 years. My health has never been better.......at least that's what I thought.
I missed some very subtle signs of trouble because I was not focused on my priorities. Because I am a diabetic, I religiously monitor my blood sugar levels at least twice a day. But for some odd reason, I wasn't paying attention to the numbers. They were higher than they had been in a while but I wasn't real worried. Even when my last A1C jumped from 6.4 to 7.1, no alarms went off. Yesterday, my sugar levels were 219 and 245. For some reason, I checked my monitor to see what my average was for the past two weeks and 30 days. 223 and 229. A year ago my levels averaged 120. Joint pain has started creeping back into my life along with a constant fatigue. I look back at my activity log and I haven't been in the gym since the beginning of December. I took a look in the kitchen and found foods in the fridge and pantry that I would have never allowed in the house a year ago. Even my walk with God has been lacking as I have spent much less time in daily study and prayer than I did one year ago. I have lost focus and perspective of the things that are most important in life. God, family, and health.
I'm not going to make excuses or try to justify my actions. I'm not going to set a bunch of new goals or promise myself to do better. I am first going to humble myself to a forgiving God and ask for forgiveness. Letting myself down is bad enough but letting my God down is very troubling and convicting. Once again, I turn everything back over to Him who can do far more than I will be able to do on my own. I pray for strength, guidance and wisdom to get back on track spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
I have consulted my dietitian and we have formulated a plan to get back on track with my diet and exercise. The goal now is to once again break the high calorie, high carb habits and get back eating a high protein diet. I'm also back in the gym starting this Friday. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss the diabetes problem and fully expect a change in my meds. The pantry and fridge already look bare as I threw out a lot of items that should have never been there.
Last of all, I have re-dedicated my life to strengthening my walk with God. I will start my mornings in prayer and Bible study. This Thursday, I will meet with my accountability partner and require that he hold me much more accountable than he has in the past. He will have my permission to get in my face and ask the hard questions to insure I am being accountable to both him and God.
The only goal I am going to set for myself is a weight goal. I want to weigh 270 pounds by April 18, 2010, my third WLS anniversary. That's 19 pounds to loose in the next 68 days. It's a seemingly easy goal, almost to easy but I have bounced back and forth between 295 and 285 over the past six month. This 19 pound weight lost would be a great start to getting back on track. I'll set more detailed goals once I've met this goal.
God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
0 comments
I must confess the sin of complacency. I have allowed myself to be content with where I am in my weight loss journey. After a hunting season that saw me in the woods and on the water more times this year than the last five combined, I thought I was happy where I was. I made it to my fiftieth birthday, I'm more active than I've been in 20 years. My health has never been better.......at least that's what I thought.
I missed some very subtle signs of trouble because I was not focused on my priorities. Because I am a diabetic, I religiously monitor my blood sugar levels at least twice a day. But for some odd reason, I wasn't paying attention to the numbers. They were higher than they had been in a while but I wasn't real worried. Even when my last A1C jumped from 6.4 to 7.1, no alarms went off. Yesterday, my sugar levels were 219 and 245. For some reason, I checked my monitor to see what my average was for the past two weeks and 30 days. 223 and 229. A year ago my levels averaged 120. Joint pain has started creeping back into my life along with a constant fatigue. I look back at my activity log and I haven't been in the gym since the beginning of December. I took a look in the kitchen and found foods in the fridge and pantry that I would have never allowed in the house a year ago. Even my walk with God has been lacking as I have spent much less time in daily study and prayer than I did one year ago. I have lost focus and perspective of the things that are most important in life. God, family, and health.
I'm not going to make excuses or try to justify my actions. I'm not going to set a bunch of new goals or promise myself to do better. I am first going to humble myself to a forgiving God and ask for forgiveness. Letting myself down is bad enough but letting my God down is very troubling and convicting. Once again, I turn everything back over to Him who can do far more than I will be able to do on my own. I pray for strength, guidance and wisdom to get back on track spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
I have consulted my dietitian and we have formulated a plan to get back on track with my diet and exercise. The goal now is to once again break the high calorie, high carb habits and get back eating a high protein diet. I'm also back in the gym starting this Friday. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss the diabetes problem and fully expect a change in my meds. The pantry and fridge already look bare as I threw out a lot of items that should have never been there.
Last of all, I have re-dedicated my life to strengthening my walk with God. I will start my mornings in prayer and Bible study. This Thursday, I will meet with my accountability partner and require that he hold me much more accountable than he has in the past. He will have my permission to get in my face and ask the hard questions to insure I am being accountable to both him and God.
The only goal I am going to set for myself is a weight goal. I want to weigh 270 pounds by April 18, 2010, my third WLS anniversary. That's 19 pounds to loose in the next 68 days. It's a seemingly easy goal, almost to easy but I have bounced back and forth between 295 and 285 over the past six month. This 19 pound weight lost would be a great start to getting back on track. I'll set more detailed goals once I've met this goal.
God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
About Me
Huntsville, AL
Location
42.0
BMI
Surgery
04/18/2007
Surgery Date
Feb 25, 2005
Member Since
