Ericka
2007
8/20/07
I found out am Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!
It really never crossed my mind that this will happen to me again my baby is almost 9 years old. I guess is time for me to start all over again 
I just hope that is not too painful, not so much the labor pains but the pain from my stomach stretching again after my TT 
Oh well, all I know is that am having a baby and am happy no matter what I have to go thru. My baby is a blessing and everything happens for a reason.
5/3/07
I finally went for my 2 year check up and my blood work came back good except for the iron :( I need to make sure I take it or the dr said I will become anemic. beside that I am doing good. my weight is not so great for me 176# but is better than the #180 I reach to, at least is going down. My goal is to get to 160# by July, I just need to stop eating so much bread and eating out so much. Beside this I am still very thankful for this surgery, it has safe my life. :)
4/6/07
Ok not is really been a long time since I updated my profile. I guess that I am enjoying my life so much that am never home am always out and about doing things with my family that I have never done before.
It's been 2 years since my surgery, I have been having problems loosing more weight, I want to get to my personal goal of 150# but I have been gaining instead of loosing. I am currently 178# which is bad and I am really trying to stop eating all the bad things that I have been eating. I need to get back on track and fast.
I was recently on ER because of stomach pains. I have an appt. with a specialist to see what is wrong with my stomach, they said it might be an ulcer but they don't for sure. I just want to know because the pain I get is so bad that I just sit there and cry and I just pray that the pain goes away. But none of this matter because this surgery has been just a blessing that I would do it again in a heart beat.
I am enjoy my life and my family. My marriage is better than ever. I have been married for almost 10 years and since my surgery my marriage had got so much better. I fell loved by my husband, he makes me feel like a princess we go out and just have fun together. We are doing so many things together that I feel like am dating him all over again.
2006
8/22/06 173.5#
I cannot believe it's been so long since I updated my profile. A lot has been going on in my life, my weight keeps going up and down but am not really gaining much which is real good.
I finally decided to have my TT and breast lift with implants. I went for a consultation on 7/17 and schelude my pre op for 8/15 and sugery for 8/23/06, which is tomorrow. Right now a lot of things are going thru my head, I just want everything to be over with and for me to wake up out of surgery alive. That's has been my biggest fear for me not to wake up from surgery, I will never forgive my self if I were not to wake up and leave my 7 year old daughter without a mother to raise her. I just pray that everything will be ok, and that I can continue to enjoy my family, my new life.
05/08/06
I cannot belive how long has it been since I last updated my profile. Well I don't have a lot of good things to say since I have been doing bad in the way that I eat. I am not trying to find excuses but my job has a lot to do with it. I have been working a lot of overtime and been eating out a lot. Lately I have been trying to stop since I now what to have a tummy tuck and breast implants done. I am a bit scare that the DR will say no since I have really lost all my weight. I was down to 167.5 and went all the way up to 179 :( I was really shock when I saw that i never want to be that big again, so now I kind of not fully doing it yet, watch what I eat. I know it will help if I stop eating bread and pastas. I am slowing getting back on track, I just don;t want to do it for a few days and then start doing everything wrong again. I know is hard and it's a life style not just a couple of days. I promise myself that I will never be fat again, I have increase my water intake and started exercise (when I get home on time) and eating less. I didn't weight myself today but I know that I went down from 179 to 176 hopefully by the 17 when I go see the surgeon it will be at least 174.
01/05/06 172#
Well is the beggining of a new year and I already started my new year the right way. I am eating healthier and got back on my exercise routine. And boy am I happy I did...... I feel so much better, my energy level is up and I am just a happy child :).
Another wonderful thing that had happened is that am no longer morbidly obese, severly obese, not even obese, I am just overweight!!!!!!! am 22 # from my goal am 3# under my surgeon's goal.......am just happy. One thing that made me get back on track was the fact that this is my way of life for the rest of my life not just for a couple of months while I loose the way, because if I don't take care of myself I will started gaining weight and am not going to allow myself to do that. and also an email that I received(which kind of upset me, but I thank you V.W. :)), it made me go back to read my profile and realize that I was making a lot of wrong food choice, I am not trying to beat myself about it because other wise I will just stress out and will start eating, because I know that I am an emotional eating,(is something that am trying to change) but it showed me that I need to get back on track, and stay on track. I know I won't be perfect at this journey, but at least I can try and learn from my mistakes.
02/09/06
I can believe it's almost a year since my surgery, I feel good except for some stomach pains that won't go away and already sent me to the ER once about 3 weeks ago. I don't know what to do am waiting to see the surgeon and hopefully he'll be able to find out what's wrong. Mean while am happy to say that as of today I weight 167.5# can you believe it? I have lost 116.50# from surgery and 133.5# from my highest weight. How exciting!!!!!
2005
12/19/05
Something weird happened to me today. I never thought I was ever going to say this but yesterday one of my coworkers was talking about new year resolutions and how at the beggining of the year everybody signs up to the gym and everybody is there on the first day etc......so he asked me and I was like..........I don't know, this year is different for me I already did my resolution...........and then I paused for a minute and my other coworker said yes she already accomplised her resolution....and there I realize that 2005 has been my dream year. For years I have been dreaming and saying every January 1 that my new years resolution was to loose weight, and here I am 109# lighter not having to dream of loosing weight anymore. It's crazy what I have accomplished in the last 10 months, I am so blessed with this surgery, that my new years resolution from now on will be to keep myself healthy, to exercise drink my vitamins, drink my water and eat healthy make it a new life style. Today I promise myself that I will never ever go back to been what I was. I never what to be fat again.
12/05/05
Wow I did it! I reach my surgeons goal today I am 175#.
10/14/05-10/16/05
I went camping for the first time and it was so much fun. It was also my daughter's first time and the look on her face, it was precious. I could tell she was so happy to be there, and I was happy to be able to be there with her and be able to move around with out getting tired. Once again I am so thankfull for this surgery. I don't think that 105# ago I would have gone camping. I would had made so many excuses not to go and I would have missed the happiness and joy that my daughter had while camping.
10/17/05
today I weight 178.5 :) WOW 3.5# until surgeon's goal. 28.50# until my goal :)
10/08/05
Tom's Farm. My family had so much fun!!!!!! It was our first time there and everything was perfect, the food, the music, but especially the people. I hope we get to do it again soon.
10/01/05
I went to Starbucks at Long Beach. I finally met Stacie S and few other people that were there. It was nice to finally go to my 2nd OH event.
9/27/05
Today I went to an OH support meeting in Irvine. I was so happy that I went. I learned so many things and found out that there's a few that am doing wrong, but the whole experience was great.
9/23/05 CENTUTY CLUB!!!!!! 100# GONE FOREVER!!!!!!
Yes I did I am officially 100# lighter. I went from 284 ot 184!!!!!!!!
I am so happy, that it's very hard to explain the feeling of having accomplish this weight loss. All I know is that I will continue to work harder to keep this weight off but also to loose the 34 # remaining so I can reach my goal of 150. Am so proud of myself :)
9/13/05
I was a bit upset because I haven't loss any weight. But today I got on the scale and went from 189.5 to 186.5 wow 3# finally. Am happy because I'll be 7 months out tomorrow but sad because I wanted to be at century club by then but I guess I won't but hey it's only 2.5 more # that I need to loose to get there.
9/9/05
I been having a lot of problems with my eating habits. I have been eating a lot. I now work for a big company and they have cake and ice cream for everything birthdays fairwells etc... they also go out to eat every pay period (every other friday) I have gone from 188 to 191.5 in just 3 weeks. As of today I weight 188.5 haven't lost like am suppost to. I feel very frustated and at the same time I feel I have no control of myself and my eating habits. I keep telling myself I need to get back on track but is hard. I'll be 7 mths out on wednesday and should have already be at 184 or 181 and it's not happening. I really wanted to be on the century club already. Am I going to be a failure on this journey? :(
8/22/05
Today was my first day at my new job. It went real well, am happy that I decide it to start working there. One thing that felt weird and am kind of happy is that nobody knows me or my past or what I looked like before I had the surgery, so is kind of cool because they treat me like a normal person, not like the new fat girl. So that I like feeling normal.
8/20/05
Today was jugment day for me. I went to Knott's berry farm with my family. I was very excited to go because I haven't been there in 12 yrs. The last time I was there I was asked to get off the ride because it wouldn't closed. Well today when I got to the same ride (or it was a similar ride) I got nervous when I saw that 2 ladies (not too big) that were ask to get off the ride, I felt like walking out of the line but at the same time I had to force myself to get on the ride. When I did I keep pushing the bar because I didn't hear it click but to my surprise it was already lock and I fit in the ride. It was such a wow moment and all those bad childhood memories started to disappear. I got to ride several rides and it was so much fun, except that dumb me decide it to try to eat funnel cake and it was the worse idea ever.
8/19/05
Well today I finally got to meet my angel Deanna, It was a real pleasure meeting her. We talk for a while and it was fun. I hope to see her again soon.
8/16/05
I weight myself this morning and I had to get on the scale like 3 times, I was shock to see that the scale was telling 188# can you believe it!!!!! from 284 to 188 = 96# gone forever.......................
WOW!!! I am so happy 4# more to make to 100# century club here I come!
A lot of things had also happen I now wear jeans size 14!!! wow blouses XL and for the record I now weight less than my husband, my mom, my sister and my sister in law. I had always been the heaviest one of the family and now am not:) WOW!!!!!
8/11/05
Well today I got on the scale and it finally decide it to move I now weight 190# WOW I have 40# to my goal. I guess the water aerobics and curves work. and to be honest I don't know how it's working if I am eating bad I had been so stress out at work, since the three people at my dept are going to another job our boss has been such a b**ch. they are treating us worse than a dog, nobody speak to us they ignore us and they had gone thru our desk and took everything, manuals and forms we use to do our daily work. They are been so unprofessional and so unfair everybody has the right to move to another job if you want to. I have 1 more week here and I know it's going to be hell.
8/8/05
I had my 6 month check up today and everything seem to be perfect. My surgeon said that my cholesterol is normal,and when he said that I was like what? can you repeat that, I couldn't believe it, I had high cholesterol and it was the bad one, and now is normal, that's a WOW moment for me. He also said that my weight loss is good and that I seem to be doing everthing like am suppost to except for my sugar intake is too high so I will work on that. Besides that my tool is working good.
Today my weight is 193.5 I am a bit upset haven't lost any # since
7/19 :( am so mad but I guess my sugar intake has a lot to do with it. I will increase my protein and water intake. Another good news is that I notice that my hair is not falling a lot anymore, it has slow down a lot and that makes me happy. And one last thing I went for a job interview on 8/3 and on 8/5 I got the call that they want to hire me!!!!! So am taking the new job am leaving my old job after working here for 10 yrs wow!!!! I guess a lot of things had changed for me since my surgery, my husband is madly in love with me :) my daughter can wrap her arms aroung me :) (8/5/05) am starting a new job, I have a lot of confidence, I move around better, health wise I fell wonderful what else can I ask for, life is great!!!!!
7/19/2005
today I weight myself and I am 194 that's 90# gone forever!!!!!! I think it could have been more weight but I have been under so much stress in the last 2 wks is not funny. I have been eating and eating non stop. It's been hard to deal with all the problems I am having and the only solution is to run to my old friend food. I thought I was not going there no more but I did I looked for her and found her. I am not happy about what am doing but there are so many things going on in my life I don't know what else to do. I pray that my problems go away so I can get back on track.
7/14/05
Today is my 5 month anniversary, the last 5 months have been a wonderful experience. I have discover so many things about my body that I still can't believe. I have found bones that I didn't know I had before or at least I couldn't touch because of the fat in my body. But today I know where my bones are and I know what my body can do that I wouldn't dare to do before. My official weight is 195.5# -89# WOW. I think I have been doing good, I have been excersing but my eating :( I been eating cookies and I know it's bad for me and I know my body don't like it because I have been getting sick. I am really trying to be strong but I have been stressing at work and that makes it even harder. But hey here I am 89# lighter happier and healthier, so I know I need to stop with the cookies if I don't want to mess up. Besides this the only downsize from the surgery is that my hair keeps falling off and it won't stop.
7/7/05
Today is a wonderful day. I weighted myself today and I am finally under the 200# mark. I almost cry this morning when I saw 199.5# Yes!!!!!!!!! I had to do it like 5 times I couldn't believe my eyes but yes it is true, life is wonderful and this surgery is the best. So far the only down side to it is my hair loss that hasn't stop. It makes me sad but I think is a small price to pay for the 85# that I had lost in about 5 months.
6/20/05
Today in the morning I got up and weight myself and to my surprise I lost 2 more #. I am 204 lost 80# total. I am happy even though yesterday I was bad, real bad. I eat nachos, a lot of them and drank coffee, and eat some noddles and a little piece of sweet bread. ohhh boy was I bad, my doctor doesn't allow any of this until 6 months out. Any way, one sad, weird, I don't know what to call it thing, happen. I parked my car and walked to the elevator and to my surprise it open right away,(it usually takes minutes) and 2 men were in already, I got in and a lady got in right behind me. so the door closed and the man next to me said how are u today? I said fine thank you. and he didn't even bother to said anything to the other lady (that was heavier than me) I looked at her and could tell that she felt unconfortable, and all the sudden I saw myself in her about 4 months ago when I was invisible to everyone, and now all the sudden I exist!!!!! :( I just didn't know who to react so when the door open I just got out real fast and started walking away. I felt real bad for her, and weird for myself, I don't know how to explain what I felt, but it did made me sad, I just didn't know how to react.
6/14/05
Today is my 4 month anniversary. I am so happy because this morning when I weighted myself the scale told me that I am 208#.
I can't believe it!!!!! It's been more than a decade since I weight this much. So I am very proud to say that Thanks to this wonderful surgery my life has drasticly change. I have gone from 284# to 208# = -76# WOW my goal was to be at leat 214 by today but I am below that. I know this 4 months had been hard. It's a roller coaster but it's a learning experience, in which am trying not to beat myself when things don't go so well.
6/10/05
Ok I must confess that I had been bad with my exercises and eating habits too. Is not that I am eating everything but I have been eating cookies (Am upset that I don't dump)and lots of fruit instead of protein and I am eating when not really hungry, I actually feel full and still eat and my stomach starts hurting because there's no more space for food. With the exercises I haven't exercise since 5/30 :( I just went back on 6/8 :) the funny thing is that the days I didn't exercise I was a total bitch. I didn't know what the hell was going on but I finally said to myself you need to go to the gym and burn all that stress out. So I did and guess what that's exactly what my body was asking for. I wouldn't had guess in a million years that one day my body was going to be asking to excersice. I guess that after almost 3 mths of doing it at least 3-4 times a week your body starts getting used to the moment. On regards to my weight I am at 211# I need to loose 12 more to be under 200 how exciting.
6/7/05
I am almost 4 months out and I weighted myself today and I am 211# wow -73# gone forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so good and very happy.
6/6/05
I received a letter from cedar sinai friday and I was shock to see the total cost of my surgery $54,216.25 Wow that's a brand new car!!!!! I only have to pay #350.00 Not bad at all for a new life, that I am loving every second
5/27/05
Officially today I weight 215. WOW Am so happy can't believe that am only 5 # from been the same weight as my husband.!!!
5/14/05
My 3 months anniversary. Well as of today I am 222# has lost 62# and I am very happy with this journey. I am just a bit concered because I feel that I can eat more, and at times I feel that my eating gets a bit out of control. I am craving lots of sweet things and the problem is that I am eating them and I don't get sick. I want to dump so I can get scared and not eat them again. Like I have done with salmon that made me dump back on 2/27 and have not had it since, am just too scared to try it. Besides that I think that am doing good, I drink my water (plain, hate the flavor ones) my vitamins, and drink/eat protein. Still very happy about this surgery.
5/10/05
Had my 3 mth check up and the surgeon said that I am doing real good. He said that my lab work (what they got back, some still pending) are good. On regards to the weight to their records I started at 280# weighted today 225# total loss 55#. He said in 12 mths I should loose a total of 105 # (am half way there :) He said my ideal weight is 133# and goal weight is 175#. As of today my personal goal is 150#.
5/6/05
Well officially my weight today is 222# wooooowwwwww!!!!!! I am so happy and I continue to have so many wow moments. The last couple of days I haven't had anything to wear. All my clothes fit me big. So yesterday I went to the store to buy some clothes and guess what????to my surprise I am now a size 18 from a 26!!!!!!. But this morning my coworker told me that I should had bought them a size 16 that the 18 looks big. Can you believe me been a size 16 NO WAY!!!Well I'll take the clothes back and see if I am now a 16. Anyways yesterday when I tried the 18's on, I cried on the way home because I remember that back in 1993/1994 I was ordering clothes size 18/20 and most of them I had to return because they were too small. And now even an 18 might be too big. Wow I love my new life. Once again I am very thankfull for this surgery.
4/28/05
I don't know what is happening to me but the last few days had been bad. All I do is eat eat and eat I can't stop. I always thought that I was going to be able to handle this situation but I haven't been able to. I don't know what to do. I eat and then feel sick to my stomach but then again the next day I do it again :( . I know the bad habits don't easily go away but I feel guilty after I eat, I waited for this surgery so long and now that I got it I feel like am failing myself. Every morning I tell myself I would get back on track today and then I start eating again. I hope this stops soon and I get back on the right track.
4/25/05
I had the worst day ever all I did was eat and eat and it was all the wrong things. I kept telling myself to stop but I couldn't it was horrible, and I know that I need to learn to control myself because this is how my life will be with up and downs with good and bad days. Am blessed with this wls but there are days that it is so hard but am glad that so far I still get punish when I eat the wrong things. I think what made it worse was that I went to the dentist yesterday and everybody kept asking me if I was pregnant. What the **** I just loose 57 # do I still look that pregnant???
4/22-4/24
My first weekend at vegas since my wls. I felt so good and according to my husband I am looking real good. He said that I look so different and he can't believe it's only been 2 mths
4/16/05
Another WOW moment. I went shopping today and I bought my first pair of jeans in a size 20 yes!!! and they fit me a little loose. I couldn't believe it I haven't wore jeans in over 5 yrs. and when I did I used to wear men jeans. I was so excited about, that I am actually starting to like shopping again.
4/14/05
Today I am 2 mths out. I am still very thankful for this surgery. I can say that it has change my life completely. I weight myself this morning and I am 235 (gained 1# :( ? ) Anyways am still happy, I got weighted at curves yesterday and in their records it show the following:
3/10 4/13 total lost
weight: 254/237/-17
body fat % 45.06/42.30/-2.76
body fat #-14.20
inches:
bust 52"/47.50"/-4.50
waist 51"/45.50"/-5.50
abdomen 55.50"/52"/-3.50
hips 48"/47"/-1
thighs 28"/26"/-4
arms 15"/14.50"/-1
Am proud of my progress, even though it kind of made me mad/upset when I showed it to my sister (who also goes to curves) and called me a cheater. She said with my surgery am cheating in loosing weight. My respond, is not cheating I also have to work my a** off to loose weight and control food craving. so is not any easier from what she does when you go on diets. She might have been joking but it kind of hurt. This surgery is not an easy way out is my new way of life and am still learning to use it.
4/8/05
A big WOW moment today. officially 50# gone forever......and I mean forever they are never ever coming back :). am so proud of myself. I weight 234#
4/7/05
I have been really working at curves for the last 2 days. we do the curve machines and aerobics which are kicking my behind. (but I like it) I was getting upset because I wasn't loosing but I been going out to eat 3 days in a row which is bad real bad, but been working out and as of today I weight 235# :) wow!!
-49# gone forever!!!! one more # and it will be 50 how exciting. I think it would have been more but I been overeating I just feel loonely my husband is out of town and my old friend (food) keeps coming out and I know I need to learn to control it so I go to the gym so when I get home am tired feel good at the same time and it's almost time to go to sleep which is good. I think I have been doing real good with water, and excersices my vitamins am improving, protein am trying to get more in but is kind of hard. I am very happy of the decision to have this surgery.
3/29/05
Well officially today I weight 240 # that's what I weighted when I found out I was 1 mth pregnat. My daughter is now 6yrs old. WOW!!!! -44# gone forever...........
3/28/05
It's been 6 wks since surgery and I had been doing real good until yesterday. My choices where not that good. I had at least 6 chips-a big NO!!!!
I eat a small piece of grill chicken, beans(about 15),cheese(1 spoon), avocado( I think tooo much about 3 spoons) fruit(2 oz.),crush ice with a little flavor (1 cup) and some water(not enough 30oz) then for dinner I had some chicken with salsa (1 1/2 oz)and I eat it even though I was still full, but I was been bad so I still eat it and yeah it happen I got sick. Am not doing that again. Even when I look at what I am writing here it don't seem like a lot compare to what I use to eat before, but now that am starting my new life style I don't want to mess up.
3/27/05
Today I went to a birthday party and when I got there a friend who I haven't seen since 02/27 said that I look real good. Then her friend came who I haven't seen since 12/26 kept telling how good and how different I look she was amaze of how small I look compare to christmas (286#) time when she last saw me. I didn't tell her what I did even thought I know she knows but all was in my mind was yeah I just lost 44 lbs :)since you last saw me.
3/16/05
I had a wow moment today, I went to the dr and when I got weighted by the nurse she didn't had to put the scale in the 250 she put it on the 200 and my final weight was 248, under 250 wow. 36# gone for ever........... :)
3/14/05
my 1 month anniversary. I am so happy that I had this surgery done. so far from 2/7/05 that I went to my surgeon and weight 284 to 251 = 33# The surgeon said that I am doing real good and that I can now start going to the gym. And that's exactly what I did I started curves today
3/8/05
Today I am 23 days out and I already lost 32 # so far I had several wow moments:
My clothes fit loose (no longer skin tight)
My shoes are way loose.
My wedding ring fits.
My silver jewelery now fits me.
some of my smaller clothes that I had on the back of the clothes now fit.
I know this is just the begging and I will have a lot of wow moments but I am so excited and can't believe that this wonderful things are happening to me. The only thing that I am having a hard time to deal with is when I go out and see other obese people and it just breaks my heart. and then I realize that this surgery is a true blessing and I would try my best to use this tool and never, ever go back to the way I was.
3/1/05
Today is my first day back at work and so far I feel good, am happy to be back since I was kind of feeling loonely at home. I got on the scale today and I couldn't believe my eyes. I went from 284 to 255!!!!!. That's 29 lbs!!!!. The last time I remember been 255 was 6 yrs ago when I delivered my baby. After that my weight went to 301 in 3 yrs. I am so happy, except that my clothes look kind of big but that's a good thing. I try to exercise everyday well except for sunday and monday but I did a lot of walking so I guess that counts. Another thing that makes me happy is that my husband has really notice the weight loss and keeps telling me to keep up the good work. He's proud of me:) and I am very proud of myself.
2/22/05
I had my 1 week appt with the dr khalili today. He said that am doing very good, I do need to drink more water. The last visit I had with him I was 280 and today I am 264. That's 14 lbs in 9 days. I feel so much better now, I just still have some gas pain but other than that I feel great and very happy that I had this surgery. Well actually am still in shock and still can't believe I had it done:)
2/16/04
My husband picked me up around 10 and drop me off since he had to go back to work. I was left alone but I felt good no pain no nausea just a little tired. Even if I had pain I still will be ok with it since I know that I had been bleesed with this surgery and with been alive
2/15/05
I had a hard time sleeping so aroun 4 in the morning I was out walking, Later on that day Penni (she also had the surgery the same day) went to look for me and took me walking, then we found Gwen and we were all walking, supporting each other it was fun.
2/14/05
My new life beggins today. I left to the hospital around 11:45(with my mother blessing) arrived there before 1 and by 2 they call me in. I got weight and I had lost 15 lbs between friday and monday (liquid diet). Right away they started getting me ready for surgery. Dr. Khalili went in to see me and assured me that everything was going to be ok. From there all I remember is the IV and I was gone. I don't remember what time I woke up but when I open my eyes and saw the ceiling I felt bless I was alive!!! Death had been my biggest fear but God had good plans for me I was given a second change to change my eating habits. I was taken to another room where they kept giving me pain medication and kept me there until aroun 10 p.m. when I was taken to my room where my mom dad and my wonderfull husband were
waiting for me.
2/13/05
Well my date is around the corner. I can't believe that 2 weeks went by so fast. I guess I didn't noticed them go by since I been working toooooo much. Just today I went out to try to buy my vitamins. But am ready. I went to church today to pray that everything turns out good tomorrow. It's funny how I haven't panic yet, I feel at such peace and so relax, maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't worry because everything will be ok.
2/7/05
Physical with pcp done. tomorrow I go to talk to the sugeon, get blood work and lungs x rays. I am so close now. I am just praying that I don't get sick. Everybody where I work is and am trying to stay away from them.
2/4/05
Since my approval I have been very emotional. It's like riding in a roller coaster. I am happy one minute and then am in tears. My mom is having such a hard time accepting my decision and yesterday that I talked to her she cry and told me that she is not in favor of it but am an adult and is my choice. she said that it will take her a while to get use to me once I loose weight but she loves me and cares for me and wishes me the best. It's been very hard for me between the drama at home and work, I just feel sick to my stomach. My boss is not happy about my 2 week notice and said she might need to hire somebody to come and help while am gone. (its only for 2 weeks I hope) and I am working my a** off right so there will be nothing pending. Anyways I feel a lot better (mentally emotional) since my mom said she'll be there to help me. I love my mom and she's been there in every important moment of my life and even though am married I still need her blessing to do this. And then my daughter, I cry when I see her and thinking about me leaving her or something going wrong breaks my heart because she's turning 6 on the 27 and the idea of me not been there is very hard but I been praying, my mom been praying and I know that God knows my daughter needs me and everything will be alright.
well 10 more days to go. and my new life will start. How exciting.
2/1/05
APPROVED!!!!!!
I can't believe it I just received a call from cynthia at cedar sinai and she told me that my insurance company approved the surgery. My surgery date will be 2/14/05. that's 2 weeks. :)
am so happy am still crying. Thank you God I know that with out you this couldn't be possible and now I know that you made it possible because I am going to be OK.
I can't believe am shaking as I type this, so many times I day dream of this moment but I didn't expected to be so soon. it only took aetna 4 days to approve. WOW!!!!!
1/27/05
It's official my paper work was send to the insurance company today. I was told that it was done online and to call back on 2/3 to find out if they had an answer for me. Right away after I hanged up the phone I started praying that it all turns out for the best.
1/19/05
finally all the paper work is complete and will be summited to the insurance company. I was told that the waiting period is 2-6 weeks. am going to pray that it doesn't take that long and that I get approve on the first try. If not am going to appeal but if I get denied I will just leave it alone it's the sign I ask for to show me that is not ment to be or that if I get it done it won't go well. It might sound crazy but since I started this journey I always pray and ask God to send me this as a sign and I promise to leave it alone.
1/14/05
got my prescription fill. I would start the medicine tonight. Hopefully after this my paper would be summited for approval.
1/13/05
I received a call from cedar sinai telling that my h pylori test came out positive and I need to call my dr. to get a prevpac prescription. I did was I was told but the b**ch at the dr's office just made it so difficult. I just don't understand why she has such a bad attitude. Well she is just going to have to deal with it because I am not giving up, even if I have to call her several time until I get what I need.
1/7/05
well my final test are in.I was frustated at first since it took almost one mth to get the upper gi results. everytime I call there was a different excuse of why they were not ready (I called every other day)Well finally today they are in and I was told that once the blood results come back all the paper work will be summited for approval. I am praying that it will be next week and hopefully I will have the approval by the end of this month.
2004
12/9/04
well I just completed my last test I need for my paperwork to be summited for approval. Upper GI and abdominal ultrasound. Now I just need to wait for the results to be send back to my pcp and then to the surgeon. am so excited I am almost to the beggining of my new life.
I'll keep praying so everything can be done without any problems.
12/6/04
I called my pcp and gave me the referral # for the abdominal ultra sound and upper GI. I called and made an appt. for 12/9 9:45.
12/2/04
Up to yesterday I was 100% that this is what I want to do but yesterday that I saw my coworker who looks very happy but is loosing her hair I started to wonder if this is what I really want to do. I know this is minimum compare to death or other things that can go wrong with this surgery but seen an actual person and not just a picture on the internet made me think and made me feel scare. My main thing is that I don't want to die and I know that is going to be a difficult process but after hearing my other 2 coworkers saying that it don't seen wort it and to really think about it I just got confussed they said to go for the band and even my boss tells me that but I know the ins. co. won't cover it. I am so confused I feel like calling the dr. and cancel everything. I don't know what I want at this point :(
11/24/04
today I went to see my pcp and he will send me the appts. for the test I need done before my paperwork can be summited for approval. One question that I ask my dr was that my insurance company requires a 6 month supervised diet and he told me not to worry about it that when the time come he will summit all the needed paper work. ???
11/23/04
I have a dr. appt. tomorrow so I can have all my test schelude that I need for the surgery. The only thing that is bothering me is that I don't have the 6 month supervised diet that aetna require. I though it was going to be ok since my employeer was changing insurance but they decided to keep the same one. Hopefully they will still cover this surgery.
This morning I started thinking of things that I want to do when I loose weight, and this are some of them:
1-family picture (Of my daughter, my husband and myself)
2-take my daughter to Disneyland and go in every ride.
3-buy new clothes in all styles and colors NO MORE BLACK!!!
4-buy shoes(every color and style, not just the ones that fit)
5-go on a romantic dinner with my husband.
6-Play/run with my daughter at the park/beach. Done 7/23/05 played tennis
7-wake up every morning and feel beautiful (be happy with the way I look) DONE. EVERDAY
8-make love to my husband. DONE 7/25/05
9-be able to go to a public place and not be jugde. DONE
10-be able to fit in a chair. DONE everyday
11-be able to cross my legs.DONE everyday
11/10/04
consultation with surgen is complete. He gave me a list of test that I need to do with my pcp. But now I have to wait for the surgen to get the list to my pcp and get the insurance approval for that. The waiting kills me I just want to have this surgery so bad, I don't want to wait, but I guess I just have to until God feels is the right time.
11/4/04
I received the approval to have a consultation with the surgen at cedar sinai. Am so happy after waiting 1 month for this referral I can finally said that now I really feel like I am moving foward.
I have been overweight since I was 10 yrs old. I started my first diet when I was 11. I am currently 26 and can say that I have been dieting for 15 yrs :( . I am happily married and have a 5 yr old daughter who I love with all my heart. She is the reason and the person that gives me the strenght to get up every morning and go on with my life. There are times that I just want to stay home and lay on my bed but when I think about her I just get up and get moving, even though I know that there will be someone who would make a comment or will give me a look but I just do what a lot of obese people do, put a big smile in my face and act like if I am the happiest overweight person in the world. I go to work every day just wishing that the day will get over soon so I can go back home where I feel safe and not criticize. I am currently talking to my dr. to see if I can get a referal for this surgery. I just want to be able to get this surgery done so I can finally have control of my life. :)
