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well i'm down 109 lbs and i've posted some new pics on here. i think i'm gonna start making some goals so i can reward myself a little bit better. for losing 100 lbs my husband took me out to dinner (i know i couldn't think of something other than food, right?). i probably should have, but i was so used to going out to eat to "celebrate" something, it didn't even dawn on me to think of something else! lol...it was nice. we went to a waterfront restaurant. i had blackend scallops and a salad. i've been working like a mad woman lately! i'm so tired! we're going to busch gardens tomorrow, so that will be fun! we had a tropical storm hit us today. it was nothin. i've been through normal thunderstorms that were worse than this! anyway i'd though i'd update....i'll be posting my measurements on here soon. toodles

freakin' a!!!!!!!!!!   i'm soo pissed off right now....i dont know what to do.  i was 3 pounds away from my goal of losing 100 lbs by 04/27 and now i've gained 1 1/2 lbs!! WTF IS GOING ON???!!! i'm not doing anything different. i don't understand it. i'm drinking my water, eating what i'm supposed to...i just don't understand. this is so frustrating. i know a lot of people are telling me "well even if you don't lose the full 100 lbs you should still be proud of yourself" and they are right, but a bigger part of me is more dissapointed than anything b/c this would have been the first time i ever made a goal for myself and kept it. i don't know if that is going to happen. i've also been put back on my prozac b/c i've got PMDD (basically PMS kicked up to level 10 and then some). i'm feeling like i'm regressing not PROgressing..i dunno

well.....as for my goal to lose 100 lbs by 04/27, i'm AHEAD of shedule!! i'm down 95 lbs!! just 5 more to go. WOO HOO!!! i hope i will be able to lose them w/in the next couple of weeks. I think i will.  i got hired on permanently at my job (first 90 days you are a temp) and if/when you get hired on you get a .50 cent raise. i got a DOLLAR raise!! woo hoo!! i was shocked! my supervisor said she sees alot of potential in me and knows that i'm a huge assest to the company and she thought it was only fair to give me a dollar raise for my hard work. i'm soooo psyched! i love my job. i need to see my doctor b/c i think i have PMDD. whenver aunt flo comes to visit i feel extremely violent, severly depressed to the point of ending it, very tired...this has been happening for the past 3 months and i couldn't figure out what was wrong w/me. well after doing some research i think i know what it is. i'm gonna talk to my pcp to see what he thinks. wish me luck

no this is not an april fool's joke. my brother died 3 yrs ago today. www.ourfallenbrother.com

i miss him so much. he died 24 hrs (to the minute) after my son was born. we keep my brother's memory alive with my son. yesterday we had a birthday party for my son and a celebration of life for my brother. i have always in the past ate my way through my depression, but now i can't do that. i won't do that. i will try to remain as strong as possible and just stay busy all day if i have to.

today my son is 3!! gosh i can't believe where the time went. i made him a racetrack cake and it took me 4 hours to make!! it came out pretty good being my first "creative" cake. i made a goal for myself to lose 14 lbs by 04/27/07. that will equal a total loss of 100 lbs! i'm down 3 lbs right now. 11 more to go.....

5 month check in.....

i've lost 86 lbs and 5 inches which brings my total inches lost up to 26! according to my BMI i'm no longer morbidly obese i'm just severely obese...well it's a step in the right direction. WOO HOOOOOO!!!!!  i can't wait to lose 100 lbs! people have asked me if i would do this all over again (the surgery). i still have to say i don't know if i would. this is an emotional drain on me. my stepsons came into town and i got to see them for the 1st time in 2 yrs. man, do they grow up fast! my son's 3rd b-day is this coming saturday. time is flying by and i'm dragging my feet to try and slow down! my weight loss is at a trickle which pisses me off to no end, but atleast i'm losing right? apparently my blood work came back fabulous yet i don't understand why i'm still so tired and i'm bruising so much. i'm on b-12 shots once a month now. i wonder if i can get a script to do them myself....hmmm....my wedding anniversary is next month. i will be married for 4 years. WOW!! my sister came into town last month and we went to universal studio's mardi gras. we had a blast! i got trashed (i know i'm not supposed to) but i had sooo much fun! i rode on my very first roller coaster in 3 years!!! i fit perfectly and had an awesome time. i almost cried when i got off it b/c i was in so much shock. you know it's the little things we tend to take for granted.... i miss my sister....we had a very strained relationship for a while and we're just now starting to come back together. she lives in las vegas and of course i'm here in florida so we don't see much of each other. i hope she moves down here soon. well, i need to go. hopefully next month's check in will be better and i'll be close to the 100 lb mark by then. my mom (actually she's my step mom, but i love her so much and consider her my real mom) said we would go shopping for new clothes once i hit 100. sigh...hurry up and get here already! i wanna go shopping! lol ;) my best friend called me and said her cancer came back....she had to have a partial hysterectomy (sp?). i swear this woman is the stongest woman i have ever met. she must have concrete in her veins or something. a few years back her husband was diagnosed w/cancer. well he beat it, and a little over a year ago she developed cancer and blood clots and was able to beat it. well in september her husband passed away...god, i miss him. and now she had to deal w/her cancer coming back and try to cope w/her husband being gone. they were never able to have kids (they tried for like, 7 yrs). i told my friend i would be a surrogate if she wanted. anyway, the good news is that she had the hysterectomy and she is now cancer free! YEAH!!! i love her so much and would die if something happened to her. she and her husband are my son's godparents. i hope nothing else bad happens to her for the rest of her life. she's done absolutely nothing to deserve what she has gone through. i saw her about a week ago and she looks great. she actually looked happy and peaceful which i was relieved for. gotta go~~~

i had a good valentine's day. craig made me a cd with a bunch of romantic songs on it and he even recorded his voice on the cd to wish me a happy v day and that he loves me. i also got a BEAUTIFUL dozen of long stemmed red roses. my eating has sucked the past few days. i dunno if it's because my monthly friend is here or what. i'm craving carbs like crazy, and i'm giving in about 70% of the time. i need a good ass kicking right about now. i'm going to go through my kitchen and see what i need to get rid of to get me back on track. i haven't gained anything, but i haven't lost either....well pound wise i haven't, but i think i'm losing inches again. i hope so. my sister is coming in town next week and we are going to universal studios for mardi gras. i can't wait!! i'm so freakin' tired. i had a f/up appt today w/my surgeon and he thinks my iron might me pretty low so he was talking about doing an iron infusion....i dunno we'll see.......

well i'm at home sick as a dog today. i've got the flu, a sinus infection AND ear infections in both ears. i'm on antibiotics and hopefull will be feeling better soon. as of this morning i've lost a total of 73 lbs and 21 inches!! holy crap! it still amazes me how much weight i have lost. craig and i also got a tattoo together. i've uploaded them into my pics.  here are my measurements as of yesterday (in inches):
neck: 14
L arm: 16.5
R arm: 16
L thigh: 27.5
R thigh: 27
chest: 48.5
hips: 57

as of today i've lost 66 lbs!! i have a total of 177 lbs to lose, and my half way point is 88.5 lbs gone, so i'm almost there! i've gone (according to my BMI) from super morbidly obese to just morbidly obese. i'm able to do more than i could before surgery--which is fantastic! i also started a new job on monday 01/08 and i loooove it. i don't think i would have gone looking for a new job if i hadn't had the surgery. i've even started to wear out my 2 1/2 year old at times! it's great! my husband can't keep up though. i told him that he needs to start b/c once i get to goal, there's not going to be anything that stops me!

december 8th marked my 2 month surgiversary, and i had stalled in my weight loss. i had lost 47 lbs and 9 inches. i know compared to my one month update it showed that i did lose more weight, but i was stuck at the 47 lbs for about 3 1/2 weeks! that is very discouraging!!  this morning i got on the scale and saw that i had lost more weight! WOO HOO!!!! i've now lost 53 lbs! i had told craig that once i got to a certain weight, he would have to take me out for dinner to celebrate. well this morning i passed the weight i was looking for. craig was in the shower and i came running up to the bathtub and ripped open the shower curtain and said YOU ARE TAKING ME TO OUTBACK TONIGHT!! WOO HOO!! he just laughed at me and said "yes dear". no, seriously he was pretty happy. i have to go the doctor today b/c i have to get my labs done again and the adema in my legs is back.  :( i'm gonna try to get some pics on here from when i was getting ready for surgery and after. i haven't taken a recent pic of me yet, but i will soon. take care everyone!