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So, the day has arrived. It's 11:00 p.m. as I write this, and in less than 12 hours I will be in surgery. I'm feeling so many things right now. I feel excited about the future, but also scared. I don't really know what life is going to be like without food as my main support. Even though I've lost weight on my own and maintained it, I've never been able to give up the comfort that overeating provides. I hope that this surgery offers me with a new opportunity to establish a better relationship with food. A relationship that is benificial to my health and well-being. I deserve that! I deserve to be free of my weight! I deserve to do all of the things I have never been able to do before! I deserve to live a long life! And most importantly, I deserve a body to match my beautiful spirit. I've suffered enough throughout my life, and now it's time to start living! And so, here I go....

Well, the glory of being a self-pay client is that it was fairly easy to schedule my surgery date. June 19, 2007!!! I met with my doctor last week and everything looks good. I can't believe it is really happening. I'm super scared...but also really excited! More later...

Well, I have my first consultation with LapSF on June 1st. I'm sooo excited. I've secured the funds, since I am a self-pay client, and hopefully, if all goes well, it won't too long before the big day.

These are some of  the things I think about to make myself feel better:

1. Flying more comfortably on airplanes.

2. New adventures with my husband.

3. Buying cool clothes at Anthropologie.

4. Wearing cool clothes from Anthropologie.

5. Walking really long distances.

6. Running, skipping, and jumping around.

7. Dancing in public.

8. Having a baby.

9. Having a healthy, natural pregnancy and home birth.

10. Living a really, really long time.

11. Riding roller coasters.

12. Traveling to exotic lands.

13. Scuba diving and snorkeling.

14. Wearing tank tops.

15. Never having to worry about fitting in chairs...ever again!