my life sucks!!

Jun 23, 2011

IT'S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR SINCE I'VE BEEN ON THIS SITE AND I'M HERE BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS AND I NEED TO VENT AND I CHOSE TO COME HERE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I WONT BE JUDGED.I HAVE NO ONE I CAN TALK TO, TO TELL WHATS REALLY GOING ON WITH ME WITHOUT A COMMENT OF "YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT",LIKE I DON'T KNOW THAT SHYT! I'M BIGGER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS ACTIVE IN THIS GROUP A YEAR AGO.I'M DAMN NEAR 400 POUNDS NOW. I SIT IN THIS APT ALL ALONE. I HAVE CHRONIC BACK PAIN, ASTHMA,ACID REFLUX,HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE,BORDERLINE DIABETIC,DRUG ADDICTION,MORBID OBESITY, DEPRESSION AND MY KIDNEY AND LIVER LEVELS ARE ELEVATED SO WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH TIME B4 THEY SHUT DOWN,AND THE ONLY TIME THAT I FEEL GOOD IS WHEN I HAVE DRUGS IN ME.NO MATTER WHAT WAY MY LIFE HAVE TAKEN ME I HAVE NEVER BEAT MYSELF UP LIKE I HAVE THE LAST FEW DAYS.I'M SLOWLY DIEING AND DON'T HAVE MOTIVATION TO CHANGE ALL THESE THINGS THAT'S GOING WITH ME. ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE GIVEN UP ON MYSELF.I DON'T KNOW WHY  I'M VENTING ON THIS SITE BUT THANKS FOR BEING THERE JUST TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST!! I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH ME AND I FEEL THE CHANGES COMING ABOUT. I THINK MENOPAUSE HAS STEPPED IN AND KICKING MY AZZ!!I NEVER HEARD ME SOUND LIKE THIS AND THAT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH HOW GOOD AT ACTING I AM,THAT I CAN HAVE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON MY SHOULDERS BUT DISGUISE IT THRU HUMOR.MY LIFE FOR ALL ITS WORTH RIGHT NOW REALLY SUCKS!!!!HOPEFULLY N A HOUR OR SO I'M GONNA BE LMAO AND SMDH @ MYSELF!!!DAMN!!

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