Fancee

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Wow I cannot believe it has almost been two years since my surgery.  It has been over a year since i have posted on here.  So much has changed.  my DB is now my DH.  We have moved to the country, and he went back to school and finished his undergraduate degree!  As for me, I weighed yesterday and was 145 pounds.  I have been as low as 138 but never over 145 since i reached this weight!  I am a size 4/6.  I actually wouldn't mind putting a pound or two back on.  That is such a weird thought! LOL!  So many years wishing I would loose I never thought I would wish I would gain.  I still struggle sometimes with the amount of food i eat.  I can eat pretty much anything I want.  I just have to make sure i eat slow.  Almost 2 years out and I still struggle with this.  MY DH has to pat me on the back at least once or twice a week because I took too big a bite or too big a sip.  I definitely have more energy and just feel better about life altogether.  Although, there are some hard times, and I have a lot of extra saggy skin (Not as much as some- but definitely no bikinis here) I am glad I did the surgery and have no regrets.  If i could afford plastics, I would get my breasts lifted.  I definitely don't like that they look like my 93 year old grandmother's! LOL!  But all and all, its a small price to pay!  Until next time OH!

Well, it has now been 5 months.  It has been an exciting journey.  I am now 197! Woohoo! It has been a long time since i have been under 200 pounds!  I think i would like to lose about twenty more pounds honestly.  Anything past twenty more would be icing on the cake.  I am not sure where this journey will take me or where i will be when it ends but i am enjoying the ride!

Boy, where does the time go?  I am now 4 months post-op and it seems like just yesterday.  Things have been going along just fine.  I had my 3 month labs done.  I am low in Potassium and Vit. D.  So, I am trying to combat that.  Overall, I feel fine.  My  B12 was 600.  Although, the Dr. said that was fine - i think it's still a little low from what i have been reading.  I am going to switch to the shots when i run out of sublingual B12. 

My weight loss is coming along well.  I am starting to think that i am pretty again!   I definitely feel better and look better in my clothes.  My DB thinks so too!  He has been such a support in this journey!  I have stopped weighting myself on a daily basis.  I am just happy with the progress that I have been making.  I can't wait until I get under 200 pounds.  I am about 219 today so i am almost there.  It has been since college!!!! 

As far as eating and drinking... It is still a daily struggle! Some days I do just fine but most of the time it is a struggle.  A struggle to get everything that i am supposed to in.  So far I have not dumped on anything.  Now, weather this is good or bad - it depends on the day of the week u ask me that LOL! 

I am definitely enjoying this journey!

Well, I am 3months post op!  The time has really flown by.  I am starting to notice the difference in my body.  I am wearing a size 18 now and that is exciting.  my sweetie and I are going to see the Color Purple on Friday. I went shopping for an outfit a couple of weeks ago and actually bought a 16 skirt.  It has been a while since i have been in a 16. 

I guess i am feeling okay.  I am still trying to eat and take my vitamins as well as get my water in. It is a daily struggle.  I go back to the surgeon on April 16th to have my labs drawn.  I am really trying to get all my vitamins in so i don't get a bad report, but i am afraid i will.  I can feel that my body is tired sometimes.  But i don't know if that is from my hectic schedule or from not getting enough nutrients.  It's probably from both.


My dear boyfriend is so supportive of me through this process.  I love him so much.  He thinks that i look great! Although he tells me he thought that i did before this surgery.  I just can't wait to see where i will end up at the end of this journey.

People are starting to say to me, "don't lose too much" and "you're getting skinny". Honestly, I am kind of sick of the comments.  But i know people mean well.

Anyway, I gotta go! 

Well, it has been two months that i have been on this journey.  I am starting to notice the difference in my clothes.  Other people are starting to really notice too.  Even those people who did not know i had surgery.  I am not sure what size i am down to because i have not gone shopping yet.  Although my clothes are baggier on me, I can still wear them. I don't have much longer in them though! 

Emotionally this has been a journey.  A much harder one than i expected.  I feel like i have 3 full time jobs. My job working third shift, full-time school, and learning how to eat again.  Some days are rougher than others.  My darling boyfriend has been so supportive.  Tonight before i left work, I just broke down and cried because i left the milk out and did not have any milk to make my protein shake. I think its just the hormonal shift after surgery plus all the stress i am under.  He was so worried and concerned. I love him for that.  He is really caring and attentive. 

It is still hard for me to eat any more than a couple of bites.  Sometimes i forget to eat altogether which i know is bad and will hinder my weight loss.  I am doing much better with the protein and the water.  Exercise? Now that is another story.  I have tried to start.  But, I am falling very short in that area.  Between work, school, studying, and sleeping, i barely have enough time to pee not alone work out!  You would think i could find 30 minutes in my day for this.  But, I just don't.  When i have down time and could work out, I want to just relax. 

I also have not started going to support groups.  I really want to start attending, but with my schedule I just can't find the time.  Maybe in April i can go.  I know there is one Wednesday afternoons that i can attend, but i have Jury duty every other Wed. and it so happens to have been when there was a support group meeting. 

As far as my progress is concerned, I am doing well.  I have lost 64 pounds since my highest weight and lost 44 pounds since starting the liquid diet.   I lost 3 pounds on the liquid diet- So 4 pounds since my surgery date!  Not too shabby! 

I can't believe that it has been so long since I have updated my status.  Let's see, since I last posted I had my 1 month check up with Dr. Olsen and everything went well.  He said I am losing right on target.  I am struggling with protein alot.  He told me to make sure that I am getting in my liquids and to drink a protein shake for breakfast.  I am somewhat struggling with liquids too.  It seems that i keep falling short of 64oz each day.  But, I am afraid of being hospitalized for dehydration so I am making more of an effort to do better. Right now i am sipping sipping away! lol! I did notice that i can handle cold liquids if I drink them threw a straw.  So, I believe this will help alot in getting all 640z in. I am still struggling with nothing tasting good.  Food is just blah to me and i could care less if i eat or not.  I really was not expecting this reaction.  I knew that there would be some foods that i would not like anymore but to not really like anything is crazy!  I am still eating just a few bites of this and that.  I have cheated and had carbs.  I know I know.  I still do not know if i truly dump or not.  I have not tried anything with much sugar.  I am too afraid.  My schedule between work and school is to exhausting to have to take a break for a 15-30 min dumping episode if i can avoid it.  I also am having problems with my vitamins.  The calcium citrate is terrible! I am definitely not the best post-op patient at this RNY thing, but I am trying.  Please keep me in your prayers that I will continue to do well in the areas I am doing well in and improve in the others!

two weeks post-op.  This thing is harder than i thought!!  My mind is playing tricks on me! Besides the fact that i seem to always be hungry ( I know, I know, "head" hunger-it still feels real to me).  It seems like there is nothing "good" to eat.  Then when i do eat, i take a few bites and that is it!  I think i am in some kind of mourning.  I miss food.  It was a comfort to me.  It was there when i was happy and when i was sad.  When i was bored, when i wanted to celebrate and when i was upet.  Now, my old "friend" is gone.  I am trying to think of things i can do in place of eating.  But nothing seems to take the place.  It's kinda depressing.  I am trying to make it through this phase and i know that i will.  But my word, how long will it last?  When will the longing go away? Or at least diminish.  When i feel like this i try to focus on the weight loss.  Since, I have started this process i have lost about 40 pounds.  That is great!  I am able to wear some clothes that were a little too tight on me before.  Wonderful!  Maybe when i started to physically notice the change in my size these feelings will pass.  Lately I have been worrying that i wil lose the weight and then gain it all back later.  I don't want to be like that.
I don't want to sound so negative, and i am happy that i had my RNY.  I guess i just have some adjusting to do!

Well, I am one week post op!  I am so glad to be on this side of things.  Let's see... What has been going on in this last week....  I think i am doing pretty good.  The day of surgery I just knew that I would be so scared.  But i wasn't. I believe that i was just ready for this surgery.  My mom said that when she asked me if i was scared as they were wheeling me out i said no, with such a peace on my face.  I wasn't sacred at all.  Everyone at CMC was so nice.  The nurses were wonderful.  I pray that i am as caring and patient as they were when i finish nursing school.  The surgery itse;f was uneventful.  My DB however, was so nervous... According to my mother, and him, he was pacing the floors waiting for me.  I have read here that some people did not have much pain after surgery.  Well, I was not one of them!  I hit that little PCA button every chance i got! The first day I could not have anything at all to drink except those wet lolipop sponges that they give you.  I was sooo thirsty.  And my mouth was soo dry!  I just hit the PCA pump and went back to sleep so I didn't have to think about it.  I was also very uncomfortable because i am a side/stomach sleeper so it was hard to get comfy.  But, honestly, that was the worst of it.  The next day after surgery I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  My Surgeon said it would be the worst day and he was right.  After that it has been downhill.  I was released on Wednesday.  I have been doing really good with the liquids.  Pretty much getting all my fluids everyday.  But the Protein! UGH! Now that is a different story.  I really got to work on that!    My tummy is still sore.  I still have some gas. But all in all things are good.  I had my first Dr. appt today and I am down 14 pounds!  My Dr. said i am doing good.  I am glad.  I am really gonna make a better effort to get this protein in!  So far so good!

Well, It is the night before surgery! OMG!!! I am finally getting nervous.  I am actually shaking while typing this.  I didn't do great on the liquid diet.  I did okay. Not sure how much i lost but i would love for it to be 10 pounds.  But i am thinking it is more like 6-7.  My mother is here to spend the time with me in the hospital.  I am nervous beause i have never been in the hospital before.  No surgeries either.  I even have all my wisdom teeth! LOL!  So, this is definitely a knew experience.  
Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 37.  I am looking forward to a great 37th year.  My  DB gave me the most beautiful diamond cut silver bracelet for my brithday.  He said that it was also because i have been going through this process and it is finally coming to pass. And that i have been so stressed lately that he wanted to see me smile.  He is so wonderful!  I love him!  Well, I guess next time i log on I will be on the loser's bench!  WOW!

Today was day one of my 10

day liquid diet---

OMG!!!!!!!

I am starving!

Nothing more to

say!!!!