Teri Turner

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For 14 years, I have had an online close friendship with someone who lives in Europe.  We have visited almost every day of all these years, often spending hours "together" as he lends support during tragedy, conflict, grief and simple sadness.  We are well-matched online, but would probably not make it for a month if we had to share a common roof.  I have lived alone for so many years.   Not that we'll likely ever meet one another.  It's not like that. 

For a great long time, I knew I had too many problems to live with anyone, with severe ptsd and a detrimental enabling personality, putting myself and my needs last.   But in recent years, I've gotten a lot better.  Oh, I still have my problems, born mostly out of living alone.   Loneliness, the sounds of someone else in here, waiting for the bathroom, lovingly giving each other trash...  Someone to cuddle, watching movies on tv.  

It's just like that for me today.. wondering if I'll have one decade or two more of aloneness. 

Loneliness sucks the life spirit right out of you.  I'm tired of feeling an empty shell.