WOW! I could see a bone!

Oct 07, 2007

Well not really but when I was laying down tonight I I could see the start of the middle of my rib cage! I havent seen that in YEARS!

Went back to see Dr. J for some Med's and was seen! GREAT NEWS!

Oct 02, 2007

I had to pick up my hubbys book from the hospital and pick up a med sheet. My doc is within the hospital.

Dr. J went ahead and seen me. I asked if he could look at one of the areas to make sure it looked alright.  He weighted me! I didnt want to look! I LOST 14 POUND IN ONE WEEK! He seemed so proud of me! We had a very good visit.

I went up to get my hubbys book and to see if any of my friends where still there. Vivan was. It was sooo nice to see her. She has such a wonderful light around her. I love seeing her smile. She thinks she may get to go home in the next couple of days. Im so blessed to have been able to make friend with her. She has such a warm soul!


Im also walking in the walk away from obesity. I reg. tonight. I can bearly wait! 

Im feeling great  and learning a whole new way of life!

Now off to bed!


Im HOME! And I FEEL GREAT!

Sep 29, 2007

They were going to send me home a day earlier. I didnt feel up to it and asked for another day. I got some rest and started to get use to everything with the girls being at home with dad. ( Which has been a love).

Dr. J told me the WLS took less then an hour to do. Everything looked great and that my liver had a little fat on it but that it would come off in the next few weeks. I was so happy with him I almost kissed him!

I felt pretty bad right after WLS but after getting up and walking I did start to feel better. I loved getting my 1st 1 oz of food. I walked a lot durning my stay at the hospital. my 1st round was just that, a round. I have an IV stand that didnt want to move with me and had a RN help me around. But after that I was pretty much on my own. 

I met some very nice people who had the same WLS as I. We took number down and I hope we are able to keep in contact. I met a very nice woman name Chris. She went in I think 2 hours before me. Such a nice person. Im sure we will give eachother a call from time to time!

The 2nd night I was there I met a woman named Vivian. I wkoe to use the bathroom and heard her cries. I could not nothing but see if she was okay. Im still not sure why she was in there other then a very large tube in her noce. She was in so much pain. I asked her if I could get some lotion and rub her hands for her and she said yes. I sat with her for about an hour. I had her breathing out of her mouth and trying not to talk. She made me tear. She told me that I could not make her love me any less. Im so very happy for being able to help. I went back again later that morning  and rubbed her hands again. She had me meet all of her family. We took numbers and I will be staying in contact with her!

I also met Amy. She was in ICU for a while. When I met her she had been wanting another pillow and did not have one. I remember walking and seeing where they where kept. I went and got one and asked the RN for a pillowcase so that I could put it on for her. She called me at home tonight and is still having issues. Its my hope that she will do better in the next day or so so that she can return home to start her new healthy life. It seems we have known eachother a lifetime. 

Im at home now and feeling pretty good. Im only taking the pain meds when I HAVE to! They make me soooo sleepy.  My ports are looking good and Im not having issues keeping anything down. Gas was some of a issue but after an enama at the hospital at 4am its a thing of the past. At least for now.

I feel so blessed to be able to have had the WLS. My Heavenly Father has really looked out for me and my testamony has become even more stronger then before. I will do everything in my power to make this TOOL work for me and my family. More to come, now off to bed.


Its 1:17 am the morning of my WLS! Im still calm!

Sep 24, 2007

Im not even sure where to start. Been doing a ton of thinking, lots of praying. And Heavenly Father has been by my side, I can feel him. We are leaving the house at 6:15 this morning. I will be in WLS at 9:30am! Ill post as soon as I can after getting home!

Another early morning!

Sep 21, 2007

Im letting what happened with my brother sink in. Im not going to let this take over but I do so very much wish I could just give him a hug and tell him I love him. 


Its the 22nd already! Wow 3 more days and I too will be on the losers side!


Update on my brother and GREAT NEWS! Im a healthy fat woman!

Sep 20, 2007

I was able to track my brother down! WOW! He is at a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. I called and left a mess to let him know I knew and that he could call. I have heard nothing. But will be here if he needs.

I can not tell you how much all your Pm's have helped deal with all of this. I think I have pm'ed all of you back personally to thank you. There was 5 pages on Pm's! I have said it once and Im gonna say it again.... Im so greatful for the site. I have so many people I email back and forth on a daily,  weekly basis. Very good friends to have. All of the notes helped.

For those of you worried about me NOT have my WLS..... Are you kidding! :) I got to this point, Im gonna see it thru. I had contact with my birth father over this whole thing with my brother and I need this WLS more now then ever. I can not allow HIM to contenue to TRY to control me now. Its time to get out of this prison I put myself in so many years ago. The rid myself of this fat hanging on to my life and body.

To the good news! I got all my Post Opt and Heart Scan results back and Im one healthy FAT person! Im in WLS on the 25th at 9:30am

Thank you all for the prayers. I was just having a very low night. I do feel better however and somehow everything with my brother will work itself out. Good or bad ending what will be will be.

Sad mad and in tears.

Sep 19, 2007

I wasnt going to write about this but I have to. Im sure this is why Im not sleeping.

I have made myself numb over the past year concerning my little brother. His choices have lead him to a hellish life. He moved to FL early this year and I have only talked with him twice since.   Last night my little brother was found hanging, blue and lifeless. If it where not for his new in-laws he would be dead.   Up till now I have not let myself cry about anything concerning him. I have just prayed for him and let be what is. Tonight I prayed to Heavenly Father to help me cry ,to let myself go, to feel something. And now as I type I have a river down my chest.   We where ALWAYS together growing up.  I pretty much raised him. If you read my story you'll understand why. Its on the bottom of my blog.   I'm in tears as I type, I cant hold him, protect him like I did when we where kids. I cant see him  or talk with him. I have no clue as to why he would do this. He is Sp. Needs, though has never tried this sort of thing. He married someone he bearly knew and I'm sure it's turned out not in his favor. My heartless, only looking after himself father called my mother to inform her. Not giving her much info at all. Shortly hanging up. My mothers health is not good and is feeling as I. She was not there for us when growing up and I know she is feeling part to blame. Im just now starting to get to know her, learning to try and love her and yet set my own limits with her. A very hard thing to do and for my brother maybe not doable at all. He has not contacted her in months. 

Im sad. Im 30 years old and I have YET to let my family put me under. I have fought, I have left. I have been without family but I have never let them get the best of me. I have learned HOW NOT to live by them. He is all I had growing up. Protecting him helped me protect myself. He gave me reason to live.  If it wasnt for him I have I would not be the person I am today.  If I lose my little brother I will be lost. 

  I have my WLS in 5 flipping days. That is if all my pre opt and heart scan come back good. This is no time for my to feel the way I am... I haven't even freaked out about my WLS> Iv been doing good. And now this.

Sept 20th. 2:19 and I swear Im sleepy but cant sleep!

Sep 19, 2007

The last two days have been hellish. I left my house at 7:30 in the morning and didnt get back home till 9:30 pm! The post opt testing sucked to say the least. I think I was poked like 5 times then the upper GI was nasty. Then to finsh off the night with the last class I took not learning a darn thing. I left shaking my head. Im thankful however that I have done ALL MY READING. 
Went to bed out like a baby. To get up and be at Banner at 12:30 for a heart scanning. Good oh my! No one told them I was there for like 1 1/s then I walk in to do my scan with them looking at me like Im nuts. ( I had my girls with me) I explained that I called not once but twice and they said it was a 5 mintue thing and that the girls could be at the door while the scan was going on. Needless to say I had to call my hubby for help. Oh and then they wanted my rate at like 60! I was 105! 
I was just glad to get home! I should be hearing something later today on the post opt and the scan! Lets pray all was good and there are no issues. Issue could mean me having to get the wls at a later date.

COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Sep 17, 2007

Im doing all my pre opt test at 10am this morning. Following a heart scan Wends. If all goes well on both Im in wls 9:30 am  on the 25th.

Im still really calm.. More just wanting to get the testing over and done with. I have had to put the pre opt testing off once already due to sickness in the family. I did the stress test and everything came back good however one of the images came back shadowed. The doctor feels its a faulty test as my ekg and tredmill came back prefect. Wants to just make sure with the new heart scan they have out. Ill be doing that this Wends.  Banner says they will be able to read the results same day and fax to my doctor. So I hope to get this cleared up asap. I had all my blood work up done with my pcp last month so there shouldnt be anything new with this pre opt blood work.

I have had one hell of a headack though. Would really like it to go away. My med's arent seeming to help it either.

I had a wonderful weekend with my family. Im 30!!! We went out and had stake! Tons of fun!

T he bathroom is all tiled. It looked great. And we are working on getting the roof on the dog area attached to the front of my house. My dogs and cats are way spoiled. 

Ill let everyone know how the next couple of days go with testing.


2 of my VERY FAV Songs that fit my life right now.

Sep 05, 2007

HOLD IT TO THE LIGHT
It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight
So hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light
It's too late - to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here - a possible way
But wait - and they all will be lost roads
Each road's getting shorter the longer I stay
Now as soon as I'm moving - my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold it up to the light
I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared, Is my life at stake?
But I see if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?
I was dead with deciding - afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
Yes and hold it up hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

Falling Into Freedom's Arms
(Lowell Alexander/Jeff Borders/Gayla Borders) 
From where I stand my heart is weary How I’ve been waiting, anticipating The touch of your hand Faithful and true, constant and steady Lord I am ready Gonna close my eyes and say goodbye Surrender all control I know I have reached the end of me And it’s time to just let go And with all my hopes, my dreams, my fears With every wound and scar I’m falling into freedom arms Falling into freedom’s arms Give me the faith to give you my heart And my soul completely, I needyou to lead me I want to stay Here where amazing mercy surrounds me Your love astounds me
Chorus 
Oh sweet mystery How I can feel so free Feel so free 
Chorus



 

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About Me
AZ
Location
28.5
BMI
Jun 29, 2007
Member Since

Friends 154

Latest Blog 22
stress, lots of it.
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Life is ever changing!
229 pound a going! Life is ever changing!
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Im enjoying the good life!
This new way of living is something else!
I'm down 43 pounds and FEELING SOOOO HEALTHLY!
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