Mom knows.

Sep 08, 2012

Some of you might have remembered me asking if/how/when you chose to tell people, especially your parents.  Well, I had decided to talk to my mother over the course of the next couple months and put a little out there at a time about different wieght loss methods, issues, etc. and then tell her once I was officially approved and had a surgery date (so she didn't stress or worry). 

I am currently living near DC, but my permanent residence is in Michigan.  My mother takes care of my house and lives there full time.  As a result, I've asked her to open my mail and forward anything important.  Well, today she called me to give the rundown of my mail and then sounded all confused about a letter "about a bariatric surgery that you did or are planning on doing???"    Wasn't expecting that!  Geesh, how could I not think they would send stuff to my 'residence'?

Well, after breaking the news that I was looking into wls as an option and reassuring her I wasn't having my insides re-routed, I got the dreaded lecture of how I just need to eat healthier and that I'd lost weight before meeting my SO and I just needed to do that again...  I then had to break the news that the 'diet' I was on was called partying and smoking.  Sure, I'd go for walks after work with friends, but then we topped the night off getting boozed up and chain smoking.  Although it was a fun, and I mean, very fun, and social point of my life, that just doesn't fit into my lifestyle nor do I want it to, anymore. 

At one point when she started blaming SO for my weight, I told her I was just going to have to speak to her later.   She stopped the accusations and I asked her if she could name a time in my life, at ANY point, that I had not been severely overweight?  After stammering and telling me how I was "big boned" (haha), etc.  and then I broke it to her what my weight is and has been over the years, she finally said that of course she would support me in whatever decision I made.  I think the realization that I have about 125 extra pounds was eye opening.

I made a clear case regarding the risks of surgery vs. the risk I carried with continuing my current path, and the various co-morbidities and family history of things. 

Overall, it went well.  Not my ideal way of telling my mom, and I hope she doesn't worry herself crazy.  It bothers me that I'm not there to reassure her.


H.

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03/11/2013
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Mar 05, 2008
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