franRN76

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2 Months to go.  I am beginning to get excited and a tad bit nervous as well. Trying to keep myself busy with work and moving.  I do plan to take it a bit easier in Dec.   In the process of packing for a move just around the corner to a small apartment. Will help us save some money as well as be less work to keep clean. 

Can't seem to get a handle on my eating.  Sweet tooth galor.  Am I eating all this crap now just because I am thinking that I cannot ever eat it again?  When it comes to sweets, I hope that I dump like crazy.  Or atleast lose the cravings for them.  

 

Only 2.5 months til my surgery (new birthday).  I am beginning to get nervous and excited. I cannot possibly research anymore.. LOL.  I am trying to stay active here on OH.  I love reading the posts of veterans and questions from the newbies.  It gives me sort of an insight in what to expect. Now I do know that everyone's experience is different. 

I am hoping to be working more the next 2 months in order to put up some $$$ for when I am out, but also to keep my brain occupied and distracted away from the surgery.

So I have decided to make a list of things that I want to do once I have the surgery and get the weight off.  I want to be able to do alot of things, that my weight has either hindered or I was too embarrassed to try.

1. Zumba Class: heard it is fun.  I have no rhythm as it goes now, but the weight hinders my mobility alot.  I am also so self conscience about me huffing and puffing, tripping and falling, or just the fact that I would feel like everyone was looking at the "fat girl" and snickering.  I know most of this is just in my head.  But still cant get over it.
2. Roller Coasters: love em' or used to.  Haven't been on one since I was in high school.  Even then the attendant had to really work to get the seat belt connected.  How embarrassing that was.  I am not sure if they had the seats that were made for bigger people.  I was 220-230 then.  So, I am hoping that in July or August of next year I will be at that weight or close to it.  Cause I am gonna try.  Now I am 15 years older and might not even like them anymore.  But I am looking forward to going with my niece and nephew next year.
3. Hiking/camping: I just want to be healthier and more energetic so that I can enjoy the outside.  I loved going camping as a kid.  Photography is another hobby that I love.  I love taking pictures of nature.  I cant wait until I have the energy to get out more and take more pictures. 

I am so tired of:
- people seeing me as the "fat girl" and not taking the time to get to know ME.
- be stereotyped just because of my size, that I must eat a house at each meal.
- being short of breath just going upstairs to my bedroom.  It takes me 30 minutes just to get me heart rate down and my breathing under control.
- YoYo'ing with my weight only to end up right back where I started from a  month later.
- hiding behind this weight.  This weight is not shelter for me.  It is not a safe haven.  It is a death sentence unless I get control of it now.
- using food for comfort.  I want to find other outlets to handle my stress. I want to depend on food for sustenance ONLY.

Got my date. So I guess my new year's revolutions of past are finally gonna come tue.  JAN.3, 2011.  For many years I have said that this years gonna be the Year to get healthier and thinner.  Well I can definiely say that about 2011.  With the surgery there is gonna be little chance that I will YoYoYo all year, only to be the same weight again by dec 31. 

Still I do wish that it could have been a little sooner. Oh well.    It really hasn't been that long since I started this journey.  So I am gonna be ok with it.  By the time that I have the surgery it will only have been 5 months waiting.  Not too bad.  I am just so psyched to have a date.  Guess it wont be such a bad way to start the New Year!  2011 here I come!

Even after taking my trazadone to help fall asleep last night, it took me over an hour to go to sleep.  I was making lists in my head.  I made a list of questions that I wanted to ask the nutritionist and the surgeon when I get my follow up appt.  I also made a list of things that I needed to start buying to have at the house.  I also made a list of what I needed/wanted to take with me to the hospital.  I even made a lists of things to tell the anesthesiologist when I see him about my possible reaction to anesthesia (had a hard time waking up and was throwing up for awhile right after recovery).  All these lists and I still DONT have a date.   So frustrating... LOL.  Who would have ever thought that me, the wimp, would actually be looking forward to having my stomach cut open AGAIN.  My gallbladder surgery was HELL.

Surgeon's questions: all about pain management.  About having scheduled toradol post-op.
NUT questions: Vitamins I need to take and when.  VitC and zinc (pre-op and postop) does it help with healing.
Anesthesiologist questions: discuss difficulty waking up after anesthesia.. nausea
THINGS needed: baby utensils, water dispenser, crocpot, measure cups, night gowns, under clothes, ponds face cloths, personal hygiene wipes.
Hospital packing: deodorant, gowns, robe, underwear, slip on shoes, IPOD AC charger, phone charger, travel size soap, camera,


I'm rambling I know! LOL.  I am so tired.  I have been working since Thursday of last week.  Never slept monday after working sunday graveyard shift. After being up for 25 hours I slept for 3.. then was up for 2 and then i went to bed lastnight.  Duh and had to be back up at 6am this morning. trying to make it til 9pm b4 i go to sleep.  I hope that getting this all off my head, I will be able to sleep better tonight

Well today i talked to the CNP.  My lab work didnt make it to her lab.  Anyway, I am sure glad that I called her yesterday and asked if they had received it.  She said that everything looked good, but I needed to start taking a VitD supplement.  So I guess that I need to start back taking al my vitamins as well.  It appears that it will be Dec-Jan (around the holidays) when I may have my surgery.  CNP said that I should get a date soon.  I was hoping to have it earlier, but its out of my hands.  We shall see. I will keep updating here.

Started a low card diet yesterday to see if I can get my weight loss jump started. But also if I eliminate my high carb trigger foods now, it should be able to avoid them post gastric bypass.  Been drinking 2 protein drinks with milk for a total of 52g of protein.  I did eat a crabcake, but it didnt seem to have alot of breading.  I also had homemade chili tonight.  Carbs from the beans, but tons of protein. 

TEC is being very supportive.  But I do think that he is scared.  He says to do what I want to do and he will supprt me.   He has been doing pretty good yesterday and today about not tempting me with foods. Yesterday he even waited until I went to bed b4 he ate anything.  LOL.  I love him so much.  I know that he will help me stay on track post-op.

So I was thinking that I should put myself on the liquid diet for a day or two just to get the feel for it.  At this point today though, I am starving.  So I am making a compromise.  I am gonna begin doing low carb.  My goal is to eat no breads/pasta/rice for this week.  I am gonna drink 2 of my protein shakes (56g each) throughout the day and have one meal of meat/eggs and veggies.  So today I am having scrambled eggs with cheese, peppers and onions.  Tomorrow I will most likely have some veggies and chicken. The only carb/treat that I am gonna allow myself is Healthy choice fudge bar (16carbs, fiber 5, sugars 5).  If nothing else, it will give me a taste of life post gastric bypass.  Also it may jump start my weight loss and allow me to have more than 5 pounds off by the time that I see the MD. 

I talked with the NP at the surgeons office to see if they had received all my pre-screening.  She had it all but not my labs.  I'm like. WTF.  Quest sent me the results last week in the mail.  With the MD, all they had to do is fax it.  Oh well.  Allise said she would call them.  So hopefully all the info will be sent to the insurance for pre-approval today or tomorrow.  Then it is a waiting game.  I asked her how long it normally took, she didn't give me a straight answer.  She did say that my surgery probably wouldn't be til Dec.  POUTS!  If that is the case, I may have to put it off til after New Year's because of work.

I am also looking into vitamins and such.  I think that I have found the ones that I will buy.  I am thinking the bariatic advance (or advantage).  It's gonna be a little pricey though.  3months supply of MVI, iron, calcium, and SL B12 = $120 plus tax and shipping.   I guess if I break that down into month supplies it is only $40 a month for them all.  That's $10 each/month.  So, I guess its not too bad.  I have heard someone tell me to just take chewable flinstones MVI.  I'm not to keen on that idea, because they are formulated for kids not adults.  Just seems that something would be missing.

My brain is on overdrive, which I can only assume is normal.  I do not feel nervous or anxious about the actual surgery at all.  I just feel nervous about how I will react once a big chunk of this weight is off.  I am sure I will feel great physically and maybe even some emotionally. I am worried that as I shed this weight (my protection),  that past demons may come back to haunt me.  I am afraid of being vulnerable again.  Good news is I am atleast considering the possibility to handle this, so if it happens I have this time to come up with a battle plan. I had the required PSYCH appt today. He said that I'm SANE and that I am ready for the surgery, with his blessings. He also said that, although it was a possibility, he doesn't think that I will have that much of a problem coping emotionally to the weight loss. If I did, I would atlease be better prepared to handle it.  He was impressed that I had the maturity that I had.

Sleep study went well also. I wasn't awakened to have a CPAP placed and wasn't sent with one home.  The tech stated that I didn't have enough episodes for her to have placed me on it.  I have a follow-up appt in a month.  I guess that once the MD reviews the results, he will call me if there is anything abnormal or if I need to be seen earlier.

I am so PSYCHED.  Cardiologist appt Thur.  Then I am done with the pre-screening.  Then I wait for the insurance approval.  Not sure how long that will take. I am not so good at this waiting game though.I   was hoping to have this done in NOV. Maybe I can get it a little sooner than that.  All I have to do is give my work 30 days notice for the FMLA.

I'm gonna be a busy Bee the next couple of weeks. All my pre-screening, including my sleep study, will be completed within the next 2 weeks. I went against my norm and bit the bullet.  No PROCRASTINATION for me.  Well the only thing I've put off is officially telling my manager.  But I did send him an email and mentioned the fact that I was probably gonna be having surgery in Nov and would be out for 4-6 weeks.  Hopefully then, they will have the new nurse orientated.

I have been trying to change my diet a little. Cutting back on carbs.  Well I am atleast not eating the entire box of mac and cheese for a meal.  I have given up my sodas.  I have decreased my sweet intake from everyday to every other day.  I know I need to do better, but its the best that I can do right now.  Being stressed and pms'ing is making me crave sweets. 

I visited with my sister this past weekend and was able to talk to her about this.  I think she is the one person who has "gotten" me this whole time.  Now she did mention her fears of complications, but she is supportive.  She even told me "hey, how long have you been trying to get this weight off? How many different diets have you tried?  Who you trying to convince.. me or YOURSELF?" 

I still feel the need to justify my decision.  When will I be able to just say: I am having bariatric surgery because I want to be healthier so I can have children?  Instead now I feel like I have to explain myself to anyone that I am talking to about it.  Who knows, maybe it is just in my head.  Maybe I am really justifying it to myself and not to them. 

Well after my pre-screening is completed, it will be a waiting game.  I am not good at waiting.  Patience will have to start to be my middle name.

GOD Bless

Hi I am frances.  34 yrs old. Nurse of 14 years.  I have struggled with my weight forever.  Put up with all the stigmas that go along with being overweight as well.  I was 220 when I graduated HS.  Ballooned up to and over 300 in my 20's, when I was diagnosed with PCOS.  I am currently at my highest weight of 360 and I am both, amazed and ashamed. 

I have had fleeting thoughts of WLS, but have pushed it to the back of my mind.  Since becoming diagnosed with HTN in OCT 2009, I have been thinking of it more.  I even lost 22 pounds, only to regain it plus about 20 more.  I realize that I cannot continue on this Yo-Yo weight loss/gain roller coaster. 

I am currently in the pre-screening process.  I met with the dietitian and the surgeon.  Pre-screening blood work drawn, awaiting results.  Appts made for the next 2 weeks:  psychologist, cardiac clearance and consult for sleep study.  Awaiting the appt for my pulmonary function test from my surgeons office.  Surgeon is shooting for NOV surgery.  We shall see. 

Questions:
- Should I start FMLA papers for work now or when i get the date?
- I have AFLAC for ST disability, when should I call them?
- When and how is the best way to tell my manager at work?