FutureHopes

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Well because of me having windows 8 on my laptop i am unable to blog or respond to messages anymore! Truly disappointing, as i was using my blog to track this whole process. I am on my work computer, so i thought i'd update quick.

Well i'm 3 months out now, and im so close to a 50lb loss that i can taste it!! I'm down 48.6lbs so far!! I am so happy with my decision to get the sleeve. I seem to have a sleeve of steel. There's not been one thing that's caused my any discomfort, it's easy to forget i had surgery at all. As of today i weigh 214.6, my highest weight was 263, and i was 252 on surgery day.

I've been making good choices, but it's not easy. I sometimes wish i would have dumping with sugar like RNY patients do. I still have all my same cravings, and some of my old habits are already trying to creep back in! I've been doing my best to keep them at bay, but sometimes i mess up. I feel so guilty when i do =(  I'm only human though, and i am not going to give up!  I was also doing sooo good with exercise for a while, but i've been slacking on that a bit, too. My treadmill has been neglected with these beautiful summer days. I will make a better effort in that department.

I am still very proud of myself. I take the stairs instead of the elevator, i walk to the store, last night my dh fried up some fish, but i threw mine in the oven and baked it. I make little decisions every single day that are making an impact on my life. I pack my lunch everyday. I've said no to every doughnut and baked good that has been sitting in the lunch room at work. So although i do make mistakes sometimes, overall i am becoming a newer healthier me. I LOVE my sleeve!

i can finally update my blog! i got a new laptop and i thought OH was acting up because it wouldn't let me update, but here i am on my old laptop and its working just fine!

Where to begin? I had the surgery 9 days ago.  I was 252 on the day of surgery, i was 263 before my pre-op diet. im now 243, so thats a 20lbs loss from my HW!!! I woke up from surgery with tons of nausea that took a while to get under control. The pain was minimal and the dry mouth sucked. I went home after 2 days and it felt good to be in my own home.  Ive just been sipping ever since. Im doing well with getting my liquids in, but protein is a whole different story. I absolutely cant stand my unjury protein shakes anymore. they make me  sick. I've been drinking milk, adding powdered millk, and yogurt, but its not nearly enough  =( im going to try some rtd shakes from walmart. i need to find something that is at least tolerable. 

I hate meal times. I hate them because my "meals" are yogurt or creamed soup with unflavored unjury mixed in. I gag it down. I only eat like 3 tbs with a baby spoon.  I feel hungry often, and a CRAVE meat. anything my family eats makes me so jealous, i cant even be near them

Its been a really rough road so far, but i am beyond greatful for the opportunity to be sleeved. I've never once regretted my decision, i know it will get better once i cant start to eat some of my protein. i will make this work.

I was 263 at the start of the 10 day liquid only diet, this morning i weighed in at 249.8, goodbye 250 FOREVER!!! thats a loss of 13.2 lbs so far. Im so excited!!! im on clear liquids until wed then i can start the protein shakes again. they have me on roxicet for pain, something for nausea, and prilosec for acid. The worst part for me at first was the nausea. it took the nurses a while to find something to take it away. now that im at home i am focusing on getting in all of my liquids. Im still VERY happy with my decision! it feels like ive done a million sit-ups, but im slowly getting better.

SUCKS!!!

The only good thing is that i'm back down to where i started, before i went on vacation! 256.0

Seriously not eating is getting hard. Im always hungry. Im so proud of me though, and so is my hubby.

I do get full when i blend my protein shakes with ice, but im just getting sick of the dang things! Also i dont stay full long, so im back hungry again within an hour.

I will do this though, i will i WILL. I am getting sleeved on Friday WOO HOO!! I so can do this.

Well i just got back from our Disney vacation it was absolutely amazing/. I definitely had a lot of food funerals, the scale showed it today! I gained 10lbs in a week. Im not proud of it, but today i started my 10 day liquid pre-op diet, and im not going to beat myself up about it. Moving forward and preparing for surgery in 10 days!!

I also had my pre-op physical today and all went well, onwards and upwards! Now time to starve myself for 10 days and my reward will be my sleeve.

I've been freezing lots of food to eat during and after my pureed stage. I've got homemade soups, broth, ground up rotisserie chicken, smoked salmon, teriyaki chicken, and chicken chili. All very high in protein.

Lets get this show on the road!!

My hubby has started feeling a little insecure about my upcoming surgery. He started by joking around about me not wanting him anymore after i lose the weight, and he's gotten progressively more serious. I feel so bad, i stroke his ego as often as i can.  I really didn't think we'd go through this, I know it's only going to get worse. He's my best friend in the whole world, and my soul mate. We've been together for nearly 10 years. I feel awful that he's feeling this way. How can i show him that he doesn't have to worry about that? I love him with all my heart, he's the best father and most amazing husband; I'm not going anywhere.

im trying to do little things to prepare. I bought a ninja blender, i love it! I made some mudslides tonight for my sister and i, she even said it rocked!

I ordered an unjury sample pack, and a container of unjury unflavored.

I made a big pot of chicked noodle soup and froze myself lots of the broth and some of the soup

i dusted off the scale

researching treadmills

Good news: I got my date!! Feb 22nd, and it cant come soon enough!

Bad news: They did an ultrasound and it should that i have numerous gallstones, this means they will also be taking my

gallbladder out.  I say its bad news, but it really isnt too bad. I was pretty shocked, but it does explain some of the pain ive had over the years, and it would've only gotten worse over time. I'd rather have them take it out now while they are already in there.

oh and my mom just informed me that 2 of my aunts and my grandma had their gallbladders removed, so its probably genetic.

anyways.. LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!!

well no eating or drinking for me after midnight tonight, i meet with the surgron tomorrow and they will be doing an US to look at my gallbladder. I have a feeling mine will end up needing to be removed, because my aunts and my grandma had to get their's removed and it probably runs in the family, im ok with it.. If i do have to get it removed, they will do it at the same time they do my sleeve.

Tomorrow i will also schedule my surgery, YES!!! i cant wait to know when ill be sleeved.

So my husband and I took our kids to an indoor trampoline park by our house called sky zone.

They have this really fun looking pit of these foam blocks that you can jump in for the trampoline. Ive been wanting to jump in for a while, so i did..... BIG MISTAKE.

I literally could not climb out! The foam cubes were so deep and thick!! I had nothing hard to stand on, or put my hands on to pull or push up. I was so humiliated, i must have looked like a fool trying to get out. This guy kept asking if i needed help and i said no. Finally my husband came to my rescue. He had to get in the pit to get me out, everyone was watching. So my husband was pushing me up while the other guy was standing on the deck pulling me up by my hands.

This is seriously the first time that my weight has absolutely humiliated me!!!

Hurry up sleeve, i need you =(

ive added a new goal, next year i WILL jump in and climb out!!!! The foam cubes will not win. Oh and at least if i cant get myself out i will be small enough to be pulled out with ease ;)