13 months out, 110 pounds off me

May 23, 2012

I had actually made it down to 129 pounds, but am currently holding at 133.
I really wish I could get my head around this "That's not good enough" vibe - it is definitely good enough, it's way better than what I had initially thought I could achieve.
 And yet ... there's that little monster inside that says "you're not exercising enough, you need to lose more ..."

The monster is half correct - I should definitely exercise more.
But as for losing - hmmm. I thought I would be quite happy to stay around the 130 mark, and leave it there.

The exercise issue is thorny.

I had started running back in February, joined the Running Room's Learn to Run programme.
I stuck with it three times a week for 6 weeks.
I did have a hard time, and I was almost the slowest in our group (there was usually one injured individaul slower than I) but I stuck with it.

We had reached the "5 minutes running-1 minute walking" stage, and were doing 5 k over hills, when I suddenly experienced sharp stabbing chest pains.
They immobilized me. I had to stop running, clutching my chest, and waited for them to subside - which they did, after about 8 minutes.
So after consulting with the instructor and my doctor, I decided to join the Walking Room people instead. I go about once a week now.
I haven't experienced chest pain since, but with my history of heart problems, I do need to pay attention.

Then I experienced a difficult and mysterious problem at work one day. For six hours, I went through something called Global Transient Amnesia - I couldn't recognize people or names or numbers. It was disconcerting, and confusing. I felt quite helpless.
My memory is my stock in trade, especially at work - it's what makes me so good at my job. So losing that would be a terrible blow.
It was accompanied by a dull headache in an unusual spot in my noggin, and panic/confusion.
I've seen my doc, and she's sent me for a CT scan - we'll see what comes of it.

It's just a lesson that not all health issues are weight-elated. Even after all my hard work, I will still experience serious health issues, and must pay attention to them.

Lesson learned. Work in progress.
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9 months out, 94 pounds down

Dec 22, 2011

My weightloss is starting to bottom out, and that's okay.
I'm 3/4 of the way through the honemoon period where we lose and lose, so the end is in view.

On the bright side, I have reached my surgeon's goal and am feeling well.
I'd like to lose another 5-10 pounds, just to be secure in my new size 12, and to have reached the weight I was most comfortable with when I was younger.

It would "feel good" to be in the 140's or 130's, psychologically. And I do believe that the psychological part will be the most important to my continued well-being in the months to come.

After all, now is when I am going to face the real choices. Losing the weight was one thing, and the tool has worked.
Now, my head has to be retrained, and that's much harder.

Like everyone else, I fear regaining the weight more than anything else. If I should fail at this as well as every other weightloss initiative in my life, I will plunge into a depression I may never get out of - so I am resolved to do anything I must to keep in control of my appetites.

7.5 months out, 83 pounds down, and feeling So GOOD

Oct 21, 2011

It’s been 7.5 months, almost to the day, since the RNY.   And for the first time since I started the Optifast two weeks earlier, I feel at 100% of my former energy level.   Now, I must hasten to add that I was certainly NOT at my best just before the surgery, so it’s probably been over a year since I felt SO GOOD. Before the operation, I was exhausted most of the time. Climbing stairs was agony, and descending stairs was not much better. Running for a bus was a necessity, but I was bushed afterwards, frequently huffing and puffing for another 5 minutes before my heart subsided and my lungs quit burning. And speaking of my heart, I so frequently woke up with my heart hammering in my ears, and panting and gasping for air, that I thought this was normal!   And now I know. Now I know that normal feels so much better. No wonder people kept telling me to “just” go do this, or “just” go there and get that – it was so much easier for them, and they had NO IDEA how hard e v e r y t h i n g was for me. Hang in there, all you WLS neophytes! It gets so much better, once the weight starts going in earnest. I can’t wait to get outside and start running!

Intro - a little late

Sep 15, 2011

Hi guys.

It's six months post-op and I'm finally getting around to posting a profile.

I'll be 57 this year, and it's taken me all this time to finally do the thing that has changed my life so much - and so much for the better.

I've been overweight since I was 12. There were years when I was relatively good - hovered around 135 for several years - but I was always rounded and - hmmmm, what should I call it - LUSH.
I mean don't get me wrong - for many years, that was a bonus as a single woman who loved the nightlife.

But as I got older, it created its whole own set of health issues, and I commenced (at age 38) a whole series fo surgeries and illnesses that culminated in me becoming a fragile obese woman.
I would go on diets (all different kinds) and lose quite a bit of weight - my max was 47 pounds in 6 months - but it would of course always come back on.
At age 53 I experienced a mild heart attack. The week I spent in hospital undergoing many tests was a rude wakeup call.

Although I had always been an active fat girl, now I was a sedentary morbidly obese girl. I lost 20 pounds quite fast, but despite  a VERY healthy lifestyle from then on, could not effectively budge those pounds.
Then I met Dr. David Starr.

With the 20 pound weightloss, I began to experience pretty severe gallbladder issues, and after a six-month wait, Dr. Starr removed it. I was back at work 6 days later, and very pleased with myself.
Dr. Starr was not quite so pleased. At my three-week followup appointment, he order me to sit down so we could discuss my next surgery. 
"Huh" I said, "what surgery?"

After a long and very reasonable discussion it became clear that while I had always felt that bariatric surgery was an extreme measure I would never need, the time had come for me to think differently about it.
So Dr Starr, bless his little heart, performed the Roux-en-Y on April 4 2011.
(He really is a great surgeon - can't recommend him highly enough.)

Recovery was relatively uneventful, except that Humber River Regional Hospital was NOT on the ball when it came to my allergy against morphine - they had NOTHING lined up to deal with the immediate waking-up pain. That was miserable.
Not such great marks to the hospital for that - they had been told often enough that they would need an alternative ready, and didn't get the doctor's signature ready for a different opiate - I was in agony for way too long.

Once home, I turned out to be a Barfy.
Compared to my friends going through the same procedure at the same time, I was able to tolerate very little, both in variety and in quantity.
A barfy.

Six months out, I am definitely better, but not great yet.
I can eat about half of what my friends can eat - and then it takes a lot longer to chew and swallow and digest, and it's often a rocky road.

BUT - I am doing great.
I've lost 76 pounds so far, and have gone from a size 24 to a size 14 - and that's getting loose on me.
I feel pretty good - I'm not at 100% energy yet, but then I'm nly ingesting about 1000 calories a day, while working full-time and exercising a lot.

I look really great - everyone tells me so.
I've been lucky - while my hair is definitely thinning, I haven't lost near as much as my friends.

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Jan 04, 2011
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