GailinRI
My "real" age
Dec 20, 2009
Well - this is my first time EVER doing a blog..... and I don't know if others read them or not... but I guess I'm really doing this for myself so I can talk openly somewhere...I hate myself - I hate my life and can't stop crying. I have done every diet possible from diet pills to shot of the urine of pregnant woman, OA, diet center, WW, nutri system...optifast...... etc. etc... I ALWAYS gain it back and more.
I am unable to have the by-pass surgery due to pancreatic cancer in my family so I am now looking into the lap band. I don't think I can keep doing this..I HATE getting dressed and I Try not to go aywhere but work and home.
in May of 07 I had a panniculectomy where they took 25lbs of hanging fat. I thought that would be my incentive... but of course not - gained the 25 lbs back AND it looks worse then ever because not the 25 lbs are in my stomach in one place not hanging anymore. I hate my body even more now (which I didnt' think was possible)
Well for chanukkah my kids got me a Wii FIT and I went on it today... and - READY? I'm 56 years old and due to my age/wt/bmi (which is 50) my REAL AGE is 75!!!!!!!
I hope that opens my eyes... but I gotta tell you.... doesn't help the tears...:::::sigh::::
