Just maddening!!!

Jan 09, 2020

I think I've been down this same street a gazillion times trying to lose weight. I started this journey back in '08, and I've never been able to reach my goal. I had started going to the gym in 2018, but that didn't last long due to my finances, and me being exhausted after work.

I've started my weight loss journey again and I hope that I do reach my goal. I just got engaged on December 25th to my high school sweetheart (it's a very long love story), and we're planning to get married in 2021. My fiance is extremely underweight and we make the perfect "10". He's 1 and I'm 0. I'm tipping the scale at 250 and he's not even bumping it at 100 pounds. Yes, he's that underweight! 

I've never been this overweight in my life, only when I was pregnant with my last child, and that's because I WAS PREGNANT READY TO PUSH THAT BABY OUT! I feel disgusted with myself, and I really want to lose all this blasted excess weight. This weight is taking a toll on me, and I want to feel well physically.

I hate the way my body is responding to the excess weight. I hate the fact that I can't bend down without running out of breath. I hate the fact that I have a bit of a difficult time trying to get out of bed, trying to stand up from a sitting position or walking without dragging my feet. I hate the fact that sometimes I feel that my legs are about to buckle because of my weight. I hate the fact that I tire easily and prefer to be sitting or lying down. I hate the fact that even taking a shower and reaching to wash where the Sun don't shine is somewhat of a task. I hate the fact that drying myself is becoming a chore after I shower. I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate looking myself in the mirror and seeing how fat I am and how my head is ridiculously smaller than the rest of my body.




About Me
Pleasantville, NJ
Surgery Date
May 02, 2007
Member Since

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