gingerly1983
So I gained 30lbs this year...
Dec 22, 2011
I don't know what happened. :( Yes I do. I got sick of dieting, sick of high protein diets, sick of not being able to eat what I wanted. I needed a break! I was maintaining from January til August. Then I started eating whatever I wanted and BAM! 30lbs in 4 months. That's a hell of a lot. I'm so unhappy with myself. I know a lot of it is water weight. I've had to start going to see a Doctor and after ruling out every possible option (still waiting on my echocardiogram to come back to evaluate my heart) we have decided that it may be metabolic. She thinks I have shocked my body into retaining an immense amount of water. (14lbs in 3 days, WHILE on Lasix 40mg) It's ridiculous. This past weekend I gained 9lbs. WTF!?! I wasn't overeating and I didn't eat junk either. My doctor thinks I'm not getting enough protein in my diet. She said that protein actually draws fluid from the cells and since I wasn't getting enough, the fluid kept building up. Kind of makes sense I guess. I went from high protein low carb, strict for a year and a half, to stopping pretty abruptly. Grr...I'll be so pissed if I did this to myself. It all makes sense though. The extreme weight gain started 4 months ago when I stopped the diet.
So now I have to get back on the diet. This is the hardest part! I KNOW what I have to do, but I can't make myself do it!! I say this as I finish off a baked potato. :( I'll wake up in the morning and be like 'I WILL get back on track today!' Then I go to the fridge to get something for breakfast and completely kill that inspirational thought. Why can't my body do what I tell it to?! I hate myself for doing this. I don't want to gain up to the 350 I was! I already had to buy new scrubs, new jeans, and new shirts because I can't fit into any of my regular ones. It hurt me so bad to have to go up a size. I can't make myself stop though. It's like I'm out of control. I don't have any restriction whatsoever in my band. This is my fault, I was trained to do my own fills (I'm a nurse so don't freak out!) and I just haven't put anything in. I will do it tomorrow though. I've made my mind up that I will, so I have to make myself do it when I get off in the morning. I need a support system as well so starting tonight, I am back on OH. I have to make myself get back where I need to be!!! I was so happy at 220. I looked good at 220 and I FELT good at 220. So..this is it guys. I'm starting fresh today. Expect more blogs!!
Wish me luck!
...I really need it. :(
