A confession...

Mar 26, 2010

I was MC for an antiques show last night. I did a lot of standing and walking, and it didn't hurt! I don't even hurt this morning.

So, the confession... look at how big that jacket is. I'm in denial about how small I'm getting. My confession... I'm afraid to pinch myself and deal with the reality of losing weight consistently now.

Commentors on some previous blogs have said "it's not micro when you can do something you couldn't before." So... you're right. I'm already gaining back some of my life I lost to obesity... and yet it feels early in this process (six weeks, three days post op). I guess the dirty little secret is that the surgery, while important, is not the big deal key to this process like it feels like it is. It's the lifestyle mods... it's the 56 pounds I lost before surgery... the last 24 are great, too, but the first 56 really count!!

So, now I'm going to practice pinching myself, at least mentally, and say "hey! Enjoy the ride!"

Started with a psychologist near my home yesterday. I didn't select a weight loss/eating disorder expert... that was on purpose. I want to deal with all my issues... the self-worth, the self-sabotage, etc etc. We'll see if I goofed, but so far so good. I've been in therapy before, but it's been several years. I kind of hate the "getting to know you" phase where I spend the 50 minutes telling him my story. But I know I have to invest this time to reap the reward of getting some insight into what's up with my emotions. I'm getting frustrated easily... seems like more easily than I remember. And other stuff. Don't want to wig out on the way down here!!

OK, I really should do some work. TTFN

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