gochristy1971
March 27, 2011
Mar 27, 2011
Ugh, the electrolyte mix made me sick to my stomach! I almost didn't finish it! And it was not bad coming out at all...just going in!
I'm also choking down anti-biotics...I just want to go to bed, but I can't til 10 when I take my last dose.
I've been very teary today. I don't know if I can pinpoint why. It's a lot of things. Giving up food as I know it, fear of a huge surgery, fear of the unknowns...it is just emotional. I also feel like a hugs failure for having gotten to this point. But, I have consistently shown that I cannot do this on my own. I don't want to wait any longer. I have to realize that failure is not taking control and doing something really hard like this. It's a step in the right direction!
10 pm come on! I'm ready for sleep!!!
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I'm also choking down anti-biotics...I just want to go to bed, but I can't til 10 when I take my last dose.
I've been very teary today. I don't know if I can pinpoint why. It's a lot of things. Giving up food as I know it, fear of a huge surgery, fear of the unknowns...it is just emotional. I also feel like a hugs failure for having gotten to this point. But, I have consistently shown that I cannot do this on my own. I don't want to wait any longer. I have to realize that failure is not taking control and doing something really hard like this. It's a step in the right direction!
10 pm come on! I'm ready for sleep!!!
March 26, 2011
Mar 26, 2011
Liquids. I'm not even hungry. I have had water and some broth. I don't want to eat. Just don't feel like it. But, I feel very sad. Like I've lost a friend. Ok, not quite that bad, but I do feel sad. I feel like a huge failure to have gotten to the point of needing surgery for my weight. But, I also know I don't have any more in me. I don't want to wake up 10 years from now, at 50, and say "why didn't I do that when I was 40?"
The weather has been awful. Rain. And not just a little. A freakin' lot. I would be outside if it weren't so nasty; maybe I'd feel better if I were able to get out and just take a walk.
Today I was up early. I could hear my downstairs neighbor talking. So, I got up and started cleaning. I did the kitchen. Got rid of my chili I made Thursday. Won't be eating that. My kitchen sparkles! I sorted the crap on my dining room table. My birthday cards and balloon are there...all my surgery paperwork in my binder. My backpack on the table waiting to be packed. I still need to sort laundry, sweep, make my bed, and a few other little things. I'm hoping tomorrow it will be less rainy and I can do laundry without getting soaked.
I guess that's enough for now. For me to look back on, I just want to convey my sadness. I don't even know what else to say. I am leaving behind one life and getting another. I don't know what lies around the corner, but, if what other people say is true, it will be much much better!
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The weather has been awful. Rain. And not just a little. A freakin' lot. I would be outside if it weren't so nasty; maybe I'd feel better if I were able to get out and just take a walk.
Today I was up early. I could hear my downstairs neighbor talking. So, I got up and started cleaning. I did the kitchen. Got rid of my chili I made Thursday. Won't be eating that. My kitchen sparkles! I sorted the crap on my dining room table. My birthday cards and balloon are there...all my surgery paperwork in my binder. My backpack on the table waiting to be packed. I still need to sort laundry, sweep, make my bed, and a few other little things. I'm hoping tomorrow it will be less rainy and I can do laundry without getting soaked.
I guess that's enough for now. For me to look back on, I just want to convey my sadness. I don't even know what else to say. I am leaving behind one life and getting another. I don't know what lies around the corner, but, if what other people say is true, it will be much much better!
March 25, 2011
Mar 24, 2011
So, this is my last day of "normal" eating...I start liquids tomorrow. I'm ok with that...
Of course, I started my period. I am crampy and have the lower back pain. But, my breasts hurt really bad for two weeks before! I have read that many women start during or right after surgery anyway, due to blood thinners and body stress and such...I may just have an extra long one this month!
I guess I'm only a little nervous about the actual surgery. I'm a little worried about the pain after ward. I've heard stories all across the spectrum about the pain. I'm thinking it will be much like the pain of childbirth: it's something that I've chosen, something that has a worthwhile outcome, and once it's over, will be so much worth it!
Well, time to get on with this day!
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Of course, I started my period. I am crampy and have the lower back pain. But, my breasts hurt really bad for two weeks before! I have read that many women start during or right after surgery anyway, due to blood thinners and body stress and such...I may just have an extra long one this month!
I guess I'm only a little nervous about the actual surgery. I'm a little worried about the pain after ward. I've heard stories all across the spectrum about the pain. I'm thinking it will be much like the pain of childbirth: it's something that I've chosen, something that has a worthwhile outcome, and once it's over, will be so much worth it!
Well, time to get on with this day!
March 24, P.M. edition...
Mar 24, 2011
Things I want to look back on and see changes:
My knees (esp. the right) hurt when I go from sitting standing
My lower back hurts when I stand for any period of time
I can barely walk a mile and it's really slow
My HR gets really high when I do moderate exercise
I cannot climb stairs one leg after another; I can only use the left to lift me up the stairs
Personal hygiene is starting to be a challenge
Putting this in writing is very emotional for me. I hope to look back on this list and remember why I never want to go back here!
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My knees (esp. the right) hurt when I go from sitting standing
My lower back hurts when I stand for any period of time
I can barely walk a mile and it's really slow
My HR gets really high when I do moderate exercise
I cannot climb stairs one leg after another; I can only use the left to lift me up the stairs
Personal hygiene is starting to be a challenge
Putting this in writing is very emotional for me. I hope to look back on this list and remember why I never want to go back here!
March 24, 2011
Mar 24, 2011
My pre-op took all day yesterday. I saw a nurse, who weighed me and took my blood pressure. Then, I saw the nurse practitioner, who did a history and physical (quick over-all one). Then, as UC Davis Med Center is a teaching hospital, I saw a fellow, who just talked to me about the surgery. He said he'd see me Monday when I was going in to surgery. I have no idea how to pronouces his last name! I think it started with an H! Then, we had a little "class" with the surgery scheduler. There were 3 of us. Lots of questions. Time off is worrying me. I don't want to be off longer than necessary, as I am a very social person, and being at work with my peeps is a very social thing for me. Anyway...we will work on that as the time comes. So, I was left in the room, supposedly awaiting a visit from my surgeon. An hour and 15 later, someone was doing a room check, and saw me and said "What are you still doing here?" I just was like "Um, waiting.." My surgeon was in Boston, and not going to see me that day! After that, I had to get more labs drawn, pick up my pre-op anti biotic and colon cleanse stuff, and then meet with the anesthesiologist. It was a long day.
I went home and fell asleep early in the evening. got a call around 8 ish from the nurse practitioner at the Med Center. The lab screwed up my urine sample. They were supposed to split it; part for whatever and part for a pregnancy test. The did not do the pregnancy test. So, back again I go today!
After today, then, I will not go back til surgery on Monday! Clear liquids this weekend, Sunday the cleanse (yay? lol)
Ok...I'm on this journey (I hate that word)....for better or worse...here I come!
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I went home and fell asleep early in the evening. got a call around 8 ish from the nurse practitioner at the Med Center. The lab screwed up my urine sample. They were supposed to split it; part for whatever and part for a pregnancy test. The did not do the pregnancy test. So, back again I go today!
After today, then, I will not go back til surgery on Monday! Clear liquids this weekend, Sunday the cleanse (yay? lol)
Ok...I'm on this journey (I hate that word)....for better or worse...here I come!
March 23, 2011
Mar 23, 2011
So, I got a call yesterday confirming my Monday surgery! Pre-op was today. And I started my period. Ok. Well, aside from that...it's all good. I'm excited, nervous, scared, happy...all in one.
I had to have MORE blood work done. This in addition to the regular labs my doctor wanted, the 15 initial tubes that were drawn a couple weeks ago; so 4 more! All in all, 23 tubes of blood. OH AND a urine sample. No stone left unturned.
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I had to have MORE blood work done. This in addition to the regular labs my doctor wanted, the 15 initial tubes that were drawn a couple weeks ago; so 4 more! All in all, 23 tubes of blood. OH AND a urine sample. No stone left unturned.
March 22, 2011
Mar 22, 2011
So, I thought I'd do a journal of sorts...and just start with today. I am **this close to surgery. I am awaiting test results from my 3/11 pap, and have a tentative surgery date of 3/28. I don't think it's going to fly though, unless the test results came today, as they do pre-ops on Wednesdays, which is obviously tomorrow.
Anyway, at 322 ish pounds, I am in pain quite a bit. My knees; especially the right. My lower back. I did 2 miles Walk Away The Pounds (WATP) last night. It about killed me, but I did it! I had to modify the moves and slow it down a couple of times, and I took 2 water breaks. Just want to see where I am now, so I can compare where I am after surgery. I'm really an exerciser, but I have had a sinus infection since March 7, so I've not felt well. Last night, I knew it was time to recommit to the exercise! So, here I go again.
I feel stressed about the not knowing a date for surgery. I am prepared at work, but I just feel so disconnected. It's the unknowing, ya know?
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Anyway, at 322 ish pounds, I am in pain quite a bit. My knees; especially the right. My lower back. I did 2 miles Walk Away The Pounds (WATP) last night. It about killed me, but I did it! I had to modify the moves and slow it down a couple of times, and I took 2 water breaks. Just want to see where I am now, so I can compare where I am after surgery. I'm really an exerciser, but I have had a sinus infection since March 7, so I've not felt well. Last night, I knew it was time to recommit to the exercise! So, here I go again.
I feel stressed about the not knowing a date for surgery. I am prepared at work, but I just feel so disconnected. It's the unknowing, ya know?
Tomorrow, psych appointment
Mar 14, 2011
Tomorrow is my psych appointment. I'm not really that apprehensive about it, but, ya know, a little. I've had some major depressive episodes in my life, but, I'd say I have them under control. I don't know what the appointment is really about, but, I'd imagine that they want to know if I think surgery is going to fix all my problems. The only thing I believe it's going to do is help me eat less, so I can lose weight. A by-product of that is that I will not be afraid to try active things that I am afraid to try now, but I have, I think, a realisitc idea of what is going on. But, I don't know what they are "looking" for....
Friday I meet with the nutritionist, and will most likely be given a surgery date. Happy 40th Birthday to me!!!
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Friday I meet with the nutritionist, and will most likely be given a surgery date. Happy 40th Birthday to me!!!
Nutrition....protein OH MY!
Mar 09, 2011
I had my nutrition class today. I have kept food journals for most of my adult life. But, I have never kept track of the actual nutrients, such as protein. It is NOT EASY to get the right amount and right kind of protein in with food alone! I have had a very "good" day food wise, and I've only had 685 calories and 33 g of high value protein. I'm going to have a protein shake made with milk, and that will boost me up, but without the shake, I would never get in the amount I need.
I'm glad they require us to do two weeks of food journals. Like I said, I've done them before, but not in the way that I will need to for surgery.
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I'm glad they require us to do two weeks of food journals. Like I said, I've done them before, but not in the way that I will need to for surgery.
Abdominal ultrasound, being sick....
Mar 08, 2011
I went for my abdominal ultrasound yesterday, in spite of the fact that I've been sick since last Thursday (sinus infecton...I have not been this sick in a long time!) They like to check for gallstones so that if there are any, they can remove the gallbladder during surgery. I have a "rather sizeable" gallstone! I have had zero symptoms, but it was just a matter of time. So, it's good that they checked!
Tomorrow is the nutrition class. I hope I don't feel lousy. It's at 1:00 p.m. and I usually start feeling worse in the afternoon.
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Tomorrow is the nutrition class. I hope I don't feel lousy. It's at 1:00 p.m. and I usually start feeling worse in the afternoon.
About Me
CA
Location
51.9
BMI
Surgery
03/28/2011
Surgery Date
Jan 24, 2011
Member Since
