March 26, 2011

Mar 26, 2011

Liquids.  I'm not even hungry.  I have had water and some broth.  I don't want to eat.  Just don't feel like it.  But, I feel very sad.  Like I've lost a friend.  Ok, not quite that bad, but I do feel sad.  I feel like a huge failure to have gotten to the point of needing surgery for my weight.  But, I also know I don't have any more in me.  I don't want to wake up 10 years from now, at 50, and say "why didn't I do that when I was 40?"

The weather has been awful. Rain.  And not just a little.  A freakin' lot.  I would be outside if it weren't so nasty; maybe I'd feel better if I were able to get out and just take a walk.

Today I was up early.  I could hear my downstairs neighbor talking.  So, I got up and started cleaning.  I did the kitchen.  Got rid of my chili I made Thursday.  Won't be eating that.  My kitchen sparkles!  I sorted the crap on my dining room table.  My birthday cards and balloon are there...all my surgery paperwork in my binder.  My backpack on the table waiting to be packed.   I still need to sort laundry, sweep, make my bed, and a few other little things.  I'm hoping tomorrow it will be less rainy and I can do laundry without getting soaked.

I guess that's enough for now.  For me to look back on, I just want to convey my sadness.  I don't even know what else to say.  I am leaving behind one life and getting another.  I don't know what lies around the corner, but, if what other people say is true, it will be much much better!

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About Me
CA
Location
51.9
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/28/2011
Surgery Date
Jan 24, 2011
Member Since

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