Still trying still don't see
Apr 18, 2010
I haven't posted in a long time. I guess thats what people do when they have the surgery and the weight starts falling off. And I think thats because we are so much more active because we feel so much better. I know with me thats whats going on. I volunteer with my church now which keeps me very busy, I got a membership at Fitworks and who knew!? I LOVE IT!!! If you had told me I would be here a year ago I would have laughed in your face and said yea right! I try to go 3 - 4 times a week and heres the real kicker....I NEVER would go anywhere by myself before and now I go to the gym by myself and I love it! I still don't see the loss. Don't get me wrong I know it in my head because I see the clothes I wear are smaller, I went from a size 24 and I was starting to go into size 26 and had on some things to a size 12 and from a 26 - 32 top or 3x - 4x top to a XL and large. WOW! So my head knows it because of that but my eyes just will not see it. I still see the huge woman from before. And now its getting harder and harder to get the weight off. I have lost 91lbs and I know thats alot but I was so hoping it would be so much more by now. I know muscle weighs more than fat and I know I am still losing inches but I want that scale to move. I am still over 200lbs (201) and even though no one believes me when I say that its true. People guess my weight at around 160ish and when I tell them I am still over 200lbs they don't believe me. That does make me feel good and all the comments about how good I look are greatly appreciated but they still have a hard time understanding that I don't see what they see. Oh well one day. This has started out to be a great spring for me. I have so much energy! I am truly loving working out in my yard. I just wish I had alot more money to spend on flowers, trees, landscaping bricks etc. I could go crazy. I even mowed the lawn with the push mower instead of the tractor. It was great! I walk at work during lunch roughly 2 miles and I get to the gym at least 3 times a week unless it is a week where my volunteering is heavy. I go to see Dr. Sonnanstine again on my one year anniversary, April 29. I keep telling everyone he is going to say I am his worse failure. I haven't even lost 100 lbs yet! I am going to take a pair of my big jeans and a t-shirt that I use to wear before surgery and change into them when I get to his office. I am going to get a rope and measure it to the length my waist size use to be and use that as a belt and write the length on it and put the size I am now on it to really see the difference. I am also going to blow up a before picture and put it on my t-shirt so you can really see. The first time I saw my drivers license after losing so much weight I started bawling. Now in that picture I can so tell in my face. I can now put both legs into one leg of these jeans! How great (really sad what I did to myself then) is that! I hope he has new patients in his office that day. I remember how much seeing the change in people encouraged me when I was beginning this journey. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself and I would do it all over again. My only regret like most people is waiting so long to do it. I wasted alot of years. But hind sight is 20 - 20 so I have to be thankful for what my life is now and look forward to the rest of it and I am certainly going to do just that!
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Weight and measurement update
Dec 30, 2009
Well I went to see Dr. Sonnanstine this month after having my labs done. He was extremely pleased with my progress. He said my vitamin levels were awesome especially my vitamin b-12, which is what I was worried about. I was so afraid I would have to take shots if that was low. But he said that was the best he had ever seen. He even asked me what I was doing. I told him what he said I should do. I still take my vitamins (miss sometimes) and I eat 5 times a day so I am still never hungry. That is so strange to me....I have not felt hunger since my surgery 4/29. So I guess I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. He did tell me that I could go to eating 4 times a day if I want to but I think I will stay with the 5, mainly because I don't want to feel the hunger anymore. I am afraid if I do I will eat too much or eat the wrong things again. Oh and don't get me wrong I have tried things that are not the right things since my surgery. And unfortunately I seem to be able to eat anything with the execption of bread/ pasta (carbs) which is a good thing. I could have lost more I am sure if I exercised more. I did so good in the summer when I could get in the pool. But now in the winter I really don't enjoy the treadmill or the bike. But I did get a wii for Christmas and I am certainly getting a workout with that. I am going to get the wii fit plus and I think that will help me. At any rate I am down 80lbs and 49". I still get all the comments from people about how great I look and they all call me skinny minny.....however, I am no where near being skinny. I am still over 200lbs but when I tell people that they don't believe me they say they thought I was more around 150-160 (blind!). I guess because I have lost pretty evenly everywhere. I can still tell in my face but thats really all I see. Oh well I will see it eventually. I still want to lose another 40 - 50lbs we'll see. I have slowed down alot as far as the weight loss. We are having a contest at work with weight loss again this year. This time however you are only competing against yourself. If I lost 10% or more of my weight, which would mean 20-22lbs in 3 months I get $100.00. So obviously now I have another incentive to lose. And I know I can do it so I will have $100.00 extra to buy something new for myself. I can now wear a size XL in t-shirts and sweat shirts and there is room to spare. My pants I have not bought any new in a while so I am still in 16 - 18 (although I do have a coupel of 14's that I can get into) but they are getting big so I will have to try some on. Last week I was putting clothes away in the closet and saw my wedding dress hanging in there in the bag so I thought I want to see how close I am to that size. I tried it on and it was too big. If I wanted to wear it again I would have to have it taken in. That was an awesome feeling. I have been with my husband for 24 years but we didn't actually get married until 1999 (our son was the best man at 12). So I am smaller than I was over 10 years ago. My Mom and younger brother and his family live in Florida and I have not seen them since my surgery. They all say they won't recognize me when they come up this year. Well you know they will but there will be less of me. They are all so happy for me and I can't wait for them to see. I haven't sent pics either. So it will be fun to see the looks on their faces. As far as the holidays I did okay I think as far as eating. I didn't lose anything but I did not deprive myself of anything. I baked over 20 dozen cookies and made gift bags for the neighbors and I enjoyed every minute of it Even my husband said wow as much as you were in the kitchen you did not complain once. And hes right. Last year I would never have attempted all I did this year beause I hurt everywhere. Just standing in the kitchen for any length of time would have killed me. Its hard to believe I was like that. But I will never forget it because if I do I could fall back into that again. And there is no way I am going to do that. I even volunteered this year and stood for over 3 hours and had the best time ever. I am so thankful to God for giving me this second chance and I am not going to disappoint Him, my family or myself by going back. I Love life now! And I am happy. I can't believe how good I feel how much better my quality of life is and its only going to get better.
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Weight and measurements
Nov 07, 2009
First of all after weighing this month my total weight loss is 72lbs and 47 inches gone! WOW thats like losing a grade school child......I am constantly amazed that people are telling me how good I look and how proud they are of me. No one really understands (or believes me) I guess when I tell them I wish I could see what they see. Don't get me wrong I can certainly tell in my face, and of course I know because I feel so much better and my clothes are baggy and I am in smaller sizes. I never dreamed I'd get into another size 18 but I have, or a size 16 but I have, and NEVER NEVER see my butt in a size 14 EVER again but oh my God I have. Before the surgery I was going to go into a size 26-28. But I don't really see....I mean really see. I still look in the mirror and see me with the 72lbs still on. I know Dr. Tom told me and so did Steve, his nurse that its normal for WLS patients to feel this way and that one day maybe when I least expect it I will really see what has happened. I still have another 60lbs to go to get to the goal I have set for myself and I know I will get there but I think right now I am going through some sort of poor pitiful me stage. Well at least my patience is being tried I guess. I'm going through my I want it off now stage again. I really can't wait to finally see what everyone else is commenting on. And don't get me wrong it is very encouraging hearing all the great comments and I do know they are sincere, and its very motivating to hear. I just want to see myself, not through someone elses eyes and comments. How long is it going to take for that to happen? I know I sound depressed but I'm really not I am very happy, happier than I've been in a very long time. And everyone around me has commented on how nice it is that the real me is back. Well so am I. I knew I was miserable in my own skin but I really thought I hid it alot better than I thought I did. But now that my eyes are open again and I look back I can see how unhappy I truly was and I really didn't hide it very well. Now I enjoy my life so much more again. I have truly wasted alot of time being miserable with all this weight on. I would advise anyone to take this step and change their lives for the better. If its possible to have the surgery and help yourself....DO IT! Don't wait!
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40 inches just gone!!!!!
Sep 29, 2009
Whoo Hoo!!! Who knew? I'm sure someone did but I never thought I would be saying before the end of this year how happy I am and how much better I feel. I have lost 63 lbs in 5 months but better than that I have lost a total of 40 inches, most of it in my stomach and hips. Its awesome! I have so much more energy. I finally went shopping the other day and I was going to try on size 18's and the one pair of pants I liked had a size 20 and a size 16. My husband said here try the 16's....I told him he was crazy there was no way my big butt was going to fit into those. He insisted. I went to try them on and oh my God!!!! They fit......I started crying in the store. He thought I was upset because they wouldn't fit and he started saying well clothes are made differently don't let it get to you. I told him that wasn't it....they fit! He said so why are you crying? I asked him if he had any idea how long it had been since I had been able to wear a 16. Of course he didn't know (last year he asked) Yea right! Whatever! Its been over 20 years! Then we went to the register and the girl asked for my ID since my card was not signed and when I pulled my license out to show her I saw my picture and for the first time I actually saw what I looked like and started just bawling at the register. My husband said don't mind her this is like the 3rd time today she has started crying in the store. We explained to her I had lost 63lbs and she looked at the picture and said oh my God thats awesome! What an emotional day that shopping trip was. Scot said he wasn't going with me anymore (he will) because I was out of control. Poor thing he didn't know what to do. He was happy for me and is very supportive but he felt like he was on a wild roller coaster ride with me that day! It was GREAT! I only have 30 more pounds to go to be under 200lbs and I am so excited I can't wait. This is the absolute best thing I have ever done for myself. Other than the license picture I still look in the mirror and see the before surgery me, even though I know I'm not that big anymore and I know my clothes are way too big and I am in smaller things and I feel better etc...I still do not see what everyone else says they see. I know one day I will see it and I am so looking forward to it. Sometimes though I wonder if it will ever come. But for now I am loving life!
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Saw Dr. today
Aug 21, 2009
I saw Dr. Tom today. He is very happy with my progress and so am I. I am down 56lbs and a total of 34"! I still have a long way to go but thank You God I am not where I was. I think I am finally going to have to break down and get a few items of clothing.....almost everything I have is falling off of me....One of the girls at work called me a stick in a bag the other day....because I have lost so much that my clothes look like sacks hanging off of me.....but you know what? One of the reasons I haven't bought anything new yet that will fit me is because as long as I am wearing my big baggy clothes, I feel like I am losing. I know sounds crazy but I don't see the weight loss everyone else does yet so if my clothes are baggy I feel like I am losing and I think if I buy something that fits I will lose that feeling. I know I will see the weight loss eventually but right now the baggy clothes are all I have. I have been in the pool kicking and dog paddling for all its worth, I do the treadmill but Ive slowed down on getting on the bike. I am by no means an exercise nut nor will I ever be. But I am moving and doing more in the last 3 months than I have in the last 5 years or more. So I am proud of my accomplishments so far. I was telling Dr. Tom today that I don't even want food and I haven't since my surgery. I basically eat because I know I have to. So the saying you eat to live not live to eat is soooooooo true. Nothing sounds good to me and I am never hungry. I thought I would miss fast food...nope! I have never really had a sweet tooth so that doesn't bother me. I did try a donut the other day to see if I would tolerate it.....not a problem. There are only 2 things I have found that I need to stay away from and thats bread and scrambled eggs. I have only gotten sick 3 times since the surgery and I have had no problems with the vitamins and I believe I have the 64oz of water taken care of finally. I am just really enjoying life right now and how much more active I am. Its amazing! I have been truly blessed.
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Feel better and better daily
Jul 31, 2009
I cannot believe I am down 50lbs since surgery and better still I am down a total of 31". I feel so good. I have so much energy. This is absolutely the best thing I have ever done for myself. I feel like I have added years onto my life. I have a much better outlook now. I have started to care about me again. I care about what I wear, having my nails and hair done again, wearing more makeup, and generally enjoying finding clothes to wear. The compliments are wonderful to hear. I can't wait to be able to actually see what everyone else sees. I still see the huge me. I still have a long way to go but thank God I am not where I was and I don't ever want to go back there again. I am so much happier. Its strange people always thought I was a happy person before but now they even comment on the sparkle they see back in my eyes and the spring in my step. They see how much happier I am and thats a really good feeling. I don't dread cleaning my house or cooking or anything for that matter that would require me to stand for any length of time because my legs, back and feet hurt so bad and now they don't anymore. I am actually looking forward to going on vacations and short trips to amusement parks , the beach and the mountains again. This surgery has absolutely been a life saver for me and I would do it again in a heart beat! And I am teaching myself to eat better and to exercise and I actually enjoy it because I am not miserable anymore. I had forgotten what it was like to feel this way and I don't ever want to forget again. And I know that if losing 50lbs has done this for me I can't even imagine what another 50 - 90 lbs will do. I can't wait its a wonderful journey to be on and I am enjoying all of it...I may get discouraged sometimes because I don't see the numbers go down on the scale as fast as I would like but you know what thats okay because the inches are leaving and I can wait on the numbers....I am actually pretty proud of myself for changing my life and doing what I need to to prolong my life. And with the help of my friends and family but most of all God I will be a success........
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Progress
Jul 02, 2009
Well I am down 41lbs and over 21"....who knew!!! I still need to work on getting my water in. I don't know why that is giving me trouble. I am eating a litte more and so far have had no real issues to speak of. Sometimes I forget that I need to eat very slowly but its only made me sick a couple of times so I am working on that. I feel so much better than I have in years. I can do so much more. Its amazing how when you are putting the weight on you don't even realize how much you have gained and how bad things really are until you start losing the weight and its like a whole new world opens up to you, one you had forgotten and left behind. I LOVE feeling this way. I am feeling better and better every week. I am so much more active and I still have a long way to go but I am so going to enjoy the journey. Its been difficult at times....especially when you have a stall and the numbers on the scale don't move but its so important for me to remember that the numbers on the scale may not move but the inches are going down. I still do not see the change when I look at myself. I know that sounds crazy but I don't see what everyone else sees. I feel it and I know my clothes are baggy etc but I still see me as the before. Its very strange. But it is so nice to hear the comments from people, its so encouraging to me. I know its coming off but when will I actually see my body differently? Its just nuts! Anyway I am happy with the results so far and I know I am going to be even happier when more weight is gone. My only regret is I did not do this sooner, but if I had I would not have had Dr. Sonnanstine as my doctor and I think he is the absolute BEST there is. I went for a check up with him last week and his wife, Debbie (she is a nurse practitioner) was helping out in the office and she is as nice or more so it thats possible than him. I just loved her. She is so down to earth and she is just as caring and supportive as he is. She should work there all the time. She is a tremendously nice lady, and very cute....they are perfect for each other it seems....Well I have been working outside trying my best to get a place set up for the pool my neighbor gave me but it has been extremely hard work and my husband is not happy with the idea that I got it and want to put it up. He thinks it is going to be more of a mess and trouble than its worth so he is not very helpful. I do tend to agree now but I have already put so much work and money into it that I need to see it finished. I was off work this week and for the end of June and early July it is rather cool out. My garden seems to be doing well. I have started so much outside because I feel so much better but next year I think will be even better, I got a very late start this year because of the surgery and losing the weight. Next year I will start early on my stuff and be able to do even more so I am looking forward to that. I am so much happier because of getting this weight off and I hope and pray I do not go back to the way I was. Its possible to gain back but I am going to try my best to be a success for life because I hated where I was and don't ever want to go back to that again. I thank God every day for His guidance, love, and support. Without Him I would have nothing. He has truly blessed me and I am thankful.
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Feeling Great
Jun 17, 2009
I know I was so fixated on the scale for a while there....had a brain fart! Anyway I am so happy I had this surgery done. My only regret is that I did not do it sooner. But had I done that I would not have had the most awesome surgeon, Dr. Sonnanstine, perform it. I feel so much better than I did before the surgery. I can do so much more already. I am happier and people have commented on how much happier I seem. I hear everyday from people at work how much I have changed and how much I have lost so far. Even though I still don't physically see it myself it is so encouraging to hear it from everyone. Its been 7 weeks today and I have lost 33lbs WOW!!! I could not have done it on my own. This surgery is truly a blessing. God has so watched over me and helped me through it all. I could not have done it without His blessings. I just can't believe how much more energy I have getting rid of 33 lbs. It is amazing. And it is only going to get better and better. I just walked at work with 3 of my friends there and we walked 3 miles......For me that is downright awesome! And I feel so good about the fact that I am able to do it now. The only thing I have noticed with me that is different from what I have heard from alot of people on OH is I have been able to eat most things without any problems. I have had chicken, fish, ground turkey, turkey, ham, ground beef, garlic, hot sauce, onions, peppers, mac and cheese, eggs, milk, coffee etc...I even tried a bite of a coffee cake with cream cheese icing (very small bite). The only thing that has really changed is I can not eat much bread at all, which is fine. Even though I can eat all these things I am still watching what goes in my mouth and I am doing well....I have not even missed any of the fast food places I use to frequent. I was never a big sweets eater so that is not a problem for me. I want to get this weight, ALL OF IT! off and keep it off....never to return.....Thank you God for the many blessings you bestow on me every single day!!!!!!!!!!
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Scale twitched a little
Jun 08, 2009
Well I weighed myself this morning for this week and had lost a big whopping 3lbs. I don't think I can stand all this weight melting off of me. I am having a very hard time dealing with the scale not moving. I have read so many blogs and comments about how much weight people have lost in a short amount of time and here I am 6 weeks out and lost 29lbs. I know its me and I know it is all because I am impatient. I know I need to get a grip and settle down. I figured out if I continue to lose this amt. of weight each month I would be close to 100lbs lost in 4 months. So if I look at it that way it doesn't sound so slow to me. We'll see. I stuck to my guns and didn't weigh myself until today....1 whole week. And if I look at it the way Dr. S. told me ( I should lose about a 1/2lb a day) then I am a tad ahead of what he expected, not much but a little ahead. Well I will keep the faith and I know it will start coming off and I will get past this. It has been great on this site because the friends I have made on here have been a big help to me cheering me on. Its funny I can cheer others on but am having trouble cheering myself on.DUH! I will keep doing what I am supposed to do and I guess it will come off when it wants to and not before. I understand I need it to come off like this instead of just falling off. And that my body is re-adjusting itself but ....And even though I know all these things I am still whining....oh my gosh I just need to stop it and pull myself by my boot straps and go on about my merry life.....I am trying.......
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. OH MAN!!! I was as sick as a dog....and did not feel good the rest of the day. I didn't get my vitamins, my water, my protein, or my exercise in today.........I almost just gave up and came home....but I didn't. I don't EVER want to go through that again. This is only the second time I have gotten sick but it was the worst one. I am so busy at work anymore it is hard to try to eat and do my vitamins. I guess I am going to have to go to the break room everytime I need to eat something so I don't get distracted. You know when someone comes up to your desk and you have just taken a bite you try to chew quickly and swallow....NOT A GOOD IDEA!!! Well now I know and have learned a valuable lesson. I am going to bed and will try it again tomorrow only this time I won't be eating at my desk......
