A 2 year post-op and 1 week post-reconstruction

Jan 08, 2010

I've had a lot of emotions going through my head lately.  That's probably due to two things - 1) I hit the two year mark and 2) I recently had plastic surgery. 

2 Year Mark - Wow, 2 years!  That went by so quickly that all of the pain, issues, and emotions of a newbie seem like centuries ago.  So how did I do in that 2 years... I lost about 60% of my excess weight, give or take depending on the season.  (I had my official 2 year check up the week after Christmas.  What was I thinking!).  During the weeks leading up to the 2 year mark and even after I often do a mental check of the list I wrote ages ago stating all the things I hated about being obese.  I'm very proud to say that so, so many of those things are no longer an issue.  I'm definitely healthier.  I'm off meds for high cholesterol and blood pressure (in exchange for the bag of vitamins I carry around =).  My vitamin levels have been great, with a few dips here and there when I wasn't getting enough variety in the foods I was consuming.  I move around so much better, do so much more with my family, don't worry all the time about what people think of me, don't hide in the background hoping to not be noticed, don't shy away from mirrors or pictures or giving people hugs, do care more about how I present myself (I feel good and want to show it), don't feel like I'm going to break every chair I sit in, don't have to fight with my clothes to get them on, don't almost pass out when putting my shoes on, don't use the handicap stahls, don't feel depressed and anxious whenever there is a social gathering, don't feel like a target of stares in meetings, don't worry about seat belts or how much my fat rear hangs over the tiny bike seat, don't have to worry about the maximum capacity of so many things...  The list goes on an on.  I no longer feel miserable or like I'm bursting out of my skin.  What a wonderful feeling!  In fact, I was moving photos to CD and found one taken early in 2007 (the year of my surgery).  I sent it to my dear hubby and said "thank you for loving me even when I looked like this". 

Now onto to the Plastics...
On 12/30/09, I had 'the mommy makeover'.  About October, I was getting to the point where I couldn't stand the excess baggage anymore.  Granted, I had not hit goal and wasn't even sure if it made sense to have surgery at that point.  So, I did a few consultations and did a lot of online browsing.  The goal for me was to be able to exercise, play with the kids, and yes, have sex without that load of skin (the wall of guilt as I called it) slapping around and making horrible noises and bashing my confidence.  When I did the consultations, I told the surgeons my intent was to remove the excess/overhang.  BUT... I had also promised myself long ago that if I lost the weight, I would also get my breasts put back where they should be.  In talking to the surgeons about a lift, I was informed that I would go down approximately one bra cup size.  Now for my weight/height/structure, that was not acceptable to me.  I was very comfortable being a C, even if I had to wear an expensive push up to get the girls in the right spot.  After much debate with my husband (who was ready to support whatever I wanted), I decided it was time to splurge (big time) on myself.  I went with a full tummy tuck (skin removal and muscle tightening), a breast lift and augmentation.  Now, I was not looking to increase in size - just refill to what I had been.  Of course, the surgeons don't work that way.  They talk in CCs, not Cup sizes.  I explained over and over to the doctor what I wanted, and we settled on a size. 

I had my surgery done by Doctor K from Bay City, and I had it done at Covenant.  Because I was having 3 procedures at once, an overnight stay was required.  (Thank goodness!)  I was in surgery for 6 hours.  The majority was spent working on my breasts.  I got silicone put under the muscles.  Unfortunately after pregnancies/breast feeding/obesity/etc., the muscle in my breasts did not 'melt' evenly.  It took a great deal of work on the doc's part to get my breasts looking even.  Even so, I may have to go in and have a slight 'scar revision' on my right breast... just depends on how things settle.  (I'll give it a couple months.)  I was cut hip to hip - under the c-section scars and over my belly button lap scars.  Only 6 pounds of skin was removed.  (To be honest, that disappointed me a bit.  But keep in mind, I was only looking to get the overhang removed and not become a super model.)  The pain in my tummy area was minimal.  The pain in my chest was more - like I was in a full contact sport and got my butt kicked!  I was not allowed to get up until the following morning and boy did it hurt when it did.  Then my tummy started tightening up like I couldn't believe... almost took my breathe away.  That was the only point I said "why did I do this to myself?".  Soon enough, I was on my way home and miserable until hours later when I finally found a comfortable position.  Moving around got easier by the day.  At 6 days, I went to the doc to have my tummy dressings removed and drains looked at.  Both drains stayed in.  (BTW, I was a bit surprised at where the drains actually leave my body.)  So I left the doc's office all girdled up again... another side note, in the hospital my breasts were like mountains and the compression bra was very tight... now, it won't stay together because it is so loose.  Swelling has gone down!!!  So....   After the doc appointment I thought I would go with Paul and get a few groceries.  Bad idea.  I got very sick to my stomach and just wanted to be home.  It took a while to recover.  I also tried skipping the pain med and muscle relaxer, not such a great idea so early post-op.  But now, I am taking them further apart!  Now the drains, that scared me at first.  They need to be 'milked' as the gunk builds up in the hose and can prevent draining and will produce leakage around the entrance.  Didn't take long to get that down pat... and I seemed to milk them a million times a day for the heck of it.  I mean, if I'm going to the bathroom, why not!  After the dressings were removed, and I could touch the entraces... I was like a curious george!... which isn't a bad thing since tonight I milked out a gross clot that was preventing one from working... and by milk I mean I had to get right in there... if they weren't stitched in, I'm sure I would have pulled it out.  Kind of cool and gross all in one.  Anyhow, that's the jist of it all... And for those who don't know, the drains are necessary to drain off the fluid that would otherwise collect between the muscle and skin (since they lift the skin off the muscle and pull it down to the pelvic area).  So drainage promotes better healing.  I go next Tuesday and get the drains out - no matter the output at the time.  The doc will not leave them in longer for risk of infection.  As for the no showering, girdle, compression bra... I'll have to see what the rules are... honestly, I probably was on too many drugs to catch all the rules =}

It's after midnight.  I should be sleeping... I've almost written a book and most of it probably doesn't make any sense (lol).
Goodnight.
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Almost my 2 year surgiversary!

Dec 14, 2009

Wow, how fast time flies when you are actually having fun

This week, I will hit my 2 year mark.  In that time, I have managed to go from a high of 336 to 207 (give or take a few pounds).  My looks have changed dramatically as has my outlook on life.  It is so wonderful to be alive and actually "living".  One change I still struggle with is replacing the 'junk food' with more nutritional food.  I go in spurts where I do really well and then the old shopping habits pop up.  I believe it would be a lot easier if I didn't have other people in the house - wanting all those quick, not-so-healthy foods.  If only I could get them to eat more veggies!

Anyhow... I'm doing great.  In fact, I'm getting ready for phase 2 of this journey - reconstruction!  Dr. Komorowski will be doing my tummy tuck, lift and augmentation (the mommy makeover) on 12/30.  I'm very, very excited, but I'm just as nervous.  Wish me luck!

Love and miss you all.  If I don't get back on here for another couple of months... Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 
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Is it time?

Oct 07, 2009

I've been wondering if now is the time to research plastic surgeons.  For a while now, I've been really unhappy with my appearance, the way my clothes fit - specifically related to my tummy area.  I'm no longer happy 'as is'. 

So how do I go about finding the right surgeon to start the consultation and benefits planning?

(sigh)
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Is there a connection?

Jul 23, 2009

When I'm on vacation, my eating plans just fall apart.  I end up endlessly snacking and eating stuff I wouldn't normally eat (or eat so much of).  During last weekend, I ate cinnamon rolls and hummingbird cake (seemingly non-stop).  When I got back to work on Tuesday, I had a really hard time getting back to normal eating and ended up buying a candy bar (dark chocolate, but still).  I was seriously having junk food withdrawal! 

Over the last couple of days, I've had really strong urine and a pain in my left flank (kidney area).  I'm now wondering if there is a connection between all the sugar and junk I consumed and this 'issue'.  I went to the doctor this morning to make sure it wasn't developing into an infection, and it's not.  I didn't even try to make a connection, so no, I didn't discuss this with the doctor.

My prescription... lots of water and get back to protein!!!
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Why did the scale finally move?

Jun 29, 2009

To be honest with you, I'm not accepting that it has actually moved - despite what is now documented in the chart.  If I can maintain it, I'll accept it.

The scale may have moved because I shook things up a bit.  I think calories and balance has a lot to do with it.  It's very scientific... figuring out what your body needs, which seems to change as much as the weather.  I'm not very scientific, so I'm struggling.

I looked back at my tracker, and I was at 210 at my one year appointment.  I was 203 at my last.  If there's nothing wrong with their scale, I lost 7 pounds over the last 6 months.  I wish it were more, but I'll take it...  another step closer to the 'one-derfuls'!
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18 Month Check Up

Jun 26, 2009

Yesterday, I had my 18 month post-op visit.  The results...

Weight:  202.8
BMI:  30
Vitamins:  All great except, B1 was slightly elevated (no concern) and B12 was on the low side.  I will be increasing my B12 intake to 2000 mcg.

Concerns that I discussed - vitamins, plastics, heart palpitations and protein intake. 

As far as my vitamins go, the NP asked that I increase my B12 from the 500 mcgs that I take to 2000 mcgs a day.  The deficiency could be the reason I have been so tired lately.  My PCP noted an elevated B1 level (156), but the NP wasn't concerned as B1 is water soluble and won't cause any issue when only slightly elevated.

Plastic surgery has been on my mind a lot lately.  While I don't think I'm quite ready, I did want a second opinion.  Since the scale has (finally) moved again, it gives me hope that I may reach my initial goal of 180.  Depending on how the scale moves over the next couple of months, I may (or may not) get a consult in late fall.  My reason behind delving into all of this is the huge chunk of blubber (or skin) that is hanging out front, making everything I wear look bad and making me feel miserable (especially when I sit down).

A couple of weeks ago, I started having very noticeable heart palpitations.  At the onset of the palpitations, I had also experienced a few episodes of dizziness.  Needless to say, I was concerned.  The last time I had noticeable palpitations was when I had HBP and needed to be on BP medication.  In talking with the NP, we determined that the palpitations were likely the result of dehydration.  Linking one 'event' to another helped us get to this conclusion.  That was the period in which I was trying to cut back on calories - specifically by eliminating or at least reducing my protein supplements.  When cutting back on the supplements, I was increasing my intake of dense protein foods.  That caused me to be so full that I didn't want to take in anything else - including my water.  The challenge now is finding the right balance between protein foods, supplements and water intake... and not falling back onto 'easy' foods that won't make me feel so full!

As a sidenote, HBC is currently without a dietician.  D went back to the hospital, and B is at home with her child.  The new one, K, is going to be starting in July.

While I will continue to get labs done at 6 month intervals, check ups at HBC will not be on an annual basis.
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Reality bites!

Apr 13, 2009

And my reality is that I haven't been trying to lose any more weight (just wishing for it to happen).

This hit me hard yesterday (on Easter).  We were traveling from my in-laws to my parents, and I was complaining.  Basically, I'd like it if no one every said anything about my weight again.  My in-laws are very kind and always tell me how good I'm looking, etc.  That's all wonderful, except it makes me feel like a failure.  I feel like I should be continuing to lose (as I'm only 16 months post-op), so... I graciously accept their comments and then quickly add that I haven't lost anything for months and months (just so they know I still look the same as last time they saw me). 

As I said, I was complaining... I told my DH that I wished they would stop commenting and told him my feelings.  The peanut gallery (my oldest DD) chimed in with "But you haven't been trying!".  How absolutely right she is!  I've been fooling myself thinking that what I've been doing could even be considered 'trying'.  Once the Florida trip was over and I lost a few more pounds, I think I just gave up.  Sure, I exercise (but not faithfully), take my vitamins (most every day), and get in my protein (usually only during the week).  But... I've also been eating lots of carbs and junk food, and I know my portions have grown. 

Today, I'm trying to get my portions back in check and kick the carb habit.  I told DH to hide all of the junk food before I got home (because I obviously don't have enough control to fight it off as I ate a rice krispie treat for breakfast). 

I have been repeating to myself that I can do it (get below 200) if I just put my mind to it and get back to basics! 

Maybe I should try a liquid protein (pre-op) diet...  (yeah right!)



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Where am I?

Apr 08, 2009

I've been missing from the OH scene for a while, just checking in occasionally.  Today, I might as well give an update - even if there is little to report.

I'm still a food addict.  I think about food a lot - maybe not as much as before surgery, but still more than what I would consider normal.  I feel like I'm constantly talking myself down from eating.

I still have issues with portion sizes.  At GWL in Niagara, we went to a delish buffet.  Normally, I do OK, but this had scrumptious food!  I over did the portion sized - not to mention the sugar.  I was in horrible pain.  While the rest of my family went about having fun, I tried walking off the pain to no avail.  I had to go back to my room and 'get rid of' the over consumption.  I was able to rejoin my family, but I wasn't feeling that great.

I still am addicted to sweets.  I think eliminating chocolates and such would only cause it to be more appealing, but certainly I need to learn better control.  While in Niagara Falls, we visited a candy shop.  I got a little bag of chocolates and consumed them over the next day.  I paid for it and felt terribly sick while we were out for a drive. 

I'm stuck!  At this point, I don't believe the scale will ever move.  I know it's my fault - not eating like I should.  I'm maintaining, which is OK, but I would still like to lose another 30 pounds.

So where does this all leave me... stuck in the middle.  I want to lose more, but I still want to eat more 'freely' than I need to.  It's time to make a decision about how important losing is to me - or if maintaining at 210 will be OK.  Really, I need to get signed up with a new therapist and work through this.  (My last one has retired.) 

I've got to go do a Wii Fit body test.  I'm afraid to get weighed after vacation, but we all need to get back to reality soon or later.  Wish me luck!
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Could it be?

Feb 20, 2009

Could it be that my scale is finally on the move?  According to the Wii Fit and my scale, I've lost about 2 pounds.  I won't officially count it until I see the same number more than one day in a row.  I've been bouncing around too much to get too excited at this point.  However, it seems that my bouncing around numbers are getting lower and closer together.

I've been watching my vitamins more carefully - changed the schedule/combination a bit.  I've also been eating protein (eggs and cheese) for breakfast.  I'm so happy I can finally eat eggs again!!!  They are scrambled and delicious.  On top of that, I've been really trying to eat consciously - asking myself if I'm hungry, bored, etc.  I haven't cut anything out, but maybe limited the amount/frequency.   For exercise, I've been pushing the speed up on the treadmill and have been using the Wii/Wii Fit (although not as much when we first got it.) 

Keeping my fingers crossed...
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All these emotions

Feb 04, 2009

The emotional rollercoaster has left me exhausted.  I've been dealing with the potential of losing my job due to restructuring... and then a flood of work.  I've been dealing with my oldest DD... the triangle of friends issue, the anxiety issues, the crying, the homework, the inability to plan and be organized.  I've been dealing with my youngest DD... the mood swings and disrespect.  I've been dealing with the DH... lack of confidence, constant negativity, inability to discipline the kids, etc.  I've been dealing with my lack of social interactions... friends too busy, friends I'm not sure are friends anymore, etc.

How's that for unloading???  To help with it all, we've scheduled appointments for outside help (a therapist for one and a psychologist for the other).  I've been missing my friends, who usually get all of my venting, so I've been talking a lot to a coworker.  At this point, I can't say for sure if it is helping or hurting me.  I won't go into details.

In regards to WLS progress...  The scale is still bouncing between a few pounds.  Since it hasn't gone past the 208 mark, I consider it stuck (or I'm stuck as it might be).  This is a bit disheartening since I've been working out much more these days.  I know I have to be patient - muscle weighs more, etc.  But I'm not much for patience.  As for food, I've been doing a lot of self analysis, and I've found that I tend to eat most when I'm angry.  When I'm sad, I tend to forget about food.  Chocolate was my crutch, but I have almost all but banished it.  The M&Ms have been untouched, no candy bars purchased... but I did break down and make CC Cookies over the weekend.  They are still in my house - slowly disappearing.  I've been eating them, too... Kind of justifying it to myself because of all the exercise.  That's not what I should be doing!  I struggle with what a "normal" person would do... A normal person could indulge in a cookie.  Why not me?  Is there a problem in the amount or frequency of indulging?  Sure, I don't eat 10 cookies in a day, but is one or two a day terrible???  On the flip side, I've been trying to find healthy recipes and fill the house with lots of fresh fruits and veggies.  I've bought some veggies that I wouldn't normally buy, and I've searched out recipes to use up all my new veggie purchases.  Sweetly, the husband and kids have been willing participants in sampling the new concoctions.

These days, I'm also missing the excitement of changing clothes sizes.  I've been stuck in limbo land with pants.. still need to lose some more weight to be firmly in misses sizes. 

Lately, I've been messing up with my supplements... forgetting mostly.  I'm going to shif around the schedule to see if that helps.  I found I was doing poorly with my multi-vit (maybe because I secretly hate the aftertaste).   It's not terrible, but if I go to bed after taking it, I wake up with vomit breath... which would lead me to justify eating something just so that didn't happen.  So... I'll try taking the multi vits during the day along with biotin and b-12, and my calciums later in the day.  This hasn't worked out so great in the past, but I'm willing to give it another try.


 

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About Me
MI
Location
31.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
12/18/2007
Surgery Date
Nov 15, 2007
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