gonnadoit
All these emotions
Feb 04, 2009
The emotional rollercoaster has left me exhausted. I've been dealing with the potential of losing my job due to restructuring... and then a flood of work. I've been dealing with my oldest DD... the triangle of friends issue, the anxiety issues, the crying, the homework, the inability to plan and be organized. I've been dealing with my youngest DD... the mood swings and disrespect. I've been dealing with the DH... lack of confidence, constant negativity, inability to discipline the kids, etc. I've been dealing with my lack of social interactions... friends too busy, friends I'm not sure are friends anymore, etc.
How's that for unloading??? To help with it all, we've scheduled appointments for outside help (a therapist for one and a psychologist for the other). I've been missing my friends, who usually get all of my venting, so I've been talking a lot to a coworker. At this point, I can't say for sure if it is helping or hurting me. I won't go into details.
In regards to WLS progress... The scale is still bouncing between a few pounds. Since it hasn't gone past the 208 mark, I consider it stuck (or I'm stuck as it might be). This is a bit disheartening since I've been working out much more these days. I know I have to be patient - muscle weighs more, etc. But I'm not much for patience. As for food, I've been doing a lot of self analysis, and I've found that I tend to eat most when I'm angry. When I'm sad, I tend to forget about food. Chocolate was my crutch, but I have almost all but banished it. The M&Ms have been untouched, no candy bars purchased... but I did break down and make CC Cookies over the weekend. They are still in my house - slowly disappearing. I've been eating them, too... Kind of justifying it to myself because of all the exercise. That's not what I should be doing! I struggle with what a "normal" person would do... A normal person could indulge in a cookie. Why not me? Is there a problem in the amount or frequency of indulging? Sure, I don't eat 10 cookies in a day, but is one or two a day terrible??? On the flip side, I've been trying to find healthy recipes and fill the house with lots of fresh fruits and veggies. I've bought some veggies that I wouldn't normally buy, and I've searched out recipes to use up all my new veggie purchases. Sweetly, the husband and kids have been willing participants in sampling the new concoctions.
These days, I'm also missing the excitement of changing clothes sizes. I've been stuck in limbo land with pants.. still need to lose some more weight to be firmly in misses sizes.
Lately, I've been messing up with my supplements... forgetting mostly. I'm going to shif around the schedule to see if that helps. I found I was doing poorly with my multi-vit (maybe because I secretly hate the aftertaste). It's not terrible, but if I go to bed after taking it, I wake up with vomit breath... which would lead me to justify eating something just so that didn't happen. So... I'll try taking the multi vits during the day along with biotin and b-12, and my calciums later in the day. This hasn't worked out so great in the past, but I'm willing to give it another try.
