Update time

Apr 07, 2011

We are back in Michigan, having left Baton Rouge on last Thurs. and Gulfport one week ago. We had plans to visit an old friend of ours then to have a real treat for me, to meet Jean M.! Unfortunately we were both having a lot of pain and those stops would have added an extra day to the trip. I was very disappointed to say the least. Anyway, we stayed Fr. night and Sat. with my sister at College Grove Tenn. and my 82 year old parents also arrived on their way home from Myrtle Beach. Lon and I got home Sunday evening to the joy of 7 of 9 grandchildren and our 2 daughters (and grand dogs) at our house. I needed all those hugs! Our two 10 year old grandsons unpacked the car with the help of the 5 and 6 year old boys. The 2 year old pretended shy, the dogs raised a ruckus playing and running with ours, and our 12 and 15 year old grand daughters hung up and put away all the clothing. Some how I came home with much more than I left with. Hmmm..... shopping at my favorite consignment shop was fun but we had to leave out my bag of books just to make room. Son is under instruction to bring them next time he comes here.

I am set to have xrays of my hip, I start PT on Tues. and I will have a consult with my pain specialist today and get my facet injections Wed. unless he suggests going another direction. The ride actually helped me some because I wasn't up walking but it has killed me since we have been home because in spite of the wretched weather I want to be out wandering my yard and garden, want to pick up all the fallen sticks and even move a few plants. Raking seems impossible and Lon won't be able to do it, either. His long ago back injury has been very painful, too. We are quite the pair.

The final tally on weight gain for the winter was 9 pounds up from goal and 13 up from my lowest. I am down 4 pounds already but the lack of exercise has caused all the toning at my midsection to revert to loose and floppy. Ewwww! I should be able to begin improving that during PT. I hate the thought of going through pt again because I spent all fall doing it for my upper back and it is not only time consuming but makes me feel worse up until the last 2-3 weeks. Right during my most important yard and garden time of the year. Booo! Well, it is time to adjust my attitude and get on with doing what I need to do for quality of life.

Doing what I need to for quality of life. That is something I have been thinking of and working on for over a year now. It began when I began thinking of wls. I sure had no quality then. I didn't know what all this would entail but I soon discovered that it would touch every facet of my life. One of the first things I had to deal with, and will continue to do battle with forever, is the frustration that I would no longer be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Of course, at first I believed I would never be able to eat certain things, again.  That was a falsehood. I truly had to be strict that way for a long time. Otherwise I would not have had the impetus to continue losing my weight. I did, however, allow a very few treats along the way. Never, ever, at home. After binging between Thanksgiving and Christmas I began to scare myself because it was so like old times. I wasn't as bad as I would have been, due to the things I have learned, but it was scary wondering if I would ever make it all the way back. Over the winter I had some relatively bad times. Not all bad, though.
 
Being a perfectionist and the harshest critic I have I expect nothing less than perfection of myself. Didn't I learn about that several months ago? You bet. And I needed to revisit that. I discovered that one cupcake doesn't have to become two and that a dozen doesn't have to become a months worth. I discovered again, that while I strive to make wise choices and stay away from my trigger foods, it doesn't always happen. That does not make me a failure. Gaining a few pounds doesn't make me a failure. Losing my exercise momentum doesn't make me a failure. Only giving up would make me a failure. My band does exactly what I wanted it to. It gives me a fighting chance to succeed. I do the rest. I like it that way. I have to choose to do what it takes to improve quality of life and if it causes me discomfort, unease, or even pain, I can either cave in or benefit from the hard work.

I will continue to stress to each newbie that whichever tool they choose it is still up to them. So, onward and upward for me.

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