grannymedic1
Maintenance, Round Two
Dec 04, 2012
I began maintenance 5 months after getting my lap band and managed for 2 years with fairly good results. Yes, I would go off on binges and gain some weight then get back on track and lose it again. I will say that I never made it to my goal weight again, but overall I kept all but 8 pounds off most of the time.
Here I am again, post sleeve 4 months out and with a 25 pound weight loss and entering maintenance again. I have ben thinking about what this means recently. No, it is not the strict losing diet it was with my first loss. Nor do I want a very loose unstructured thing like I used to maintain with my band. This time I truly want to maintain a healthful diet free of white carbs or other junk. What? Can I never have any goodies Do I have to be perfect? Nope, not what I meant. I want this time to be weighed, measured, and logged. I don't want to have "treats" on a regular basis. Some people can handle it but I can't. It is just too easy to revert to old patterns of grazing, eating sweets, skipping meals, etc. I want this time to be something to maintain life long. I want to make new habits so secure that they are not easily put aside. Nor do I want to get on that slippery slope again. I did it far too often with my band and have been doing it now.
I might as well put it out there right now. I have been grazing the majority of the time, and eating far too much junk. I have not been getting in all of my protein nor getting enough water. By far. I have rationalized it as that I can have those things right now without fear of gaining weight. Bull pucky! Since when did fear of gaining weight ever stop me? Never that's when, except for sometimes before my revision. My rationalizations are legendary. Take the peanut butter cookie one I figured out years before wls. Peanut butter comes from peanuts, which are a legume. Legumes are very good for you. There are eggs in the cookies, which are also good for you. There is sugar and isn't that bad? Nope. Sugar is made, primarily, from sugar beets. Beets are a vegetable and therefore good for you. Then there is the flour, white of course, it is made from a grain and grains are good for you, too. Of course there is butter, but that comes from milk which is very good for you. THEREFORE peanut butter cookies are practically health food! The ice cream one was just about as good. It included the little known fact that when you freeze all those good for you things you also concentrate the calcium so that makes it important to have often.
Seriously, we had lots of fun with those rationalizations for something we were going to eat one way or the other anyway. Now it is time to put away the nonsense and quit rationalizing. I need to find my way in this maintenance maze to some thing I can live with forever. I don't expect to become perfect, nor will I beat myself up when I eat foods outside of my normal eating plan. That is the point right there... Part. Of. My. Normal. Eating. The occasion of eating something else must be planned in advance, less than once a month, and not continued with leftovers. There should not be room for spur of the moment things, or "just because it is there". There should be no room for "just a bite" or I would feel left out.
This is serious stuff this weight loss surgery thing. I got 80% of my stomach removed, gone forever. This is my last chance. I make good now or risk failing grandly. That would mean returning to the shame that was a constant part of my life. Shame about how I looked but also shame about the way I ate. My patterns were far from normal as to be nearly insane. An addict is an addict is an addict. Do I want that back in even a minimized way? No I can't handle that. If so, then the only thing to do is to put new habits to use. I need to journal, daily. I need to be very very mindful of my eating. I need to detox. I need to get my head in the right place. I think that is going to be my major issue. I made a great start at it when I got my band and was new with it. I just never quite finished. The program has to start again, now.
I am not sure where this will lead me but I sure am going to find out. Starting today.
