Maintenance...

Sep 02, 2009

 Well, here I sit today - under my surgeon's goal (131 lbs was his goal). My personal goal was 120-125. Today I am at 120 lbs. It's certainly time to kick this maintenance phase into a higher gear. This is the scariest phase so far and it really intimidates me. I am still not "hungry" most of the time and don't enjoy eating, but I know that I have to do this to stay healthy. I can lose down to 115 and still be at a healthy BMI, but I'm starting to look a little skeletal and don't want to lose any more weight (did I just say that?). My mind still has not caught up with this weight loss and I still see myself as overweight (it's totally the skin making me see it this way). However, when I see photos of myself, I see a somewhat emaciated face looking back at me and I know that is neither attractive nor healthy.

I do not want to end up on the "other side" of unhealthy weight and I certainly don't want any of the physical issues that would go along with that. I have to accept that yes, I could gain some weight back, but is that a bad thing? No. I really don't think so. I mean, I could be 130 and still be healthy and attractive. Somehow, I've got to quit worrying about any regain. I'm only 8 months out and still malabsorbing, so kicking up the calories some can't be too bad. (Lord, I hope not!).

I am very fearful of regain, but this too, I hope, will pass. Now it's off to eat something!

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About Me
cumming, GA
Location
20.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
12/22/2008
Surgery Date
Sep 26, 2008
Member Since

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