Mary Jo P.

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well boys and girls, it has been way too long!  i have hardly been on OH..well, not really been on at all.  but i got a happy anniversary email from OH, so here i am to update my profile!

yesterday, june 1st, was my 3 year anniversary from my surgery.  i am holding at about 120, usually fluctuating between 118-120.  i am happy here.  my low weight was 107 and i can admit now that i was probably very unhealthy and barely eating and scared to death to gain weight!  that was a little over a year and 1/2 ago.  i feel good where i'm at.  clothes, i wear 3's, even some 5's.  i remember having some 0's that were a little loose!  i admit, when i try on a size 1 or 2 that i can't fit anymore, it somehow feels a little discouraging.  but i have donated those clothes because i REALLY don't want to be there again!  

exercise...what's that?  i am extremely lazy, my downfall for sure.  even with losing weight, i still have my back problems.  i am supposed to be scheduling surgery soon.  i will be having a fusion done on my lower back.  scary thought, but i got to try!  who knows, maybe i'll even exercise someday...or not. :)

my eating habits aren't the best.  i should have taught myself to eat better, but unfortunately i think i did go thru a stage after surgery where i developed an eating DO.  i still probably only eat once a day and i can still only eat small portions.  i have my starbucks everyday ( sometimes twice), but i don't know how to get to eating 3 well-balanced meals.  NO, this is not the way to be after WLS and i encourage everyone going into this surgery to see a nutritionist right from the start!  it is not too late for me, but i just have to make myself do it!

my labs have not been good, although i have not had them re-drawn in about 9 months.  i have the requisition, i just have to go get it done.  maybe this week, i need to see where i am at with my iron and vitamin D.  those have been my trouble areas.

overall, i am happy i had WLS.  people tell me all the time that i am the "poster child" for WLS.  I AM NOT.  yes, i feel i was successful in losing the weight.  but there are so many things you need to do in addition to that...and do them RIGHT.  i had this surgery because i wanted to be healthy, not "skinny".  i'm only 1/2 way there....

i am starting to freak out, seriously.  i got on the scale this morning and i am up to 112.  bad weight?  no, i know it is ok, but i have gained 5-6 lbs in about a month!  what if i don't stop gaining?  i told my mom yesterday that i was 11 and she told me good, you need to get back to 120.  i know this recent gain is all the dang halloween candy i keep munching on, i think it needs to go in the trash!  i don't necessarily think i need to lose, i just have to somehow put the brakes on.  I DO NOT WANT TO GAIN!!!

on another note, my son broke his arm with 13 seconds left in the football game on saturday.  the poor kid, he intercepted the ball when the other team was going for the extra point and stopped them from winning.  next thing you know we are on our way to the hospital.  it was a horrible break, his wrist was totally deformed.  he broke both the radius and ulna.  luckily he did not need surgery.  and to totally ruin the day for my poor baby, his team lost in OT.  check out my pics and look at his wrist.  the pic is small but i dont know how to make it any bigger.  you can see it though.

thats it for now.  i hope to get to 110 and maintain there.  pleaseeeee let it happen!

i haven't been around the boards much and i miss it.  i have just found myself busy and stressed.  on a very happy and exciting note, my son's football team won their championship game and my son had a touchdown!  we are on our way to syracuse on saturday for our first round in regionals!  these boys have come so far and i am so very proud!  can't wait for saturday!

as for my weight, i have been only getting on the scale a couple times a week.  i seem to have settled in at 109-110.  i guess this is ok, as long as my clothes fit!  i can't see myself gaining back up to 120-125 like the doc said.  hopefully next time i see my pcp he will be happy that i gained a couple lbs.  i still need to reschedule for my surgeon.  i am still 5 lbs less than the last time i saw them, but i am truly eating anything i want.  i had an egg salad sandwich for lunch today, a ham sandwich with some sun chips for dinner and a couple cookies throughout the day.  i am eating a lot more carbs which is probably helping me to maintain.  people still tell me i am too skinny, but at least i have stopped losing.  thats about it for now, it is almost 4:30am and i have to go to work in 3 1/2 hours!

ok this is killing me! im back up to 109 this morning! how sad is it, that i am scared to death to see it go back up to 110? aunt flo did come for a visit today though, and i usually drop a lb. how do i decide on where i want to be? i hate the thought of seeing any higher on the scale and KNOW i shouldn't see any lower. so maybe i should just say 110 is good, i don't know! someone fix my head please!!!

i went to appt with pcp. he was not happy that i lost more. he said there's a lot more to it than just being "too skinny". he said i have to think about my immune system weakening (i've been fighting a cold for over a week!), my bones, not getting enough nutrients. he also said that if i were to drop below 100 lbs (yeah right!) that it is harder to regain/ never heard that before. i also didn't get my labs done. he said he wants me to call and reschedule with my surgeon, so thats what i'll have to do i guess. BUT, i did go back up to 107! from the looks of the scale this evening, i'd bet i'll be 108 even in the morning! LOL i know it is best for me to put on a few lbs, but it just kills me to see the scale go UP! i ate a lot of carbs today-bologna sandwich, cheeze-its, a banana. i even ate 2 cookies. bunch of junk! but at least i ate, gotta look at the bright side. well, i have to go get some sleep. my son's football game tomorrow, love to watch him play!

Well, I did not go to my appt with the surgeon. I guess I just didn't want to hear what they would say. Although I probably need to hear it. I am aware that I have unhealthy eating habits, sometimes not eating any meals and just a couple snacks. I say I am "just not hungry", which I really am not. But that does not excuse the not eating and I am afraid there may be something more to it. I really am trying harder to eat at least one meal a day. baby steps....

I have weighed in the past 2 days at 106 lbs. I go see my pcp on Wednesday and he was also concerned about my weight when I was there 5 weeks ago. He then told me he would like to see me gain 5-10 lbs, but I have lost 4 since I was there. I WILL keep this appt, as I also want him to recheck my labs since I skipped out on my appt with surgeon.

I started my new job today! I am a one-on-one aide for a little boy in kindergarten. He has autism. My first day went pretty well I think, although he did choke me one time! But he is just an adorable little boy and I look forward to making progress with him!

Thats it for now, maybe I will update again after my appt with pcp.

wow, 15 months already! i can't believe how fast the time has gone by. someone posted today about having lost more than they weigh. made me realize that i have, too! and i remember thinking that i would never lose more than i weigh. i weigh 109 lbs and i have lost 112 since surgery. simply amazing...
i am still struggling with eating. seems like i never eat a real meal. yesterday i had some pork rinds, cheez-its, a slice of cheese and a slice of deli turkey. and i felt like i "pigged out". what is wrong with my head? i am supposed to go back to surgeon on the 26th for a weight re-check. plus i was supposed to go to the nutritionist and i haven't gone. i guess i better call and try to get in before my appt. i have lost 5 lbs since i was there in june, so i know i am going to hear about it. sigh......

I went to my pcp this week for a physical. He told me he would like to see me gain 5-10 lbs! i told him, maybe 5. LOL seems like wherever i am at, i don't want to gain or lose. and guess what? i am 5'3''! i even made him do it twice. i was 5'2'' and 1/4, so apparently i've gained some height. i am holding at 110 still. you also hear about regain, so at least i have that little window in case that happens. my doc gave me celexa to try, so i'm going to give that a go today and hope it helps. i'm always saying that i want to be healthy, and i do. but today, i just want to be happy...

well, i can say that i have lost 1/2 of me! today i weighed in at 110.6. i can't believe the scale sometimes! blows my mind that i could ever weigh 110-115lbs. i WILL call nutritionist tomorrow and make an appt. i know i have to stop the weight loss and maybe even seek some counseling. i don't want to lose anymore weight, but seems like there is always a # i would like to see "once". when i reached my goal of 120, i thought i wouldnt mind seeing 1-teen something. once i went below 115, i thought i wouldnt mind seeing 110. and now my stupid head thinks "i wouldn't mind seeing 100-something. when does it stop? i have to MAKE it stop, my health is most important!!!

been having some tough times here on the homefront. still no job and quite honestly, i dread the thought of going back to work! but i don't have much of a choice. i am falling way behind on everything, never have money for anything...so don't usually have food that i can eat in the house. i haven't been doing well with eating. definitely not eating enough these days. weighed in this morning at 111.8. i don't think i will stay there, at least i hope not. although in the back of my mind, i would love to see 110 just once so i could say i lost "half of me" since surgery. i have lost 1/2 from my highest weight of 235, but.... seriously though, i really have to call and make my nutritionist appt. i have to find out what the best way will be to maintain. and until i find a job it will be hard because not having the $$$ to do REAL grocery shopping, i usually get the cheap foods (carb heaven). and i try hard to stay away from too many carbs. i still think i am ok. i would have to weigh 101lbs to fall into the underweight category on the charts. but i can fit into size 2 and even fit a couple size 0's....i never wanted to go lower than size 6! LOL who knew? i just want to be HEALTHY...