Nicole B.

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It is time to start the divorce and move on with my life.  This is taking a toll on my inner self right now because he is playing cat & mouse.  I need to distance myself from him. 

I am also down under 200 pounds and find myself feel great.  I found that old friends and family can be like the devil.  I need to stay focus and keep my eye on the prize.  140 pounds.

I only have 11 poounds to century club and 9 pounds to ONE-derland as we say on thinnertimes.com

 

Well,  I am starting to forgive myself for Scobby Doo but I do miss him. 
I am feeling good and looking great but I have a lot of people around me that still don't understand that I did this for me.  I get some crazy comments too.  It is nerve racking at times because it comes from people who I though were my friend.  

I guess it is time to move on.  I am having a hard time with getting food down my throat but I heard it will pass.  I find that I want to snack alot but I need to fight the temptations.  I have came to far to turn back now.  Weight is coming off slow because I lost so much prior to surgey.  I am about 70 pounds from goal weight but I want to be there before summer.  I think it is attainable.  
I need to get my water intake up and start taking my calicum pills again.  Those chewables are NASTY...

The most exciting part about the weight loss is being able to wear high heel shoes all day and my feet do not hurt.  I am a kid in a candy store when I look at shoes now.  Oh yeah, I couldn't believe that my shoe size is getting smaller too. I wear about a 8.5 to 9.5 now.   I just need to start looking at clothes.

I let my Scooby Doo get hit by a car 2 days ago.  I feel so stupid because his death was totally unavoidable.  I have a void in my life now.  I miss him in my bed and covers all the time now.  I wish I could turn back the clock on this one. 
Anyway,  I am getting bored with my life .  I want to be in a new surrounding and new people.  My family and friends are not interesting to me anymore.  I want to be around people who are making changes in their life for the better.  It is hard out here for me right now

On top of all this, my husband now tells me he wants to separate but stay married. )(#&%(#*  I could slap the S--- out of him..  What is his real game plan?

I have lost 10 pounds in two weeks and I thought it would be more.  I am going to stop focusing on the weight loss and worry about my life. 

Surgey went well.  They were an hour behind schedule so I did not have surgey until 2:30 pm.  The doctor said everything looked great inside and I lost a total of 51 pounds.  I went into surgey weighing 236 pounds.  The doctor said I should get down to 145 - 150.  Not bad but I would not mind 130.  We will see.  
The pain has not been to bad.  I have been able to eat SF jello, broth, and dulite apple juice ok.  I can't torelate water ..  I have been sucking on ice chips.   Well I am sleeping much of the time and doing my walks too.  I will keep OH family updated tomorrow.

See u all later

Well the big day is almost here.  I am stressed at work becasue I have deadlines.  I will be glad when 5 pm get here. I am going to do something relaxing after work.  EXERCISE really relies the stress.

I am looking forward to the surgey.  it seems so close.

Woke up this morning and realized that my marriage is truly over.  I love a men that does not love me and I need to stop trying to buy love.  My focus should be on the surgey but I am focused on work and my failing marriage.  We will soon file for divorce and move on with each of our lives.  I know it is for the best but I do not want it.  You can not hold on to nothing.  It is too stressful and unhealth for me right now. 

I lost another 3 pounds so I am now 240 pounds.  That is 10 pounds below my doctor's goal weight. I would like to be around 230 before Nov 13.  I can do it if I put my mind to it.  It amazing me that I am able to lose 47 pounds for the surgey but can not make it stick without the surgey.    

I am just feel blue but still excited on the inside.  I just want my excitment to shine outward.  I plan to spend this weekend on getting my mind together and being happy....