Yeah, I can't believe I haven't updated in forever! I guess that happens when you have surgery and find all this energy. Yeah. Something like that.
I'd like to try to update every month or more. So, let's see, what's been going on? I turned 30 on September 6th. Yeah, it was a great birthday. I was expecting them to do something and by the end of the day, it was clear that my family was not going to do anything. I was devastated! I mean, if I mentioned it, would they feel guilty and do something as an afterthought? I didn't want sloppy seconds! You know? Call me selfish, but I wanted someone to more than remember me....I wanted someone to make a big deal over my 30th year! They ended up taking me to Olive Garden and no one, not a waitress or busboy, NO ONE sang Happy Birthday to me! I was deflated. I secretly cried, but tried not to let anyone see. How pathetic was I! I am a youth pastor and we had youth group that night. I decided to just have fun and enjoy the last of my birthday with my teens. It was fun. We played this great outdoor game and we were running all over the yard and getting all tired & sweaty. Part way through the night, we went inside and decided to play an indoor game. My pastor met us going into the church and took me aside and was asking me questions about an event that was going to take place the next week. He then told me that our other pastor wanted to ask me some questions and chat with me quickly before youth group started. So, I went with him to the basement of the church. He opened the door to the fellowship hall (our banquet hall) and it was all dark. I was like, "What the...?" All the sudden I saw all these flashes (TONS!) and people screamed "SURPRISE!!" It was like I was being followed by the paparazzi! All the youth had snuck downstairs while I was talking to my pastor and there were about 50 of my family and friends. I was floored! SO SHOCKED!! I think that's the point. It was great. The best part about it---and I do mean the absolute best part---was that the food table was ALL stuff that I could eat. It was all food that I eat all the time. You know how some times you go to parties (weddings, bar mitzvahs) and as a bypass patient there might be very few options food-wise? Well, this time everyone else had to eat what I eat!!! That made me happier than having a surprise party! Some of you know what I mean....it SUCKS going to a gathering and there's nothing there for you. The host/ess just shrugs, mumbles and apology and says lamely, "Well, there's salad!" I'm not a complainer and I won't start now and absolutely chose this lifestyle, so i have to plan for myself for moments such as those, but....it wears on me after a while!! When I saw the food table at my birthday party....let's just say I cried. THAT will stick with me for a long time and I will tell people about that very thing every time I mention my birthday party!
So, what do I do with my time now? I still work with youth as a youth pastor at my church. It's fun and tough and rewarding and difficult and an all-around good time. Hardest thing I've had to do so far! Besides youth work, I work a second job at Wegmans in the Nature's Market department. That is the oranic/whole foods section. I like it.....well, I like the section, but I'm finding more and more that I DO NOT like to work there in the department!! It's back-breaking work. Now, I'm not a lazy girl and I don't try to get out of doing things. It really IS a hard job! Not just lifting and stocking and refilling shelves and ordering, but fast-paced stuff. Ordering on a time crunch and getting boxes out now now NOW!! I've been talked to about how I need to get faster at my job. It's so stressful, being told that you have to go go go, constantly. Every day it's a new challenge! The worst part is I am unhappy in that department. At least as a cashier and working in the cafe I could interact with customers. Now, even though I still interact with customers, if I stand around too much and talk with them, answering their questions, I'm told that I look like I'm not doing anything, even though I'm doing what the higher-ups want me to do. It is horrible. I feel bad when I look forward to days when the department manager is not there, so I can feel more relaxed and able to get stuff done. And believe or not, I am way more productive on days when she is not there. That sucks. I mean, it's great, but.....And then she's been really coming down hard on me because of my availability. I'm getting pretty sick of it. I'm trying to find a different job where I can put my college degree to work. After all, why did I go to college for four years and accrue debt for? Not my health! So I can make more money and do what I love. Guess it's time I do that, five years after I graduated from college!!!
So, what else? I've been going to the gym. My friend that I had been walking with bought me a gym membership. Well, she paid for the initiation fee and then I pay for monthly fees. She said she'd help me if I needed it. So, now we go to the gym. We usually go 3 or 4 times a week, more if we're able to. It's tough because we're working around my schedule because she doesn't work and I don't have a car. So, it's tough. But I gotta tell 'ya: It feels good to work out! I mean, after a stressful day at Nature's, I go in there, work my abs or whatever muscle group I'm working that day, and then I get on the treadmill and just RUN! It feels so good to just get junk out on the treadmill! I might need to do that tomorrow. I didn't go today because I've been feeling a little under-the-weather lately. Not sad or depressed, just not feeling up to par. I felt kinda worn and tired today, so I didn't want to go to the gym and spread anything I might have. More than likely, though, it has something to do with a vitamin deficiency or lack of enough water. Or both. Man, that sucks. I gotta get bloodwork done. I'm four months away from being two years out and I never had my one year bloodwork done because of a lapse in insurance. I gotta get insurance....which is why I need to leave Wegmans and get a full time job that has benefits!!
So, if anyone knows of any jobs in the human services field (I'll move ANYWHERE!!) let me know. Hey, more later. I have to go to bed. Enjoy your journeys!!