My long overdue Break-Up with FOOD

May 04, 2011

I have never ever “blogged” before, so forgive me in advance if I’m not ‘blog-worthy’  

This is going to be the start of my journey. I have forever battled with my weight and terrible eating habits. Food and I have always had a strange Love-Hate relationship. I enjoy eating it (some foods more than others) and always turn to it when in need emotionally. At the same time, however, I can’t stand what it has done to me. See what I did there? I blamed the food for my problems. That’s actually pretty easy to do. This is the stump in my yard that, no matter what chemicals I pour on it, or how many times I attack it with an axe, I can’t seem to get rid of it. This is the root of all my problems. I need to Break-Up with food. It can have all the ice cream in my freezer, the bagels in my pantry and the bacon in my fridge in the divorce. I am fed up with the constant roller coaster ride that is my relationship with food. Food has me under its thumb and it knows I will always come back to it, even if we take a break. Well, NO MORE, I say!! It is time for me to grow up, move on and find other means of entertaining/comforting myself or working out stress. My current plan for this is:                
                  Bad day at work-bag of chips                 
                  Boyfriend going out with friends-Ben & Jerry’s                 
                  Watching TV-bag of popcorn
You get the point.
I need the get back to being just acquaintances with food. “Hey, food, how’ve you been?” Food needs to go back to being just for nutrition. I no longer want to enjoy food’s company. I only want to have to communicate with food when necessary (like the annoying person at the office that doesn’t pick up on social cues that you’re not interested in their conversation). Enough is enough!   So, I have made a decision that will help me meet two different goals that ultimately have the same end result. I have decided that I want (need) to have Lap-Band surgery. A co-worker/friend of mine just recently had this done and she has helped me to realize that I need to buck-up and do it. I’m scared as heck, since I’ve never had ANY medical procedures done. But seeing her progress in the short time that has passed since she took the leap has really motivated and inspired me to Just DO IT already!!
I am tired (and beyond tired) of not being able to shop in certain stores because they don’t carry large sizes. I am tired of buying something that (in my head) should look super-cute, but when I wear it, I look like Violet from Willy Wonka when she turns into a blueberry (minus the blue). I am tired of not being able to wear cute accessories cause they won’t fit. I am tired of constantly having to pull my shirt down to make sure that nobody has to be faced with the monstrosity that is my massive gut. I am tired of hating how I look naked (which raises the question, how can I expect him to be ok with it if I am NOT?). Most of all, I am tired of my insecurity with my weight keeping me from doing the things that I would like to do, for fear of what people will say.
I have been checking out the OH site for a little while (as recommended by my above mentioned friend) and must say that I am incredibly impressed at how much we all have in common and how supportive everybody is of people that most of you have never even met. I just hope that in my upcoming time(s) of need, I will have the same support I have seen you all give other users!   Looking forward to some progress-FINALLY!    

0 Comments