Patricia Hagmaier

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Hi all,
I know I don't post very much, but today is important and I knew I needed to come and share.
I still remember last year like it was yesterday.  The anticipation, fear of failure, and the long, long, long wait!!!!

Here I am though I year out and down a total of 125lbs.  My initial goal was 125, however, due to chronic pain I am having a very hard time being consistent with excersise, I am waiting on state insurance so I can be treated.
Anyway, I cannot seem to lose anymore off my stomach.  Everytime I lose it comes off places that don't need losing and I end up with more skin.  I am contemplating not going any lower, getting my body strong, building muscle and waiting a year before any plastic.  I have a feeling though I most definitley will need a tummy tuck and augmentation of Breast because I have completely deflated, LOL.  I look like I have breast fed 20 children.

I have finally figured out most of my quirks with my pouch and am now able to eat healthy regular food, but it took me a long time.
I told my husband last night, my surgery happened so fast, I was very bad in one particular area of getting ready, chewing 20-30 times, I have FINALLY implemented that I am able in a 45 min period to get 4-6 onces of food down.  I am sure none of you where so thick you didn't figure this out much sooner.  I am too thick some times, and had spent most of my life eating in a 5 minute span so learning to sit for 45min is a new challenge, but one I happily take on.

I am grateful to each of you, despite my lack of participation you have always been here for me and you have no idea how much that means to me.
I love you all,
God bless
Trish

Hey everyone,
I know it has been over a month and half since I have been on the boards.  I am so sorry for that, things at home have been so very difficult, but by the Lords grace and mercy I, we are finally beginning to see the light ahead of us.
On the 6th of April I celebrated my 8 month anniversary and also joined the Century Club with an offical weight loss of 104lbs and a weight of 154.  I am in a size 12 and mediums and am on the brink of moving into 10's.

I wish I could say I have been the perfect RNY patient because I haven't.  I have no problem staying away from forbidden foods, the problem goes the other way.  I have a very hard  time holding down any kind of meat at all, unless it is chili.  I am to a point I am almost a vegetarian.
I have been living off protien bars, yogurt and chili and worst of all I did not excersise at all over the last 8 months.
Finally, everything here at home came to a head and we as a couple, a family and me as an individual hit rock bottom.  
3 days ago we went a joined Ballys and have already worked out twice.  I had forgotten how GOOD it feels to use my muscles like that.  
The only thing I really knew is that I hate to walk for excersise.  
I know I have friends here on OH, but I literally have no friends in person.  All my really good friends live from 1.5 hours away to 3000 miles away.  
We still have not gotten back to church but I am truly holding out hope that we are going to get there. 
The Lord has brought me so far, us out of the woods with our relationship and my kids are responding to me in such a different way now that I am out of bed and doing house work, going places with them.

The best part of all of this, besides the Lords blessings and presence in my life, is that in January I turned 40 and something really happened for me.
For this girl who has had body image problems her whole life, I no longer do.  I put a bathing suit on yesterday and thought I looked good, THAT IS A HUGE MILESTONE FOR ME.  Turning 40 liberated me from all that crap, all the crap I was fed by my family, the media and people in general around me.  Now, I know I am seeing me for the first tme in my life.  
True, I definitely don't like a lot of what I see, but Praise Jesus that He is in my life, because I know He will change those things in me.  
I am going to have my husband take a picuture of me tomorrow when I am ready to go to the gym and you will finally get to see what I look like now.
So, what I am really working on is tring to eat more and better, getting to church, getting involved, meeting other women and finally after years being a REALLY GOOD role model for my kids.  
I am by the grace of God first, so proud to be me now.  I am a survivor of obesity and though I am no where near the end of the road, nor will I ever be, I can see me, the real me and I am forever grateful to God, my surgeon, and all of you who encourage me and lifted me up over the last 8 months.
God bless each of you abundantly,
Trish

Hey all,
I have finally gotten a chance to get on here.  Things have been really difficult for quite some time now.  I lost my job right after I went back to work after my surgery and my husband was fired a month ago because he has been so sick. 
We are living on 1400.00 a month with 5 of us and I we have no medical insurance. 
I believe with all my heart that when things get this tough there is something increadible on the other side. 
I am down a total of 92lbs, but I must admit I am struggling with eating still.
If I try to eat any kind of meat what so ever I throw up, it looks like I may end up a vegetarian.  Is that okay to do with my new stomach.  I can eat any kind of beans, yogurt, coffee, water, low fat cheese, peppers, lima bean, green beans, salad, whole grain crackers, chili, beans only. 
So I guess what I am asking is am I going to be okay.
Along with that, my depression has been at an all time high, I am not excersising at all, I feel angry a lot, espeically because my husband and family continue to eat crap I cannot have right in front of me and before surgery I used food to fix myself.  I have no where to go with my feelings other than to deal with them so I am angry or crying a lot.
I am still alone w/o women friends for the most part.  I keep trying to get myself on a roll of getting back into church where my friends are, but it is so hard.

Lastly, one blessed thing, my mother gave me a trip out to Modesto, Ca, (where I grew up till 8 years ago) to visit my friends, one of which has had an RNY in the last year and a half. 
So I have a question for you, I am staying with my friend who had the surgery, however, how do I bring up that I cannot eat a lot of what others can.  Should I just buy my own food, or be honest and let her know.  I don't know which would be more rude or hurt her.
Anyway, I am going to get a picture of me up and updated in two weeks.  I promise.
I have really missed you all I need a lot of support and help so feel free to jump in and give me input.
Love
Trish

Hey all,
I haven't had a chance to check in for so long.  I am currently down 79lbs and am 179.  I am in size 16 now I can't believe it and I am finally joining a gym that I really love and I am so excited about it.  Eating has finally turned the corner for me.  I am able to eat 6 times a day about 4oz each time.  I am trying new things and as everyone told me, I have finally turned the corner, Praise God.
I have missed you all so much.  Things have been really hard at home.  As I have said in the past, we are losing our home, we lost our car, by Gods grace we have another one at half the price and a better car fuel wise.  The one blessing is that we could be in the house for quite a while during foreclosure because the market is so bad.  So all I am hoping for is 1.5 years so my kids can be in this house when they graduate high school.  What a great blessing that will be.
I am still smoking and I truly ask all of you to pray for me that I quit on New Years, it is so important to me.  The other prayer I have is that this coming year My family and myself truly get to a place in Christ that is where He wants us.  One that is real, going to church, being available to help others.
I love you all and pray your holidays bring you great joy.
Love
Trish

  Hey everyone,
I just got back from the docs and I am down 60lbs and at 199 below the 200 mark.  I am still having a hard time eating and getting enough in espeically protien it makes me dump.
I am pressing forward though and I have decided to join curves for now because I am having such a hard time with excersise.
Love to hear from you
Trish

Hey all,
I finaly got wieghed and after 8 weekds I am down 46lbs. 
I am so grateful and amazed.
Priase the Lord.
Trish

Hey all,
I am doing okay.  I am not sure at this time what I weigh.  I will find out on Friday at the surgeons.  I have not been allowed to weigh myself at home because I become a scale addict and I already had a small stall and freaked out.
So I have to go my PCP once a month so that will be my wieigh in.  Other than that I will be doing measurments.  I am still really hesitant to go for the gusto on the solid food.  I eat fish and chicken, eggs w/ whole wheat toast, a  lot of yogurt, smooties and protiens shakes oh yeah and refried beans with taco sauce and low fat cheese.  That is the base of my diet.  I tried some veggies and oh my gosh it hurst so I am weighting.  Still having problems with calcium so I am going to talk to the dietician on friday.
I will update again on Friday with my new weight.
God bless and hope all is having great success.
Trish

Hey everyone,
I am so amazed at how well this surgery has worked.  I guess int he back of my mind I was afraid I would be the one that it didn't work on.
I am down from my highest weight of 258 down to 232 so a total loss of 26lbs.  I am blown away.  I am getting out almost everyday and walking alot just doing everyday stuff and I am walking at night.  Not perfectly yet, but I am getting there.  I know once it cools off a bit I will be much more eager.  We are also talking about getting an eleptical for home so I have access right there so I don't have to worry about the elements, esp during winter.

I feel really good except for my incision pain.  Why I am still hurting I dont know, but I have one really large scare on my right about 3.5 inches and it is really sore.  That is the only one that hurst.
I am really having a hard time getting in my calcium because it constipates me sooooooo bad.  Does anyone else have this problem. I don't know what to do, I am taking colace like I am supposed to, but to no avail.
Any suggestions would be great.
I love you all and am praying for all that you are doing well and for those getting ready to take the plunge, my prayers are with you for no complicatons and a quick recovery.
The Lord bless all of you
Trish

Hey all,
Yesterday, Friday the 17th was my first post op.  I FINALLY got my drain out, uuuugggghhhh felt really weird, but WOW do I feel like a different person since it came out.  I was actually able to walk an entire time around the block and before i could only make it down the street!!!!
I am now starting pureed diet, love it, I am being really creative and its nice to eat something with flavor to it.
     I was soooooo scared to get weighed, I did not know what to expect so I was just hoping it was down.  Wow, was it down, 14lbs in 12 days I was blown away and so grateful to the Lord to see this surgery already paying off.
I went out and bought new make up and realized I really want to start taking care of myself.
The hardest thing is the head hunger.  I honestly was not prepared for how intense it can be.  It will hit me out of now where too.  

What I realized about myself this last week is that I was much more a compulsive eater than I realized.  I had myself fooled into thinking it was more about my body not able to lose weight and in the last week I realized is that I was not able to stop eating and as stupid as this sounds this is the first time I really owned that and accepted it.

I am ready to go to a support group meeting and am hoping to go to one with my friend and angel Cindy.
Anyway, I am Praising the Lord for his increadible work and grace that He as always provides a way for us.  He provieds increadible medicatons for those of us who need it , this surgery to save our lives, which really wasn't readily available until 10 years ago or so.  I just feel blessed, gloriously blessed.
My prayer is that all of you will feel/be as blessed as I feel and am blessed.
Love to all
Trish

Hi Everyone,
Since I cannot figure out how to access my angel page to change the name I am going to post it right here.

My Angel is:  Cindy and her user name is lv2beasahm.  The link to her profile is http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/lv2beasahm/

My surgery date was changed from the 7th to the 6th of August.  I will be at University of Penn Hospital probably till atleast Thursday, if they do open till Friday.
My home number is 856-292-3368 and you can reach my husband by cell after 2pm at 610-636-1077.
I will be talking to Cindy tomorrow and this weekend and she will have all my information.
I simply ask for prayer, that I stay healthy, that nothing goes wrong.  From putting the IV's in to the anethesia and the anethesiologist, the Nurses, orderlies and any one else who will be working with me.
Pray for my husband too, he gets really frantic and for my children that they will have peace as well.
Tomorrow is officially my last day eating my old way.
I start my bowel prep Saturday afternoon then won't be able to leave the house till monday unless I have a port a potty.  LOL
I love you all, I am so grateful you are all here, I would not have made it this far without the Lord and the way he has used each of you in my life.
See you on the other side at the Losers bench.
Final weigh in before surgery 254.  GOING DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN.
Love Trish