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There have been some questions about my progress and some of the things I've gone through since my VSG, so I thought I would address them here.  Again, not sure I can remember everything about right after the surgery, but I’ll do my best.  And I can definitely tell you what things are like for me now.

My operation was at about 5pm on a Mon; I was up walking by 10p and went home at 4pm the next day.  The whole experience was great, and the staff at Dr. Schoen’s office and University Hospital here in Aurora were amazing!  Right after my surgery, I remember thinking how weird it was to not feel hungry.  I never had to do a liquid diet or anything like that, but I wasn’t allowed to eat for about 36 hours before my surgery and that seemed like forever.  But once I was out of surgery, I couldn’t care less about not being able to eat.  The only thing I seemed to miss was chewing.  For 6 weeks I had to go from liquids to mushy to soft, and I still remember the first couple of bites (and that was all I could eat) of a scrambled egg about 4 wks out.  It just felt so good to chew something. 

Medically I did really good after my surgery, and never had any complications.  I healed up quickly, and other than the week I spent in bed recovering and the obvious weight loss, you never would have known I had anything done.  It was overall very smooth, which was a blessing.

OK, so back to how things went.  I don’t know how to describe the different mindset that I had after the surgery, but it really changed the way I felt about food.  I’m a food addict, so I know there must have been times that I missed it a lot more than I remember.  Several months out, when I was finally brave enough to try some dense meat, I made beef stroganoff (my FAV) and ate with the family.  A few bites in I was full, of course, and I do recall being very disappointed about that.  It tasted really good, and I wanted to eat more but I knew if I did it would just come back up.  I was deathly afraid of stretching my sleeve all the time, so I worked really hard at not overeating.  I had (and sometimes still do) a very distinctive hiccup/burp combo that always efficiently warned me when I was done.  I learned to trust that.  Oh, and I was very religious about the not drinking with my meals thing.  Even though I’m far enough out that I could technically drink with meals now, I rarely do.  Partly because I’m not used to it, and partly because I just physically can’t do it.  I feel too full and then I don’t eat, or if I do eat I feel miserable.  So it’s just not worth it.

I will be 3 years out on July 7^th, and I can honestly say that I feel like I eat pretty much the way I did after about 6 months out.  There are a few times a month I can eat more than usual, but 95% of the time I can eat about ½ a hamburger and a few fries, or a medium sized salad that I try to load with protein & good fats, or about the equivalent of those things.  I do not always eat as healthy as I should, but I find myself drawn to healthier foods than I ever did before the sleeve.  Back then, I only ate something healthy if I was on a diet.  It was like an apple with peanut butter was punishment, now it’s a great snack.  I’m shopping healthier too, so my kids are eating better, and I believe they will all remain healthy and fit (as long as they’re eating under my roof) just based on how they’re developing their food habits.  I can still feel like eating when I’m emotional, but now I will look at what I have here and either the options are pretty good or I just don’t eat.  I don’t put food in my mouth just to have it there anymore.  I have to want something, and cravings and hunger just aren’t things I experience very often.  There are MANY days that I’ll look at the clock and it’s 2 in the afternoon and I realize “wow, I should really eat something today!”  That sounds good to someone who has dieted for years and has always wanted to not feel hungry, but it can be a bad thing and I constantly have to keep an eye on myself so that I can get enough calories and fat in my body.  But it’s like anyone else in the world…you just have to self-monitor your food intake.  But now instead of restricting it I’m ramping it up a little  The main thing that lets me know I need to eat is shaking.  I’ve had a recent physical, and am very healthy and have no signs of blood sugar problems or anything, but when I don’t eat my whole body shakes.  So I try to get in something before I get to that point, because it’s fairly uncomfortable.        

Heartburn.  Yes, I still have it, but not as often as in the beginning.  And I know what’s going to trigger it, so I keep a lot of Tums on hand.  For me they work just fine & I don’t have to remember to take a Prilosec every day.  I’m terrible about taking pills!  And as for what I can and can’t eat….there has been nothing I can’t eat.  Somebody asked about sugar cravings.  If I want something sweet, I can have it.  That’s why I chose the sleeve.  The band restricts dense food and bypass has dumping from eating too much sugar, so I love that there are no restrictions in my diet.  I do try to make the best choices for at least 2 of my meals per day, still starting with protein & veggies and then eating the carbs if there is room (we are mid-westerners originally, so we have a lot of meat & potatoes around here).  But if I want a donut for breakfast, I have it.  Because I know I’m not going to take in too many calories over the rest of the day, and also because I know I can eat that one donut and not want 6 more.  When I’m full, I’m full.  And it has just become habit to stop then rather than push myself to being sick.  It’s like anything else.  It happened over time, and once you keep doing what you’re doing, it just becomes what you do.

So this is getting pretty long, and some of you may have fallen asleep by now.  I will continue to update this and provide any information that might be useful, and some that’s just ramblings coming out of my head.  Sometimes you have to weed through those to get to the useful stuff!    Thanks for reading…I’ll be back!

So I got on here for the first time in forever today and typed up this long wonderful story about what's been going on with me since the last time I updated, and wouldn't you know right near the end my whole computer locked up and I lost it.  Soooo frustrating.  But I'm back...at least I didn't wait another 2 1/2 years.

Wow, I can't even believe how weird that is to type.  Before I had my surgery I couldn't imagine becoming one of those people who just disappear and never come back to help those who are just looking into or starting the process.  I used to basically LIVE on this site, and it was a great source of information and support to me for many months.  After the surgery I couldn't wait to come back and update my pictures each month, though I can see I didn't do that very thoroughly either.  As the 3 year anniversary of my VSG approaches, I realized that I did exactly what I wasn't going to do, and that was bail on this site.  Not to mention, I really loved having a place to come put my thoughts and progress from each month or so.  It has been incredible today to be able to look back on some of that, and know I never want to go back to that place. 

I guess you can see where I've come from by looking at my old posts or info, but just a quick recap.  I started this journey in Feb of '08, looking into having a LapBand.  (I'm so glad I changed my mind, but I won't go into that here).  When a great woman on this site suggested looking into the VSG, I knew right away it would be the perfect surgery for me.  I started w/one surgeon, but his policy at the time was you had to quit smoking for 6 months before you could have the surgery.  I had already set a date before I even went to that appt, but I wasn't very excited about waiting the full 6 months, so I went for another consult.  This doc's policy was you had to quit for 6 weeks, which I had already done by the time I actually met with him.  I should say that in between these 2 appts I almost gave up on this idea, and am now so grateful that I changed my mind and made that 2nd appt.

My preop weight was 282, though I had gained 10lbs of that in the 6 weeks between my appt and my surgery.  I look back at those pix and I'm horrified that I did that to my body.  When I weighed myself this morning, I was 159.7.  I haven't been under 160 since I was 15, so this was cool.  I haven't weighed myself in a month, because it's really just not that important to me anymore.  My weight has gone up and down a little bit over the past year or so, but usually just between 163 & 170.  I do try to not worry about the numbers, and figured I had gone down because I went from a pretty solid size 8-10 to a 6, and could probably squeeze myself into a 4 if I wanted to look like a circus freak.   I lost about 100lbs in the 1st 6 months after the surgery and the rest has just whittled off a little at a time.  I was so happy to be under 200 that I really didn't care how fast the rest came off.   I've been stuck for quite a while, but I have been doing pretty much nothing to get closer to goal, so I don't feel too bad about it.  Every time I think about going on a "diet" I cringe.  I haven't done that in 3 years, and it truly feels like having lost contact with a very toxic friend who you just do not ever want to see again.  And you don't have to.

Not everything in my life has been rosey since my VSG.  I have been home w/my kiddos for 5 years, and desparately want and need to go back to work now that they'll all be in school in the fall.  The job market sucks, even with a degree, so I'm competing with a minimum of 200 people for ever job I apply for.  Sucks.  I'm learning to live in my new skin all the time, and go from liking the compliments and attention to wanting the weirdos to leave me alone!  I've always attracted that kind.  ;-)  There have been some other ups and downs, some that are still going on and some that I'm sure I will face eventually.  I never expected this to change my entire life, but I will say that every change that's come, the good, bad and in between has been worth it.

I'm happy to talk to anyone about whatever questions or comments they might have.  I know this seems like an overwhelming journey in the beginning, but you just have to take it in baby steps.  Please bear with me, because I know I don't remember every little detail about what I went through and exactly when things happened and so on.  It's amazing the life you can have when you take off the extra weight and get out there and live.  Sometimes those new memories overshadow the old ones...but it is the best decision I've ever made!

Well, I didn't take 4 month pix because I left the cord to charge my camera at my mom's in ND and didn't get them done in time.  But no good excuses for not blogging last month.  Other than the fact that I'm busy living life instead of living on this site waiting for life to begin!  Though I still love OH and my dear friends here as much as ever.  Just finding more and more things I'm able to do now that require I get off my ass and do them!

Five months out from surgery and I'm much further along than I had ever dreamed possible.  I know it's not all about the numbers on the scale, but I can't help but be amazed at weighing in the 180's (187.2 on the Wii this week) rather than the 200's.  I've only been below 200 a handful of times since starting college in 1994, and they were all short lived...sometimes as short as 2 wks!  To not only be maintaining in the 100's but still losing is a miracle to me.  My size is decreasing slower now, but still going down.  I only do measurements ever 3 months, so next month we'll see how many inches I've lost.  But yesterday I put on my DH's jeans by accident, and they fit just fine!  He's always been smaller than me, so this is a big deal to me.  I don't yet weigh less than him, but am a little taller therefore we're about the same size now.  I'm figuring by 6-7 months out I will officially be below him on the scale and staying that way.  But I'm plumping him up w/cookies and high-fat suppers just to make it easier on myself! ;-)

At about 3 months out I really started to lose my hair.  It has been kind of hard to take, because at 50lbs lost I got it cut shorter than I've had it in years (and not on purpose...the hairdresser didn't understand what I was telling her, but I like it).  My mom said it was about time I got a grown-up cut anyway.  Guess the daily ponytail was getting old.  Anyway, my hair has thinned out to a point that I've gotten a bit worried.  Not to mention there is hair all over everything in my house!  But it seems to be slowing down, and I've started using some ridiculously expensive shampoo & conditioner (Nioxin) to help it grow back faster.  So I've gone from the fat girl w/the long beautiful hair to the thinning girl w/the short dark hair.  I can deal with that!

Other than that, I'm enjoying all the same NSV's that many of us talk about: having more energy, getting to play w/my kids, doing more around the house, shopping in my closet, fitting into new clothes, not having to "squeeze" into tight spaces, compliments all the time, better relations w/my DH, and so on.  There are some drawbacks, like the excess skin issues.  I would probably be a full size smaller if it wasn't for the skin, and even clothes that fit me well don't always look good because I have the same rolls on the stomach...they're just mostly skin now instead of fat.  I'm sure they will shrink a little more as I get to goal, but they definitely won't be resolved unless I have surgery on them.  That's not going to be finacially feasible for a while, but I'm not stressing about it yet.  Any way you look at it, I'm so happy I decided to have this surgery, and still am completely grateful to Susan (a fellow OH'er) who recommended me looking into the VSG.  I know I would have researched it myself, but it was her glowing recommendation that led me to consider it where I might have been scared away by the concept of having a major portion of my stomach CUT OUT!  Thanks Susan...you rock!

As this year comes to an end, I've been reflecting on where I was last Christmas, and how different my life has become this year.  No, all my issues are not resolved because of this surgery.  But my most constant daily concerns have been removed, food and weight.  At least for now, I feel like I can breath.  With this site, my surgeon, my support groups & my HP, I can do anything!!

*Angel
   

4 months out yesterday and I feel like I haven’t been on here in forever. First I got addicted to Facebook, which took me off of OH, then I just got busy w/LIFE! And I’m thrilled to say I finally feel like I have one again. 

So what can I say about what’s been going on with me.   Let’s start with old demons. I went home to ND to visit my family for the first time since surgery. In fact, the last time I was there was literally days before my surgery, so it was the first time most of them had seen my progress, and even the ones who saw pix were surprised. Lots of wonderful compliments and questions about what I was doing. I was very straight-forward about my surgery (as I always have been), and found myself becoming a “spokeswoman” of sorts for VSG. I’ve always been comfortable talking about it, I know that’s not for everyone, but I found myself getting a little sick of repeating the same thing over and over and over. It gave me a whole new respect for politicians! But maybe I gave somebody the information or hope they needed to move forward with WLS themselves. I know it has changed my life, and there are many out there who could benefit from it. Anyway I’m getting off track. After almost 4 straight months of consistant weight loss, I did gain 2 lbs on my trip. I ALWAYS gain weight when I go home, usually a lot more than 2 lbs. But I was hoping this time would be different. The sleeve did its job…kept me from gorging myself on my favorites while I was there. But I failed by making a lot of bad food choices. I’m telling you, I have some serious psychological issues around going back home, even though I really love it and look forward to it. I just can’t keep my hand out of the cookie jar, literally and figuratively.   

On a positive note, I did get to meet the very lovely and gracious Gretchen (gpete), who had my & my kids over for breakfast and a break from our long drive. She is a very cool person, and it was great to get to meet her! Thanks G!  

So this week I’ve found it much easier to get back to my post-op plan, and have had not problems keeping my fingers out of the Halloween candy and other goodies around here. It’s good to be home! I am down the 2 lbs I gained and a couple more, brining me to…da dada da…ONEDERLAND!! I’m am also now officially overweight, and my kids were all shocked to hear the the Wii Fit guy say “That’s Overweight” instead of “That’s Obese” when I stepped on the scale. My DD had to ask me what he said. It was fabulous. So as far as numbers go, I’m basically down from 282.2 to 197.8, from a BMI of 42.9 to 29.97, and from a size about 24-26 (I wouldn’t buy any clothes at my high wt, so I’m not sure), to a 16 going on 14.   

Other than all that I’m just enjoying have enough energy to play with my kids and not just keep blowing them off to sit on the computer or whatever else I used to think was more important. And I’m keeping my house up w/a lot less effort and basically just enjoying life! Hope you all are good, and I want to wish the best to any newbies & those having surgery soon. It’s the best decision I ever made!!

My original plan was to get half way to goal by 3 months out from surgery, but my surgeon's office wanted me to get there by 6 months.  Well, I'm pleased to say I did it in under 11 weeks!  As of yesterday I was down 68 lbs, with 64 more to get where I want to be.  I'm pretty excited.  I don't know why I went down so much this past week (6.4 lbs), because I feel like I'm eating more than ever and didn't get as much exercise in as I had been.  But I guess my body was alright with that.  

For fall I've set a goal of 130 hours of exercise between yesterday (the first day of autumn) and the first day of winter.  So far so good!  I've mostly been walking, but I plan to start working more on my Wii Fit & doing my Pilates videos.  

I'm feeling great. And even w/almost half of my EW to lose, I'm starting to take better care of myself and care if I take better care of myself.  I'm having fun getting some new clothes, wearing makeup & jewelry more, and just in general giving a shit about my appearance.  I didn't always you know... 

Well, I'm officially 2 months out from surgery.  As of this morning I'm down 59.1 lbs, can fit back into some old clothes, and have so much more energy it's amazing!  I will have my 9 wk follow-up appt this week, and can't wait to see what the dr's scale says.  Though I'm very happy w/the results on my Wii Fit!!  I finally posted some pix & updated my avatar.  Not sure I'm completely happy w/it, but maybe I'll take a better picture when I actually do something w/my hair & slap on some makeup.  Or...maybe not.  Sounds like too much work.

Oh, did I mention I cut off my hair!!  I've had the same length hair for years, well past the middle of my back.  But I just got bored w/it when I hit the 50 lb loss mark, so I went in to have it taken off.  It's a little shorter than I wanted, but I'm kind of liking it.  Then I decided to color it myself.  I will probably stick w/darker colors over the winter, then get it lightened up in the spring. 

OK, enough about me.  No wait, this is my profile.  Who else am I going to talk about?  Well, I guess the only other thing is to, once again, say how much I LOVE my sleeve.  This has been one of, if not THE best thing I've ever done for myself.  And I'm so grateful to all the wonderful people I've met on this board.  OH ROCKS!!

Time to get to bed.  I'll try to update more often.  Best wishes to all the other WLS patients on here.

Just wanted to post real quick on here.  I updated some things in my profile, and am having  pretty good day.  I need to get off this damn computer though if I'm ever going to get anything done.  Anyway, I'm such a scale whore...I can't stay off the stupid thing!  I said I was just going to weigh once a week, but I had to do it today.  Maybe I should say just on Mondays and Thursdays.  Yeah, I could live with that.  Well, I was still down over 2 lbs since Mon.  So that's over 6 lbs since last Thurs when I weighed for my 1 mo surgiversary.  I'm trying so hard not to get used to this, because I know it won't last forever.  But I just can't believe that the wt can just keep coming off like this.  I know I don't eat very much, and I'm walking a lot every day to get Janae from school, but man this is incredible.  I'm very happy with it, but also worry that I'm going to take it hard when the wt loss slows down, or God forbid just stops.  Hopefully I'll have a little while before that happens.  Right now I'm just trying to enjoy where I am, and keep working towards where I'm going. 

BTW, I'm addicted to SF popsicles!!

Well, I did it.  I made it a month and I'm still alive and kicking.  This past month has been very interesting for me.  It's so weird to be developing this new relationship with food.  I haven't even gotten to where I can just eat anything yet.  In fact today I was allowed to go on to soft foods.  That means I can add in pretty much anything I can cut w/a fork.  I had a piece of pizza for supper.  Probably not the healthiest choice, but it's what we had.  I didn't even finish the whole thing.  I think that's the best part of this progression...being able to start eating what the family is eating instead of having to be separate.  I'm trying to feed the kids better.  I took out all the white sugar & flour, and most of the groceries I bought this week were organic.  I don't intend to become a fanatic about it, but I'm trying to do better.  The kids are dealing with is pretty well.

OK, I'm getting off track.  What I really wanted to say about this process is that each food stage seemed like it would be great at the beginning, but of course by the end of the 2 wks on each of them I was so ready to move on.  Then I could try something new and found that it was more comfortable back at the previous stage.  So I've waivered a little bit each time I move on.  But I think this soft food stage is going to be good because I can get more protein in and not have to worry about trying to get in the protein shakes.  I see why they tell you to try samples because I feel like I bought a lot of that stuff and I'm not going to use it.  The protein bullets have such a terrible aftertaste I just can't take them.  I know some others really enjoy them, so maybe I'll find somebody to share them with.

I think that part of my success, or what I consider successful at 35 lbs down since the day of surgery, is that I keep right on moving.  I started out kind of slow on the treadmill, but now I'm pushing my 3 kids plus 2 daycare kids in an 80lb cart at least 40 minutes per day, sometimes 80 minutes.  I had this theory, and it's been seconded by a friend who I consider knowledgable in this area, that if I keep exercising it will help ward off stalls.  I don't really mind if my wt loss slows down a little from time to time if I'm readjusting.  I know that can happen.  But to go weeks w/o any wt loss would be discouraging for me.  So I'm glad for the most part I've been losing very consistantly.  Maybe that won't keep up, but I'm hoping if I keep up the strong exercises I will continue to do well.

Well, I'm having DH take my pix tonight.  I don't know when I'll start posting my before pix.  Probably when I have some really good afters.  What can I say, I'm a chicken.  In the meantime, I'm really learning how to deal w/this new tiny tummy, and finding it strange the way it's affecting the family.  DH asked me if I every regretted thtat he couldn't drink (been sober for over 12 yrs).  I said yes, I often wish we could or did go out for drinks w/friends on the weekend or just some nights during the week.  He could go out and it wouldn't bother him, but it's just not something we do.  Anyway, he said he's finding the same thing w/me & food.  We're very used to having snacks at night, and I was a MAJOR popcorn fanatic.  Now I just can't do that, and really don't want to.  So he's also having to adjust to not having me prepare all these unhealthy snacks anymore.  The difference was he was able to just take one if I baked something good, and I would eat the whole pan.  And the kids are still facinated w/my scars.  They have to look at them almost every day.  Thank God they're almost gone!  So glad I can swim again!!  

Yesterday was my one week followup appt w/Dr. Schoen.  Technically I was 9 days out, but I guess that doesn't really matter.  Everything went really well, and I finally got my drain out.  Man I hated that damn thing!!  I'll be happy to never have another one of those, although I know w/plastics I'll have them again.  Anyway, it's been a pretty good week.  I'm starting to feel a little more normal all the time.  I do still get really tired during the day, but I'm hoping that will pass.  The kids are facinated w/my incisions...they're so weird!  And I'm on to pureed foods.  YYYAAAAYYY!!  I never thought I would be so happy to have a tablespoon of mashed potatoes or refried beans for supper.  And the weird thing is that tiny bit of food not only takes away my physical hunger, but it's really helping w/the cravings in my head too.  I'm only on the first day, so it's hard to say how long it will last.  But I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

As far as pounds...according to my dr's office I was down about 23lbs yesterday from my pre-op appt exactly 2 wks before.  According to my Wii Fit this morning I was down 25lbs from what I weighed on there exactly 2 wks ago today.  Either way, I'm thrilled!  I know some of it was recent wt gain, so I figured it would come off fast.  I just didn't think it would be this fast.  I'm bracing for the stall though.  If it never hits, I'll just be that much happier.

Well, I'm officially sleeved.  I went in on Mon the 7th for surgery at 3:15, but I think it was actually until closer to 5 (they were running a little behind).  I was doing really great waiting until, out of the blue while I was in the pre-op room, I just started to cry.  I don't know exactly why, but I'm sure it was a combination of being completely exhausted (trying to get two 2-yr olds to sleep in their toddler beds for over a month, w/litle luck), hungry (2 days w/o food), and just overwhelmed to be there.  I feel like I've been dreaming of this day for over 5 months, so it was hard to beleive it had finally come.  I know that some peole wait a lot longer, have to spend more time on their liquid diet, etc, but for me, it was a struggle just the same.  So I think all the nervousness that I wan't feeling about the procedure itself just  came to the surface.  Fortunately, DH was there and very supportive.  He started talking to me about different aspects of his job, which I usually don't find at all interesting, but kept my mind of the surgery.  

I don't remember too much after being wheeled down the hall to the operating room until I woke up in recovery.  Without freaking out anyone who hasn't had their procedure, I can say that was a very scary experience.  The only other time I was put under was for a D&C, and when I woke up DH was there and I had no pain.  This was totally different.  I didn't know the post-op nurse who was helping me, and I was in a lot of discomfort.  I didn't feel like I could communicate because my throat was so sore from the tube, and I was so ITCHY all over.  It really sucked.  But once I got moved to my own room (about 30 min later), and on my morphine drip, I was a much happier camper.  

Since Mon night I've had some ups & downs.  Yesterday I woke up feeling great.  I did get up & walk about 10:30pm on Mon night, only because I asked to.  I walked a few times yesterday, and am up now at 4 am because I can't sleep, walking and typing.  I don't have any problems moving, but I'm still a bit uncomfortable.  My stomach is starting to feel like I did a bunch of sit-ups (something I've heard described on here before), I feel like I have bad heartburn (there was an issue w/my insur coverng my prescrip for that med, which I'll have to clear up today), a bit sick to my stomach, and still a little itchy.  I feel a little better all the time, but I'm so glad DH is home w/me this week, because I'm in no shape to be taking care of myself, let alone 3 kids.  I'm grateful to be on the mend, but also REALLY looking forward to getting this drain out and getting to work my sleeve like I should be able to.  Right now I'm having a hard time figuring out what to eat, and how much.  I have all my dietary guidelnes from the nut, but it's a little different when you actually have to follow them, and figure out just how much you can eat before you feel sick, when you are "full" and all that.  Sounds easy on paper, or a computer screen, but it's a little different in real life.  

So I'm very glad to be home, and done w/the surgery.  I will say that when I woke up on Tues my first thought was "Oh, today I get to have my surgery."  But then I realized where I was, and remembered that I had already had the surgery.  I felt literally like a kid on Christmas morning.  Like I had been given the most wonderful gift ever!!  So thank you to my terrific surgeon & his staff (especially Sara), to all you wonderful people for being here for me every day, and to God for putting this all together for me.  You all ROCK!!