Wow, this one is really late!

Jun 22, 2011

So I got on here for the first time in forever today and typed up this long wonderful story about what's been going on with me since the last time I updated, and wouldn't you know right near the end my whole computer locked up and I lost it.  Soooo frustrating.  But I'm back...at least I didn't wait another 2 1/2 years.

Wow, I can't even believe how weird that is to type.  Before I had my surgery I couldn't imagine becoming one of those people who just disappear and never come back to help those who are just looking into or starting the process.  I used to basically LIVE on this site, and it was a great source of information and support to me for many months.  After the surgery I couldn't wait to come back and update my pictures each month, though I can see I didn't do that very thoroughly either.  As the 3 year anniversary of my VSG approaches, I realized that I did exactly what I wasn't going to do, and that was bail on this site.  Not to mention, I really loved having a place to come put my thoughts and progress from each month or so.  It has been incredible today to be able to look back on some of that, and know I never want to go back to that place. 

I guess you can see where I've come from by looking at my old posts or info, but just a quick recap.  I started this journey in Feb of '08, looking into having a LapBand.  (I'm so glad I changed my mind, but I won't go into that here).  When a great woman on this site suggested looking into the VSG, I knew right away it would be the perfect surgery for me.  I started w/one surgeon, but his policy at the time was you had to quit smoking for 6 months before you could have the surgery.  I had already set a date before I even went to that appt, but I wasn't very excited about waiting the full 6 months, so I went for another consult.  This doc's policy was you had to quit for 6 weeks, which I had already done by the time I actually met with him.  I should say that in between these 2 appts I almost gave up on this idea, and am now so grateful that I changed my mind and made that 2nd appt.

My preop weight was 282, though I had gained 10lbs of that in the 6 weeks between my appt and my surgery.  I look back at those pix and I'm horrified that I did that to my body.  When I weighed myself this morning, I was 159.7.  I haven't been under 160 since I was 15, so this was cool.  I haven't weighed myself in a month, because it's really just not that important to me anymore.  My weight has gone up and down a little bit over the past year or so, but usually just between 163 & 170.  I do try to not worry about the numbers, and figured I had gone down because I went from a pretty solid size 8-10 to a 6, and could probably squeeze myself into a 4 if I wanted to look like a circus freak.   I lost about 100lbs in the 1st 6 months after the surgery and the rest has just whittled off a little at a time.  I was so happy to be under 200 that I really didn't care how fast the rest came off.   I've been stuck for quite a while, but I have been doing pretty much nothing to get closer to goal, so I don't feel too bad about it.  Every time I think about going on a "diet" I cringe.  I haven't done that in 3 years, and it truly feels like having lost contact with a very toxic friend who you just do not ever want to see again.  And you don't have to.

Not everything in my life has been rosey since my VSG.  I have been home w/my kiddos for 5 years, and desparately want and need to go back to work now that they'll all be in school in the fall.  The job market sucks, even with a degree, so I'm competing with a minimum of 200 people for ever job I apply for.  Sucks.  I'm learning to live in my new skin all the time, and go from liking the compliments and attention to wanting the weirdos to leave me alone!  I've always attracted that kind.  ;-)  There have been some other ups and downs, some that are still going on and some that I'm sure I will face eventually.  I never expected this to change my entire life, but I will say that every change that's come, the good, bad and in between has been worth it.

I'm happy to talk to anyone about whatever questions or comments they might have.  I know this seems like an overwhelming journey in the beginning, but you just have to take it in baby steps.  Please bear with me, because I know I don't remember every little detail about what I went through and exactly when things happened and so on.  It's amazing the life you can have when you take off the extra weight and get out there and live.  Sometimes those new memories overshadow the old ones...but it is the best decision I've ever made!

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