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Up 2.4 lbs today.  that makes it 183.8.  now that's a WTF moment and I don't usually talk like that.  Well, it's not a surprise.  HOw could it be if I eat chips, cookies and candy?  so in essence it's not a WTF moment...it's a you get what you get moment.  Although I worked out last week according to my plan, I also ate ALOT of stuff that I shouldn't have.  On the 4th...although I can't eat alot...I do eat more of what I shouldn't than what I should.  Then the next day at the waterslides I ate cookies, candy and chips..I was fully concious of what I was doing to...that's the bad thing...I kept telling myself this is just not right.  I didn't eat enough to dump; but I did eat enough to bring me to a place where I was nausous.

Now that that's off my chest...new beginnings right.  Today is a new day and I can't let the negitive from the past haunt me if I"m to be sucessful in this.  I"m trying something new as of today....The 5 day pouch test.  From what I read, the first 2 days of liquid will purge all the toxins from your system and the cravings for carbs should go away....kinda like when we first had the surgery.  I'm off to a good start (it's only 7:30am though LOL)..I did go to the store and get what I needed for the 5 day period...so I'm good to go.

I went to the gym the a.m. at 5:30 and did 60 mins on the treadmill....doing a 2 1/2 walk/ 2 1/2 run program.  It was good.  I sweated like a cow, which I typically don't do.

Have a great Monday and will continue to report on my progress.

Harriet

weighed today.  181.4  WHAT How the hell did I gain so much?  What I've noticed about me is that when I consistantly exercise I gain weight.  That's not cool.  A guy at the support meeting last night made some good points:
1) when you exercise, you build muscle....which will weigh more than fat
2) you retain more water because the muscles need the water to recover 

OK..that sounds good because I know I haven't done anything as far as eating that would have caused a gain (except a piece of Senorita bread..OMG it was so good....but I didn't buy any thank goodness...but I am being accountable by telling you guys I got down on a piece).

Now how can I be excited then?  Well, I did my program again today 3/2 for 45 mins and then 15 mins on weight....so I feel good.

I'm going to keep doing the run/walk program because I really do want to prep for a fun run and I"m going to keep logging food (I didn't log the bread yesterday Oh well) and I'm gong to keep my head up with the knowledge that the scale and/or inches will jump off if I just stay on course.

More excitement.  I wore a size 8 skirt yesterday.  Wasn't tight or anything.  I think I'm done with 10's because they hang in the crotch and butt....so I'm still down sizing.  The good thing is I haven't bought that much.  I was able to raid my daughters closet and 'goodwill' bag right after surgery and hit pay dirt on clothes...but once I can no longer wear 10's, I'll have to go out and buy a few things...probably not til fall since it's so hot here and I have alot of tanks and a few shorts.

Here's to a happy Thursday and wonderful holiday.

day 3 stra8 that I did my exercising.  Nothing to some, but a small victory for me cause i've been a slacker.

I got the book "13 Weeks Run/Walk Program".  I am really wanting to do a race/walk sort of thing where I can run/jog the majority of the way...so this is my way of preparing.  I know in fall they will have some more...so I want to gear up.  Today I did 55 mins on the treadmill at 2 mins running and 3 mins rest/walking.  I was like...that's nothing, 3 mins is to long to rest/walk...well half way though I was glad to get those 3 minute rest walks.  I wanted to throw my hands up in the air when I finished like I crossed the finish line...but that would have embarrased me....so I just celebrated in my head.  As well, this is only the beginning of the prep to get me to truely running..

I went to the grocery store after they gym (was at the gym at 5:30am.. yea me) to get some lean lunch meat to eat with my protein drink for breakfast.  I'm still not getting enough protein, and certainly not eating enough at meals...which is why I graze....so trying to nip that in the bud too.

OK! so Nikki and I have been going back and forth about not being motivated and wondering where all that fire went that we had pre-op.  I gave her a sermon about her not being accountable and not blogging and that posting in a sense is being accountable...blah, blah, blah.

Well, here I am telling her that and I'm not being accountable either.  I"ve slacked off at exercising, taking my vits/mins, and getting ALL my protein in (which is why my hair is thinning . ).The only thing I can say I"m pretty good at now is my water....cause it so dang hot and I"m thirsty alot.

Anyway, when I got back from the cruise her email to me pumped me up and now I have made a vow to push through at a mini-goal for the month of July.  I still have to get with her to determine how we'll be accountable to EACH OTHER, but it's a good start that I feel pumped again. 

So here is my mini for July.  I purposely didn't put a 'scale' goal in there because I"m a slow loser and if I don't hit the weight goal it will discourage me...I have a number in my head....but I want to concentrate on the steps below first and then maybe for August I'll have a 'scale' goal.

By July 31st, I WILL:

1) Be consistant in taking ALL my vits/mins
2) Consistantly hit the gym 4 x's per week
3) Consistantly run a 3/1  on the treadmill with the walk/run program (3 mins run/1 min walk....in prep for a 5K this fall (which will be another goal in Sept or Oct) 
4) LOG ALL MY FOOD INTAKE.......EVERY DAY

I GOTTA DO IT Y'ALL.  I HAVE TO.  There are few goals as far as weight goes that I've actually been successful at in my life and now has to be the turning point....I can't go back to what I once was because I see how good I feel now....so not meeting goals will probably mean being the old me which is not an option .....SO CHEER ME ON, GIVE ME ENCOURAGEMENT AND KICK MY @$$ IF I NEED IT....but I need support at this stage in the game...Whoever said surgery was the easy way out is probably someone who has been pencil thin all their life (or a hater of course).

I can't believe its over so fast.  Back to work and dreaming of the next get away.

Well, i had a ball.  I've been on 5 cruises and this was the BEST I must say.  Not sure why...it just was.  Maybe because I didn't feel all wrapped up in the weight this time around.  I felt lighter, could do alot more without getting hot and tired...who knows.  We did so much more than we ever have...went to the clubs, kareoke (sp),went to a club on Cozumel, etc.

I did dump several times because I ate sweets.  Only once did I dump really bad to the point where I had to go back to my cabin and ..well, you know.  OUr waiter was getting a little frustrated with me cause I couldn't eat that much.  I'd have a salad (big mistake) and then could only eat like a bit or two of my dinner. After two days I stopped ordering the salad and was able to eat a bit more of my entree....He was really very nice though...he told me he just wanted to make sure I liked the food or tell him so he could get what I liked...finally my husband told him i had surgery and couldn't eat alot...then he never stopped apologizing for giving me a hard time.....it was all good...i felt like he was ginuine...  All in all, this cruise was SOOOOO good.  My husband and I had a great time and my son...well, we rarely saw him cause he met friends on the ship and they hung at the pool, golf course, etc...so we were essentually on a 2nd honeymoon...which was good with me.  

At breakfast everyday I had a cheese omlete, bacon and one pancake with s/f syrup.  Ate my omlete first and then whatever I could get down of the rest....most of the time not much.  At luch I'd have a hamburger (about 1/4 to 1/2) with only one side of the bread...and some fruit, maybe a few fries...I did alright as food goes.  as hungry as I'd be, once I started eating, I could still only get down a little. Drank water alot...had sips of lemonade when I got bored with water and had a few glasses of Margarita here and there.   did OK.  Never got tipsy though....I really only drank a little at a time cause I was scared to dump. 

I particpated in everything I could and felt so confident in doing so and didnt' feel uncomfortable about my weight.

Anyway, gotta get to work...have a good one!  Oh yeah!!!! weighed 178.4 on day we left for cruise and weighed 178.2 today - so at least I didn't gain right.  I walked and swam enough, but I'm sure eating the sweets prevented me from losing anything from those workouts....but I didn't gain so i'm good.

Had a WOW moment yesterday.  Pretty cool, cause I actually heard myself say WOW and then laughed (weird...that's me).

I was walking and happened to glance down and got a perfect glance of my feet moving...without the big obstruction of my gut in the way.

It was a perfect view.  May not be a big deal to some, but I haven't had that perfect glance in a long time without first seeing my stomach bouncing around.

It was a good moment for me.

Well, I"ll be leaving for my cruise today.  So excited.  Still at the same weight (today...); so am looking forward to LOSING weight while I"m gone and seeing a few digits less on the scale and measuring tape.

For now...PEACE OUT!

OK, so did my daughters graduation on Friday, did dinner afterwards and then the BBQ.  Didn't get to my other party that night....oh well.

After graduation we went to Red Lobster and I ordered crab legs from the childs menu. Ate about 1/2 piece of the bread and didn't have any of the  baked potato.  On saturday I ate mostly fruit, 1/2 Link and some small pickles.  I must admit that I did have a sliver of strawberry shortcake which immediately didn't agree with me.

All in all, it was a good time.  I was so sore Sunday morning because I moved so much around...so I got a workout in...on top of all that....I have a bad cold; so my appetite was not up to par I"m sure.  We'll, I weighed in today and I"m officially out of the 180's and hit 178.4 ..that's my happy bounce.  I also added a new pic of me and my girl Nikki.  REally shows you how far we've come in less than 4 1/2 months.   PEACE!

Haven't been to my support meeting in 2 months.  WEnt last night.  So glad I did.  It was very beneficial and I felt encouraged when I left.

I also got a recipe for trail mix and peanut butter cookies.....THE trail mix i made this morning.  I added some of my own items....but it's so good.

I have a cold and feel crappy with a huge weekend coming up with my daughters graduation and BBQ.  Have been doing good with my food intake; but feel really bloated in my stomach.  Anyway, that's the update for now.

PS> If you're not in a support group, you really should find one.  It's good to be with folks that know exactly what youre going through and can give you advice based on what they've already experienced.

OK.  So I see some patterns forming that got me into obesity land.

I have always been a sweet eater.  Last night the craving was like what I assume a crack craving must feel like.

I finally gave in, went to the grocery store and bought some apples, SF carmel sauce and lite whip topping.  I was headed there for SF ice cream, but none of it looked good; so this is the concoction I came up with.

I put my apple in the microwave with cinnamon and then once soft, put some carmel and whip topping on it.  It kinds killed the craving...wasn't that good...but it kinda killed the craving.  I am so scared and disappointed in myself that I"m allowing cravings to pull me outta my house.....SIGH

I've come up with a plan AGAIN that I"ve gotta commit myself to.  I guess I've expected the weight to just fall off - which is mostly has without a lot of help from me; but if I wanna move it along and build healthy habits, I have to sacrifice my time, energy and even time with my family.....WHAT, and hour a day....oh please.....that's been one of my excuses to myself lately....I'm with my husband and son.....so can't go to the gym.

anyway What I'm gonna do this week beginning today is (small, but a kick start):

1) Hit the gym 4 times.....50 mins cardio, 30 mins weights
2) Eat 5 times a day.  B, L, D  and 2 HEALTHY snacks
3) I will plan my meals out a day in advance AND NIT VEER FROM WHAT'S ON THE PLAN FOR THAT DAY
4) I will log cals/protein of all meals/snacks
5) I will drink my 60 oz water each day

Today I have 2 parties to go to.  Can I do it?  WELL, I'VE GOTTA DO IT...We all make excuses that this is going on today and that is going on today.....but we are in a fight for the rest of our lives if we're to maintain a good healthy weight....I digress......POWER TO THE OH PEOPLE

DIRTY MINDS!!  Anyway, I"ve been the same weight for the past month...183 (up and down by a pound or so...but the same as 4/30).  Anyway, I was being encouraged by my girl Nikki (Favored) today and she was telling me not to look at the scale and how on Sunday I looked smaller than I ever have since surgery....I know, I know...I've been though this before and it passes; but when you're in the moment, seems like it never will.  I continue to ask myself will I be 183 lbs forever....I'm sure not.  I will reach my goal of 150. - -- (THANKS NIKKI...you are always on time with the encouragement and always make me feel like a million bucks when sometimes I feel like change of a dollar....anyway, next week we have to encourage each other and really be accountable at the BBQ cause you know the eyes will be watching us....HATERS...although no one from church has really been invited)_

Anyway, Decided to measure myself today instead of tomorrow.  Although I'm the same weight, I've lost over 10 inches around my body...what a blessing.  Gosh, I wish that dang scale would move; but in the meantime, the inches falling off makes this process bearable.

So beginning tomorrow, I have 5 parties that I'll be attending in the next 2 weeks...What will I do?  How will I make it though without making bad food choices and risking a weight gain or even worse, picking up those bad habits that are so hard to break?  Those questions and more to be answered on the next episode of As the world Turns after WLS.