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wow, its been a while since Ive posted here
I need to post some recent pics

well Im now about 173 pounds and bought my first pair of size 8's the other day

I am SO HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant even belive my surgery is only 6 days away!!  This all seems like a dream. I still dont think this will work on me.. but Im giving it a shot. I spend all of my days reading other peoples posts dreaming that some day I wil post telling people I have lost 50-70 pounds.  That would be great... we shall wait and see...

omg!! omg!!!  8 days away.. I cant even breath at times when I start thinking about the surgery ..
I have been so bad this past week and I have no clue how Im going to bring myself under control.. so I can loose some pounds before surgery on Thursday (next) ... I know Ive gained galore and am scared that my surgeon might cancel the surgery on the day of surgery.. I dont think he will but you never know.. plus, I dont want him to be disappointed with me..

we shall see.. I will try to get on the wii fit tonight

I will be joining JCC (jewish comm ctr) and hopefully will start lap swimming tomorrow.. so hopefully this will help some..

but on Tuesday I wanted to have a nice last supper.. so I dont know .. maybe excersize twice a day...

aye dios mio..  I cant even belive Im having this done next week.. Im so, so scared
Im anxious about when I go in.. Im scared I might have an anxiety attack or something.. Im scared to wake up from anesthesia and have an anxiety attack.. Im scared I might wake up starving.. Im scared I might have a leak.. Im just freaking scared..
I went to great escapes this weekend.. and I got the huge tube for the Tornado.. by the time I climbed the stairs to the top I really thought I was going to pass out.. I mean literally.. my daughter got a bit scared.. she said I looked really pale.. I tried to get a hold of it.. because I didnt want to freak out.. but I couldnt even catch my breath.. and really didnt catch it until prob 3 minutes after the ride was over..  oh I really dont care how scared I am, I am definetly having this surgery.. I dont want to be  out of breath just by climbing up stairs.. I want to be able to enjoy myself with my kids..

Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve updated here.. Shame on me.. lol

Well ..Everything is going along.. I have 2 weeks left before surgery.

I had the endoscopy done and it was ok.. But I was a nervous wreck and they had to inject me more then normal to calm me down..

I saw the surgeon last week and told him if he thought I was a nervous wreck for an endoscopy he could imagine how I will be the day of surgery.

I am getting so claustaphobic lately.. What’s up with that!!!

I am trying to get on track with my diet.. I have been slacking big time and want to drop as much as I can within the next 2 weeks…but I will admit that I have not been doing good at all.. I haven’t been exercising either...

I will try to get on the wii fit tonight... I promise...

yay.. I got a call from my insurance today .. telling me Im approved.. yay
now if June could go by faster it would be great

Wow..I cant belive it is June 3rd.. you guys were right.. July is going to be here sooner then I thought!!  Im so excited and scared at the same time.. but from other blogs on this site.. Im not alone..
On the 16th is my endoscopy.. I am scared about this... because Im claustophobic and have heard that some people freak out, if put into the twilight sleep.. which is what I belive what they do where Im having it done.. but there is no sense in freaking out about it..  If I did the sleep study, Im sure I can do this..

I cant even wait to post before and after pics.. I decided Im going to take my before pics the night before surgery ...

 

May 14, 2009

So I went to six flags this past weekend and pretty much ate whatever I wanted to eat from Friday night to Sunday night.. I gained 4 pounds. And as of today I have lost them.. I see the surgeon on Wed.. Im suppose to have had the c-pap machine at that point for 2 weeks.. however , the pulmonologist still hasn’t given me my script for the machine.. Im so upset about this . I have called his office and have left several messages, to no avail as of yet.  So, when I see the surgeon on Wed. Im hoping he gives me a surgery date.. this way I will start planning .. or at least know when I will be on the other side.

 

I’ve decided to begin a list of things I want to accomplish/do after Im on the other side..

 

1. Wear a fitted shirt with a nice belt and fitted jeans .. (with the belt actually showing)
2.  Chase my 2 yr old around our kitchen island without  feeling like im going to die
3. Change my walking to jogging to running
4. Run/Jog a 5K ( I will be walking my 1^st one next week)
5. Not always have my hands inside the bottom of my shirt stretching it so that it doesn’t rest on my stomach …
6. not walk around with a sweater at my job to hide my stomach
7. wear a bathing suit without shorts over it
8. go on a cruise and do formal night and dress up and take pics with my family

 

 

MAY 15^TH 2009

            Well the script for my c-pap finally got to the dme vendor.. first of all with my 20% the total out of pocket for me would be $263.. for a 3 month supply

 

My friend was nice enough to give me hers which she has only had for a few weeks..so now my Dr has to fax them another script with the proper setting for this machine.. most likely it will take him another week to fax to them ..

So now I will be seeing my surgeon on Wed. not having used the c-pap at all…so im hoping he will still schedule my surgery.. most likely it will be at least 6 weeks out cause he said I have to have used the c-pap at least for 6 months before surgery…

I don’t know I feel that once they call in the auth req to my insurance (which is also who I work for ) and once they give me a specific date.. I will have a great burden lifted off of my shoulders…I just want this part over with.. I thought my biggest challenge was my losing the 10% but as it turns out its been this sleep apnea thing…

 

 

MAY 18^TH 2009         

            Well, the weekend has come and gone and I didn’t do 100% perfect with my diet. A little of this here and a little of that there.. I made shrimp soup on Sunday.. don’t even know the points to that.. Im sure they are not a lot.. but if I want to be where I want to be by my surgery date.. I should only be having things that I know the points to.. UHHH

Anyway, I start my boxing class today.. so Im hoping that will help with some weight loss before I see my surgeon in 2 days..  I just got a call that they will be mailing my card for my cpap tomorrow.. so I will prob receive it on Wed. so when I see my surgeon on Wed. I can tell him I will start using it that night.. so if he schedules my surgery out 6 weeks that would put me at a surgery date of around   the first week of July .. and you know what.. I’ll take it… Im so excited for my appt on Wed.. 

 

 

May 19, 2009

            So, last night I did the boxing class.. It was very hard and intense but surprisingly I loved it .. I had fun too..  It helped me loose 2 pounds this am.. so Im happy about that..

Being that I see the surgeon tomorrow at 2:15.. Im not going to eat anything all day until after my appointment…so Anthem said they mailed my card today for my c-pap machine.. So when I see the surgeon I will tell him I will start using the c-pap that night.. Im so hoping he will schedule my surgery..  Im excited and very scared about the 5K.. but Im not backing out .. I will do it and will complete the whole thing… I woke up at 4 this morning and have been up and running about ever since.. I had a 2^nd cup of coffee at work but am still so sleepy..  Its really going to be a long day… After work Im going to the mall to get some sandals .. I had a pedicure done yesterday so am wanting to show off my toes… I haven’t had a pedicure for over 18 years.. I have some toe issues and the last time I went I could swear they were talking and laughing about my toes in Chinese..lol

So I haven’t been brave enough to go again.. So I took my sister with me and had it done.. It was worth the $25 …

May 04, 2009

 

So,  I had my sleep study on Thursday.. so they can get the reading on the c-pap machine and have one ordered for me. Being that I have sleep apnea.. well.. the study went as bad ad before .. I was feeling claustrophobic again.. I couldn’t breathe.. and I definetly couldn’t breathe with the c-pap machine on.. It was a nightmare all over again.. uhhhh.. I was going to leave a few times but I stood thank God.. because now.. this week the DME vendor will contact me for me to pick up my c-pap machine and then I will make an appt with the surgeon for 2 weeks from the date I have the c-pap machine and when I see the surgeon (if I haven’t gained any weight) he will schedule my surgery!!  OMG.. I cant believe I really completed all requirements.

            I was 5lbs over the 10% and he said it was no big deal.. this week after my appt. I did have papa johns, friendlys, burger king and we bbq yestererday.. sheesh.. so now that I’ve got that all out of the way and now that I’m 5 lbs over.. I have restarted my diet and will have no further cheat days.. by the time I see the Dr in 2 weeks I plan on being the 217 that would be the 10%....

April 30^th 2009

 

Well, I went to the surgeon last night .. I was 5 lbs away from the 10%.. he said it was no big deal..

But .. the bad news is the pulmonologist called me yesterday and told me that I have moderate sleep apnea.. that I stopped breathing 15 times in 1 hour.. that’s not the worst part.. the worst part is that I have to have another sleep study so that they can get me on a c-pap machine..

The last time I went there… I had a claustrophobic attack!!  I cant believe I have to go through this all over again. 

The surgeon said I have to be on the c-pap machine for at least 6 weeks before surgery.. He said once I have my machine to schedule to see him 2 weeks after and he will schedule my surgery for a little over the 4 weeks..

So…. They were able to fit me in tonight to do the sleep study.. I will get my c-pap machine next week.. and will call the surgeon to have the surgery scheduled..

I cant believe Im made it this far to have to do the sleep study again.. uhhhh

It is going to be another nightmare of a night for me.. I am already panicking and Im not there yet..