WOW moment........random thoughts

Apr 16, 2007

I am so excited!  I had to go buy a new pair of jeans Friday and found that a size 14 fits me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am amazed at how far I've come!  I am very proud of myself as well.  

I'm having difficulty getting rid of all my clothes tho.  I have a trunk that I put them in as I grow out of them.  I cannot bring myself to get rid of them out of "that" fear of gaining back and not having clothes.  Every time in the past I have lost weight I gained it PLUS more back.  I am really freaking out over this!  Anyone else out there felt this way??? How did you finally get rid of the clothes???

It's been a while so here is my surgery story

Jan 30, 2007

I cant believe I have not updated since having my surgery.  Well here is my story........

I was scheduled for surgery December 26th at 7:30am.  I was at the hospital before 6am.  My husband and my dear sweet daughter age 12 were with me.  On the way to the hospital which was a good 45 minute drive I started feeling so sick to my stomach.  I said gosh my nerves are getting the best of me.  When we got there the patient registration was not open yet so we were waiting in the lobby of the hospital.  I felt it coming.......I had to run outside and throw up.  I got registered and had to find the bathroom quickly.  I really was a nervous wreck so I thought.  We were all waiting in the same day surgery lounge and the nurse came for me.  I hugged and kissed my husband and daughter and told them I love them...when I walked out of their sight I began to cry.  Walked in the O/R holding area and still crying.  My nurse got me ready to go and the anasthesiologist(sp) came to talk to me.  I asked him to please pull the curtain closed and go out because I was going to be sick.  AT that point I could not stop throwing up.  It was so much I could not stop.  I had nothing in my system so it was bile.  Dr. Colquitt was outside my curtain and heard how sick I was.  He came in when I was finished and told me he could not do the surgery on me due to my throwing up like that.  I tried to tell him I was just nervous but he said he had never seen anyone throw up that much bile being nervous. He agreed to hold off one day and do it the next day.  He admitted me to the hospital and ordred xrays of my intestines.  Everything seemed ok and the next day I was back in the O/R holding area....feeling sick again, mind you I had been feeling fine since noon or so the day before...I vowed not to start again.  I did not throw up this time but begged the anasthesiologist to give me something to calm my nerves...she obliged and thats the last thing I remember until waking up in recovery in major pain!  I was given some pain meds and fell back asleep.  I was taken to ICU for the rest of the evening and night.  I understand this is normal for all his patients.  I was up walking a few hours later.  The next day I was moved to a regular room.  I figured out the day I was leaving I had been dumping on the jello each time they brought it to me.  I had not idea until it finally dawned on me..I get sick each time I eat jello.  I was having to get phenegran suppositories each time I ate....they were bringing me regular jello not sugar free..  I found out early I dump on sugar and WILL NOT be trying it anytime in the future.  I hated that feeling.  I would start sweating and had to have a cold cloth on me and I would be so sick at my stomach!  ughhhhh!!!   I finally left the hospital on Friday afternoon.  I was glad to be home but I felt scared...I felt like I needed to be at the hospital so they could take care of me.  My family was amazing tho...they all took care of me and I was just fine....  Ok this was my surgery my actual surgery date was 12-27-07.  I have lost 33 pounds but have been stuck here for a couple weeks.  That is nerve wracking!!  Ok more later...have a great day!

Nervous...Scared...not sure what it is!

Dec 04, 2006

Well here I sit with 22 days until my surgery.  I go for my nutritionist appointment Dec 12th then my last appointment with Dr. Colquitt Dec 13th.  I'm not sure what my feeling is right now. I dont know if its nervous or scared or anxious.  Heck I'm not even sure if people read these posts but tonight I feel the need to just type and get this off my chest.  I worry about my kids if something happens to me.  I wonder if they will be mad at me for doing this and then them not having me anymore.  So many thoughts are going through my head.  I know its the best thing I can do for myself. I know that me not having the surgery is just as dangerous because I have so many health issues.  I am so tired of taking all this medication.  I am tired of sticking my finger.  I want my diabetes to get under control or better yet just disappear.  I went to Dollywood this weekend and was with a bunch of other people.  (cheer moms)  A couple convinced me to ride the swings..........well I couldnt figure out how to latch myself in it because I couldnt bend over enough to see what I was supposed to be doing.  One of the moms had to snap me in.........then I couldnt even get out of the thing because I couldnt see again.  My stomach was in the way for me to see it.  I was embarrased and ashamed.  When I bend over to tie my shoe it's like I get all outta breath from it.  I WANT to be able to ride all the rides at amusement parks.  I dont want to feel so ashamed.  I want my husband to be able to carry me piggy back.  I want to weigh less than him!  I have never said my wants outloud but I just told whoever will listen some of them.  I want to use a public restroom without being all cramped inside and hitting my elbows on things.  I want to tuck my shirt in and wear a belt and not have to put on something over that to hide my belly.  This surgery will be the best thing for me.  I will follow all the rules and guidelines.  I will not fail at this!!!  Thanks for reading if anyone did.......I feel better since I got this out of my system.  I will be happy and I will be healthy.
Smoke Free since May 15, 2006!!!!

I got a date!!

Nov 06, 2006

Well today I went to Dr. Colquitts office and saw Jeannie.  She gave me my date!  December 26th.  Merry Christmas to me!!!!!!!!!  I am so happy and nervous at the same time.  I got real down tonight for a bit because I was trying to get ready for work and my clothes are just not fitting me.  I have one pair of work pants that will fit and my shirts are so uncomfortable its crazy!  I tried telling myself just a couple more months and it will be ok....but in the meantime its just depressing!  Oh well enough sad stuff!!  My date like I said is the day after Christmas...that is also my mother and fathers wedding anniversary.  My mother passed away 2 years ago so I'm not sure yet on the feelings I have about the date.  Right now I just need to concentrate on what I need to do and what I need to buy and all of that kind of stuff.  Any suggestions on preparing for my day PLEASE post them to me!!

Feeling really Fat :(

Nov 03, 2006

Today has not been a very good day :(    My belly looks HUGE!  Actually my belly IS huge!  I just dont stop eating the moment I feel full.  I want to get that last bite.  I gained weight as of Monday.  I had an appt with my PCP and had gained like 8 pounds.  I go to my surgeon Monday to be weighed and get my surgery date scheduled.  At my consultation he told me I did not need to lose anything before surgery...........I bet he changes his mind now.  I used to walk the treadmill every day for 30 minutes after I had my stent placement, I got laxed on that and now I never walk.  I think I am going to go find a DVD of some sort for exercising and see if I can do that.  My daughter may help me with that and do it along with me.  She is a god send.  I have a son also but he is 17 and at "that age".  He is a super kid but no time for moma.  Oh well I just needed to vent a little because my belly feels so sick from eating too much.  This has got to stop and I am making it known tonight.......I will take control of my eating and not put my body through this again!



I was approved by UHC on 10.27.06!  Yay me!  I still have to go for my physc evaluation Monday.  I'm not too worried about this....heck I dont think I'm crazy!  :)  I am kinda nervous about the whole thing though.  I keep thinking about my children and what it would do to them IF something happened to me during surgery.  At the rate I'm going I wont make it to grandchildren.  I am so sick of worrying about my sugar and did I take all my meds for the day.  It gets so tiring worrying about medication all the time.  I will pray for strength and the Lord will bless me with the strength to get through this.  God is GOOD!!

About Me
Luttrell, TN
Surgery Date
Jul 03, 2006
Member Since

Friends 40

Latest Blog 6
WOW moment........random thoughts
It's been a while so here is my surgery story
Nervous...Scared...not sure what it is!
I got a date!!
Feeling really Fat :(