HKD1970

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Feb 1, 2008 -- 230 lbs
Mar 1, 2008 -- 202 lbs
Apr 1, 2008 -- 188 lbs
May 1, 2008 -- 179 lbs
Jun 1, 2008 -- 164 lbs
July 1, 2008 -- 153 lbs
Aug 1, 2008 -- 146 lbs
Sept 1, 2008 - 139.5 lbs

Okay, so I had an emotional morning but have been encouraged right and left all day!  Thank you to all who lent me an ear and shoulder today. ((((hugs))))

Well, I did it!
I actually got in my 70g of protein and 64oz of liquid today.  1st time!    
Let's hope I can continue because really, sipping seems to be a full-time job.  And tomorrow I return to work so I can't sip sip sip sip sip....

Thank heavens for those whey (ick) bullets!
3oz of "ick" (IMHO!) but worth it for the 42g of protein!

Day of Surgery
Friday, February 1st:
It all felt so surreal, almost robotic. I wasn't scared, nervous, excited, anything.  What I was...was... relaxed. 
8am -  met with Dr. J
8:30am - met with Constantine (anesthesiologist), met with my nurse, 9am - walked into surgery room D and woke up in recovery a short while later at 10:22.

I was in recovery for about 5 hours - I just couldn’t come out from the grip of anesthesia.  They doused me with Reglan most of Friday which helped me sleep quite nicely. I did get up and walk a few times and though it didn’t hurt, I was woozy.  

Saturday, February 2nd:
Wow, waking up on Saturday, I was like a different person! They removed the IV, and a few hours later,I was discharged. My mom and I stayed one night in SF. We stayed at the hotel and just relaxed a lot.  I tried a couple different variations of protein supplements but I just couldn't stomach them. I made use of the Reglan and Ativan today.

Sunday, February 3rd
We walked around a little bit, went to Cost Plus, had some Starbucks green tea, and came home.  I was drained but not in any pain.  
It was nice to come home to my family (1 husband, 4 kids) but after some hugs and kisses, I went to bed for a while.  Getting in my liquids has been a challenge but I'll keep at it.
It took me from 8am till 9pm to finish off 51oz of liquid!  (20grams of that was protein-based, the rest just Snapple or green tea.) 

We all went on a late walk last night (9pm) and that felt good.  We'll keep it up as I'm quite bloated! 

Slept last night from about 10pm till 8am, woke up lying on my stomach. (Not the best feeling).

 

Monday, February 4th
So far, have gotten in about 2 oz of protein hot chocolate and ready to start day … slowly. 

 

I took off a few days of work but we’ll see how I feel on Thursday. 

 

I seem to be less emotional about surgery than expected.  That's not to say I'm not nervous but I'm not excited either. Maybe it's just overwhelmed?

I wonder if it's because I felt so good in my size 18 jeans yesterday?  It made me question if I even really need the surgery?  But then I remind myself of THOSE photos I took last week, to be my official OMGosh "before" pics.  I sure can hide beneath my clothes.  

So, today is dedicated to all the last-minute details so I know I'll be even more overwhelmed by day's end.

I want to cry but am ready  all the same.

I remember the days before my first IVF, so filled with hope of getting pregnant. I basically knew what to expect because I've always been around children, they were my life.  I was ready to be a mom.

But here, now, I don't know what being thin is. It's taken me years to have the self-image that says I'm FINE no matter what size I am.   I don't know what it's like to shop in sections other than the plus size.  I don't know how it feels to get that attention from others, to be noticed vs. not-noticed because of my weight.  Will I be even more confident than I am now?   The unknowns are what scare me, I guess.   I've always been the happy, confident fat woman.... will I be a happy, confident thin one, too? 

Anyone who has never struggled with weight would not understand this post but I hope there are people on here that do. 

...but being lazy about it by linkining to my blog! 

http://hkd1970.blogspot.com/